Silent Treatment? Do you belive in it ?

[HottieMama]

Oh... And Bunny is right... For pities sake, it was 8 hours. On a cool down. Not a "punishment". I could see perhaps starting a thread if it had been days... Well ... At least 3 days..
Lets face it ... 8 hours is a bit thin...
*scratches head*
And just for grins...I know what my reaction would be if I were him, after reading this thread... I wonder about his????

If you want to attack her for starting the thread then you might as well attack me because i am the one that suggested that she do it during a private discussion. i thought having CONSTRUCTIVE feedback might be helpful to her.

 

[Homburg]

Now that would be an interesting thread...What you'd do to the bad Dom which previously was with your sub. Perhaps that might scare of them into non jack ass behavior.

Eh, not for me. I'm creative with pain when it comes to using it for pleasure. For that guy, it would just be a vicious fucking beating. I don't take well to abusive motherfuckers taking out their bullying ways on submissive women who have the misfortune of being caught up in an emotional gravity well. It is one of the few things that drives me to violence. The fact that it was done to someone I love makes it far, far worse.

And I won't even go into what will happen if I ever meet the monster/ex-boyfriend that sexually abused her for years when she was in high school. I know about half of the details I need to track him down, and "w" made dead certain that I won't ever find out the rest.

Edit: This sounds like internet machismo. It's not. I don't make threats or play kid games with violent talk. I've seen the results of violence up close and personal, and seen what happens when I let my temper get the better of me. I don't take either lightly. I mention the above because it is something that enrages me, and because, for various reasons mentioned in other threads, my emotions are a bit close to the surface right now, especially in regards to "w". My apologies if these words have offended, and I assure you that it is not normal for me. I chose to not edit it because, well, I didslike posting something and then rescinding it in embarrassment. If I said something, I would prefer to let it stand and take my lumps for it.

 

[Homburg]

I know most submissives will do just about anything, will endure just about anything to avoid being ignored or cut off. Some Doms rub their hand greedily at this prospect knowing the power they have in using this, for me it sort of humbles me in thinking...omg that is a lot of power and responsibility for one person to hold over another....and so I think carefully about the consequences of using that kind of power and what can happen if it is used wrongly.

I can dig your objections, and I understand them and agree with them. It has happened perhaps twice, ever. I understand fully the power I have. I understand completely how fragile submissives can be, and how much such a thing can affect them. I don't do it lightly. Like I said in my post, it is a choice of last resort.

Better to shun her, and show just how serious the offense was, than to leave her. That is the level of issue I'm talking about. This isn't going to happen because my breakfast was late, or because she wore the wrong clothes. If she gets this punishment, it is DIRE. The second time it happened, I had her Contract in my hands and was a heartbeat from tearing it up. I was that serious. I would personally think that a shunning was kinder than dismissing her.

I am humbled daily by submission. I am brought back to earth by it. I consider it a gift daily, and one I cherish. And I don't turn my back on it lightly.

 

[Life_Noir]

If you want to attack her for starting the thread then you might as well attack me because i am the one that suggested that she do it during a private discussion. i thought having CONSTRUCTIVE feedback might be helpful to her.

Ahhh But it wasn't an attack... It WAS however a "You might be over-reacting to something that doesn't seem to be in the realm you seem to ascribe it to.".

And at the risk of posting a disagreement... I will venture the entirely personal opinion that this perhaps might have been best left in the "personal conversation" realm... At least for now.
Why?
Because one, she does seem to be jumping the gun a bit. Seems perhaps to be reading too much into what is going on. .And two, *shrug* I know that as a Dom, and most of the Dom/mes I know, {Again, a personal opinion, and/or anecdotal} would probably not look terribly kindly, or with great acceptance on having this broadcast publicly..
Then again, perhaps he doesn't read here?
*sigh* If he does, then the above may be damaging to her relationship beyond whatever was already going on.

