Questions for submissives

[SierraMoon]

Thank you darlin', but i'm pretty sure there are a few dissenting opinions floating around somewhere nearby, you know?

Oh, yes, i know what you mean.. i'm waiting for those dissenting opinions to come and slap me upside the head... i try to not post to threads that i disagree with... because everyone has their own opinion.. but this one just got my goat... because, i have finally found my place in this world, that has finally put me at peace, and don't want anyone thinking it's just a fantasy for me, or all in my head... ya know?

 

[Never]

...and here's that pic...

That's actually very pretty.
Sorry if I seem surprised, but I am.

I also notice you have freckles. That means I must print this and play connect the dots.

 

[Lancecastor]

Huh?

Well, Lance, if you consider the difference between consentual activities and forcible abuse to be mere semantics, then I see no reason to continue debating the point with you.
I had hoped that we might come to understand our differences on these points, but clearly that is not your intent.

My point is that if Tammy enjoys "feeling like" she's being punished, that's her perogative....i.e. what goes on in her head when she's naked is not for us to be judging.

You may choose to understand my point or keep playing word games with it...but it strikes me as a fairly straightforward concept.

And I'm not sure if I can strip it down any further for you, James.

Sorry if it puts your debating shorts in a knot.

You may want to have that looked at. I understand there's a loose tube of KY floating around over there by Cym's pal....

Lance

 

[CarolineOh]

Re: Trim Those Split Ends!

Discipline can most certainly equate to punishment....especially if Tammy wants it to.

It's also totally okay for Tammy to want to play out the fantasy of being punished as the scene by which she engages in BDSM.

And it certainly doesn't mean she is not honouring her relationship if she does so.

I don't see anything confusing about what she has said.

Tammy's ideas are as valid as anyone else's....this isn't and shouldn't be a "My way or the highway" place by any stretch of the imagination.

Rock on, Tammy!
Lance

Oh, here we go again.
You aren't worth my time, Lance. Go on and try to twist things I say into some ridiculous knot, I can't be bothered with you. So many people here have been so kind and supportive to me, I se no need to focus any effort on defending myself from the ridiculous game playing of the sole jackass.

 

[Lancecastor]

Re: Re: Trim Those Split Ends!

Oh, here we go again.
You aren't worth my time, Lance. Go on and try to twist things I say into some ridiculous knot, I can't be bothered with you. So many people here have been so kind and supportive to me, I se no need to focus any effort on defending myself from the ridiculous game playing of the sole jackass.

I neither expected nor asked you to "defend" yourself, Caroline...nor to call me a jackass.

As I said to James in the post above your head...I think Tammy can view her discipline fetish her fantasies as "punishment" if she wants to....can't she?

Your knots are yours and you are welcome to them...hey; perhaps you and James could share knicker-knot secrets, as he seems to find my views in this thread frustrating as well. ;-)

I really don't understand why you feel the need to resort to the name calling....again.

Is this the way it gets whenever someone doesn't agree with your views?

If so, I suggest that in the future, if you find yourself feeling the need to call me names after reading my opinions that you refrain from doing so.... and simply not post about me.

Because, darling.....if you post something I have an alternative view about...I'm going to express it.

And if you call me names....well, I'll likely respond to that as well.

And it seems to me that whenever you say rude things and how you're not going to have anything to do with me....it's you that's tying your own knots in your own panties, my duck.

Personally, I think you enjoy it.

Whatever works for you....who am I to judge?

Again...if Tammy wants to think of BDSM as "fantasy" or "punishment"....who says you or anyone should be correcting, de-confusing , or explaining the "truth " to her?

How about this:

To Me, BDSM is a beautiful eight foot silvery salmon in a river, with a cute brunette riding its back, smiling and waving at me as she giggles in glee.

G'head...tell me I'm wrong.

You're a hoot;
Lance

 

[SierraMoon]

of course Tammy is entitled to her 'opinion' and can call whatever she does, what she wants.... but she went a bit further when she generalized "BDSM is a fantasy, folks".... meaning that that's the way we should all perceive it... and giving the impression that if we perceive it any other way, that it is wrong.... THAT is my point.... she should not be saying things like that in here, where alot of newcomers to BDSM will read it, and think that if they don't consider it fantasy to them, that something must be wrong with them......
JMO

 

[Lancecastor]

Your point of view is valid.....

of course Tammy is entitled to her 'opinion' and can call whatever she does, what she wants.... but she went a bit further when she generalized "BDSM is a fantasy, folks".... meaning that that's the way we should all perceive it... and giving the impression that if we perceive it any other way, that it is wrong.... THAT is my point.... she should not be saying things like that in here, where alot of newcomers to BDSM will read it, and think that if they don't consider it fantasy to them, that something must be wrong with them......
JMO

....as is hers.

