Online D/s... whats it good for?

[lark sparrow]

Re: just a though

Before the internet, before the age of everyone having telephones, etc.. There were many "love affairs" that occurred via "snail mail" and many of these went on for years and some did get together. So this is not something new it is just happening more because we do have the internet, etc.

silkee_A

Of course not, non-monogamy or cheating has been going on as long as people have been pairing up. But, the Internet has allowed it on a grand scale... and think of the difference in speed between snail mail and instant messages, as well as the sheer numbers of people from all over the world. Also, remember that in the past marriage was much more of an expected arrangement than a thing one did for love.

 

[browndream72]

well said...

to everyone who has been making my daily reading so damn interesting...thank you...i must say i completely agree with a certain lists posted earlier...10 dom's 7 subs...and also with the fact that monogomy has never seemed to be the by-word most people perceive it as...myself...sex is sex in any form at any time...the things that matter...trust, intimacy, love...those things can't be given they have to be earned whether you are in one-on one relationship or not.... And it seems that in d/s relationships...those are the very first things one should work on....but ebough of my prattle...carry on all...and have a great day!!!

 

[skye in silk]

wow leave lit for a week and come back and find the thread still alive...pretty cool.

Everyone here has valid points. i agree there are lots of fakes and pretenders on chat and one has to be wary...and if that was my only source for learing about D/s...i would be warped. Truth is that i take everything at face value, don't feel the need to bow or scrape or call everyone Sir. Some seem to think that submissives that go into chat cannot recognize the fakes and will fall at the feet of anyone with a Master tagged onto their name. this isn't true at all, i have had heartfelt discussions with others about D/s online in chat...have gotten to know many in the lifestyle in real life...and im always cautious when getting to know someone. No way to meet people is perfect, and yes the wannabes and pretenders do exist.

Take it for what it is. for Married folks, or others who can't do real life...it allows them an outlet for their fantasies. is this really a bad thing in the scheme of things? sure it doesn't have one iota of realism compared with real life but does this diminish in any way real time D/s?

thanks to all for responding, wow i feel kind of honored to see that the "Dream soapopera" and the "PB ass huntin" made an appearance, almost feel like a reg on the board. lol

Skye

 

[Ebonyfire]

wow leave lit for a week and come back and find the thread still alive...pretty cool.

Everyone here has valid points. i agree there are lots of fakes and pretenders on chat and one has to be wary...and if that was my only source for learing about D/s...i would be warped. Truth is that i take everything at face value, don't feel the need to bow or scrape or call everyone Sir. Some seem to think that submissives that go into chat cannot recognize the fakes and will fall at the feet of anyone with a Master tagged onto their name. this isn't true at all, i have had heartfelt discussions with others about D/s online in chat...have gotten to know many in the lifestyle in real life...and im always cautious when getting to know someone. No way to meet people is perfect, and yes the wannabes and pretenders do exist.

Take it for what it is. for Married folks, or others who can't do real life...it allows them an outlet for their fantasies. is this really a bad thing in the scheme of things? sure it doesn't have one iota of realism compared with real life but does this diminish in any way real time D/s?

thanks to all for responding, wow i feel kind of honored to see that the "Dream soapopera" and the "PB ass huntin" made an appearance, almost feel like a reg on the board. lol

Skye

We really didn't mean to highjack your thread!

Eb

 

[MissTaken]

Take it for what it is. for Married folks, or others who can't do real life...it allows them an outlet for their fantasies. is this really a bad thing in the scheme of things? sure it doesn't have one iota of realism compared with real life but does this diminish in any way real time D/s?

Skye

And as BDSM becomes more mainstreamed vis a vis the internet and information available, how people practice is bound to change, be modified to suit THEIR needs. Now, certainly my translation and interpretation of BDSM is not the same as anyone else's. Of course, my needs are not the same as anyone elses, similar , perhaps? But, never the same.

Whatever works!



.

 

[lark sparrow]

Everyone here has valid points. i agree there are lots of fakes and pretenders on chat and one has to be wary...and if that was my only source for learning about D/s...i would be warped.

I agreed with your whole post, but this statement particularly stuck out. (Not for you personally! but in general.) D/s chat rooms can be very warped places lol with people going through names, partners, fads and fantasies very quickly. Creating a short or long-term, interactive fantasy instead of watching tv, or actually having a physical affair can be good fun and may add some spice outside someone's regular life.

It's really not right or wrong beyond personal choices, and it's hard to make those (correct choices for you personally) if the person you are dealing with is lying. Sure, it happens "r/l" too, but the fact that you are blind to everything but written words allows for unscalable mountains and utterly bogging swamps of BS. Fantasy and ego can rule.

