Post your naughty limericks here!

[lemmesee]

Bill liked to play with his worm,
and doing this sure made it firm.
But rather than use it, he was wont to abuse it,
until his wife reached her full term!

 

[lemmesee]

Tillie and Millie were lovers,
usually doing it under their covers.
They used creamy lotion, as they pledged their devotion,
while secretly doing it with others!

 

[lemmesee]

Tex enjoyed his long evenings with Rex,
as they ogled each others' firm pecs.
But most of their fun, was grabbed on the run,
as they wrestled each other for sex!

 

[lemmesee]

Masturbating is usually fun,
even when it's done on the run.
The boy does his dick, as the girl does her clit,
and they rub them until they both cum!

 

[lemmesee]

Sue considered young Billy her hun,
even though he was really her son.
She would flash him a titty, or show him her kitty,
then fuck him so they both hadda cum!

 

[lemmesee]

Beth likes the size of her rack,
it helps her get guys in the sack.
But after they cum, they take off and run,
because of her lack of a bath!

 

[paulxxxessex]

The dirty old Bishop of Birmingham
Deflowered young girls whilst confirming them
As they knelt, seeking God
He excited his rod
And pumped his Episcopal sperm in`em.

Sorry, not an original but a favourite.

 

[lemmesee]

The dirty old Bishop of Birmingham
Deflowered young girls whilst confirming them
As they knelt, seeking God
He excited his rod
And pumped his Episcopal sperm in`em.

Sorry, not an original but a favourite.

This is a real gem, Paul ....thanks for posting it....

 

[lemmesee]

There was a young lady from Seuol,
who danced in those clubs with a pole.
She would slide up and down, so the men in her town,
could imagine themselves in her hole!

 

[lemmesee]

There was a young fella named Andy,
who seemed to be constantly randy.
Masturbation was fun, and it served on the run,
but his preference was a blow-job from Sandy!

 

[bogusagain]

His mission in life was to protect 'em
The miserable, the weak and the poor
So he opened his wallet and gave em a dollar
And now they make a living as whores

 

[infinity706]

Oh, Jack was a horny old runt.
He loved a hot piece of cunt.
When Jill came on along,
She rubbed his dong
And got herself a hot, lusty rut.

 

[lemmesee]

There was a young fella named Fred,
who liked to fuck girls on his bed.
He'd play with their titties, and suck on their clitties,
never telling them he'd rather do Ted!

 

[CharleyH]

The night turns to day and day into night
The witching hour puts penis in flight
The big ones are juicy
The small ones are goosy
The hard ones stir women to fight!


I thought limericks were five lines? AABBA? Am I wrong?

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

The night turns to day and day into night
The witching hour puts penis in flight
The big ones are juicy
The small ones are goosy
The hard ones stir women to fight!


I thought limericks were five lines? AABBA? Am I wrong?

No, you're right.

 

[lemmesee]

The night turns to day and day into night
The witching hour puts penis in flight
The big ones are juicy
The small ones are goosy
The hard ones stir women to fight!


I thought limericks were five lines? AABBA? Am I wrong?

Idunno....perhaps you're right....lets just say, "Post your short naughty poems here!"

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Idunno....perhaps you're right....

That's what you are doing - see?

There was a young fella named Fred, [a]
who liked to fuck girls on his bed. [a]
He'd play with their titties,
and suck on their clitties,
never telling them he'd rather do Ted! [a]

Your presentation's just different.

 

[lemmesee]

When Mom caught son Bill masturbating,
she watched him instead of berating.
With a toy off the shelf, she played with herself,
then exclaimed, "this is better than dating"!

 

[lemmesee]

That's what you are doing - see?



Your presentation's just different.

Yep....thanks

 

[lemmesee]

Young Tom had a thing for just peeking,
as his sister sat on the pot leaking.
It gave him a thrill, just watching her jill,
and he didn't consider this sneaking!

 

[Senna Jawa]

When Mom caught son Bill masturbating,
she watched him instead of berating.
With a toy off the shelf, she played with herself,
then exclaimed, "this is better than dating"!​

Nice! -- so to speak .

How come you don't care to split line 3 in two?

Litmerick is dead--long live naughty limericks!

Regards,

 

[lemmesee]

Old Sal was a tough little lass,
she always protected her ass.
When the guys would get flirty, and try to get flirty,
she just winked and stepped on the gas!

 

[Senna Jawa]

I thought limericks were five lines? AABBA? Am I wrong?

You're right, and lemmesee does everything right anyway--lms just doesn't care to break that third line in two, thus depriving our eye of the additional pleasure of visual feasting on a limerick.

 

[lemmesee]

Mike was obsessed with his Mother,
he wanted her and nobody other.
He showed her is dick, all nice, hard, and thick,
but she was in love with his brother!

 

[lemmesee]

Tom sure thought a lot of his sister,
when away he certainly missed her.
She felt the same, and whenever she came,
it was solely because he had licked her!