Recognition for New Poets

[My Erotic Tale]

cute

Du Lac, my darling! Thank you!

I think you missed a few lines

Why must I go for hours
And sometimes days
Without being touched?
Then it seems the fondling
Never stops.

Hot, cold, and other times
Warm, sticky, greasy or grimy,
Feeling abused
And sometimes used
By these hands.

It’s haunting.

Sliding up and down
My shaft,
Never knowing
If it’s going to be
Gentle, rough,
Fast or slow.

I don't like it aggressive,
And I don't need to be
Replaced
Because I kind of like
My place,
But please be careful with me
As I take a few days rest.


I need to put a sign up that says,
"Give the handrail a break!"

It's the life of a handrail. Too bad they can't speak, eh? LMAO!!

well aint that cute~
witty..hehehe

handrail lament~

 

[Du Lac]

he he he.. Christina

HA! Well we all know where my mind is at!!! I missed the last line there. so clever dear one.. loved it. Christina will you do me a favor.. please.... take a look at the poem I posted in Edge of the day called The Priestess of the Fallen Oaks for me.. Eve is doing it also... it is my first poem.. but I just can not get it right and it is hard.. because each time I change it ... it seems to get worse.. HELP... If you can.. thank you..and anyone else that would be great..
blessings
Du Lac
PS.. darn you have a clever mind darling.. I am still laughing over that one!

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

In the gutter? Muahaha

A fun place to be.

Me go check on your poem. Is it posted in the forum or in your profile? Or whatever you call it? Argh

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

Du Lac, you should put a link in your profile....so I can get to your poems. Art will teach you, right, Art? This is too confusing to me yet. Um..well...I'm a little lazy too. Shh

Chris

 

[Du Lac]

lol.. Chris..

Hey Chris..
The forum has the first poem post edge of the day.. you posted on it before.. that has the poem.. there is a link to my poem page.. with is my web page on the profile.. ladylorrainedulacblogspot.com.. or something like that.. it has pages of my poems.(all clean lol) and my stories are still pending.. although still learning about writing erotica.. if you have any questions let me know darling..
Du Lac

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

My poem

"It Feels Fuzzy"

Curled up on my side
Lying on the sofa,
Watching Forrest Gump,
She has her head
Resting on my hip.

I feel her touching
My leg,
Nails scratching
Continuously,
Rubbing
Up and down
My knee
To lower ankle.

"It feels fuzzy"

"I know, honey. Mommy needs a shave"

This poem is up today but doesn't have the same as I wrote here. This is the edited one. I hope I did it right by resending the poem back with the same title looking like this : It Feels Fuzzy-EDITED

I did this shortly after I sent it through, but I'm wondering why it didn't post as fast. It was within 5 mins. There is a little more detail here (not much) but I think it's important. If anyone thinks I sent this in wrong, please let me know. Thanks, Chris

 

[My Erotic Tail]

poems

eve is my hero~

came home beat and tired...
and she did an extraordinary review for the
new poems list...take her advice and read them...
Thats where I'm headed...after the rain closet

Art~

 

[postobitum]

Chris - I love the edited one! lol, very few poems ever really address the truly simple and universal things in life like needing a shave. Good job

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

Chris - I love the edited one! lol, very few poems ever really address the truly simple and universal things in life like needing a shave. Good job

Thank you!

 

[postobitum]

Re: poem lesson101

pictue window :by postobitum

I hope I spelt the name right if not Ill change...

but this poem is way cool...
first some one needs to ask posto...what kind
of poem it is...is it Haiku type cause its out a number
syllable different...BUT

the poems of what a window see'
well that what I got out of it...any other views?
class...CLASS...listen up!!!...hehehe homework!

Yeah, you got the name right (and for all who are wondering, I got the name out of the back of the dictionary, where the foreign phrases are, and it is latin for After Death. Wanted a name that no one else had!)
Thank you so much for the mention! It is supposed to be a Haiku - did I get the syllable count wrong?? I thought haikus are supposed to be 5-7-5...let me know somebody!

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

Orginally posted by postobitum
___________________________

Yeah, you got the name right (and for all who are wondering, I got the name out of the back of the dictionary, where the foreign phrases are, and it is latin for After Death. Wanted a name that no one else had!)
Thank you so much for the mention! It is supposed to be a Haiku - did I get the syllable count wrong?? I thought haikus are supposed to be 5-7-5...let me know somebody!
_____________________________

Yuppers! You got the count right. It's 5, 7, 5. I just went and read. Gave you a nice vote
It was done very well, sweets! Nice work!!

 

[postobitum]

Woo-hoo! I have like three or four poems that are just STAGNATING on 9 friggin votes. 9 friggin votes!!!! Not trying to get people to vote just to shut me up or anything, well, maybe I am, but the point is that is sooooo frustrating. Sorry for the ranting!!

Thank you, my dear, for your kind praise! lol

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

Great! Now, get your ass rating mine
Be honest, I'm a tough cookie!