It sounds like as far as she's concerned it's all about the fantasy elements.....and you are at a different place with bdsm in your journey.

People tend to wish/ think that their views ought to be universal....and I think that's where disagreements are born.

Perhaps Tammy believes what she said as you interpreted it.

And you seem to have your own beliefs that others share and others likely don't.

Me....I think that people invest a little too much emotion in their opposing views here sometimes.

But that's just me.

Cheers;
L

 

[SierraMoon]

Re: Your point of view is valid.....

Me....I think that people invest a little too much emotion in their opposing views here sometimes.

But that's just me.

Cheers;
L

i'm showing emotion here, because it has taken me a long time to get where i am now... alot of learning: learning what BDSM is all about, learning to trust someone with my life, learning to be tolerant of people who think what i do in my private life is crazy...
i have a hard time just passing by a comment that is made that makes my hard work over the past year seem unimportant or a "fantasy".....
i'm done with this thread... i will not defend my perceptions anymore.....

 

[cymbidia]

Re: Re: Your point of view is valid.....

i'm done with this thread... i will not defend my perceptions anymore.....

Darlin', think of Lance as someone who likes poking and prodding for reaction just cuz that's what makes him smile.

State your views clearly. Don't be drawn into anything that upsets you just cuz he (or anyone) is poking at you. If you do find yourself in more deeply then you like, simply bow out.

Anyone else think there's a striking similarity between Lance and Sparky with regard to a propensity toward shit-stirring? (I didn't originate that thought, by the way, i stole it from someone else. I *wish* i'd originated it but alas, i did not. Wish i could give credit to the author, too, but it was a pm convo.)

 

[lilredwolph]

hmmmm....

fantasy vs. reality (and my veiw of the 2)

fantasy is something lived in your mind, something you hope for, wish for, may/maynot want to happen

reality happened yesterday or to minutes ago

so once you live out your fantasy doesn't it stop being fantasy and become reality?

so are we talking about fantasy or reality? if it's fantasy then hell i want to be smacked in the head with a 2 X 4 but if it's reality i'll take the rose wood paddle on my fanny

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Ok you people make it hard not to respond (said with all the love and admiration I have for everyone on this board...just so you know)

I've noticed that we tend to be very quick to jump on each other here. Now I know I'm very new to BDSM and this board, but I feel comfortable here, and these are my opinions. I do respect everyone's right to their opinion.

When I answered this thread originally it was to answer specific questions posed. I don't ask the person making inquiries about their reasons for asking, as I feel this place is for learning. I answer to the very best of my limited knowledge and real life experience. That's it.

However, I must say looking over this and other threads like it, that with our questioning of people's motives for their questions we tend to send them away more confused or possibly even angry than they were to begin with. Debates are great, don't get me wrong, but they have a place too.......in my opinion. Talking about this posters feelings or any other posters feelings or thoughts is something I will never do. I don't know what they are thinking, and in a written word community like we have here, there is no way to tell the tone of voice someone is speaking in.

Oh hell, I'm on my soapbox......stepping off here. I'm not attacking anyone in this thread, just stating my thoughts, feelings and reactions. I've also noticed that the thread starter hasn't returned since the debate over her feelings started....just an observation.

Be safe, sane and consentual folks......its the only way.


dixi

 

[Lancecastor]

Now I'm feeling Emotional, too...

Darlin', think of Lance as someone who likes poking and prodding for reaction just cuz that's what makes him smile.

State your views clearly. Don't be drawn into anything that upsets you just cuz he (or anyone) is poking at you. If you do find yourself in more deeply then you like, simply bow out.

Anyone else think there's a striking similarity between Lance and Sparky with regard to a propensity toward shit-stirring? (I didn't originate that thought, by the way, i stole it from someone else. I *wish* i'd originated it but alas, i did not. Wish i could give credit to the author, too, but it was a pm convo.)

I'm feeling emotional now, too.....

From The Sticky:

"In this forum, our focus is on BDSM sexuality as it’s played out in real life, skin-to-skin relationships.

(edit)

We want you to feel free, however, to express your fears and voice your concerns in an open way.

This is a supportive and caring environment for your real-world based BDSM issues.