Other than that there are some wonderful people online who want generally honest, respectful relationships, of whatever type - married people, who are honest with themselves and their r/l and cyber partners included. The only fake or pretend person is one who is lying, it has nothing to do with their level of D/s or it's place in thier life.

 

[Sex & Diamonds]

skye


I said I'd post and here I am.



I can only give what online D/s means to me. My opinion. Not the way it is, not the way it should be. Just what I think.

I might be wrong, lord knows I've made mistakes along the way and I'll make more but that's how I learn.


I'm married and in my marriage D/s or even BDSM wasn't a part of it. I married a wonderful man. He's just "vanilla". Back then when we were married my feelings towards D/s were hidden. Hell I didn't even really understand what D/s was.


Seeking and learning online (almost 2 years now) has been the best thing for me. I've had my up's and down's, and there will be more too come as I wouldn't give up online D/s for the world.


Long ago I entered into an online relationship. I took his collar and he named me. It was wonderful. I was in heaven. He taught me many things. I won't go on and on about all the details.....that would be telling.... It ended happily on both sides. Now I'm entering another relationship, slowly. No rushing. Only time will tell what happens.


Anyways. For people like myself I think online D/s definately has a place. I didn't want too run off and have a "real" affair. I don't want too risk my marriage. Why punish the wonderful man I married because of my own wants and desires? It's selfish in my eyes and I don't feel I have to ruin my family over it.

I'll give online one thing. It's frustrating.

but then there's phone and that's a whole different thread !

As real as it can be in my mind, it's not too my body...well, certain aspects too it. If I have to explain that one...well......I'm not.


So that's about it.

My rambling is coming to an end here.


I think one of the beautiful things about D/s and BDSM is the people in it. the willingness to allow everyone to express themselves without the burden of judgement.

Online or offline.


Okay. Now that's everything I think.





luv ya skye ((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))


S&D

 

[mistresssilkeng]

It's really not right or wrong beyond personal choices, and it's hard to make those (correct choices for you personally) if the person you are dealing with is lying. Sure, it happens "r/l" too, but the fact that you are blind to everything but written words allows for unscalable mountains and utterly bogging swamps of BS. Fantasy and ego can rule.

Well.. as you can tell from My girl's reply she is a bit bias as the chat room we frequent is a bit overun by drama and BS, but I have always enjoyed chat as a fun pasttime, and doesn't associate the relationship with the chat rooms. I see it as a separate entity as in r/l where you deal with a person be it via phone, the internet, or r/l dating. All it boils down to then is feelings and interacting with that person, and building something with them. However, all that said there are so many in chat there just to play, people have to be very careful.
If I could give one word of advice from all I have seen online, is never get into any relationship r/l or online quickly. If you hear or think that this is going to fast it probably is and stepping back or slowing down is what you should do.

Or i am just opinionated?

Silken

 

[Ebonyfire]

Well.. as you can tell from My girl's reply she is a bit bias as the chat room we frequent is a bit overun by drama and BS, but I have always enjoyed chat as a fun pasttime, and doesn't associate the relationship with the chat rooms. I see it as a separate entity as in r/l where you deal with a person be it via phone, the internet, or r/l dating. All it boils down to then is feelings and interacting with that person, and building something with them. However, all that said there are so many in chat there just to play, people have to be very careful.
If I could give one word of advice from all I have seen online, is never get into any relationship r/l or online quickly. If you hear or think that this is going to fast it probably is and stepping back or slowing down is what you should do.

Or i am just opinionated?

Silken

We are entitled to be opinionated.

Eb

 

[Cuckolded_BlK_Male]

We are entitled to be opinionated.

Eb

Thank goodness! I was beginning to worry about that, as I am an opinionated prick ... especially when no one has her foot in my ass to shut me up.

 

[mistresssilkeng]

We are entitled to be opinionated.

Eb

That is a good thing as i am.

Silken

 

[lark sparrow]

We are entitled to be opinionated.

Eb

Was wondering if it was jokingly referencing the "Dominant we", as in the lovely, wicked Dom/mes we all know and love.



Not that everyone else isn't also entitled to opinion.

 

[Cuckolded_BlK_Male]

Was wondering if it was jokingly referencing the "Dominant we", as in the lovely, wicked Dom/mes we all know and love.



Not that everyone else isn't also entitled to opinion.

I was just wondering that myself.

 

[mistresssilkeng]

Was wondering if it was jokingly referencing the "Dominant we", as in the lovely, wicked Dom/mes we all know and love.



Not that everyone else isn't also entitled to opinion.