Constructive feedback to what? I answered the question honestly... I only see silence as an acceptable useage under VERY specific circumstances..
And then only in a relationship that operates under specific, previously agreed upon, rules. This is not a comment on the particulars of any one elses relationship.... It is simply my, "as honest as possible" answer to the question.

 

[SubKekiLee]

Firdt off. I have said MANY MANY times I wasnt overreacting and I wasnt very ***clear***** as to why I was getting it or what I had or hadnt done. My D does read my posts here I was getting feedback to see if I was overreacting as for everyone here it was more than 8 hours before he contacted me and we HAD previously discussed that I am not the type of gal who likes to be ignored. I can handle most anything and I dont like to be ignored... as for the reason this thread was started was I just wondered if it was that alot of Dom/mes use this as a form of punishment. I see lots of threads that I think arent the best of threads to start but I do not attack anyone here on this board. As to Bunnys coment about waiting a month of silent treatment for me I WOULDNT wait a month. I do not deal well with that. I appriciate those who gave me some constructive advice and I will use it to the best of my abilities. To those that felt that they needed to attack my integrity I am sorry for starting this thread..

Back to my knees now where I belong

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Wow, lots of judgement going on here. If I use the silent treatment on my sub, I'm being a bad Dom and bad partner? C'mon, we get enough judgement from others on our lifestyle choices, so why get judgemental over each other.

I use it, though I call it shunning, but only when my beloved sub has REALLY screwed up. We have a very caring, sensual, affectionate relationship, and I refuse to hit for punishment generally. I want hitting to be a pleasurable thing, and not associated with wrong-doing. I want my gals to look forward to that sting, not associate it with them being bad. In scene, sure, roleplay will frequently demand that I am punishing them for some alleged wrong-doing, but for actual wrong-doing? No, sorry. hitting is a reward, and something they should enjoy. I'm not going to give a reward to a bad sub.

Shunning usualy involves me expressing my pleasure, some would call it lecturing, then emotional withdrawal and very little talking. I won't say silent treatment, because I will still allow basic minimal communication. I just mak eit painfully clear that I do not wish to speak with her, nor am I interested in speaking with her.

And, yes, as some have stated, it is a punishment on myself as well. That is, however, appropriate. Why? Because I am her Dom. If I am angry at her for failing me, I have to be also aware that part of the reason she failed me was my own fault. I was either lax in her training, or failed to communicate my desires or commands properly. I take responsibility for her failures as often as I do her successes. Hell, I consider myself more to blame for her failures, if anything. As a result, if I am punishing her hard for some major infraction, I need to suffer as well.

Why should I expect her to learn from suffering if I do not make myself learn from suffering too? Additionally, putting her through the hell of emotional shunning, and, yes, it's cruel, I know, is mitigated somewhat by her knowledge that it is rough for me too. To an extent, that probably makes it even worse in some ways, because she knows that I am suffering too and subs are like that. Still, I only use it when dire mistakes are made. Mistakes that are so serious that it is a matter of shun or leave. In those cases, I would rather shun her than take my leave of her. Plain and simple. Call it the punishment of last resort.

And, geeze, mellow out people. If it works for us, and it does work, then why are you judging? I've had a sub use a safeword once while being shunned, as she couldn't stand it (and I'd told her that safewords could be used any time for any reason). You know what I did? I put my arms around her, told her that I loved her, and rocked her to sleep. It's a punishment, not me withdrawing my love from her. Even as pissed as I was, she was still my girl, and nothing could change that. Safeword comes out, and my emotional switches are thrown completely over. I stop being angry and rush to protect, recover, and give care.

i was in no way saying that You are a bad Dom for using the 'silent treatment' all i was saying was it will not work for me and Master. if He were to punish me by ignoring me or not letting me have any communication with Him, by the time He got back, i probably wouldn't be there. i don't think anyone was judging you or anyone else who uses this as punishment we were giving OUR opinions and why it doesn't work for us....i never saw judgments being thrown around.....

