I truly do not understand how women end up in a situation of sexlessness. No aspersions or anything, just that men fuck who they can, and women fuck who they want. Culturally, I know of an overwhelming amount of men dying for sex where most women (seemingly) are getting what they want.
There are an astronomical number of men on Lit dying for sex...just IMO. As a female, I get propositioned constantly; some are looking to get cyber laid and nothing else, others want to actually meet up.
I’ve met ladies while traveling… it has not been very hard. I usually just chat and listen… they usually make a leading suggestion when they want to leave.
Try twice in 3 years. Now after this long ive lost hope, then lost interest. What a racket women can run and its lauded as somebpower of abilty. No, it easy to shut down and do nothing. Its not a skillnor power. Its bullshit. When to know its over is a lost concept. Roommates. More like cellmates.
Going on 12 years...I feel your pain. Definitely just roommates, and my bed has become a chair in the living room
I don't get the racket comment. Is it better having a cell mate or just leave?
I did find myself in category a - we both had big feelings for each other. She wouldn't leave her asshole husband and I ended up moving hours away. It wasn't just fucking, it was emotional and intimate. But there was big risk. Sparks and chemistry - it was how things should be.
That's the question I have - where do these missing connections happen?
It's better to leave, at least to me. But it's more than not having sex in my situation, that just happens to also apply.
I left when my kids were young. Sure, I could have stayed for the financial security while living with his contempt. I think the question is how much contempt and financial security are we willing to accept before we hate our partner and ourselves.
I'm the sole provider, have been for 20 years. It's not about the money, it's about the threats she's made to try and ever prevent me from seeing my kids. She'll try and take every penny I've scraped together, but I don't care. I just want to be free and be myself, which she loathes and looks down on. Only a few more years.
It goes to show the the multiple circumstances involved in sexless marriages.
Exactly. There is a plethora of reasons for the situation, and not a one size fits all
I’m curious, “what a racket women can run,” could you please give me some tips? I could use some extra money.
Men don’t seem to realize how important sex is to women as wellJust gonna throw a few thoughts or things to ponder from my ( women's) perspective
* Menopause, women's hormones reduce to 1% of what we used to have (for the most part) Imagine cutting your testicles off. Men, testosterone, really doesn't change a whole bunch. A healthy male will produce testosterone and get wood, even into their 80's and 90's! Our vaginas dry up and turn to crepe paper.
* Once hormones are gone, our brains don't miss sex, it's awful
* I would think most women don't realize that when our sex drive disappears and when we turn down our men's sexual asks, that rejection REALLY hurts them mentally.
* I never realized or understood how important sex is to the husband and a marriage. Men and sex = feeling wanted, needed, intimacy, requirement to be happy.
My personal experience with menopause has been a fucking rollercoaster. My family and myself have suffered some tough times.
Communication and understanding is key. Just some thoughts from a random old lady. Please note this is not gospel...every situation is different.
as someone who had unexpected and unwanted surgical menopause before I was even perimenopausal, I can understand the drop in hormones.Just gonna throw a few thoughts or things to ponder from my ( women's) perspective
* Menopause, women's hormones reduce to 1% of what we used to have (for the most part) Imagine cutting your testicles off. Men, testosterone, really doesn't change a whole bunch. A healthy male will produce testosterone and get wood, even into their 80's and 90's! Our vaginas dry up and turn to crepe paper.
* Once hormones are gone, our brains don't miss sex, it's awful
* I would think most women don't realize that when our sex drive disappears and when we turn down our men's sexual asks, that rejection REALLY hurts them mentally.
* I never realized or understood how important sex is to the husband and a marriage. Men and sex = feeling wanted, needed, intimacy, requirement to be happy.
My personal experience with menopause has been a fucking rollercoaster. My family and myself have suffered some tough times.
Communication and understanding is key. Just some thoughts from a random old lady. Please note this is not gospel...every situation is different.
Great to have a woman's perspective on this subject. I've been following this group for a quite a few months & think your response covers one of the biggest problems in a sexless marriage. My wife has been to hell & back over the past 12 years & has had everything possible to try & help from medication/HRT, therapy, counselling etc, but to no avail. It has completely changed our lives, unfortunately in many ways for the worst. I have been wanting to try & put my experience into words but I think that your post explains many things to people who may not be aware of what the menopause does to a woman - the decimation of the hormones is such a devastating thing to have to deal with.Just gonna throw a few thoughts or things to ponder from my ( women's) perspective
* Menopause, women's hormones reduce to 1% of what we used to have (for the most part) Imagine cutting your testicles off. Men, testosterone, really doesn't change a whole bunch. A healthy male will produce testosterone and get wood, even into their 80's and 90's! Our vaginas dry up and turn to crepe paper.
* Once hormones are gone, our brains don't miss sex, it's awful
* I would think most women don't realize that when our sex drive disappears and when we turn down our men's sexual asks, that rejection REALLY hurts them mentally.
* I never realized or understood how important sex is to the husband and a marriage. Men and sex = feeling wanted, needed, intimacy, requirement to be happy.
My personal experience with menopause has been a fucking rollercoaster. My family and myself have suffered some tough times.
Communication and understanding is key. Just some thoughts from a random old lady. Please note this is not gospel...every situation is different.
BingoJust gonna throw a few thoughts or things to ponder from my ( women's) perspective
* Menopause, women's hormones reduce to 1% of what we used to have (for the most part) Imagine cutting your testicles off. Men, testosterone, really doesn't change a whole bunch. A healthy male will produce testosterone and get wood, even into their 80's and 90's! Our vaginas dry up and turn to crepe paper.
* Once hormones are gone, our brains don't miss sex, it's awful
* I would think most women don't realize that when our sex drive disappears and when we turn down our men's sexual asks, that rejection REALLY hurts them mentally.
* I never realized or understood how important sex is to the husband and a marriage. Men and sex = feeling wanted, needed, intimacy, requirement to be happy.
My personal experience with menopause has been a fucking rollercoaster. My family and myself have suffered some tough times.
Communication and understanding is key. Just some thoughts from a random old lady. Please note this is not gospel...every situation is different.
Yep
You make a very insightful statement. The "idea".....
Sadly, it not just that easy. Lifes pretty complicated. But im seeking to respark our marriage and its just difficult to navigate. Her attitude will not allow happiness. But what else than to try. Or quit. Dunno.
Would she be willing to do bioidentical hormone therapy? My Lady did it. Made a huge difference but then she quit not willing to put in the effort. It's difficult so I'll just understand
I do not k ow what that is, forgive me.
