Sexless Marriages

[Doodledude]

Sex was a real joy when we were younger, but it got to be just less and less important to her. So now I work and then sit around on my days off because I just don’t really care right now. I’ve lost 90lbs in 18 months without even trying. I have no health issues and can eat whatever I want. It seems like I need to get my brain fixed. I probably shouldn’t post this, because I’ll never find anyone to chat with now

 

[Duke981]

I’m in same situation? Let’s chat. Message me if interested

 

[Norfolkguy49]

I'm.so glad it is just not me lately has started to get really down. Been 8 years now

 

[LustyScribe]

I'm.so glad it is just not me lately has started to get really down. Been 8 years now

No, you're not alone by any stretch.

 

[Alancaster78]

Heading to the gym. Working out helps me deal with the frustrations at home. Have a great day friends.

 

[luvclassics]

Heading to the gym. Working out helps me deal with the frustrations at home. Have a great day friends.

Dude, props to you. This sounds very similar to me. I just started my journey last week. I decided to stop feeling sorrow for myself and get off the couch. At this point I just work out at home but any pointers or things to watch out for in my journey would be appreciated.

 

[Alancaster78]

Dude, props to you. This sounds very similar to me. I just started my journey last week. I decided to stop feeling sorrow for myself and get off the couch. At this point I just work out at home but any pointers or things to watch out for in my journey would be appreciated.

Good for you! It all starts with one step, one lift, one mile. I found a very supportive community at my gym. After a year, I lost 60lbs. It’s a journey so be kind to yourself.

 

[BigBallsCanuck]

it’s really very tedious.

Yes, it is isn't it.

 

[Norfolkguy49]

Mine is sexless because he refused to take care of diabetes when it first happened. Now he's been impotent for over 10 years but it's not just that. I got tired of asking for a hug, some not sexual touch other than when he wants a hj or bj. Even though it is a disease there's a lot of contained rage because he could have taken care of himself. Sex consists of giving him start he wants, then turns around a goes to sleep and i take care of myself when I'm alone. It's a lonely life.

I get no physical attention and try get a hug and she goes stop it

 

[LuvHCups]

Checking in with all the people with whom this thread reasonates. Sexless and lonely. How has your March started?

Anyone making meaningful connections on Lit?

With Spring coming soon, hope springs forth.

Hang in there peeps!

I am very hopeful. Soon I'll have the money for the divorce and I can finally get out of this ridiculous, sexless marriage. I can't wait to lay down with someone who has something to offer

 

[Unleashthelegions]

In the same boat, been mostly sexless marriage for the last 7 years, completely for the last 2. I'm 40 and she is 34. At one point she suggested opening the marriage up and things improved greatly for about 6 months before she got jealous and I had to close everything back up, so back to trying to find a connection with someone who is only online so as to appease her and still have some outlet for myself that she isn't interested in. I don't understand why she cares if she isn't interested in sex, but no matter the conversation she has never really given me an explanation that clicks for me. I hope everyone is having a wonderful day.

 

[Friedfred]

In the same boat, been mostly sexless marriage for the last 7 years, completely for the last 2. I'm 40 and she is 34. At one point she suggested opening the marriage up and things improved greatly for about 6 months before she got jealous and I had to close everything back up, so back to trying to find a connection with someone who is only online so as to appease her and still have some outlet for myself that she isn't interested in. I don't understand why she cares if she isn't interested in sex, but no matter the conversation she has never really given me an explanation that clicks for me. I hope everyone is having a wonderful day.

Did you find an outlet

 

[Friedfred]

Same crud. The depression is a constant battle.
I recently asked her if what she wanted was actually a platonic marriage (since, by way of refusal, that's what she's actually forcing on ME). She sputtered, said she wasn't saying anything like that...but then she didn't say it's NOT what she wants, either. We had some unrelated crap stir up, so it got tabled, but I'm going to press it again this weekend. Time to just put the cards on the table.
If she says yes, that's her desire, then that's my open pass to meet those needs elsewhere with no guilt. If she says no, I'm preparing some expectations. No more riding the fence.

Good luck with your battle

 

[Hopeful1972]

It is the most tedious of things.

