SAMMY Subs

[Honeysucklevine]

and why some of us don't consider any kind of play to be punishment, and why just a few think punishment is "you're out of here. Goodbye."

Profound. (so love that)

 

[RomyDelaney]

I'm not sure if there is going to be a person out there who can give me what I want. Maybe it's not defined as bdsm or D/s but I think it is in there somewhere. I just know there is a way that I feel when I hear a certain tone in a persons voice where I just want to please them but at the same time I want to be told off or chastised and 'brought into line' too. I wouldn't want it to be thought of as tiresome or as it being a punishment. I don't think I'd want to me thought of as a 'smart ass masochist' either. Maybe I'm not submissive enough. I only know that bdsm has interested me since I knew it exsisted. Dominance has turned me on since I was a child and the feeling of rebelling against someone who is Dominant turns me on even more. I keep trying to figure out where in this bdsm World I belong, if anywhere. I'm hoping to try and figure it out here.

Romy

 

[Honeysucklevine]

My last comment, I promise!

Romy,
You are who you are. You don't have to fit into any specific groove. Only your own. Are you and your partner happy? Then that's what counts. There are so many different levels, just as it is with anything. Remember when bisexuals were chastised for not picking a side? Nothing is black and white. There are only shades of gray.

 

[RJMasters]

Like so many discussion about "words/titles/roles" on here
this one has gotten away from it's self

A sammy is one that likes a certain "punishment"
and acts out to get it

which also means they have a Dom/me
that does not understand that "punishment"
should be something the sub does NOT like

It also takes us back to the misunderstanding of BDSM
versus D/s

BDSM is about sensuiality
D/s is about surrender

Definately worthy of a second read IMO. Nicely put Richard.

 

[LunarKitten]

I'm not sure if there is going to be a person out there who can give me what I want. Maybe it's not defined as bdsm or D/s but I think it is in there somewhere. I just know there is a way that I feel when I hear a certain tone in a persons voice where I just want to please them but at the same time I want to be told off or chastised and 'brought into line' too. I wouldn't want it to be thought of as tiresome or as it being a punishment. I don't think I'd want to me thought of as a 'smart ass masochist' either. Maybe I'm not submissive enough. I only know that bdsm has interested me since I knew it exsisted. Dominance has turned me on since I was a child and the feeling of rebelling against someone who is Dominant turns me on even more. I keep trying to figure out where in this bdsm World I belong, if anywhere. I'm hoping to try and figure it out here.

Romy

Oh, sweetie. You should know that there are all different types of relationships out there in the BDSM world. I am in a Master/slave relationship - but many hardcore people would say we are just "playing" at it because he's not a total hardass with me. We don't play a lot - but we play more than a lot of people in my local community who only get to play at social events put on by a local group.

Yes, I can be a bit of a smart ass at times, luckily he doesn't mind as long as I don't go too far over the line (which I would never knowingly do, because I love him so much).

Which brings up another topic you will see by hard core ones: BDSM and D/s and M/s isn't about love. That is one I have to argue with. If I don't care about someone deeply, I have no desire to make them happy. The more I care about someone, the more I want to take care of them and make them happy.

It's simply the different dynamics that everyone is wired for. Does make one relationship wrong for everyone, just wrong for those it doesn't work for.

There are relationship dynamics out there to match just about everyone, I have found. Which is something I think is a wonderful thing. The other you are seeking may be hard to find at first, but you will eventually find them. So don't give up on finding that someone for yourself. Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of paddles to find that certain special otk person

 

[Honeysucklevine]

Re: Re: Kidding is ok, humor is ok

but provoking me is never ok. I do not care for SAMS

First of all, thanks to willowpus for starting this thread. Secondly, I was wondering if I am too sassy for my own good. I have edited this because it got way to wordy and I found it quite painful to read myself!

So, the question is, could you type in a few black and white true life examples of where or when your partner should have shut up? For example, I am with a man who I adore in every sense of the word. I have always had a dominant personality but with him, well, I just enjoy taking a step back. He doesn't acknowledge our relationship as being a sub-dom thing. If he knows it, he is certainly in denial! Anyway, we have always played "cat and mouse" on the phone since the very beginning. He'll say, "you are soooooo getting a spanking when I see you" and I'll say, "oh, yea? Well, bring it on big daddy!" , or something like that. One night, he actually did it! Ouch, I'm not into pain. Ok, getting wordy again so I'll wind this up. Three nights ago, I was stressed out to the maxx and I overreacted to something and said, "what about me? what about MY massage? I work hard and everything is about you! Why don't you ever say, "hey, you look tired. Would you like a massage? But nooooooo!" I mean I layed into him. My punishment, though I don't think he's aware of it, was total withdrawal for three days! No see, no talk and no instant messaging! Needless to say, I will be more subtle the next time I have needs to fulfull. Am I right or wrong? I mean to tell you, this guy can give me a look, and I know to sit there and look pretty! Nobody else has ever been able to tame this woman! I do not want to lose this man because of my inability to hold in my thoughts until an appropriate time. But, I need nurturing to at times. Ebonyfire and all others who are heavy handed, I kind of know where you stand. Respect is key. R-E-S-P-E-C-T from both sides no matter what type of relationship it is. Sounds like you have had some bad partners. Am I wrong to want to be pampered occasionally? I don't think so! I just handled it wrong. Anyway, this guy, I love him. I really do. I want to kiss him all over. He is beautiful inside and out. I want to be more submissive for him. I want to see where this will all lead. (reading EROTIC SURRENDER by Claudia Varrin)