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Ahhh But it wasn't an attack... It WAS however a "You might be over-reacting to something that doesn't seem to be in the realm you seem to ascribe it to.".

And at the risk of posting a disagreement... I will venture the entirely personal opinion that this perhaps might have been best left in the "personal conversation" realm... At least for now.
Why?
Because one, she does seem to be jumping the gun a bit. Seems perhaps to be reading too much into what is going on. .And two, *shrug* I know that as a Dom, and most of the Dom/mes I know, {Again, a personal opinion, and/or anecdotal} would probably not look terribly kindly, or with great acceptance on having this broadcast publicly..
Then again, perhaps he doesn't read here?
*sigh* If he does, then the above may be damaging to her relationship beyond whatever was already going on.

Constructive feedback to what? I answered the question honestly... I only see silence as an acceptable useage under VERY specific circumstances..
And then only in a relationship that operates under specific, previously agreed upon, rules. This is not a comment on the particulars of any one elses relationship.... It is simply my, "as honest as possible" answer to the question.

for me, if Master went 8 hours without contacting me, i'd be a mess, no doubt in my mind and i would have probably posted a thread also. would Master have gotten angry at me for posting a thread? i wouldn't think so as i'd hope He'd want me to have some support from people whom i feel are my friends and care about me. i don't understand getting upset over her posting for advice, that's what this board is for. and i also don't think it's jumping the gun. like i said if it were me, and 8 hours had went by without me hearing from Master and i knew HE was upset with me, i would be a complete and total mess.....i probably would have posted the thread after 4 hours...but that's just me...

 

[lil_slave_rose]

"I need to cool off" is a couple of days or so. I'm one of those people who takes awhile to cool off. (I'm a master grudge-holder.) If someone's calling me, texting me, emailing me, whatever, begging me to talk to them during my cooling-off period, it's just going to piss me off more and extend my cooling-off period even longer.

The silent treatment is of longer duration than a few days. B.'s a master of the silent treatment, but I think that comes from a lack of knowing how to deal with problems as they arise as opposed to a need to be malicious. I give him space when he gets in those moods; he eventually snaps out of it.

Eight hours ain't that long, and I don't think it's going to do irreparable damage to anybody's trust. Take the silent treatment for over a month, and then come talk to me. We're still working on the trust-rebuilding thing after that.

8 hours IS a long time for me, and it would do irreparable damage. as for going a month on the silent treatment, i wouldn't be there when He got around to deciding to talk to me again....

 

[HottieMama]

for me, if Master went 8 hours without contacting me, i'd be a mess, no doubt in my mind and i would have probably posted a thread also. would Master have gotten angry at me for posting a thread? i wouldn't think so as i'd hope He'd want me to have some support from people whom i feel are my friends and care about me. i don't understand getting upset over her posting for advice, that's what this board is for. and i also don't think it's jumping the gun. like i said if it were me, and 8 hours had went by without me hearing from Master and i knew HE was upset with me, i would be a complete and total mess.....i probably would have posted the thread after 4 hours...but that's just me...

rose..it's not just you. It's me too. If i knew LC was mad at me and ignored me for 8 hours when it was our normal "contact time," i would be a mess...a literal sniffling, sobbing mess of a "little one."


skl...i am truly sorry i suggested you post this here, and i hope i did not cause you anymore upset.

 

[littleone77]

skl...i am truly sorry i suggested you post this here, and i hope i did not cause you anymore upset.

Maybe its just me but hasn't it gotten a bit rough on Lit? People seem to be getting more critical, judgemental and opinionated over others in ways that may be hurtful.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Maybe its just me but hasn't it gotten a bit rough on Lit? People seem to be getting more critical, judgemental and opinionated over others in ways that may be hurtful.

no, it's not just you, i've noticed it too. but i think it also has alot to do with the fact that we don't know the expression to go along with the words that are typed. *shrugs* no one should be sorry for posting for advice...i happen to like this thread and it's made it to three pages so she did get some good advice as well....

