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Lonelywife1205 said:
I used to meet some really amazing men here. Lately, there seems to be an endless string of, I’ll be nice and call them “less than stellar” guys. I know you awesome guys are out there, likely lurking in the shadows. Please help restore the faith of the women of Lit that there really are some decent and wonderful men here. …(snip)
Click to expand...

Nice topic, thanks for the post. I want to reply, with what is probably a dealbreaker in one respect, but perhaps a deal maker in another. Here’s my spin… Make sure to unbuckle your belt! ;-)

-Confident
Professional athletes call JSMIAM for advice on being confident, and how to refer to themselves in the third person.

-OVER 40
Meets requirements. (Sigh, flashbacks to past jobs and the performance review process.)

-Good looking
Noone’s had a “reversal” upon seeing me.

-Kind
I’m probably more obsessed with a sense of fair play, rather than calling myself kind. In the end though, the two things end up with similar results.

-Funny/witty
The cornball king. It tends to be one extreme or the other though, people either think I’m hilarious, or roll their eyes. Nonetheless, I’ll sing to ya… “I’ve got to be meeeeee, I’ve got to be meee…”

-Not a man whore
There’s few enough people who are my type, I really can’t be one. Nonetheless, without making excuses for my gender, I’m still a male of the species.

-Emotionally available
This is where I’ll lose ya. It’s unfortunate timing that my reply is right below another one where this was the hot button, but I planned replying to this back on page 1.

So… Based on your (the OP) screen name, you’re married. I am too. And there are in a manner of speaking, two types of married people exploring outside excitement.

There’s the ‘lookin for love’ type (please note I’m not saying this is you, but since I’m the next (other) type, this is just me trying to make my point. I’m most definitely lookin for a friend who happens to be a compatible woman I’m attracted to, who laughs at my jokes. I’m not looking for love, or for someone to love me, though. Not true love’s first kiss. But maybe true friendships first lick.

There’s the “I’ve got my priorities and perspectives in order, and I’m not looking to change my situation, just want that little something else, for some reason, and I accept that it makes me at least partly a bad person” type. Short name, huh? But this is where I see myself, and where I want the other person to be.

(I lied, there are more types, but they tend to fall into the first two, to a degree.

So in conclusion, I WILL run off to Tahiti with you, but it would just be for a sex romp as friends, not to run off forever and live happily ever after.

In other words, my post is probably a ton of words, far too many, when my perspective on things is possibly very different. Nonetheless, I’ll say again, nice post, I liked it, and that’s why I’m writing.

-A great conversationalist
Oh baby, I can interlocute!

This probably belonged in the section above, but I’ll put it here, almost as good. There’s another type of availability, which I will label “available available.” I rarely if ever am online for hours at a time for long chats or phone calls. I can almost always find time for a reply to a message though. So another dealbreaker, at least as it applies to someone who has more time to themselves than me, I’ll lay that out there in advance. Long distance pen pal with benefits? PPWB? Hmm… that whole “PP” thing, let’s call it a noun rather than a verb.

-Intelligent
I work in a setting where I’m surrounded by doctors of the Medical, Philosophy, and both kind, so I’m constantly reminded that there are people infinitely smarter than me. Nonetheless, I’m still pretty smart.

-Not boring
In a writing/long distance friendship setting, exchanging messages, I’m not boring at all. Nonetheless, no, I haven’t jumped out of an airplane or hang-glided down the face of a cliff either.

-Not “too nice” or “trying too hard”
Huh huh! She said, “hard.”

But with that whole emotionally available speech above, at least you know I won’t just say anything to seem agreeable, right?


-Sincere
I think I am. And this also relates to that sense of fair play mentioned above. At the same time, somewhere along the line that whole topic of ‘what the hell am I (we) doing here if we’re so sincere’ has to be answered. (Or, as I’ll do here, mention in passing, while also partly ignoring it. :). (It works!)

-Considerate
Ibad. Ibid, Literotica personals style.

