ok you male subs

[Aeroil]

It is so lovely to have Your thoughts in this thread. I know personally that male subs are all about letting out their emotions when guided safely to do so. The more the tell about their inner selves the more content they become under their owner(s).....

For a few days I've been debating whether or not to mention something here on the forums, and I had kinda decided to mostly keep it to myself, and although the above post really isn't too related to this subject, It got me thinking and I changed my mind, for no one reason I can pinpoint.
It has been nearly five weeks since my Mistress has contacted me, and this wondering about whether or not she's coming back has left me very heartsick and tired, so I decided I'm going to stop wondering, it hurts too much. Which would mean that I'm unowned... I guess.
Perhaps this isn't the best thread to post this in, Shadowsdream and I apologize if it's not, but I really didn't want to make my own thread and draw too much attention to it, and I wasn't sure where else it might go.

 

[SweetDommes]

I hate to be the one to say it, and I honestly hope that it is just something that happened - a family emergency or something and she just couldn't tell you before she left - but 5 weeks without contact, you can pretty safely say that you are unowned. Hell, I consider one week without contact with our potentials to be a sign that they are no longer interested. If I really really like them, I send them a message at the end of week one, and if I don't hear anything back from them at the end of week two they are off the list. Anything over 3 weeks and they have to start from scratch.

That is one of many reasons that I hate online. Not only is it incredibly difficult to judge emotions/meanings behind some words, but it's easy to say "oh, I'll message them tomorrow, it's not like they will notice I'm gone today" ... then it becomes "oh, it's been a week, I should message them ... " and then "crap, I haven't messaged them in 2-3 weeks, I wonder if they even want to hear from me anymore" ... it's stressful and complicated and just a pain in the ass.

 

[jasonlf]

I do *not* do solely online.

As little experience I have with such relationships, I always involve telephone contact as well. It tends to add some extra accountability.

 

[SweetDommes]

I do *not* do solely online.

As little experience I have with such relationships, I always involve telephone contact as well. It tends to add some extra accountability.

We don't either - we do, however, use online for the sole means of communication until we reach a certain level of 'trust' with a potential. No offence, but there are a lot of nuts out there, and I don't want them having my phone number.

 

[AAkasha]

For a few days I've been debating whether or not to mention something here on the forums, and I had kinda decided to mostly keep it to myself, and although the above post really isn't too related to this subject, It got me thinking and I changed my mind, for no one reason I can pinpoint.
It has been nearly five weeks since my Mistress has contacted me, and this wondering about whether or not she's coming back has left me very heartsick and tired, so I decided I'm going to stop wondering, it hurts too much. Which would mean that I'm unowned... I guess.
Perhaps this isn't the best thread to post this in, Shadowsdream and I apologize if it's not, but I really didn't want to make my own thread and draw too much attention to it, and I wasn't sure where else it might go.

Maybe something did happen, but if not, 5 weeks is definitely too long to go without contact. But it brings up another important point, and that is that there must be some agreement on both sides regarding things like this -- how often will there be contact on average? That's a reason "net only" is difficult.

I'm not saying this is what happened in your case, but it seems like online a lot of dominants are quite content to run around "collaring" all sorts of people on a whim as if collecting baseball cards.

I hope it works out for you. Perhaps it's a miscommunication, and that does happen.

Akasha

 

[Shadowsdream]

For a few days I've been debating whether or not to mention something here on the forums, and I had kinda decided to mostly keep it to myself, and although the above post really isn't too related to this subject, It got me thinking and I changed my mind, for no one reason I can pinpoint.
It has been nearly five weeks since my Mistress has contacted me, and this wondering about whether or not she's coming back has left me very heartsick and tired, so I decided I'm going to stop wondering, it hurts too much. Which would mean that I'm unowned... I guess.
Perhaps this isn't the best thread to post this in, Shadowsdream and I apologize if it's not, but I really didn't want to make my own thread and draw too much attention to it, and I wasn't sure where else it might go.

Hello Aeroil and thank you for bringing this far to often reality of online relationships into the discussion. In all honesty I do believe that a relationship that begins online has as much chance of success as one that begins in any other way. But the length of time since there was communication would have Me shrugging My shoulders and moving on.