We're not psychatrists, though, or therapists; if you need one of those, you'll have to find them elsewhere. "

~~~~~~~~~

My concern...and increasingly, my fear... is that these threads are filled with the fantasy natterings and games of people who probably have no business discussing real life BDSM.

I have no intention of baby-sitting the low self-esteemed or pretenders....or being their whipping post, thanks.

I am here to engage in real discussion, debate and to enhance my wisdom in the process.

I prefer to do so in an atmosphere of collegial rapport and witty repartee, with some banter amongst those who understand the form.

I do not wish to face a litany of name calling and sulking in repeated cycles from people who for all I know need professional help....god knows the symptoms are certainly present.

Read the sticky.

This is not BDSM Therapy 101.

And I'm certainly not about to feel good or have fun or get a chuckle out of the Moderators calling me names, either.

Literotica indeed.

Boo Hoo;

Lance "You Want Emotions?" Castor

 

[monster666]

A blanket statement was made that BDSM is fantasy. Well, it's not for many. A statement was made that discipline and punishment equate. As the definition of one overlaps the other, but is not entirely contained within the other, they therefore do not equate. But since definitions do overlap, it's understandable the two could be confused.

Some things are just not about perception. They are what they are.

This board is full of people experienced in BDSM. Thinking people who understand what a nuance is. They understand what pitfall thinking is. And they understand all too well what it is to be misunderstood.

So, why, when every time an attempt is made to clarify a point about a post (which is generally done in an attempt to pass along knowledge) the reply is taken as a personal affront is beyond me. And if a reply is perhaps made with a little excess passion, I'd hope that some lattitude was granted because of the knowledge that the reply is often coming from good experience, and is not just an attempt to knock a newbie. In fact, I wish half the lattitude was given the regulars here that is expected for the newcomers by other regulars. Perhaps in the midst of their overzealousness, they might actually have some good thoughts on things.

 

[MzChrista]

Lanciepants, you snivelling again. You take after C Oh every chance you get and when she dont kiss your ass to try to spin that shes the one starting shit. Funny how she can get along with everybody but you.
Dude, people see through you like Casper the ghost.
Im the one told you Blow Me, not her, why dont you bring some of that shit my way. Im locked and loaded.

 

[monster666]

ROTFL!!!

MzChrista, I don't know if people kiss your ass because they are afraid of what you'll do if they don't, or because they just plain love ya.

Lanciepants, you snivelling again. You take after C Oh every chance you get and when she dont kiss your ass to try to spin that shes the one starting shit. Funny how she can get along with everybody but you.
Dude, people see through you like Casper the ghost.
Im the one told you Blow Me, not her, why dont you bring some of that shit my way. Im locked and loaded.

 

[Lancecastor]

Well and nicely put....

A blanket statement was made that BDSM is fantasy. Well, it's not for many. A statement was made that discipline and punishment equate. As the definition of one overlaps the other, but is not entirely contained within the other, they therefore do not equate. But since definitions do overlap, it's understandable the two could be confused.

Some things are just not about perception. They are what they are.

This board is full of people experienced in BDSM. Thinking people who understand what a nuance is. They understand what pitfall thinking is. And they understand all too well what it is to be misunderstood.

So, why, when every time an attempt is made to clarify a point about a post (which is generally done in an attempt to pass along knowledge) the reply is taken as a personal affront is beyond me. And if a reply is perhaps made with a little excess passion, I'd hope that some lattitude was granted because of the knowledge that the reply is often coming from good experience, and is not just an attempt to knock a newbie. In fact, I wish half the lattitude was given the regulars here that is expected for the newcomers by other regulars. Perhaps in the midst of their overzealousness, they might actually have some good thoughts on things.

....I couldn't agree more.

Lance

 

[MzChrista]

Re: Well and nicely put....

....I couldn't agree more.

Lance

See, now you gonna tell everybody you agree with them so it looks like C Oh is odd girl out.
See clean through ya dude.

 

[Lancecastor]

As much as...

Lanciepants, you snivelling again. You take after C Oh every chance you get and when she dont kiss your ass to try to spin that shes the one starting shit. Funny how she can get along with everybody but you.
Dude, people see through you like Casper the ghost.
Im the one told you Blow Me, not her, why dont you bring some of that shit my way. Im locked and loaded.

...the thought of COh...or at least her AV...kissing my ass is a pleasant thought, the absence of same as a reality will pass in time as one of life's little disappointments.

If she has a beef with me, she should bring it to me directly.

~~~~~~~~

Your invitation, MzChrista, is a bit like one of those "When did you stop beating your wife?" jokes...isn't it?

If I respond to your mean-mouthing me, another stone gets added to the rep already being cultivated for me in PM's behind my back with Cym comparing me to someone named Sparky.

If I pass, you get to crow some more for the femmes.

Either way, I lose and look like a jerk.

So, let's cut to the chase, shall we?

You're really cool with the ladies here.

I'm not.

There. Wasn't that easy? Feel good?

~~~~~~~~~

Now...has anybody wondered whether the thread starter is possibly a schill?

And to what end?

*There's* something worth discussing.

Lance

 

[MzChrista]

Re: As much as...

...the thought of COh...or at least her AV...kissing my ass is a pleasant thought, the absence of same as a reality will pass in time as one of life's little disappointments.

If she has a beef with me, she should bring it to me directly.

