Online D/s... whats it good for?

[mistresssilkeng]

Bows low with a big grin.... may I offer my services, Empress?

LOL as if you even have to ask love.. of course you can service Me later

Silken

 

[His_sugar]

about time huh?

Hello skye *hugs*..

i think i have started to post to this thread about a hundred times, but each time i get flustered with how to make my thoughts clear.

Online D/s.. it is something different to each person i think. Would any person in their right mind choose to be in an online relationship vs a real life one? i can't hardly imagine they would, but for various reasons, online relationships are often the only alternative.

i personally have had both, belonged to some wonderful real life groups that i learned so much being involved in. i have also been involved in what i call 'chat homes' where the chatters almost feel like a family of sorts. i have had my turns at really, really good positive, loving, caring, educational D/s relationships online, and i have had my glimpse at the snakes that belly the internet as well.

my opinion is that online, you really can nurture your mind, emotions and mental needs and discover things about yourself that might not become so clear otherwise.

i hope during my online exchanges, my friends and my special One find me to be giving, understanding and loyal. There are people that come online to experience D/s, just for the 'get off' factor as i call it. It is completely an arousal tool for them and they log off and go about their daily routines. There are people that are very committed to the relationships they have, exchange information, share ideas, fears and frustrations.. i suppose it is all about personal choices and needs.

i hope your online experience will continue to be a good one.

*hugs*

basquers

 

[skye in silk]

We really didn't mean to highjack your thread!

Eb

LOL Eb. no really i thought it was great. and i never view these threads as owned...just an exchange of ideas on one topic. feel free to post any and all flirtations, fights and musings.

Cheers Skye

 

[Cuckolded_BlK_Male]

"Location: The land of perpetual drizzle, but damn fine coffee! Seattle Wa."

... and the graves of three Pop culture gods, that are subject to frequent pilgrimages. (As a guitar player and a martial artist ... it's only a matter of time until I make that trip)

 

[Sex & Diamonds]

i love your honesty S & D. and thank you for sharing your experiences with me. i know you are in chat with me, and we have similar feelings towards this mad entity of chat.

for me its just my lack of experience, my shy nature and the feeling that i don't really know what im getting into that is holding me back from real life experience. Somehow i have the feeling that if i take things slow, learn tons that i will be more prepared for skin on skin contact. Maybe. or Maybe i just use the fantasy world of chat as a safe subsitute for not risking it all in real life. something i have to work out i think.

one thing that online has done for me has awakened the need...yes i say need for me to explore these submissive thoughts and for that i am grateful. but i also can't help wonder if i a am just one of those "fakes" and "pretenders" that we are all talking about. does anyone really know if they enjoy being on the harsh side of a flogger until they actually are? i guess i don't really know until i make this fantasy a reality.

Hugs Skye

Skye,


Online is soooooo much safer then real life. Once simple click and it's all gone. I believe it's great for learning and exploring about yourself. I also belive that everyone who has true feelings will come to a point that online no longer satisfies that need....that need that has been growning stronger deep down inside you. That's the point where you have too decide to take this offline and make it real. Bring it into the light. Scary but necessary.

With everything in life, we all come to a point where we have taken all that it offers and we move on. Greener pastures and all that stuff. (yeah, I'm a wiz with words, I know)

There is a fine fine line between reality and fantasy. With the understanding of what you recieve from which side comes learning and growing. It is a very delicate balance and as you grow, you will start to recognize which world offers more to you.

Only you know how you feel, how much you've learned and if you need to move on. Being cautious is good, but don't let it hold you back. Don't miss out on an oppertunity because of fear. Take chances, risk and learn.

I know that in time, all will come together for you.

Wishing you all the best

S&D


((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[Sex & Diamonds]

Re: about time huh?

Hello skye *hugs*..

i think i have started to post to this thread about a hundred times, but each time i get flustered with how to make my thoughts clear.
<snip>

basquers

Well said my little wench friend.


Luv ya

 

[His_sugar]

Re: Re: about time huh?

Well said my little wench friend.


Luv ya

*blush*

people are going to think you like me.

 

[Sex & Diamonds]

Re: Re: Re: about time huh?

*blush*

people are going to think you like me.

*gasp*


Bite yer tongue woman.

 

[SierraMoon]

Re: about time huh?

Hello skye *hugs*..

i think i have started to post to this thread about a hundred times, but each time i get flustered with how to make my thoughts clear.

