ok you male subs

[bronntanas]

Thanks for answering, Everybody...

It's not something I wank over, or had even thought of before. It was hard not to notice the scene going on, when it's happening in front of you, and then it sort of got stuck in my head. It seemed odd to me; since most PYL's seem to value their pyl's sexuality, it would seem strange that they'd alter them in this way. It's not something I'd choose for myself alone, but I can see that if I had a strong commitment to someone, a strong submissive bond, I might be able to do it for them if they wanted me to. But that's the only case where I feel it'd work for me.

onceburned; I ran across the gentleman and Lady at a party in the UK when I was there for a few days. I believe he said it'd been done in a European hospital, but I can't remember where it was done. It's a small enough community over there that I can probably find out next time I'm over there.

BTW, neither one of my Ladies would go for castration. Gates of Hell maybe, cbt definately, but mucking about with a guy's parts in a non-decorative and permament way, never.

 

[mslv4Her]

Male subs......how do I get myself one!

That is definitely a pleasing idea to me...

Well, if You're ever in Dayton, i'd be happy to loan myself to You for awhile!

 

[onceburned]

onceburned; I ran across the gentleman and Lady at a party in the UK when I was there for a few days. I believe he said it'd been done in a European hospital, but I can't remember where it was done. It's a small enough community over there that I can probably find out next time I'm over there.

That isn't necessay, but thank you. I just wanted to get the word that castration is a surgical procedure and that people do sometimes die from shock and blood loss. I can think of at least two cases where the person who did the castration were convicted of murder. But both cases are in the U.S. and European laws might be different.

 

[rbijon]

Hey let's get back to the real subject, subs and our Mistress's, and how we serve them. ...and OH, did I mention panties

 

[snowy ciara]

Getting one's self castrated as a symbol of devotion to one's PYL is OT?

 

[roosterado9]

Hey let's get back to the real subject, subs and our Mistress's, and how we serve them. ...and OH, did I mention panties

i send mine pics or my Asiatic Lilys the orange and black one is dedicated to Her

 

[Jay Davis]

One of the things that really bugs me is the misconception that male subs are all snivelling, effeminate, needy sissies. I've always seen submission in general, and my own submission in particular, as an act of strength and masculinity, with an inherent dignity to it. I don't feel any "weaker" than a male Dom just because I am compelled to serve women; in many ways, I feel stronger, because I can and have endured things that they haven't and never will.

From my perspective, service and submission don't diminish the sub, but free him to reach his full potential. I know from my own life--in relationships, in my education, in my career(s!)--I always perform much better when I feel that I am part of something larger than myself, working in service to worthy of my dedication and devotion. If I'm working for myself, it's hard to get inspired, but if it's for a greater good, there's just no stopping me.

Let me offer a few examples of relationships that I see as Dominant/submissive, from history, myth and literature. You'll note that many or most of these examples are NOT exclusively sexual, or even sexual at all. Instead, they are strong partnerships based around a balance of power and service, and mutual respect and devotion...

Guinevere and Lancelot
Queen Isabella and Christopher Columbus
Queen Elizabeth and Sir Frances Drake
Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay (Star Trek Voyager)
Major Kyra and Odo (ST: Deep Space 9, specifically the first couple of seasons)

(There are countless other examples, but I am blanking at the moment. I was a bit surprised to cite not one but two Star Trek examples, but Roddenberry was always pretty forward-looking with regard to gender roles.)

The point is, in each of these relationships, the woman was clearly in the dominant role, and the man in the subservient position. But in each case, the man in question was strong individual capable of decisive action on behalf of the woman he served. His devotion to her service gave his life and his actions meaning and purpose. He didn't need to be micro-managed; he could be trusted to put her needs ahead of his own, and to act faithfully on her behalf, even when she wasn't standing over him with a crop in hand.

I found Netzach's division of submissives into kitties and puppies very interesting and useful. Although when I saw her first sentence, I thought, oh, yes, well, I'd be a puppy...but when I read her definition of a kitty slave, I realized that she's nailed me perfectly, both good and bad:

Kitty is complicated, easily traumatized if you come on too strong, kitty needs reassurance more than the rolled up newspaper, but kitty can handle long stretches of independence and important secret missions without being told how to complete them to the degree of detail that pup needs.

That description also applies to my examples above. Elizabeth didn't need to tell Drake how many casks of fresh water to load onto his ships--she just told him to explore the west coast of the new world, and he saw to it that it got done in her name. I suppose you could say that in such cases, the Domme determines the What and Why of the thing to be done, but can count on the sub to handle the minutia of How without undue handholding and constant oversight.

I'm not saying that's the only form of submission that exists or is valid...it's just the one that applies in my case. And I suppose it's really more germaine to the relationship as a whole, rather than to scenes or sexual interaction. But then, I see the D/s relationship as all encompassing, and not just about roles thrown on for a couple hours in the bedroom.