~~~~~~~~

Your invitation, MzChrista, is a bit like one of those "When did you stop beating your wife?" jokes...isn't it?

If I respond to your mean-mouthing me, another stone gets added to the rep already being cultivated for me in PM's behind my back with Cym comparing me to someone named Sparky.

If I pass, you get to crow some more for the femmes.

Either way, I lose and look like a jerk.

So, let's cut to the chase, shall we?

You're really cool with the ladies here.

I'm not.

There. Wasn't that easy? Feel good?

~~~~~~~~~

Now...has anybody wondered whether the thread starter is possibly a schill?

And to what end?

*There's* something worth discussing.

Lance

You one of them black helicopter making circles in your corn field nuts or something?

 

[cymbidia]

Re: Now I'm feeling Emotional, too...

<snip>
My concern...and increasingly, my fear... is that these threads are filled with the fantasy natterings and games of people who probably have no business discussing real life BDSM.

I have no intention of baby-sitting the low self-esteemed or pretenders....or being their whipping post, thanks.

I am here to engage in real discussion, debate and to enhance my wisdom in the process.
<snip>
I do not wish to face a litany of name calling and sulking in repeated cycles from people who for all I know need professional help....god knows the symptoms are certainly present.

I'm not at all sure whether you're directing these remarks toward me, Lance, but since you quoted me at the top of this post, i'd like to reply with this...

Do you know who Sparky is/was to the Lit GB population at large?

He was/is a wonderfully well known, loved/hated curmudgeonly sort of man. He was/is irascible and prone to kicking crap around just to see what people would do if it landed someplace close to them. He was a shit-stirrer, Lance, just like you, but he wasn't dumb and he wasn't one-dimensional and wasn't without some redeeming qualities - just like you.

So if you thought i was calling you names, well, better back that truck up, dude. I was comparing you to someone many of us recognize and have some fondness for. And, like it or not, the comparison is apt and honest. That may be calling you names in your book but it wasn't my intention to hurt you with it. It was only to help some others get a better handle on who you are and why you're so fond of creating such drama wherever you go via someone they already know - and know how to take.

And Lance?
You do stir shit.
You are a drama queen.
You thrive on uproar.

You're a Sparky.
Hmmm. Maybe you're the Sparky. After all, he's been missing awhile. Maybe it's him, reincarnated just for the BDSM board...

 

[Lancecastor]

Please....don't let the facts...

You one of them black helicopter making circles in your corn field nuts or something?

....get in the way of your riffin'.

Enjoy;
Lance

 

[MzChrista]

Uhoh now we got competing conspiracy theories.

 

[MzChrista]

Re: Please....don't let the facts...

....get in the way of your riffin'.

Enjoy;
Lance

FACT is, C Oh wasnt even talkin to you, and you took off after her and now you want to know why she got a problem with you.
I dont know if she got one or not, but I do. You shit on my friends you shit on me.

 

[Lancecastor]

Oh...

I'm not at all sure whether you're directing these remarks toward me, Lance, but since you quoted me at the top of this post, i'd like to reply with this...

Do you know who Sparky is/was to the Lit GB population at large?

He was/is a wonderfully well known, loved/hated curmudgeonly sort of man. He was/is irascible and prone to kicking crap around just to see what people would do if it landed someplace close to them. He was a shit-stirrer, Lance, just like you, but he wasn't dumb and he wasn't one-dimensional and wasn't without some redeeming qualities - just like you.

So if you thought i was calling you names, well, better back that truck up, dude. I was comparing you to someone many of us recognize and have some fondness for. And, like it or not, the comparison is apt and honest. That may be calling you names in your book but it wasn't my intention to hurt you with it. It was only to help some others get a better handle on who you are and why you're so fond of creating such drama wherever you go via someone they already know - and know how to take.

And Lance?
You do stir shit.
You are a drama queen.
You thrive on uproar.

You're a Sparky.
Hmmm. Maybe you're the Sparky. After all, he's been missing awhile. Maybe it's him, reincarnated just for the BDSM board...

...so the Sparky thing is a good thing?

Oh, okay....just a minute...I have an order of weapons-grade vitriol to send back to the word foundry....

Thanks for the clarification.

I was feeling a bit repressed there.

Hey.....So does that mean that the things MzChrista and COh are saying are actually compliments, too?

Remember, I am a man....you estrogen-based units is tricky.

Lance

 

[cymbidia]

Re: As much as...

If I respond to your mean-mouthing me, another stone gets added to the rep already being cultivated for me in PM's behind my back with Cym comparing me to someone named Sparky.

Oh Lance honey!
You're so good with the way you string words together!

Just look at what you've got cooking that one sentence:
1. MzChrista is "mean-mouthing" you.
2. I'm really busy cultivating some kinda bad rep toward you via pm's.



Passive-aggressive people: they're not just in your "real life" life anymore.