 

[up3lcap1975]

Here to add my name to a list that I wash didn't exist

 

[Friedfred]

Welcome

 

[AttachedandLonely_UK]

I'm not about to go into too many details, but after the events of the last few days - and no, no other people involved to my knowledge - I'm determined to start having some fun. I'm going to get to know some women and see what comes of it. I'm tired of "being attached" being another way of wording "being miserable". Its not even that I want to be single, or with someone else - I'm just frustrated and if I'm feeling fulfilled, life at home will be better too. A week without sex should be unusual, a month exceptional. But when a fairly fit, fairly attractive man finds that having sex is exceptional, something is wrong

That probably doesn't make a great deal of sense - but it does in my head

 

[Sparky74]

I'm not about to go into too many details, but after the events of the last few days - and no, no other people involved to my knowledge - I'm determined to start having some fun. I'm going to get to know some women and see what comes of it. I'm tired of "being attached" being another way of wording "being miserable". Its not even that I want to be single, or with someone else - I'm just frustrated and if I'm feeling fulfilled, life at home will be better too. A week without sex should be unusual, a month exceptional. But when a fairly fit, fairly attractive man finds that having sex is exceptional, something is wrong

That probably doesn't make a great deal of sense - but it does in my head

Sent PM.

 

[KeenVoyeur]

I'm not about to go into too many details, but after the events of the last few days - and no, no other people involved to my knowledge - I'm determined to start having some fun. I'm going to get to know some women and see what comes of it. I'm tired of "being attached" being another way of wording "being miserable". Its not even that I want to be single, or with someone else - I'm just frustrated and if I'm feeling fulfilled, life at home will be better too. A week without sex should be unusual, a month exceptional. But when a fairly fit, fairly attractive man finds that having sex is exceptional, something is wrong

That probably doesn't make a great deal of sense - but it does in my head

You're not alone ... but finding a FWB is no easy task! I wish I could find someone to help ease my frustration / misery too

 

[AttachedandLonely_UK]

I'd settle just for a female friend who doesn't know my other half at the moment - and see what develops. I think it's an issue here where people are seeking a quick answer. I'm not, I'm hoping to get to know someone and take things as it comes. If it turns out to be a friendship that simply gets me socialising properly again, that's a great start and there will be more to it eventually - even if it takes a while and I make several non sexual friends along the way to finding it.

 

[NorthernCardinal]

I dont profess to be either fit or attractive but I feel your pain. It's been close to 18 monthd since my wife even looked at me in thst tone of voice.

 

[Hopeful1972]

Here to add my name to a list that I wash didn't exist

Fair point, well made.

It's no fine place to be, but it is where we are.

 

[Tweedledude]

I'd settle just for a female friend who doesn't know my other half at the moment - and see what develops. I think it's an issue here where people are seeking a quick answer. I'm not, I'm hoping to get to know someone and take things as it comes. If it turns out to be a friendship that simply gets me socialising properly again, that's a great start and there will be more to it eventually - even if it takes a while and I make several non sexual friends along the way to finding it.

I feel your pain it's the pain of so many of us

 

[Tweedledude]

I'm 66 and have over the last 45 years been to counseling and read more books than i care to count just to make sure my attitude towards this topic was not wrong. My counselor a woman basically said your a typical horny male in our society. Her exact words. Your wife is asexual and marriage counseling will be the most difficult thing you will ever do. Wife walked out on two counselors the min the topic of sex came up. So i poured myself into work. That's where i found my validation. Retirement is a whole new struggle.

Anyways two books that i read amongst the many where written by the same author. What women expect of men and what men expect of women. I remember them because he boiled it down to this. Women's nature is be validated(to feel love) via praise and expressions of gratitude and appreciation. Men's nature is be validated(to feel love) via sex. Unfortunately most women not all women don't understand this nor do they want to understand this. So we pour ourselves into work projects religion you name it looking for validation because the one person we truly want to be validated by is unable to. Sorry for the rambling on. Anyways do love discussing books. I'm seeing more and more women authors trying to help women by telling them it's okay to feel desire and be desired. That they are actually a sexual intimate creation. Maybe the next generation will be better

 

[JadedVue]

I am totally in a sexless marriage and have been pretty much for a few years! We’re out there but we are a bit like unicorns

I am a woman in her 50’s with the sex drive of an 18 yr old boy, that’s not normal I’ve been told by female friends the same age and male friends. I should be settling down for my old age with my hormones dying a slow death, but hell no!

I like the hell no attitude. I hope you are able to find someone to play with. xoxoxo