 

[postobitum]

Hey! I may not be super on time rating girl but I get in there and rate everyones! I just dont always have time to leave feedback. Two year old running out causing havoc doesnt always leave me the time I want. Course that's not a valid excuse when she's in bed...which is where I'm about to head, but hell, I'll try.

 

[jthserra]

Re: Re: poem lesson101

It is supposed to be a Haiku - did I get the syllable count wrong?? I thought haikus are supposed to be 5-7-5...let me know somebody!

At the risk of stirring something up again... English language Haiku can be 5-7-5, but much of it is written much shorter. The reason for this is that Japanese Haiku is predominately written using 5-7-5 onji. An onji is very roughly equivalent to the English syllable, except as a unit of speech it is much shorter than the English syllable.

In other words the syllable for the English word "lake" actually could be 2 or 3 onji long. Most of the published and respected English language haiku now is written shorter than 5-7-5 to more closely resemble the Japanese. Two ways of doing this is to shorten the haiku to 3-5-3 English syllables or to 2-3-2 accents or stresses in the words.

There is a lot more to haiku, regarding how it presents an image to the reader. Typically metaphor is avoided, the haiku artist's job is to present an image free of the writer's conceptions... this allows the reader to for his/her own conclusion about the image.

I have a number of articles here at lit discussing haiku, senryu and zappai in some detail, one of these articles discusses the many haiku books available if anyone is interested in further study.

A well written haiku can be so stark in its simplicity, yet so deep in its observation it will take your breath away. It is so much more than the simple 5-7-5 so many people believe makes up a haiku.

I recommend than anyone interested in English Language Haiku purchase The haiku Anthology edited by Cors Van den Heuvel (my spelling may be off here), the preface to the book alone is worth the price of the book.

jim : )

 

[postobitum]

I should have known it wouldn't be so simple. *sigh* Now I will just have to find that book you recommended and buy it, lol, that's a good thing! Thank you for the clarification, I really do appreciate it. Kinda puts some of my favorite writing in a new light though, gonna hafta go back and start reworking a LOT of poetry!

 

[jthserra]

I *sigh* Now I will just have to find that book you recommended and buy it, lol, that's a good thing! Thank you for the clarification, I really do appreciate it.

I cite The haiku Anthology in my series of articles if you are interested in some reading on the subject while you await delivery of the book. Here are a couple:


Not Seventeen


What is Haiku?


jim : )

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

Usually you're not supposed to add additional stanzas. If so, I wouldn't name it Haiku. Just how I see it

Type this in to your browser: http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/types.html

This is what it says:

Haiku

Most popular definition, but there is more to haiku than meets the eye:

Haiku (also called nature or seasonal haiku) is an unrhymed Japanese verse consisting of three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables (5, 7, 5) or 17 syllables in all. Haiku is usually
written in the present tense and focuses on nature (seasons).

The 5/7/5 rule was made up for school children to understand and learn this type of poetry. For an in depth description of Haiku, please visit the Shadow Poetry Haiku, Senryu, and Tanka
section. There is much more to haiku than the made up 5/7/5 version.


Example #1:
Pink cherry blossoms
Cast shimmering reflections
On seas of Japan


Senryu
Most popular definition, but there is more to senryu than meets the eye:

Senryu (also called human haiku) is an unrhymed Japanese verse consisting of three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables (5, 7, 5) or 17 syllables in all. Senryu is usually written in
the present tense and only references to some aspect of human nature or emotions. They possess no references to the natural world and thus stand out from nature/seasonal haiku.

The 5/7/5 rule is rumored to have been made up for school children to understand and learn this type of poetry. For an in depth description of Haiku, please visit the Shadow Poetry Haiku,
Senryu, and Tanka section. There is much more to senryu than the madeup 5/7/5 version.


Example #1:
Brilliant words flowing
From those never knowing, how
many lives they touch....

More

Definition of Haiku

1) An unrhymed Japanese poem recording the essence of a moment. Nature is combined with human nature. It usually consists of three lines of 5/7/5 (5 onji in the first line, 7 onji in the second line, and 5 onji in the third line) totaling seventeen onji.

2) A foreign adaptation of 1, usually written in three lines totaling 17 syllables or LESS.

As you will notice, there are two definitions. Definition #1 is where many get confused. People tend to confuse onji with the English syllable.

This is like comparing apples to oranges. Onji cannot be compared to syllables.

Unless you are Japanese, have been writing Japanese, or speak fluent Japanese, you will be writing definition #2.

The difference between the two is that in definition #2, you will be writing three lines of poetry, 17 syllables or LESS.

This means you do not have to write three lines of 5/7/5 (5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second line, and 5 syllables in the third line). You may do so, if you can do it well without fluff words (many can't). If you write 5/7/5, that does not make your poem more of a haiku than someone who does not write 5/7/5.

An ideal haiku should be short/long/short - but that depends on the haiku itself. There is nothing wrong with 5/7/5, if that is what you want to write. However, the majority of modern haiku in most of the journals are not 5/7/5. That doesn't mean that it doesn't have its place.