What are some real true life examples of smart ass disrespectful behavior?
What kind of sassy behavior has gotten your adrenalin/endorphins going? Did you like it?

Merry Christmas. I better get back downstairs and visit with all the drunken aunts and uncles that I only see once a year! Gotta be the hostess!

Thanks for your replies in advance and thanks for starting this thread Willowpus.

Me thinks I've been ignored. That's cool. I understand.

 

[Richard49]

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Richard49
Like so many discussion about "words/titles/roles" on here
this one has gotten away from it's self

A sammy is one that likes a certain "punishment"
and acts out to get it

which also means they have a Dom/me
that does not understand that "punishment"
should be something the sub does NOT like

It also takes us back to the misunderstanding of BDSM
versus D/s

BDSM is about sensuiality
D/s is about surrender
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Definately worthy of a second read IMO. Nicely put Richard.

I can see
as usual
it was a waste of energy and bandwidth
people want things the way they want them
and they care less of truth

 

[Honeysucklevine]

misunderstood

I think I was misunderstood. People who know me, know that I do not stop until I get the truth. I'm constantly seeking fairness and balance for myself and those around me. I help children with disabilities for a living! I will pull over, rescue a dog and put signs up to find it's rightful owner. I will defend those who are treated unfairly even if it makes me unpopular. (I am a Libra)
I seek the truth in all things. Even my house has a miniature library full of mostly non-fiction! I am all about the truth! (she snaps)

 

[CutieMouse]

Re: misunderstood

I think I was misunderstood. People who know me, know that I do not stop until I get the truth. I'm constantly seeking fairness and balance for myself and those around me. I help children with disabilities for a living! I will pull over, rescue a dog and put signs up to find it's rightful owner. I will defend those who are treated unfairly even if it makes me unpopular. (I am a Libra)
I seek the truth in all things. Even my house has a miniature library full of mostly non-fiction! I am all about the truth! (she snaps)

Sweetie- I think you are looking for someone to say XYZ is an example of SAMMy. So ok if you do X at this exact moment! Bling! You are a SAMMy! It's not that simple.

In my iopinion, Richard49 did a good job of defining a SAMMy. It was clear to me, and summed up very simply what *I* would interprit as "SAMMy". But not everyone sees it the same, thus it can be an elusive thing to define.

And commenting that you didn't seem to want to see what was written (again coming from the perspective that RIchard IMO explained it pretty clearly) has nothing to do with who you are as a person IRL, or being a Libra, or how many non-fiction books you own. It means you are unable to see what he wrote as clearly as he wrote it for some reason. So go digest on it a bit, and maybe you will find your own answer to a semi-elusive question.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: Re: Kidding is ok, humor is ok

Me thinks I've been ignored. That's cool. I understand.

If you're referring to EB, she hasn't posted here in quite a while.

As for the rest of the opinions, YMMV.

Someone that enjoys delivering pain at the behest of another, laughing at the potential label here of a submissive sadist, would get along quite well with a SAMmy. Perhaps a 'nilla lover with a kink and desire to indulge their partner with kink play as well. That doesn't make it wrong.

For the record, i see nothing wrong with smartass masochists. i just don't indulge them. You pick your partner based on what you like and want.

If you have a problem with that, look up anelize's sig line.

 

[Honeysucklevine]

Was NOT asking what a sammie was. Guess I didn't make myself clear. (my bad)

 

[CutieMouse]

My point was it's difficult to give black/white examples of SAMMy subs because it kinda depends on the relationship. *shrug*

 

[Honeysucklevine]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Kidding is ok, humor is ok

If you're referring to EB, she hasn't posted here in quite a while.

As for the rest of the opinions, YMMV.

Someone that enjoys delivering pain at the behest of another, laughing at the potential label here of a submissive sadist, would get along quite well with a SAMmy. Perhaps a 'nilla lover with a kink and desire to indulge their partner with kink play as well. That doesn't make it wrong.

For the record, i see nothing wrong with smartass masochists. i just don't indulge them. You pick your partner based on what you like and want.

If you have a problem with that, look up anelize's sig line.

Thank you. No problems.