So true. Experience is very much key. Also worth noting is that people also change. Bodies change, mentally and physically and both are connected. Health and wellbeing go hand in hand. You can have the perfect partner in your 30’s, beautiful mind and body but all it takes is a sudden illness and peoples mental health can be affected. An illness may not be instant just something that creeps into your life as you age.
After I posted and reread your previous comments, I realized I hadn't realized you were probably referring to just women and not everyone. So I see what you're saying now.
Probably true. Men want the actions to show they are desired and women want the verbal reaffirmation.
This is the exact situation I find myself in.
You are fortunate. Good for you.
This is so true. I acknowledge that there is change and growth in people as they age and it may pull on what was once good. For me, it was never a union of goodness, so it has only gone from bad to worse and my spouse is of the idea that divorce is one of the greatest sins a person can commit.
My gf had this experience in her 40s. (Lucky me!) So did a couple of her friends.
Plenty of wanking then
What does "open marriage" mean to you? Just asking because to some people your second statement would be the definition of "open marriage."
Open marriage to me would by its very meaning have to be reciprocal. I.e, we would both be free to seek sex outside of the marriage. I think some men that bring up openIng the marriage with their wife do so purely from their own perspective that it’s a way for them to have sex with other women, but don’t think through the fact that she is just as free to seek the same. Then they’re shocked when she goes and does that and in most likelihood has an easier time in finding a willing participant. I have no interest in doing that or presenting it that way, or putting it plainly her having sex with other people, so it’s not open for her.
I understand words are important, but outside of the wording, her caveat seems reasonable on the face of it, of course if she and you feel that your relationship is otherwise good. It seems she cares about you having your needs met, even if she’s unable or unwilling to address it herself. As an aside I have the same problem with the word affair, I always think of affairs as being more than sexual.
Yeah - these talking heads who keep talking about Trump's "affair" with Stormy Daniels drive me nuts.
Great insight, and well worded, my dear. You pretty much nailed it from both a man's and woman's perspective.Just gonna throw a few thoughts or things to ponder from my ( women's) perspective
* Menopause, women's hormones reduce to 1% of what we used to have (for the most part) Imagine cutting your testicles off. Men, testosterone, really doesn't change a whole bunch. A healthy male will produce testosterone and get wood, even into their 80's and 90's! Our vaginas dry up and turn to crepe paper.
* Once hormones are gone, our brains don't miss sex, it's awful
* I would think most women don't realize that when our sex drive disappears and when we turn down our men's sexual asks, that rejection REALLY hurts them mentally.
* I never realized or understood how important sex is to the husband and a marriage. Men and sex = feeling wanted, needed, intimacy, requirement to be happy.
My personal experience with menopause has been a fucking rollercoaster. My family and myself have suffered some tough times.
Communication and understanding is key. Just some thoughts from a random old lady. Please note this is not gospel...every situation is different.
I really does not help in the long run. Nothing replaces skin to skin contact, a deep passionate kiss, cunnilingus, fellatio and good old cock to vagina intercourse.
Agreed. The term, and the activities and circumstances associated with it, in my view, are bigger and more emotional than just sex.
Affair, to me, has feelings.
Proud of you for leaving! Those relatives should have their noses rubbed in their ignorance. For me, even accepting a reluctant "mercy fuck" from my wife would be the equivalent of forcing myself on her, and the idea of it sickens me. I'm not interested in anything less than a fully willing partner who WANTS to engage in sex with me. I have "creative" ideas of what should be done with rapists.
I am there as well. Haven’t had sex in 14 years
Thank you - indeed, it destroys the intimate closeness and impacts on what otherwise is a good relationship
I made the jump almost three years ago. It's lonely sometimes (I'll never get used to eating alone) but less lonely than it was in my marriage and life's different when you've only got half your worldly goods lol. But, every day is another day full of choice and opportunities. I wish you well.
Be careful with your depression. I have lived with it since the mid 80s. I had it Under control until I had a heart attack. Then it walked back into my life like a bad nightmare. I still fight with it each day. But I know things can get better. It would help if if there is a way to relieve some stress and sex is a fantastic way. If you need to talk with someone I am always available day or night.
I appreciate it, thankfully my only health issues at 40 is ulcerative colitis. But that doesn't help much either. I appreciate the offer and may have to take you up on it.