Smiles you are allowed to be opinonated to a point.. will let you know when u have reached it

Silken

 

[Ebonyfire]

I was just wondering that myself.

It was meant to be tongue in cheek refering to the queenly "we".

Eb< We queen and We are queenly!>

 

[Ebonyfire]

Was wondering if it was jokingly referencing the "Dominant we", as in the lovely, wicked Dom/mes we all know and love.



Not that everyone else isn't also entitled to opinion.

But everyone else is not "queenly".

Eb <lol>

 

[mistresssilkeng]

It was meant to be tongue in cheek refering to the queenly "we".

Eb< We queen and We are queenly!>

Queenly? agrees but I kind of enjoy the word Empressly.. lol if that is even a word... wonders if i can copyright it?

Silken

 

[Ebonyfire]

Queenly? agrees but I kind of enjoy the word Empressly.. lol if that is even a word... wonders if i can copyright it?

Silken

Hmmmm, I like your thinking...you can always coin the phrase!

Eb

 

[mistresssilkeng]

Hmmmm, I like your thinking...you can always coin the phrase!

Eb

Sighhhsss i know but then i can't get royalties everytime it is used

Silken

 

[Ebonyfire]

Sighhhsss i know but then i can't get royalties everytime it is used

Silken

That is an even better point!

Eb

 

[lark sparrow]

Queenly? agrees but I kind of enjoy the word Empressly.. lol if that is even a word... wonders if i can copyright it?

Silken

Bows low with a big grin.... may I offer my services, Empress?

 

[Cuckolded_BlK_Male]

It was meant to be tongue in cheek refering to the queenly "we".

Eb< We queen and We are queenly!>

I wondered that as well. But, the royal we would apply to you and YOU alone ... not to other Dommes.

 

[lark sparrow]

I wondered that as well. But, the royal we would apply to you and YOU alone ... not to other Dommes.

Ummm CBM... you're not arguing with the Queen, are ya?

I thought she might mean Dommes as well, but then I tried to go PC lol and included the Doms as well

 

[Cuckolded_BlK_Male]

No, I was merely explaining why I didn't assume that she meant the "the royal we." semantics ... and all of that.

 

[skye in silk]

skye


I said I'd post and here I am.



I can only give what online D/s means to me. My opinion. Not the way it is, not the way it should be. Just what I think.

I might be wrong, lord knows I've made mistakes along the way and I'll make more but that's how I learn.


I'm married and in my marriage D/s or even BDSM wasn't a part of it. I married a wonderful man. He's just "vanilla". Back then when we were married my feelings towards D/s were hidden. Hell I didn't even really understand what D/s was.


Seeking and learning online (almost 2 years now) has been the best thing for me. I've had my up's and down's, and there will be more too come as I wouldn't give up online D/s for the world.


Long ago I entered into an online relationship. I took his collar and he named me. It was wonderful. I was in heaven. He taught me many things. I won't go on and on about all the details.....that would be telling.... It ended happily on both sides. Now I'm entering another relationship, slowly. No rushing. Only time will tell what happens.


Anyways. For people like myself I think online D/s definately has a place. I didn't want too run off and have a "real" affair. I don't want too risk my marriage. Why punish the wonderful man I married because of my own wants and desires? It's selfish in my eyes and I don't feel I have to ruin my family over it.

I'll give online one thing. It's frustrating.

but then there's phone and that's a whole different thread !

As real as it can be in my mind, it's not too my body...well, certain aspects too it. If I have to explain that one...well......I'm not.


So that's about it.

My rambling is coming to an end here.


I think one of the beautiful things about D/s and BDSM is the people in it. the willingness to allow everyone to express themselves without the burden of judgement.

Online or offline.


Okay. Now that's everything I think.





luv ya skye ((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))


S&D

i love your honesty S & D. and thank you for sharing your experiences with me. i know you are in chat with me, and we have similar feelings towards this mad entity of chat.

for me its just my lack of experience, my shy nature and the feeling that i don't really know what im getting into that is holding me back from real life experience. Somehow i have the feeling that if i take things slow, learn tons that i will be more prepared for skin on skin contact. Maybe. or Maybe i just use the fantasy world of chat as a safe subsitute for not risking it all in real life. something i have to work out i think.

one thing that online has done for me has awakened the need...yes i say need for me to explore these submissive thoughts and for that i am grateful. but i also can't help wonder if i a am just one of those "fakes" and "pretenders" that we are all talking about. does anyone really know if they enjoy being on the harsh side of a flogger until they actually are? i guess i don't really know until i make this fantasy a reality.

Hugs Skye