 

[SweetDommes]

One of the things that really bugs me is the misconception that male subs are all snivelling, effeminate, needy sissies. I've always seen submission in general, and my own submission in particular, as an act of strength and masculinity, with an inherent dignity to it. I don't feel any "weaker" than a male Dom just because I am compelled to serve women; in many ways, I feel stronger, because I can and have endured things that they haven't and never will.

I believe you will find that the Dommes who post on this thread (and generally on this board) do not believe that at all. And we are very happy that not all of you are (in reference to "male subs are all snivelling, effeminate, needy sissies").

 

[Aeroil]

I believe you will find that the Dommes who post on this thread (and generally on this board) do not believe that at all. And we are very happy that not all of you are (in reference to "male subs are all snivelling, effeminate, needy sissies").

Not that that particular breed doesn't have it's fanbase.

 

[SweetDommes]

Not that that particular breed doesn't have it's fanbase.

Yeah, but we aren't members of the fan club ... and don't have any intentions of joining - ever

 

[SweetDommes]

A thought brought up by a thread on another message board and a current situation:

Boys ... if a Domme gave you her phone number, would you call her? How long would you wait?

 

[onceburned]

It would depend on how well I knew the domme in question.

If someone I had never heard of sent me a phone number, I would be reluctant to call it until I knew more about the person.

If it was someone I knew from personal contact (including emails) or I knew of her from mutual friends or from seeing her postings in an online forum I would be likely to give a call. After all, how much effort or cost does a phone call cost?

(of course, if I am in the Gobi Desert digging for dinosaur eggs and my only option is a three day drive to the nearest satellite phone... I might think otherwise.)

 

[Shadowsdream]

What is the most unusual toy a Mistress has ever used on you?

A fem sub of a Dom friend of Mine brought Me a gift about 9 months ago...interestingly enough it is an implement I would have never even considered until it was presented to Me.

The tool in question is a plastic grass like plant. I use it both to graze the skin and as a flogger. Though it does seem to have small amounts of breakage each time the mess it leaves behind is worth the sensations it gives. Having tried it upon My inner arm I discovered that the sensation is a cross between a burn and a sting...almost like stinging nettle.

This silly toy is "wonderful" for torturing the penis as well...a firm slap will not cause damage but will get more than a whimper every time!

 

[kidkaoz]

toy

What is the most unusual toy a Mistress has ever used on you?

I would have to say a nerds rope (the candy). It has many uses, to tie up a body part, as a flogger, and it can be rubbed back and forth across something. The nerds act a bit like serated teeth. And afterwards the treated area is yummy for the mistress to bite or taste.

I wish I had some pictures to show you.

 

[SweetDommes]

It would depend on how well I knew the domme in question.

If someone I had never heard of sent me a phone number, I would be reluctant to call it until I knew more about the person.

If it was someone I knew from personal contact (including emails) or I knew of her from mutual friends or from seeing her postings in an online forum I would be likely to give a call. After all, how much effort or cost does a phone call cost?

(of course, if I am in the Gobi Desert digging for dinosaur eggs and my only option is a three day drive to the nearest satellite phone... I might think otherwise.)

For the purposes of the question - you have been chatting online with the Domme for a month or two, and have been invited to go to a munch with her.

 

[Aeroil]

For the purposes of the question - you have been chatting online with the Domme for a month or two, and have been invited to go to a munch with her.

Depends on the person, it always does, how much I trusted and liked her, and all that.

 

[SweetDommes]

Depends on the person, it always does, how much I trusted and liked her, and all that.

I understand that - but again, for the purposes of the question ... this is someone that you are considering a relationship with - things have progressed for a few months, you get the phone number and give her yours - this would be the first offline contact with this potential Domme (not just friend, we're talking potential full time D/s relationship).

 

[landcruisergal]

Not that that particular breed doesn't have it's fanbase.

and I'm not joining either,
Glad the thread has been revived.

 

[Aeroil]

I understand that - but again, for the purposes of the question ... this is someone that you are considering a relationship with - things have progressed for a few months, you get the phone number and give her yours - this would be the first offline contact with this potential Domme (not just friend, we're talking potential full time D/s relationship).

Then I'd probably go, as unlikely as me finding someone like that at this particular point in time is.

 

[Aeroil]

and I'm not joining either,
Glad the thread has been revived.

*snickers* Indeed, the ones that have don't seem to be frequent posters here at all.

 

[landcruisergal]

maybe they were a little offended by the "snivelling,effeminite sissy" generalisation.
I like sissyboys actually. But as a subbie friend to my subbie side.
Not as a boy to own for myself.
But I certainly respect the bravery that goes with crossdressing in front of another person.