 

[BiBunny]

Sweet Christ on a cracker, do you people not work or anything? Eight hours is a normal workday. If I had to go around my hands glued to my phone or my computer all the time for hopes that I'd hear from B., I'd shoot myself.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Sweet Christ on a cracker, do you people not work or anything? Eight hours is a normal workday. If I had to go around my hands glued to my phone or my computer all the time for hopes that I'd hear from B., I'd shoot myself.

actually, yes i do work. 8 hours a day. but there is a difference going 8 hours because i'm at work, or going 8 hours without talking to Him because He's mad at me. BiBunny, i've never had disagreements with you, but lately you seem very rude in the way you say things to people. maybe i've missed something along the line but sheesh, what works for you doesn't work for everyone. just because you think 8 hours isn't a long time for someone to give you the silent treatment doesn't mean that others can handle it for even an hour...everyone is different. and as i said me being at work for 8 hours is NOT the same if He's mad at me.

we both work, and we talk when we get the time, we're also on a 3 hour time difference so by the time i get off work we talk for a couple of hours and then He heads off to work and considering it's 3:00 in the morning my time when He gets off i'm in bed by the time He gets home.... so it's not like i sit here on the phone or on the computer 24/7. but if we are in an argument and he just decided He would cut off all communication with me for 8 hours, yea..that would be torture to me, and luckily He would never do this as He knows the shape it would leave me in.

 

[littleone77]

no, it's not just you, i've noticed it too. but i think it also has alot to do with the fact that we don't know the expression to go along with the words that are typed. *shrugs* no one should be sorry for posting for advice...i happen to like this thread and it's made it to three pages so she did get some good advice as well....

*nods* Thanks Rose. I've been on Lit for a yearish now and my posting has been cut way back. Partly because people are so harsh and I've had enough for those who seem to be here only for selfish purposes. Anyhow, despite all the pettiness on Lit at least some people are getting advice.

*poof*

 

[lil_slave_rose]

*nods* Thanks Rose. I've been on Lit for a yearish now and my posting has been cut way back. Partly because people are so harsh and I've had enough for those who seem to be here only for selfish purposes. Anyhow, despite all the pettiness on Lit at least some people are getting advice.

*poof*

*nods* my posts have been lessened also, mainly because i've been really busy but a big part of it is also what you just said. so i mainly just read the threads after work and chime in whenever i have the urge....used to be i'd chime in on just about every thread...*shrugs* i still love everyone here though and i do think that alot of good advice is still given regardless of the harsh posts...

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Just wait till y'all have been here as long as I have. These things tend to come in cycles.

 

[SubKekiLee]

Sweet Christ on a cracker, do you people not work or anything? Eight hours is a normal workday. If I had to go around my hands glued to my phone or my computer all the time for hopes that I'd hear from B., I'd shoot myself.

OK.. Here is the situation.. I wasnt commenting on that it had only been 8 hours hell I was at work the entire time.. BUT when it is supposed to be time to speak espically when you are on time constraint. I came here for some advice and looks like I got some advice, some people made fun of me, people who I thought I could trust obviously, I mistrusted them as being so called friends. I came here to see if it was something I wasnt seeing but now that he has emailed me and told me what I did and why he did it now I understand I am just like ROse and HM and yes to me 8 hours is a long time not knowing how someone is feeling and trying to work it out , I dont LIKE drama or discord Im not a drama type of girl... most of the time I keep to myself... like I said before to those who gave me good thoughts thank you from the bottom of my heart to those who wanted to make fun of me remember who you chastized karma is a real BITCH....

