Porn pet peeves!

I have a few.

One, bad breast implants. That category comprises 90% of implants, but occasionally I see some that are proportional to the body and look almost real. But most of the time I am totally out when I see breasts that look like solid rocks and defy gravity.

Two, non-existent age discrepancies. I'm referring to any situation where a supposedly mature woman is in a scene with a younger males or female-- mother/son, mother/daughter, cougar/cub, etc., and she doesn't look any older than her partner. If I look at them and cannot tell who is older, then I am moving on.

Three, is from my wife. She doesn't watch much porn, but she does look at pics. Mostly amateur pics. She gets riled up when the room is a mess. Pick up your damn house if you are having guests over!
 
I need these things for porn to be worth watching and to get me aroused:

Good acting.

Actors that seem to enjoy having sex and like who they are having sex with. (Don't make it look so obvious that you are being paid to have sex on camera.) See India Summer, Nina Hartley, Kay Parker, Raven (from the Taboo series) etc..

Seduction.

Some storyline BEFORE the sex. (I don't need the whole story but some clue as to how these people are together and why they want to be sexual with the other person(s).

The women to not look like street whores. No caked on make-up; No long fake eyelashes; No puffy lips; No slut clothes (unless the scene warrants it but it rarely does).

No "porn house furniture" (i.e. Yellow leather sofa and an orange chair). Make it look like someone's house I would go to. Not a porn movie set.

Girls who act their age (not half of it) and seem to have some working brain-cells between their ears.

Dialog that continues after the sex starts. (I want to hear the woman say she likes her ass licked or ask to have it licked, that way it's less obvious that it's staged.)

No constant moaning in sexual bliss with their mouths hanging open - for seemingly no real reason other than to remind us that they are having sex. (See #1)

No music over the sex, unless it's ambient music IN THE SCENE, like a stereo system playing mood music in a living room or bedroom.

If there has to be fake tits, at least let them look real. Bad examples: Deauxma, Nina Hartley (who is a great porn actress but she has to be sorry she had her tits done. They are awful.)

Unexpected sex. I don't need to know who is going to be fucking who inside of 15 seconds. Let me be aroused by the story and seduction. (see #4, above)

Don't make a woman do something she obviously would rather not. (If she looks like she is only taking a cum shot to he face because the director told her to, it ruins the entire mood. Quickly.)
 
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To follow up here...

I have a few.

Three, is from my wife. She doesn't watch much porn, but she does look at pics. Mostly amateur pics. She gets riled up when the room is a mess. Pick up your damn house if you are having guests over!

Pimples and zits and other sorts of sores on their asses... Good hygiene is important if you are exposing your nether regions....

Please...
 
I am not a fan of fake boobs, especially the ridiculously large ones.
Yeah, I get why the women do it. I think natural boobs look so much better.

Katy

Bless natural boobs. Fake is an instant turn off.
 
I don’t know if these are still even made. But I remember those professionally shot “Watching the wife getting fucked” type series. The producer/host interviews a supposed married couple. Then another man is introduced. Then the husband watches as this guy screws his wife. This is an amazing premise. But it’s obvious the couple isn’t really married. He’s an older guy pushing middle age while it’s blatantly obvious she’s a porn star! As is the other guy.

I would have much preferred finding a real couple. Where the husband has the fetish/desire of seeing his wife with other men!

Right. And the same for father/daughter, mother/son, etc.
 
I have a few.

One, bad breast implants. That category comprises 90% of implants, but occasionally I see some that are proportional to the body and look almost real. But most of the time I am totally out when I see breasts that look like solid rocks and defy gravity.

Two, non-existent age discrepancies. I'm referring to any situation where a supposedly mature woman is in a scene with a younger males or female-- mother/son, mother/daughter, cougar/cub, etc., and she doesn't look any older than her partner. If I look at them and cannot tell who is older, then I am moving on.

Three, is from my wife. She doesn't watch much porn, but she does look at pics. Mostly amateur pics. She gets riled up when the room is a mess. Pick up your damn house if you are having guests over!

I saw one where the woman was in doggy position. She was neither fat nor thin, but her boobs flapped back and forth. They hung down but were like long flaps of skin with long, flat nipples.
 
Please if you're going to make one, please have a little story to it. Something that is plausible.
 
Yes. Lots of wacky ones out there.

Jada it's a pleasure to see a lady that doesn't have a problem watching a Good porn occasionally. If you weren't on the other side of the country, I'd invite you over to critique some together. Nothing implied just would enjoy the company a lady that knows good porn. :rose::heart:
 
Another thing I dislike is an anal sex scene where the woman is clearly not enjoying it. Anal is my thing. Probably 95% of the porn I watch is anal. But it turns me off when I see a woman that is in pain and getting no enjoyment from it. They call it "painal." I call it a turnoff.
 
That would be a Pain in the Ass. Sorry couldn't resist, I'll just take my leave now.
 
Poor sound quality I like to hear what the performers are saying in the lead up to and during the sex. Also, I don’t like sloppy misdirected cum shots. The cum needs to clearly go in the mouth, pussy, tits or toes. Cum shooting over the body or up over the girls head is uninspiring.
 
I can't wrap my mind around the relatively recent popularity of P.O.V. porn
 
Tacky and excessive tattoos

This has more to do with performers struggling to get out of "teen" roles, than anything else. Tattoos usually do the trick. At the same time, it has destroyed some performer's careers. Hannah Hayes and the late Dakota Skye are perfect examples.
 
I can't wrap my mind around the relatively recent popularity of P.O.V. porn

I hate the term POV. Every camera angle is a POV. When the performer is holding the camera and showing his view, that is first person POV. There is also audience POV, overhead POV, and countless others. But for some reason POV has stuck for first person POV.
 
Please if you're going to make one, please have a little story to it. Something that is plausible.

I am not a huge fan of porn as most of it is tacky at best. My husband likes it so over the years, I have watched more than a good girl should. I think maybe the first one that I truly enjoyed was Debbie Does Dallas. There was at least a bit of a story and it was kind of fun. That in turn makes the sex more enjoyable.
 
Faceless porn. Bodies are beautiful, but if I can't see a face, I'm not interested.

I want to see the woman's face, sure. But not the guy's face. That just emphasizes the fact that it is NOT ME who is having the sex. Show me just enough of the dude so that I can pretend it is me.
 
Remembered another peeve:

You are watching a GIF or video and someone off camera is taking flash pictures of the key scene(s). Interrupts the whole train of libidinous thought....
 
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