Post your naughty limericks here!

[lemmesee]

Bill liked to jack-off using panties,
his sister's or his Mother's Aunt Hattie's.
When they caught him one day, he had nothing to say,
but his Dad quickly offered, "Why can't he?"

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

You're right, and lemmesee does everything right anyway--lms just doesn't care to break that third line in two, thus depriving our eye of the additional pleasure of visual feasting on a limerick.

Necromancer.

 

[lemmesee]

Sue has a see-thru brassiere,
with four hooks that clasp at the rear.
They hold well-enough, for work and such stuff,
but they loosen when she is held dear!

 

[lemmesee]

Jack likes to go it alone,
whether on-line or with folks on the phone.
He strokes and he strokes, while enjoying the folks,
until semen shoots out of his bone!

 

[lemmesee]

Although he thought it was wrong,
Joe played with his sister's red thong.
He rubbed it enough, so he came in the cup,
and now he can't leave it alone!

 

[lemmesee]

Sue has a puppy named Flicker,
that she's carefully training to licker.
She can cum with her hand, or a man from the band,
but the dog brings her off a lot quicker!

 

[lemmesee]

Tom is patently crude,
he likes to watch girls in the nude.
But it has to be said, that he does think ahead,
and selects those who like to be viewed!

 

[lemmesee]

I can't have sex with my sister,
she left and I haven't even missed her.
I do think of her tits, and her sweet little bits,
but I don't recall ever having kissed her!

 

[lemmesee]

Years ago when addicted to peeps,
I would harden to them in my sleep.
I would dream of the tits, and the sweet little clits,
and semen from my penis would seep!

 

[love4softpantys]

ok a couple oldies but goodies

There once was a young man from Kent
Whose cock was so long it was Bent
and so to save trouble
he'd stick it in double
and instead of cumming, he went

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it

There once was a man from fair Eeling
Who pounded his pud with much feeling
And then like a trout
He'd stick his lips out
And wait for the drops from the Ceiling

 

[lemmesee]

David was hung like a horse,
which pleased the young ladies of course.
With a brief little laugh, they would jump on his lap,
and grin as they had inter course!

 

[lemmesee]

There was a young lady from Kent,
whose knees were usually bent.
She had a bad name, but whenever she came,
it was only to help pay the rent!

 

[lemmesee]

Bev liked to do it in chains,
with a thin rope attached to her mane.
As her fella got tuff, and pumped in her muff,
she just leaned back, and smiled, and came!

 

[lemmesee]

Mack just came back from Iraq,
and he's anxious for a fuck in the sack.
But he'd jacked-off so much, that a girl's slightest touch,
squirts his semen all over her rack!

 

[lemmesee]

Gl is proud of how far he can shoot,
but sometimes his aim can be moot.
Once he rubbed off, with a piece of soft cloth,
and delivered his stuff on his boot!

 

[lemmesee]

There was a young girl from Brazil,
who gave her boyfriend a thrill.
She removed all her clothes, then picked up a hose,
and used it as a tool to jill.

 

[lemmesee]

Beth always likes a good fuck,
but she doesn't like being in a rut.
As fast as she can, she's seeking a man,
who'll give her a fuck in the butt!

 

[lemmesee]

Beth always prefers giving head,
to doing men there on her bed.
While dribbling some, she swallows their cum,
then diddles herself to this thread!

 

[lemmesee]

All around Lit Dave did lurk,
while relieving himself with a jerk.
Not knowing he was there, the girls didn't care,
that his sperm ended up on his shirt!

 

[lemmesee]

Tom took young Jill to his loft,
where he found out her titties were soft.
He loved them and rubbed them, and took photos of them,
while refusing to give her a boff!

 

[lemmesee]

My girl-friend is quite into pee,
a fetish she does share with me.
Without having to beg, she straddles my leg,
and pees all over my knee!

 

[lemmesee]

Sue likes to ride on her bike,
and she has so since she was a tyke.
It's the hump on the seat, that feels just so neat,
when she hits the road bumps just right!

 

[lemmesee]

Jack has a lovely young spouse,
and they live in a cute little house.
But lose it he will, 'cause just for a thrill,
his sex comes by hand with a mouse!

 

[lemmesee]

Tom likes to live in New York,
where sex is a spectator sport.
For a buck and a beer, he's allowed just to leer,
while his hand takes care of his dork!

 

[lemmesee]

Ann likes to live in the North,
where summers are usually short.
But she's a smart little honey, who likes to save money,
so she swims in Band-Aids and a cork!