So many new Dom/mes or subs are just in the process of creating themselves when they discover online is the perfect venue to "test" out their theories and assumptions about domination and submission. This is not necessarily a bad thing. But it can be a sad thing when one finds the drain of having to be online at inconvenient times or to discover that with a BDSM relationship of any kind there is responsibility becomes to much of a burden and very little fun...a separation occurs.

I think you have already answered your own doubts. You appear to be a very well balanced young man. Relationships come and go when you begin this journey and possibly even more so than in the vanilla world. Be positive and with your eyes wide open you will realize your magic exactly when it is meant to occur.

 

[jasonlf]

We don't either - we do, however, use online for the sole means of communication until we reach a certain level of 'trust' with a potential. No offence, but there are a lot of nuts out there, and I don't want them having my phone number.

To me the threshold for trusting someone enough to dom them is higher than the threshold for giving them a phone number

 

[Nathon_88]

*nods and randomly hugs people*


Sorry to hear that Aeroil.

"Tis better to have loved and lost."

*sighs* I really, REALLY hate that expression. What did that person figure? That hearts are baseball cards? *sighs again*

Sorry. /morose

Life is shitty at times, but it's a hell of a lot better than the alternatives. Look at it this way. You have more time to find the RIGHT person for you. It may take a while longer, but it is definately worth the time to find the person that you think you can trust implicitly.

Just make sure they are the RIGHT person.

Being with the wrong person for the right reasons.....will eventually leave you upset and full of remorse.

Cthulu! What have I been drinking that caused THIS reflection. Okay. No more soju tonight.

 

[SweetDommes]

To me the threshold for trusting someone enough to dom them is higher than the threshold for giving them a phone number

Which is why we do not Dominate online either - we communicate online. If you actually read my entire post, it specifically states that we do not do solely online for our relationships, but we DO use it as the sole means of communication as we are getting to know the potential (not in those words, but that is what I meant ... I thought it was clear enough, but obviously not).

I never said that we base the entire relationship upon online, and in fact, I was quite clear (I thought) that we are the opposite - that we would never base the entire relationship solely on online interactions. However, that initial communication, until we feel that we are compatable enough that things might work and the guy isn't a total psycho ... that IS solely online. I would say that the initial 3-4 weeks, in general - although we have done longer and shorter than that - are all that are strictly online unless we decide that we are not compatable as Dommes/sub and are only going to pursue friendship with the person, and if we decide that, then we tell the person. Normally they decide that if we aren't going to Dominate them, then they don't even want to talk to us ... which is sad, but it is their decision.

As you say, it takes more trust to be involved in the D/s aspects with someone than to give someone your phone number .. which is why we move in stages. We communicate online to see if there is anything that we can base a relationship on - if not, then don't bother moving to the next stage ... if there is, then we give them our phone number and start working towards the next stage - actually meeting face to face. And if we make it to that stage (and actual meeting) then we begin to introduce D/s into the mix - but not before.

 

[bronntanas]

Good morning boys

I have been thinking about bondage this morning and how freeing it can be to most submissives but on rare occassions I have run across a boy that fears bondage. Have any of you ever been in a bondage situation that caused you fear and not in a good way?

The bondage itself didn't scare me or make me uncomfortable; it was the suspension that made me flinch. Lady T wrapped me securely in a military issue cargo net, attached carabiners to the sides from my shoulders down to the bottoms of my feet (I was mummy wrapped) and used a marine type hoist to raise me off the floor to about a 4 feet level. Just when I was starting to relax and enjoy the sensation, I heard a CREEEEEEAAAAAKKK!. It sounded like it came from the beams above me. It was actually on the CD of music She'd made for the occasion, but it was an incredible mind fuck.

 

[Shadowsdream]

The bondage itself didn't scare me or make me uncomfortable; it was the suspension that made me flinch. Lady T wrapped me securely in a military issue cargo net, attached carabiners to the sides from my shoulders down to the bottoms of my feet (I was mummy wrapped) and used a marine type hoist to raise me off the floor to about a 4 feet level. Just when I was starting to relax and enjoy the sensation, I heard a CREEEEEEAAAAAKKK!. It sounded like it came from the beams above me. It was actually on the CD of music She'd made for the occasion, but it was an incredible mind fuck.

