shy slave
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2004
- Posts
- 8,255
I have been pondering Brandii's question.
In a D/s relationship so much has to be out in the open and discussed in order for the agreed level of consensual activities to be maintained.
This is from the very beginning when conversations about what each of you are looking for in another person comes to the fore.
In my experience a vanilla relationship it begins as dating and small things in common, finding areas of a practical nature that you both have similar interest in. For example books, music, hobbies and then moving into areas of morality, viewpoints on abstract issues, family issues etc.
If you decide you want to be a submissive/slave/bottom to another person you need to know about different things to whether you like the same films or TV shows. You need to know if they have the same sexual interests and how they see their role in looking after you in both a physical and psychological sense. These are deeply personal, and underpin the whole relationship and its potential future.
As a girlfriend you may never have this depth of conversation, you may discover things along the way and these may change or enhance your wish to be with that person. But in D/s these conversations come first. You are giving that person a great deal of trust and they need to show they are up to the task of respecting that level of trust.
I always find it slightly ironic that on BDSM dating sites you can know if someone likes anal sex and bondage long before you know if they have a favourite film they like to watch.
In a D/s relationship so much has to be out in the open and discussed in order for the agreed level of consensual activities to be maintained.
This is from the very beginning when conversations about what each of you are looking for in another person comes to the fore.
In my experience a vanilla relationship it begins as dating and small things in common, finding areas of a practical nature that you both have similar interest in. For example books, music, hobbies and then moving into areas of morality, viewpoints on abstract issues, family issues etc.
If you decide you want to be a submissive/slave/bottom to another person you need to know about different things to whether you like the same films or TV shows. You need to know if they have the same sexual interests and how they see their role in looking after you in both a physical and psychological sense. These are deeply personal, and underpin the whole relationship and its potential future.
As a girlfriend you may never have this depth of conversation, you may discover things along the way and these may change or enhance your wish to be with that person. But in D/s these conversations come first. You are giving that person a great deal of trust and they need to show they are up to the task of respecting that level of trust.
I always find it slightly ironic that on BDSM dating sites you can know if someone likes anal sex and bondage long before you know if they have a favourite film they like to watch.