 

[BiBunny]

actually, yes i do work. 8 hours a day. but there is a difference going 8 hours because i'm at work, or going 8 hours without talking to Him because He's mad at me. BiBunny, i've never had disagreements with you, but lately you seem very rude in the way you say things to people. maybe i've missed something along the line but sheesh, what works for you doesn't work for everyone. just because you think 8 hours isn't a long time for someone to give you the silent treatment doesn't mean that others can handle it for even an hour...everyone is different. and as i said me being at work for 8 hours is NOT the same if He's mad at me.

we both work, and we talk when we get the time, we're also on a 3 hour time difference so by the time i get off work we talk for a couple of hours and then He heads off to work and considering it's 3:00 in the morning my time when He gets off i'm in bed by the time He gets home.... so it's not like i sit here on the phone or on the computer 24/7. but if we are in an argument and he just decided He would cut off all communication with me for 8 hours, yea..that would be torture to me, and luckily He would never do this as He knows the shape it would leave me in.

Yes, I'm a bitch. I never claimed not to be.

I never said folks should do things the way I do it. I don't really care what other people do. It's just annoying as hell that every time somebody doesn't do exactly what the Saran Wrap Sub Brigade thinks they should do, they're called cruel or whatever. Maybe the poor guy just needed a damn break. I know my initial reaction when someone pushes me is to withdraw. The perversity of human nature, I suppose.

I just don't understand the need to blow sunshine up someone's ass all the time. Things come up. The most responsible of people are going to be stranded somewhere where they don't have cell phone service, or they're going to get stuck in a meeting that lasts way longer than it should, or something. Yeah, sometimes B. will fire me a two-line email that says something like, "Hey, I'm going to have to work 12-hour days for the next week. I won't talk to you 'til this time next week. I'm sorry." It sucks. I hate it, but I don't make mountains out of molehills.

Sometimes people need time to themselves. Sometimes the harder you push someone to get that person to talk to you, the harder they're going to try to avoid you. Seriously, you're not going to die if Mr. Perfect doesn't call you every hour on the hour, and he's not a cruel, selfish bastard because he needs his space. Shrewish behavior pisses most people off. If you're shrewish long enough, he's either gotta take some time to himself, or you're going to be even more upset when he spills everything that's on his mind. Every damn body in the world doesn't subscribe to the touchy-feely form of D/s that most subs on this board represent. That doesn't make them cruel.

/off soapbox

I'm done with this.

 

[EmpressFi]

I showed the original post to Master and his answer was.. "because denial of contact is the most serious punishment a Dom has"

I dont think in the year that we've been together that he's ever been angry with me or upset/disappointed with me enough to cut himself off from me. However, I'm usually the one who needs a cooling off period if I get that angry. I've learned over the years that when I'm angry, my gut reaction is to lashout and hurt the person I'm angry with before they can hurt me... and knowing this, I also know that if I'm given some time to be by myself and cool down, I can discuss things rationally.

Like Rose, and others, we're in a LDR and we both work 8 or more hours a day. We're only 1 hour apart time-zone wise, so that helps as does Yahoo. We're in IM's talking almost all day. But I also am honest with myself enough to know that if he stopped talking to me because he was angry with me, I would be a wreck. I would have all sorts of wild thoughts going through my head... that he was leaving me or didnt love me... or... after 8 hours, I'd probably be begging him to forgive me and talk to me again.

It's been said several times.. but everyone's different. What might be trivial to some, is heartbreaking to others, and we just need to respect that and try not to judge how someone should respond with how we would respond

 

[SubKekiLee]

AMEN!!!! YES thank you... WE are all different people and that means emotionally, physically, etc..... and we all expect different things...

Empress-
yes that what MyD said is he suffers as well but it is the way for me to know what I did was very serious and Im not going into what I actually did or didnt do.. but now it makes SENSE...

I dont think anyone should judge anyone everyone is who they are cause of that and that individualty makes us who we are...

Just like what you like to do sexually everyone gets off on different things but that doesnt make you more perverse or less more D/s or less it makes you Who YOU are and why your Dom/Domme loves you... or in any case why your Slave/Sub loves you

Like I said I dont chastize anyone here and if I started a WW3 I apologize.....

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Yes, I'm a bitch. I never claimed not to be.