-At least a little pervy
Exactly! Pervy is such a perfect term. Giving it a nickname means you take it in stride and have a little fun with it, without going over the top.

-NOT AN ASSHOLE (wanting to lick them is ok, being one is not)
You nailed it! Buzzer beater. Although I did hit the rim. Bounced off of it to the other side, back and forth, then rolled around circling it.

I should just go hit SUBMIT and force myself not to proofread or refine, and also, not turn around and edit it it moments after submitting. That’s what I should do. (But didn’t.)
 
Hi there, ive literally just posted looking for a chat mate with a similar vibe to your list. Would like to think I meet most of your requirements. Also, looking for good folks as much as sexual fantasy to help my good but sexually lacking life in other ways. I'm 42 and fairly fit, can hold a conversation, or at least would like to think. X
 
jsmiam said:
Nice topic, thanks for the post. I want to reply, with what is probably a dealbreaker in one respect, but perhaps a deal maker in another. Here’s my spin… Make sure to unbuckle your belt! ;-)

-Confident
Professional athletes call JSMIAM for advice on being confident, and how to refer to themselves in the third person.

-OVER 40
Meets requirements. (Sigh, flashbacks to past jobs and the performance review process.)

-Good looking
Noone’s had a “reversal” upon seeing me.

-Kind
I’m probably more obsessed with a sense of fair play, rather than calling myself kind. In the end though, the two things end up with similar results.

-Funny/witty
The cornball king. It tends to be one extreme or the other though, people either think I’m hilarious, or roll their eyes. Nonetheless, I’ll sing to ya… “I’ve got to be meeeeee, I’ve got to be meee…”

-Not a man whore
There’s few enough people who are my type, I really can’t be one. Nonetheless, without making excuses for my gender, I’m still a male of the species.

-Emotionally available
This is where I’ll lose ya. It’s unfortunate timing that my reply is right below another one where this was the hot button, but I planned replying to this back on page 1.

So… Based on your (the OP) screen name, you’re married. I am too. And there are in a manner of speaking, two types of married people exploring outside excitement.

There’s the ‘lookin for love’ type (please note I’m not saying this is you, but since I’m the next (other) type, this is just me trying to make my point. I’m most definitely lookin for a friend who happens to be a compatible woman I’m attracted to, who laughs at my jokes. I’m not looking for love, or for someone to love me, though. Not true love’s first kiss. But maybe true friendships first lick.

There’s the “I’ve got my priorities and perspectives in order, and I’m not looking to change my situation, just want that little something else, for some reason, and I accept that it makes me at least partly a bad person” type. Short name, huh? But this is where I see myself, and where I want the other person to be.

(I lied, there are more types, but they tend to fall into the first two, to a degree.

So in conclusion, I WILL run off to Tahiti with you, but it would just be for a sex romp as friends, not to run off forever and live happily ever after.

In other words, my post is probably a ton of words, far too many, when my perspective on things is possibly very different. Nonetheless, I’ll say again, nice post, I liked it, and that’s why I’m writing.

-A great conversationalist
Oh baby, I can interlocute!

This probably belonged in the section above, but I’ll put it here, almost as good. There’s another type of availability, which I will label “available available.” I rarely if ever am online for hours at a time for long chats or phone calls. I can almost always find time for a reply to a message though. So another dealbreaker, at least as it applies to someone who has more time to themselves than me, I’ll lay that out there in advance. Long distance pen pal with benefits? PPWB? Hmm… that whole “PP” thing, let’s call it a noun rather than a verb.

-Intelligent
I work in a setting where I’m surrounded by doctors of the Medical, Philosophy, and both kind, so I’m constantly reminded that there are people infinitely smarter than me. Nonetheless, I’m still pretty smart.

-Not boring
In a writing/long distance friendship setting, exchanging messages, I’m not boring at all. Nonetheless, no, I haven’t jumped out of an airplane or hang-glided down the face of a cliff either.

