Rate Your VD

[Guest]

Reminds me of Newman and Baddiel sketch where Newman goes round to his mums, stays in his old bedroom, has a wank, gets really into it, almost passes out, and then finds a cup of tea by his bed.

Aw, Joe. You make me miss my elder son who moved to Arizona a few weeks ago. Will have to get my rabbit to start drinking tea.

 

[shereads]

Aw, Joe. You make me miss my elder son who moved to Arizona a few weeks ago. Will have to get my rabbit to start drinking tea.

He may drink it, but he'll never learn to serve it properly. I tried and tried that with my rabbit before I gave up and got an English Cocker Spaniel.

 

[NoJo]

As I'm drunk, I'll list my pets, in order:

Cat: Female, black and white thing. Four kittens
Tortoise: Sprinted off one day.
Bitch: Corgi/Cairn crossbreed: Eight puppies in two litters
Cat: Male.
Rabbit: Bit me a lot. Died
Grass Snake
Tree frog
Tortoise: went off to see the world.
Hamsters: five , all died in gruesome ways
Dog: Bitch: Four puppies
Cats: Three, waifs and strays

Currently, Kids: Two, both male, not spayed.
Two Goldfish, one dead.

 

[Guest]

Damn Dude, Have a pint for me.

Cheers!

J

 

[SlickTony]

Hamsters: five , all died in gruesome ways

I don't wonder, as seriously outnumbered as they were by all the dogs and cats and snakes.

 

[shereads]

As I'm drunk, I'll list my pets, in order:

Cat: Female, black and white thing. Four kittens
Tortoise: Sprinted off one day.
Bitch: Corgi/Cairn crossbreed: Eight puppies in two litters
Cat: Male.
Rabbit: Bit me a lot. Died
Grass Snake
Tree frog
Tortoise: went off to see the world.
Hamsters: five , all died in gruesome ways
Dog: Bitch: Four puppies
Cats: Three, waifs and strays

Currently, Kids: Two, both male, not spayed.
Two Goldfish, one dead.

How do you keep your pets in such strict order? I can barely manage one dog.

BTW, your porn star name (as opposed to your normal name, Sub Joe) is the name of your first childhood pet, plus the name of a street where you lived as a child. You can default to a later street address if you come up with "Spike First Avenue."

I'm your co-star, Petie Kumquat. Delighted to meet you, Mister.....?

 

[minsue]

laughing so unbelievably hard, sher.

- Bambi Southern

 

[shereads]

I don't wonder, as seriously outnumbered as they were by all the dogs and cats and snakes.

My idea of Hell is to return to life as a child's pet hamster. The poor things are the perfect size to be carried around for hours in a kid's sweaty little fist with just the head poking out, wide-eyed, clearly trying to signal "For the love of god, kill me and get it over with."

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Goldie Tanglewood

~lucky

 

[destinie21]

Fefe Larue

 

[shereads]

laughing so unbelievably hard, sher.

- Bambi Southern

Bambi, Goldie and Fifi, porn names seemed like an excellent topic for a thread, so kindly check in at the Casting Office of Lit Flicks Productions.

It's lovely to meet you.

 

[NoJo]

Koshka Finchley.

 

[SlickTony]

The poor things are the perfect size to be carried around for hours in a kid's sweaty little fist

I hadn't thought of that angle. That's probably even worse than being eaten by a cat.

 

[destinie21]

My idea of Hell is to return to life as a child's pet hamster. The poor things are the perfect size to be carried around for hours in a kid's sweaty little fist with just the head poking out, wide-eyed, clearly trying to signal "For the love of god, kill me and get it over with."

this made me laugh and laugh and laugh
guess it goes to state of mine