Online D/s.. it is something different to each person i think. Would any person in their right mind choose to be in an online relationship vs a real life one? i can't hardly imagine they would, but for various reasons, online relationships are often the only alternative.

i personally have had both, belonged to some wonderful real life groups that i learned so much being involved in. i have also been involved in what i call 'chat homes' where the chatters almost feel like a family of sorts. i have had my turns at really, really good positive, loving, caring, educational D/s relationships online, and i have had my glimpse at the snakes that belly the internet as well.

my opinion is that online, you really can nurture your mind, emotions and mental needs and discover things about yourself that might not become so clear otherwise.

i hope during my online exchanges, my friends and my special One find me to be giving, understanding and loyal. There are people that come online to experience D/s, just for the 'get off' factor as i call it. It is completely an arousal tool for them and they log off and go about their daily routines. There are people that are very committed to the relationships they have, exchange information, share ideas, fears and frustrations.. i suppose it is all about personal choices and needs.

i hope your online experience will continue to be a good one.

*hugs*

basquers

what a wonderful post!! Thanks for adding your thoughts and experiences here. You have shown that online can work, if one finds a special person that is in it for the same things... not just a "get off factor" ( i love that phrase!!).

If 2 people are committed to making an online relationship work, and are honest and loyal to each other, i think it can be a beautiful thing!!

Thanks again for your post!!

sierra

 

[His_sugar]

please tart?

*gasp*


Bite yer tongue woman.

can't i just bite your tongue instead tart?

*swoons*

basquers

 

[Sex & Diamonds]

Re: please tart?

can't i just bite your tongue instead tart?

*swoons*

basquers

That's a different thread woman!!!


Sheeeeeeeesh.

 

[browndream72]

hello all

it seems i may just have to change my original opinion...since i have met someone who put all my bad online experiences to flight. I guess it really is a question of honesty and integrity and how far each person is willing to go for the other...so for all of you with the guts enough to write what you have experienced and thought...and for the one who started this thread...thanx!!

 

[SierraMoon]

Re: hello all

it seems i may just have to change my original opinion...since i have met someone who put all my bad online experiences to flight. I guess it really is a question of honesty and integrity and how far each person is willing to go for the other...so for all of you with the guts enough to write what you have experienced and thought...and for the one who started this thread...thanx!!

Congrats browndream!! Enjoy your experience!!

 

[skye in silk]

Re: hello all

it seems i may just have to change my original opinion...since i have met someone who put all my bad online experiences to flight. I guess it really is a question of honesty and integrity and how far each person is willing to go for the other...so for all of you with the guts enough to write what you have experienced and thought...and for the one who started this thread...thanx!!

you are welcome browndream. i am floored by the feedback actually. hanging low and lurking again, while the flame wars rage. lol.

wishing you only the best in your journey.

Skye

 

[edwyr]

how to?

I have visited many places of the span of some time. With the images I have in my head, just how do you proceeded to type the emotions to another? How do you maintain a long-distance D/s relationship?

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: how to?

I have visited many places of the span of some time. With the images I have in my head, just how do you proceeded to type the emotions to another? How do you maintain a long-distance D/s relationship?

There is some excellent advice in the Library thread, just check above.

I guess, other than that, the main word is COMMUNICATION. Two way communication, honesty, and trust is necessary for a succesful LDR.

Good luck, and welcome to the Forum, I hope you will post often.

Ebony

 

[HzDomme]

Adding my two cents (which is probably exactly what it is worth)

Having met my husband on-line many years ago (and being totally happy with him and the way things are) I have to add a caution....

Online is not anywhere close to being "real" until you meet, face to face, with the person you are talking to. It is like the difference between reading a book and watching a movie. You put your own spin on things until you see it portrayed otherwise.

Maybe that picture that was sent to you IS the person you are talking to but it is sure to be the best picture they can find.

I do a little pot, am a little heavy, am a little in debt, etc... can mean totally different things to the two of you.

Your and their bad habits and idiosyncrasies don't annoy because they haven't had a chance to be demonstrated yet.

Please, never, think that an online relationship is totally real until you have met in person and spent time together.

Be ready for a disappointment and be overjoyed if that disappointment never comes.

 

[browndream72]

too true

hzdomme...no one could put it better than you did...it is true that on line and real life are two completely different things...and some people have an annoying habit of getting the 2 twisted but then again..as you so obviously found out for yourself...when it is right and it works...damn it is beautiful...so thanx for the wise words....and enjoy the beauty you get to experience on a daily...if it were me...i would by the way...hello all....how was your holiday....and are you ready for new years'????

 

[catalina_francisco]

Bump of an old and interesting discussion which some may like to contribute more to or just read.