However, it is all "haiku," not "haiku" and "other." It's just haiku. If you like, you can refer to 5/7/5 as "traditional" -- but even that is not entirely accurate, as it is quickly becoming more traditional to veer away from 5/7/5. The plural of haiku is also haiku, NOT haikus.

After you have been writing and studying haiku for a while, you may be ready to break a rule. This is fine, if it is needed to improve the quality of an individual haiku.

However, before breaking any haiku rule, you must learn and practice the rules.

Then after you are more experienced, you can determine which rule, if any, you want to break on occasion.

Break rules out of experience, not inexperience.


I wouldn't want to change it. But that's just me

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

No worries, Jim. It's not stirring something up. I don't like conflict very much

I just call it as I see it. What I studied and such.
Cheers!
Christina

 

[jthserra]

The stirring up...

refers to something that happened on these boards a number of months ago.


The description you give begins to scratch the surface of haiku and senryu. For haiku the first sentence in the description is very important: "An unrhymed Japanese poem recording the essence of a moment."

In his preface to "The haiku Anthology" Van den Heuvel extends this idea into what is the best description of haiku I have seen:

"A haiku is a short poem recording the essence of a moment keenly perceived in which Nature is linked to human nature."
Cor van den Heuvel, The Haiku Anthology W.W. Norton & Company, New York, London

My other articles about haiku, senryu, etc. here are:

What is Senryu?

What is Zappai?

More on Haiku: Books

More on Haiku: Kireji or "The Cut"

More on Haiku: Anthropromorphism and Suchness

More on Haiku: Nature and Kigo


As you can see, haiku is much more than counting syllables. And then there is tanka, kyoka, dodoitsu, sedona, haibun, and on and on. Like the song says... "I think I'm turning Japanese, turning Japanese, turning Japanese, I really think so."


Some of the things discussed in the articles go beyond what most haiku writers consider important. A lot of the nits in the articles were based upon my endeavors getting my haiku published in Frogpond, The Journal of the American Haiku Society. The editors there were incredibly helpful, taking time with each haiku I submitted and discussing the good and bad of each.


jim : )

 

[postobitum]

Well I'll be damned....thanks to both Chris and Jim for the insight, I am more intrigued than ever and will definitly be doing a lot of studying on this! hugs to both of you!

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

LOL, postobitum! I'd be more confused than ever!! I wouldn't know what to do. But anyway, you're welcome

 

[My Erotic Tale]

great class today~

Well I'll be damned....thanks to both Chris and Jim for the insight, I am more intrigued than ever and will definitly be doing a lot of studying on this! hugs to both of you!

Love to come home and see that the academy
was in full study group today.....A+

Thanks Christine

hey postobitum~
yep love that haiku...
like jim once told me some times
these short poems take longer than
a regular poem to write...

hey jim...
...aint stirring nothing up but lessons
and your the zen master of pen so thanks~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

I saw the nominee's list...

poems..

Erotic Poetry – Forever and Always / Thesandman
Illustrated Poetry – Gemini / Angeline
Non-Erotic Poetry – Sangria Bloodshed / jd4george
Poetry With Audio – Someone / impressive

congratulations...
these were voted by best rating/score for october
and they will be listed with the 12 finalist for
each catagory when 2004 is over...
now if I can go find them and post their links
for the best poems for october!

say one...grin...this is a poem and won
nomination for october in story/ humor-satire
"Hallow Eve's Hallow's Eve"

Humor & Satire – Hallow Eve's, Hallow's Eve / My Erotic Tail[/url]

I didn't know any other writer other than
Dr. maduese..congradulations for "Moth Song"

woohoo!
now let me go find these poems...and see what
the list springs forth this day!

 

[Christina O. Leigh]

I see him
touch the dog;
kindly pets,
and feeds
when hungry.

A kiss
so sweet.
You can see
her smile
as she wags her tail.

Hops up
on his lap
when he calls,
snuggles
watching football.

Warm embrace,
perfectly fit
wrapped together,
as though
they were lovers.

I sit on the
side chair
alone,
and wonder why
it's never me.

Suggestions please!!

 

[My Erotic Tale]

grades

A large amount of poems posted this day...
must be the wee hour workers...grin~
I'll post the ones in class first...grin~
grades?.......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Fate : by posobitum
"An ancient leviathan in time..."

this was a strong read...I liked it~ A+
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fullfillment :by LilDarlin

a wild ride of a poem~ A+
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friends by Distance: by Annora

"Friends for life thousands of miles apart
We know in our daily walk we have one person that believes
in our goodness .. One person wishes us the best ..

We believe in each other. "
A+
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Haikus 8 : by Du lac
speaking of Haiku...
someone did their home work A+
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
white box romance : by Honey123

cute poem~
Yummy Honey~ A+
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
trap : by average gina

this is moving~
A+
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

our teachers...liar...neon...jd4george
champagne and tungtied2u
lauren and annaswirls the "green E"
wording wonder woman...they all had poems out too!
so if your looking for a lesson read...grin!
very well class...continue writing...
I enjoy reading them...grin~