-Not “too nice” or “trying too hard”
Huh huh! She said, “hard.”

But with that whole emotionally available speech above, at least you know I won’t just say anything to seem agreeable, right?


-Sincere
I think I am. And this also relates to that sense of fair play mentioned above. At the same time, somewhere along the line that whole topic of ‘what the hell am I (we) doing here if we’re so sincere’ has to be answered. (Or, as I’ll do here, mention in passing, while also partly ignoring it. :). (It works!)

-Considerate
Ibad. Ibid, Literotica personals style.

-At least a little pervy
Exactly! Pervy is such a perfect term. Giving it a nickname means you take it in stride and have a little fun with it, without going over the top.

-NOT AN ASSHOLE (wanting to lick them is ok, being one is not)
You nailed it! Buzzer beater. Although I did hit the rim. Bounced off of it to the other side, back and forth, then rolled around circling it.

I should just go hit SUBMIT and force myself not to proofread or refine, and also, not turn around and edit it it moments after submitting. That’s what I should do. (But didn’t.)
Click to expand...

*Sigh* but you were so perfect….

Adds good chatting availability and “not a cake eater” to the list.
 
Magineer said:
Yes... right... nothing whatsoever to do with your good self, of course...

No "trying" involved. Just simple but often effective exercise of observational faculties.

Bye now.
Click to expand...

I read through this thread last night and this morning. I don’t know you, you don’t know me, but I agree with this comment somewhat. If you’re having so many issues meeting someone maybe take a step back and look at yourself and what you’re putting out there into the universe? Maybe there’s something you’re doing or not doing that’s attracting men you don’t care for? 🤷🏻*♀️ Just an opinion, take it or leave it.
 
Lonelywife1205 said:
I used to meet some really amazing men here. Lately, there seems to be an endless string of, I’ll be nice and call them “less than stellar” guys. I know you awesome guys are out there, likely lurking in the shadows. Please help restore the faith of the women of Lit that there really are some decent and wonderful men here.

Come say hi and introduce yourself if you are…

-Confident
-OVER 40
-Good looking
-Kind
-Funny/witty
-Not a man whore
-Emotionally available
-A great conversationalist
-Intelligent
-Not boring
-Not “too nice” or “trying too hard”
-Sincere
-Considerate
-At least a little pervy
-NOT AN ASSHOLE (wanting to lick them is ok, being one is not)

* This is a general list, my personal list is way more specific. I reserve the right to amend it as I see fit.

** This has gone off the rails a bit. What i envisioned was a fun thread where people could interact, but instead my inbox has blown up.

***As a side note, my specific list includes no bi guys, no men who are into wearing women’s panties and no submissive men. I’m not kink shaming, just not my thing. ;)

**** Just to clarify, I’m not really looking for anyone and I’m definitely not looking for horny guys who just want to e-bone. I was considering a man hating post yesterday, but thought this would be a better idea. I’ve had enough heartbreak to last me for a good long while. But, if the Lit fairy drops the rare and elusive unicorn right in my lap, I won’t turn him away. ;)
Click to expand...

I think you’re going about this the right way. There’s no shortage of people who aren’t the right fit and it does take effort to meet and find the right connection(s). It’s funny, when I first started on Lit, I thought everyone was looking for the same thing. I of course have come to learn that is far from right. But I’ve been pleasantly surprised to learn about areas of the erotic and other that I had no idea would interest me, so I’m glad I periodically come back.
I know that women often get inundated with PM’s much more so than men. That has to be overwhelming at times I’m sure. I have no doubt that putting this out there led to just that. But boy when the connection is made, it’s great.
 
I believe I am more than qualified to be added to this hypothetical List. But I have never been one to brag about myself, so I'll just leave it at that.