Lady T sounds like a devious Woman...I like Her laready ~~grin~~
Thank you for sharing that scenerio bronntannas

 

[bronntanas]

Lady T sounds like a devious Woman...I like Her laready ~~grin~~
Thank you for sharing that scenerio bronntannas

You're very welcome, Ma'am. Sometimes I think it'd be cool to introduce You to Her, as well as Lady M, and watch You brainstorm together. Then I think that if I ever did get You three in the same room, I'd be at the pay phone in the men's room warning all of Your subs/slaves/pets!

One truism in My home is that those I choose have to have a good self esteem so as to not become lost in jealousy or possessiveness.

you boys...how do you deal with jealousy and possessivesness or are these factors at all in a BDSM relationship?

I don't really play the jealousy game; it seems kind of immature and childish. Also, there are several other factors involved. While I am in a long term relationship with both of the Ladies in my life, I'm not their only boy. I know this. I knew this going in. I'm not going to be their only boy. Another factor is that I don't feel that I'm ready for the One True Love/Mistress/Master/PYL thing. I'm too young, too inexperienced. I don't feel that I can give a PYL the type of service they deserve, so I'm not going to demand a strictly one on one relationship. It wouldn't be fair to them to demand that of them. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm polyamorous. Lady T and Lady M know each other; they're friendly acquaintances, but there's no three waying going on. We each seem to feed a different hunger for each other. I know that I like guys too. As long as I take good care my loved ones, and of my body and remain free of disease and mentally healthy, I have no problem loving more than one person and it'd be pretty selfish and crass to demand the same my loved ones.

Now possessiveness as it ties into loyalty, I have a problem or two with. I'm an intensely loyal person, as C's Button can attest too! I don't like it when people hurt my friends and loved ones, and I have a bad habit of not thinking before I act. It's like, you get me for a friend and you get a Knut in Shining Armour as snowy calls me. It's not really blind devotion to them. If I think you've messed up or you're wrong about something, I'll tell you. Lying to make you feel better is not being a good friend. But let someone come after them, or hurt them, I get all "mine"ish in a Mafioso sort of way. You hurt one of "my" family, and I get all cave mannish about it. So in that manner of speaking, you bet I have a problem with possessiveness!

I find also, that this protective/possessiveness affects other pyl's as well. I've been known to put my foot in it. I once called out a PYL over here for something I viewed as being overly harsh to a sub. They both jumped on me, and yes, I deserved it! (Again, apologies to you both.) I sort of view most pyl's as an extended family, so I can tend to get out of line that way. I'm working on it, though.

 

[snowy ciara]

The bondage itself didn't scare me or make me uncomfortable; it was the suspension that made me flinch. Lady T wrapped me securely in a military issue cargo net, attached carabiners to the sides from my shoulders down to the bottoms of my feet (I was mummy wrapped) and used a marine type hoist to raise me off the floor to about a 4 feet level. Just when I was starting to relax and enjoy the sensation, I heard a CREEEEEEAAAAAKKK!. It sounded like it came from the beams above me. It was actually on the CD of music She'd made for the occasion, but it was an incredible mind fuck.

Was this a "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" moment?

As long as I take good care my loved ones, and of my body and remain free of disease and mentally healthy, I have no problem loving more than one person and it'd be pretty selfish and crass to demand the same my loved ones.

I've loaned you a comma and an and, dear.

 

[bronntanas]

Was this a "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" moment?



I've loaned you a comma and an and, dear.

Little Bit, I started with "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" and was halfway through the Convocation of Saints before my heart quit racing.... And thank you for the punctuation. That's what I get for posting with assistance of Mssrs Guinness and JD.

edited cause I got my two favorite sexy subbie girls confused for a moment. Sorry ladies.

 

[snowy ciara]

edited cause I got my two favorite sexy subbie girls confused for a moment. Sorry ladies.

I'd noticed, but I was being good. Don't let it go to your head. I'll get you when you're sober!

Sorry for the hijack, Ms. Shadowsdream.

 

[bronntanas]

Sorry for the hijack, Ms. Shadowsdream.