 

[Jay Davis]

When I referred to "snivelling, effeminite sissy" male subs, I wasn't meaning to judge or dismiss subs who are physically male but androgynous or even some form of trans (from -vestite thru -sexual). I was attempting to evoke a negative and inaccurate stereotype that exists in the mind of many people not directly connected to the F/m segment of the lifestyle lumping all male subs and slaves into a single, negative category. It's difficult to talk about that stereotype without inadvertently demeaning those male subs whose submission manifests itself with a feminine quality, but that was certainly not my intention. And frankly, I think that it takes a special kind of strength for legitimate gender-bending subs (and Dom/mes, for that matter) to accept, embrace, and project their sexual identity. I was more attempting to dismiss the notion that male subs--from the most macho to the most gender-crossing--are inherently weak and pathetic. If my word choice was misleading or gave offense, I sincerely apologize.

------------------------------------------------

On the other topic at hand--how long would I wait before calling a Domme with whom I already had some familiarity and comfort from online contact?

I'd wait exactly as long as I was directed to, and not a moment longer. The situation as presented pre-supposes an ongoing exchange of emails and chat, a sense of familiarity, and the anticipation of some chemistry face-to-face. Taking those factors as written, I'd call her when she told me she was expecting me to. If she hadn't given me a time and date to call, I'd ask her for her instructions via a polite and respectful email.

I guess a related question would be, how much online interaction would you require before you felt comfortable proceeding to a phone conversation and a face-to-face meeting?

I think it's best to cut to the chase. I was taught this by a Domme I met through alt.com early in my experience. We exchanged emails and chatted online for perhaps a week, had one longish phone conversation, then set up a face-to-face. Her thinking was protracted online flirtations build hopes and expectations that an eventual real-life meeting probably won't live up to. In many cases, despite a good online relationship, there simply won't be the proper chemistry or attraction in real life. She felt--and at this point, I agree--it's best to discover that VERY early, before you've spent several months building an online relationship based on fantasy and wishful thinking.

If I'm corresponding and chatting with someone online--assuming they are local, of course--I'll offer my phone number and suggest a casual, non-play meeting within the first couple of weeks. I don't multi-task well at all, so I won't be exploring the more than one possible relationship at a time. Her time is precious, and so is mine, so it's really best that we test the chemistry fairly quickly after discovering potential compatibility online. Further, I won't seriously ponder a relationship with anyone who isn't local to me--I've tried the long-distance thing, and I've never found the incredibly slim possibility of success to be worth the overwhelming risk of failure, no matter how compatible we seem.

That's not to say I won't flirt online, but an online "relationship" is a game, not a real D/s relationship, to me at least. It can and should be fun, but ultimately, it's just words.

As for the Domme who taught me these lessons...we did meet, and quickly discovered that we weren't a likely pair for play or a relationship. She is a pure sadist, and I'm a more romantic/service-oriented sub. She wisely recognized that play between us wasn't a good idea, and that a relationship was doomed. We became friends, tho, and continued to meet regularly as such for quite some time. I learned a lot from her, and we both enjoyed one anothers' company over coffee or a meal.

 

[rbijon]

maybe they were a little offended by the "snivelling,effeminite sissy" generalisation.
I like sissyboys actually. But as a subbie friend to my subbie side.
Not as a boy to own for myself.
But I certainly respect the bravery that goes with crossdressing in front of another person.

I am a "boy toy" to my Mistress, or at least She calls me that sometimes, and I am very much a man. I know She has me wear panties just to bring me down a peg or two, and there are other acts of submission She demands of me, but I am never effeminite or sissyfied by Her. She loves it that I am a man and can at the end of our play give Her want She wants. A big rock-out orgasm.....

 

[bronntanas]

A thought brought up by a thread on another message board and a current situation:

Boys ... if a Domme gave you her phone number, would you call her? How long would you wait?

When I've recieved the number in person, I ask when the best time to call is. Then I do it. Online, I did the same thing but since I didn't know the person very well, I ended up waiting a day or so as I looked up the person's posts on the site where we sort of met.

What is the most unusual toy a Mistress has ever used on you?

You know those little teething ring things they make for babies that you put in the freezer for them to chew on? Lady T likes to use them for cock rings. With one of her boys she gets into a lot of verbal humiliation about it his wimpy baby cock. I'm not so much into that (the humiliation factor) so she just ties four or five together til she gets a frozen gates of hell sort of contraption.

 

[Xelebes]

A thought brought up by a thread on another message board and a current situation:

Boys ... if a Domme gave you her phone number, would you call her? How long would you wait?

The standard 24/36 hr rule. That is, if she gives her phone number before 9 PM, I call her after 24 hrs. After that, I give at least 36 hrs. Dunno why, I think it's the standard. Or is that the 48 hr rule? Shit so many man-rules, argh.