I never said folks should do things the way I do it. I don't really care what other people do. It's just annoying as hell that every time somebody doesn't do exactly what the Saran Wrap Sub Brigade thinks they should do, they're called cruel or whatever. Maybe the poor guy just needed a damn break. I know my initial reaction when someone pushes me is to withdraw. The perversity of human nature, I suppose.

I just don't understand the need to blow sunshine up someone's ass all the time. Things come up. The most responsible of people are going to be stranded somewhere where they don't have cell phone service, or they're going to get stuck in a meeting that lasts way longer than it should, or something. Yeah, sometimes B. will fire me a two-line email that says something like, "Hey, I'm going to have to work 12-hour days for the next week. I won't talk to you 'til this time next week. I'm sorry." It sucks. I hate it, but I don't make mountains out of molehills.

Sometimes people need time to themselves. Sometimes the harder you push someone to get that person to talk to you, the harder they're going to try to avoid you. Seriously, you're not going to die if Mr. Perfect doesn't call you every hour on the hour, and he's not a cruel, selfish bastard because he needs his space. Shrewish behavior pisses most people off. If you're shrewish long enough, he's either gotta take some time to himself, or you're going to be even more upset when he spills everything that's on his mind. Every damn body in the world doesn't subscribe to the touchy-feely form of D/s that most subs on this board represent. That doesn't make them cruel.

/off soapbox

I'm done with this.

first off, again you are coming off very rude, self absorbed and it's obvious you didn't even pay attention to anything the OP said. she isn't talking about the fact that He's at work, or that He just needs space, she's saying that HE is mad at her and has not contacted her and she is upset, hurt, sad, confused etc...all i'm saying is maybe there is a way to say things that are not so harsh, BiBunny, i mean good god, i remember a time that you had a thread about B (i believe it was B anyway) where you were basically all a mess also and you got the same "blowin sunshine up someone's ass" responses. you got the "awww BiBunny, i'm sorry, He's an ass....blah blah blah" i'm not understanding why the response has to be so hateful. and i realize not everyone lives this lifestyle the same way, but it just seems to me we could be a little more supportive when someone is feeling down.

the thread was started as a discussion about the silent treatment, just to get a conversation going on it and see what other people's opinions, thoughts, feelings, etc..were. so that maybe it would make her own situation make a little more sense to her. i thought that's what this board was for..apparently i was wrong....

 

[BiBunny]

first off, again you are coming off very rude, self absorbed and it's obvious you didn't even pay attention to anything the OP said. she isn't talking about the fact that He's at work, or that He just needs space, she's saying that HE is mad at her and has not contacted her and she is upset, hurt, sad, confused etc...all i'm saying is maybe there is a way to say things that are not so harsh, BiBunny, i mean good god, i remember a time that you had a thread about B (i believe it was B anyway) where you were basically all a mess also and you got the same "blowin sunshine up someone's ass" responses. you got the "awww BiBunny, i'm sorry, He's an ass....blah blah blah" i'm not understanding why the response has to be so hateful. and i realize not everyone lives this lifestyle the same way, but it just seems to me we could be a little more supportive when someone is feeling down.

the thread was started as a discussion about the silent treatment, just to get a conversation going on it and see what other people's opinions, thoughts, feelings, etc..were. so that maybe it would make her own situation make a little more sense to her. i thought that's what this board was for..apparently i was wrong....

As a matter of fact, I did read. I pointed out that things happen. What do you people who have to talk to your Doms all the time do when things happen? Run around like chickens with their heads cut off until you get your Dom fix? I also pointed out that when tempers are high, some people need space to cool off. In my mind, the kindest thing for him to do is to go away for awhile. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure he'd have said something really hurtful. I don't about you, but I'd rather have several hours of nothingness than ten minutes of diatribe.

And you can bring my relationship with B. into question if you like. You won't be the first person to do so. It's taken me a long time, but I've realized that if you really want to be owned by another, then you have two options when that person does something you dislike/disagree with/whatever. You can either suck it up and deal with it, or you can rethink the nature of your association with that person. I chose to deal with it because I love him despite his screw-ups. I'm often told I'm not *really* a submissive, but I do know this. Submission is NOT an easy road, and it's NOT about what the submissive wants, no matter how much people like to believe otherwise.