Dreaded "me too" post, Ma'am. Sorry for the hijacking.

 

[jasonlf]

Which is why we do not Dominate online either - we communicate online. If you actually read my entire post, it specifically states that we do not do solely online for our relationships, but we DO use it as the sole means of communication as we are getting to know the potential (not in those words, but that is what I meant ... I thought it was clear enough, but obviously not).

I never said that we base the entire relationship upon online, and in fact, I was quite clear (I thought) that we are the opposite - that we would never base the entire relationship solely on online interactions. However, that initial communication, until we feel that we are compatable enough that things might work and the guy isn't a total psycho ... that IS solely online. I would say that the initial 3-4 weeks, in general - although we have done longer and shorter than that - are all that are strictly online unless we decide that we are not compatable as Dommes/sub and are only going to pursue friendship with the person, and if we decide that, then we tell the person. Normally they decide that if we aren't going to Dominate them, then they don't even want to talk to us ... which is sad, but it is their decision.

As you say, it takes more trust to be involved in the D/s aspects with someone than to give someone your phone number .. which is why we move in stages. We communicate online to see if there is anything that we can base a relationship on - if not, then don't bother moving to the next stage ... if there is, then we give them our phone number and start working towards the next stage - actually meeting face to face. And if we make it to that stage (and actual meeting) then we begin to introduce D/s into the mix - but not before.

Ah, my mistake for misunderstanding your other post, milady.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Good morning little highjackers!

Last night I was at a play party where I opened the night with a CBT workshop. It was very interesting to watch the males in the room as My assistant and those I pulled off of the floor began to torment My stunt bottoms at My direction.
The subs in the audience sat forward eagerly on their chairs squirming and obviously picturing themselves on stage. The male Doms cringed and kept their legs in a protective position as they grinned at Me.
I thought of you all as I relaxed afterwards to watch the next workshop on erotic rope bondage with two males still in My bondage behind Me.
Would you actively participate in such a public venue with the Mistress of your dreams?

 

[bronntanas]

CBT is right out there in the edge play area for me, so not right away. But if I could work up to it, yes. The bondage workshop, I'm so there!

 

[Aeroil]

For me, doing public play would depend on three things, the Mistress, of course, the crowd, and to a lesser extent, what was being done. If I knew at least some of the people in the crowd, if I trusted the Mistress and what was being done wasn't hardcore humiliation, I'd be just fine with it....... not to say that doing something I'd rather not isn't possible either.

 

[NovaShenron]

very nteresting Shadowsdream i never have done CBT. I never got the chance wit my Mistress she released me the other dy because she couldn't o as much as she needed and wanted to. and I miss her very much but i was going to be trained in CBT, Bondage, chains, orgasm denial and alot of other things but she couldn't because she was having some problems so she couldn't do all the stuff she wished, but i have seen displays of it and it looks very interesting. I hope i have the opertunity to experience this in my life, well i hope you have alot more parties and alot more funn with ur subs..

 

[Shadowsdream]

CBT is right out there in the edge play area for me, so not right away. But if I could work up to it, yes. The bondage workshop, I'm so there!

Hello bronntanas

The bondage workshop was very interesting as it was done with some humour and as much for entertainment benefit than anything else...just one simple knot but used as prediciment bondage...putting two women into bondage together in intimate positions or positions that they must struggle to try to get out of.

The CBT boys also had a delightful time with some humiliation some pain and a great deal of pride in serving Me and knowing that they would be rewarded throughout the evening with their time on the equipment and under My whip.

 

[Alt]

Would you actively participate in such a public venue with the Mistress of your dreams?

Indeed, I would gladly.

 

[AAkasha]

I'm curious to hear what male submissives find makes them feel most vulnerable:

Bondage
Pain
Humiliation

(or, something else, if there is a category I am missing). Why does it affect you in that way?


Akasha

 

[fergus4]

Shadows Dream,

I am a male sub who is having a hard time getting started in BDSM (finding people, dealing with issues of openess etc.)

I want to thank you and the other people on this thread SO much for your words of encouragement.

Oh, and AAkasha, as for vulnerability....I would have to say it is the humiliation. Nothing else strikes so closely to the fragile male ego.

Fergus