Ben
 
I agree with Dangerous Curves27

I agree with Dangerous Curves27...I've been following this thread for 2 days and what I've found is the critical comments either go unanswered or lonelywife tells men to take their comments elsewhere. There have been some clever, and perhaps not so clever, responses, but most seemed goodhearted and sincere. Only the pretentious "avecvous" got a halfway warm reception only to have to then back up to the wife by saying "smart enough to know I'm wrong" or some other benign comment...means squat. Dangerous Curves is absolutely right...you just want the response you want...but maybe look at yourself. Oh...BTW I like your picture, but I find pockets better for keeping your hands warm...
 
Dangerous_Curves27 said:
I read through this thread last night and this morning. I don’t know you, you don’t know me, but I agree with this comment somewhat. If you’re having so many issues meeting someone maybe take a step back and look at yourself and what you’re putting out there into the universe? Maybe there’s something you’re doing or not doing that’s attracting men you don’t care for? 🤷🏻*♀️ Just an opinion, take it or leave it.
Click to expand...

Bingo!!!!! My thoughts exactly.
 
Oh, how I wish I’d read this post before my clumsy PM. Please forgive me LW.

I think I qualify - I’m a lot of those things and I’m really not attempting to ebone everyone I PM, (some of them, yes dammit, I’m only human).

Where I fall short is that I’m not emotionally available in that I’m not here for a relationship or replace my wife in any way. My love for her is unconditional. As I believe is her love for me. It is my lust for her that is unrequited. So I’m here, yes to ebone occasionally, but mostly to commune and commiserate with others in my sorry position. I have found some wonderful people to do that with, sharing frustrations and encouragement, sympathy and regrets.

I’m kind of new to navigating this, but really not at all. I’m just inconsistent and lazy or as I’d prefer to say too busy juggling life to devote the time and effort required.

But anyway this is me, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Steve xx

Lonelywife1205 said:
I used to meet some really amazing men here. Lately, there seems to be an endless string of, I’ll be nice and call them “less than stellar” guys. I know you awesome guys are out there, likely lurking in the shadows. Please help restore the faith of the women of Lit that there really are some decent and wonderful men here.

Come say hi and introduce yourself if you are…

-Confident
-OVER 40
-Good looking
-Kind
-Funny/witty
-Not a man whore
-Emotionally available
-A great conversationalist
-Intelligent
-Not boring
-Not “too nice” or “trying too hard”
-Sincere
-Considerate
-At least a little pervy
-NOT AN ASSHOLE (wanting to lick them is ok, being one is not)

* This is a general list, my personal list is way more specific. I reserve the right to amend it as I see fit.

** This has gone off the rails a bit. What i envisioned was a fun thread where people could interact, but instead my inbox has blown up.

***As a side note, my specific list includes no bi guys, no men who are into wearing women’s panties and no submissive men. I’m not kink shaming, just not my thing. ;)

**** Just to clarify, I’m not really looking for anyone and I’m definitely not looking for horny guys who just want to e-bone. I was considering a man hating post yesterday, but thought this would be a better idea. I’ve had enough heartbreak to last me for a good long while. But, if the Lit fairy drops the rare and elusive unicorn right in my lap, I won’t turn him away. ;)
Click to expand...
 
Dangerous_Curves27 said:
I read through this thread last night and this morning. I don’t know you, you don’t know me, but I agree with this comment somewhat. If you’re having so many issues meeting someone maybe take a step back and look at yourself and what you’re putting out there into the universe? Maybe there’s something you’re doing or not doing that’s attracting men you don’t care for? 🤷🏻*♀️ Just an opinion, take it or leave it.
Click to expand...

Underconstruction58 said:
I agree with Dangerous Curves27...I've been following this thread for 2 days and what I've found is the critical comments either go unanswered or lonelywife tells men to take their comments elsewhere. There have been some clever, and perhaps not so clever, responses, but most seemed goodhearted and sincere. Only the pretentious "avecvous" got a halfway warm reception only to have to then back up to the wife by saying "smart enough to know I'm wrong" or some other benign comment...means squat. Dangerous Curves is absolutely right...you just want the response you want...but maybe look at yourself. Oh...BTW I like your picture, but I find pockets better for keeping your hands warm...
Click to expand...