Catalina

 

[dislowner77]

Hey Now

deleted

 

[ShyVixen]

Thank you for the bump, Cat.

I found this thread very intriguing, reading about other people's experiences and online vrs RL.

 

[GentleSub_Ivy]

Glad this was bumped. Thanks Cat. I agree with a lot of the posters that online D/s is great for newbies to learn about themselves especially if like me R/l just isn't a possibility right now.

Ivy

 

[sexycaz22]

An interesting thread

I am an online submissive, and have been one for a few years now. Although, I have not maintained a good long-term online D/s relationship as at the time of "coming out" as a submissive online, I was very very new and very shy, and therefore were not a LOYAL submissive and for that I am very ashamed and I wish I could turn time back to learn to be a better online submissive.

Truly, in my heart, I know I am a submissive and I love having chats about experiences etc with a Dom, but I am yearning for that meaningful D/s relationship either online or in real life, of which the latter, I am considering to take a step out into the BDSM community but for a couple of reason, I am scared.

Currently, I have a good growing friendship with a Master from a chat program I have joined and I hope to learn more from Him, although He is not training me, I am hoping to ask Him if I could be His submissive. But I am taking my time and learn from His experiences and to share my experiences with Him.

As for online D/s relationships, I have taken part in a couple, for a few months and I have enjoyed myself as I have learnt about my limits and the online Master(s) were very patient and really nice, and were very loving and caring. One particular online Master were my favourite and sadly I have lost touch with Him. Perhaps one day, I will hear from Him, but who knows?

So, yes, I do believe that it can be POSSIBLE to maintain a good online D/s relationship, provided that BOTH parties are willing to be committed and have time to maintain an ongoing online relationship, I wish I have came across this BDSM board before now so that I could have been a better online submissive for my favourite online Master.

 

[Hummingbyrd]

Mistress and I do alot of this, either through voice chat or via telephone as we are in a LDR and there is too much time between visits! It's the next best thing to being there. Cyber also works though not quite as well long-term. Webcams, and digital cameras are great tools as well.

The only thing I would stress is that one makes themselves aware of the risks and safety aspects of the activities they plan on carrying out at the request of another, who cannot help you if things go wrong. I have seen people ask for and command things that could be very unsafe. Don't assume they are experts and will take care of you - even if they are experts, if the activity is dicey, there's not much they can do to help should the worst happen. (Of course many may not actually follow, or expect you to actually carry out, instructions and are once again interested in the erotic aspect of pretending, in which case it doesn't matter... but you should both be on the same page!)

I'm also brand new to the lifestyle and the Dom I've been playing with online with intent to move things into real life is very careful to be sure what he has me do is safe. Somehow I doubt that always happens in strictly cyber relationships. I loved that I was able to express my concern before accepting the assignment and we decided together that this was something I should not do alone -- but I can't wait til we get to do it together!!! (Involved going into the woods at night)

 

[ecstaticsub]

I wonder how many relationships really remain as just on-line? I met my Dom on a on-line forum but we went to phone within the first week.

I think there are so many different kinds of on-line relationships they can not be grouped together under one heading. There are those that always remain anonymous and on-line even if the people live in the same city. There are those who every conversation is a mini-scene, there are those who meet on-line but quickly move on to being more of a long distance relationship.

I can only speak of my own relationship. Like I said it started out as someone I saw on a non-BDSM on-line forum. After teasing and joking around on the forum we finally went to IMing. Over the course of many conversations both sexual and non-sexual he brought out the submissive part of me that I never really revealed to anyone (including my husband) I also found out he was an experienced Dom.

Because I am better able to stay on topic, better able to word my thoughts and desires, and better able to have the courage to ask certain questions through the written word as opposed to the spoken word having IM as a medium works perfectly. Even two years later when I have an issue or something serious to discuss I write him an email instead of discussing it over the phone. It is not his favorite way of communicating (and I know those very rare long emails sometimes drive him a little nuts) but it is the best way for me to think things out, and in the long run I know he is thankful I have a comfortable way to communicate.

For us since we are both in vanilla marriages the on-line medium and long distance aspects keep things in balance.

I do believe however if we were not able to get together in real life every once in a while as we do the relationship (for us) would not last. It would get way too frustrating.

So to answer the question--I don't know if Iwould consider my relation on-line D/s. It may have started that way but it is now so much more. We spend so many hours on the phone just talking about life, children, grandchildren, everyday life sorts of things along with the D/s aspects. Being on-line has just made it easier and the internet enabled us to meet.