LuvWomen12 said:
Bingo!!!!! My thoughts exactly.
Click to expand...

To my critics…

I think my use of the phrase of “endless string” was not accurate and posted in haste. I was feeling hurt when I posted this because of 2 recent encounters where I felt like I had been led on in a way that wasn’t fair to me. To give you an example, one person I cared a lot about told me he just couldn’t get over the fact that I was married. He is the one who pursued me. He knew from the get go I was married. I’ve never hidden that fact. It’s in my name! So to be blindsided with that rejection for that reason was hurtful even though it came in the form of a very sweet email that was complimentary of me in other ways.

I have no problem meeting men. I am very picky though. I know what I want and what I don’t. I have had a few wonderful relationships and most of them I am still close with even since they ended for various reasons. I am sincere and genuine in what I am looking for, but they are very specific voids I am trying to fill. I do take a look at myself quite often and try to exhibit the same qualities I am seeking. I’m not perfect, far from it, but I do have a lot to offer the right person. I am confident and quite content with who I am as a person.

I appreciate all of the people who have posted on this thread. It was intended to be a place for the really great men on Lit to put themselves out there for all the women to see, not just me. I only have so much time in the day, so I haven’t been able to respond to every single post or PM I have received. I have a job, a family and friends and a few select people I have had conversations with from this post because I am interested in getting to know them. I will respond to the rest of my PM’s as time allows, but I have 3 pages of them, so please be patient with me.
 
We didn't have the full context

OK LW...now this whole thing makes sense, and my comment earlier is retracted. I think what some were thinking is that this saying that basically most men on Lit were not like they were before. I, like everyone, am a bit sad that someone that chose to ignore what they clearly knew to be your situation, hurt you. But he and the second were only two...I hope. Give guys a chance...some will certainly suprise you.

Please accept my apology.

Oh, yes...I'm really hot...just kidding...but I am
 
Lonelywife1205 said:
To my critics…

I think my use of the phrase of “endless string” was not accurate and posted in haste. I was feeling hurt when I posted this because of 2 recent encounters where I felt like I had been led on in a way that wasn’t fair to me. To give you an example, one person I cared a lot about told me he just couldn’t get over the fact that I was married. He is the one who pursued me. He knew from the get go I was married. I’ve never hidden that fact. It’s in my name! So to be blindsided with that rejection for that reason was hurtful even though it came in the form of a very sweet email that was complimentary of me in other ways.

I have no problem meeting men. I am very picky though. I know what I want and what I don’t. I have had a few wonderful relationships and most of them I am still close with even since they ended for various reasons. I am sincere and genuine in what I am looking for, but they are very specific voids I am trying to fill. I do take a look at myself quite often and try to exhibit the same qualities I am seeking. I’m not perfect, far from it, but I do have a lot to offer the right person. I am confident and quite content with who I am as a person.

I appreciate all of the people who have posted on this thread. It was intended to be a place for the really great men on Lit to put themselves out there for all the women to see, not just me. I only have so much time in the day, so I haven’t been able to respond to every single post or PM I have received. I have a job, a family and friends and a few select people I have had conversations with from this post because I am interested in getting to know them. I will respond to the rest of my PM’s as time allows, but I have 3 pages of them, so please be patient with me.
Click to expand...

So he wasn’t allowed to change his mind? There are people who I’ve chatted with that as we get to know each other maybe I’m not quite as interested as I initially thought I was and visa versa. 🤷🏻*♀️ It happens. Maybe he initially thought that was something he could overlook and just couldn’t when it came down to it. He could’ve just completely ghosted you as many people on Lit do.

I don’t think we’re criticizing you but maybe your thing is you need to be a victim? Some woah as me for some more attention, maybe? I don’t know. Like I said initially - I don’t know you and you don’t know me. I had an opinion and gave it as others have also done.
 
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