Nobody, SKL included, really knows what's in her Dom's head right now. To brand him as cruel when we don't know what's in his heart is jumping the gun. Sorry to burst everyone's bubbles, but it seems to me that he's human and having a perfectly human reaction to a shitty situation. The reality of D/s is that it's not some storybook fantasy with god-like characters. Subs screw up; Doms screw up. Relationships get rocky. But...submissives submit. Dominants dominate. In the end, no matter how much we want to talk it through, that's what it comes down to. I apologize if the reality check is not what everyone wanted to hear.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Silence sometimes is not only golden but prudent from another 'pyl' perspective .....

It works both ways, I can state with absolute personal certainty that the majority of dominants I know and have been familiar with over extensive time frames that lay foundations in consistency of character, trust and respect would never entertain public admissions that concern their privacy on a public board or anywhere else for that matter. This is also not a matter of better or worse, it's a sincere representation on my part.

The containment of privacy issues are worthy of consideration. Keeping this in mind it's quite possible that their pyl may have to contain concerns until such a time reconciliation is made with their dominant first and exclusively. Perceived suffering by the pyl part of the D/s equation can mean contending with negative emotions singularly. There remains a small margin for well trusted friends to be supportive yet even that can constitute a potential violation of increasingly fine lines. It also draws people on the periphery into contentious grounds.

I'll be very clear, I am not making this post to cast dispersions at any whom have chosen other ways to contend.

So please don't cite it with any inducement to victimization or as has been supported quite often recently 'subbier than thou' attitude . I am not going there, it is no picnic within the context of challenging aspects of D/s which is often attributed with the term merely because a pyl falls outside the arena of what the majority considers reasonable to their own personal expressions/interpretations of often complex power exchange relationships.

 

[SubKekiLee]

As a matter of fact, I did read. I pointed out that things happen. What do you people who have to talk to your Doms all the time do when things happen? Run around like chickens with their heads cut off until you get your Dom fix? I also pointed out that when tempers are high, some people need space to cool off. In my mind, the kindest thing for him to do is to go away for awhile. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure he'd have said something really hurtful. I don't about you, but I'd rather have several hours of nothingness than ten minutes of diatribe.

And you can bring my relationship with B. into question if you like. You won't be the first person to do so. It's taken me a long time, but I've realized that if you really to be owned by another, then you have two options when that person does something you dislike/disagree with/whatever. You can either suck it up and deal with it, or you can rethink the nature of your association with that person. I chose to deal with it because I love him despite his screw-ups. I'm often told I'm not *really* a submissive, but I do know this. Submission is NOT an easy road, and it's NOT about what the submissive wants, no matter how much people like to believe otherwise.

Nobody, SKL included, really knows what's in her Dom's head right now. To brand him as cruel when we don't know what's in his heart is jumping the gun. Sorry to burst everyone's bubbles, but it seems to me that he's human and having a perfectly human reaction to a shitty situation. The reality of D/s is that it's not some storybook fantasy with god-like characters. Subs screw up; Doms screw up. Relationships get rocky. But...submissives submit. Dominants dominate. In the end, no matter how much we want to talk it through, that's what it comes down to. I apologize if the reality check is not what everyone wanted to hear.

OMG how many times do I have to FRIGGIN point this out... YES I screwed up but at the time I DID not know what I did.. I do NOT need to own his every minute and to be completely honest ive gone longer.. DO I LIKE IT? no does it SUPERCEDE that I want out NO... I wanted an anwser and I finally got it.. Jesus F christ...I never said he was CRUEL.. I said I dont like it but I submitted to him I CHOOSE this life.. Who am I to complain? I Wasnt complaining in my original post I was asking for advice... Bunny what blows my mind in this whole thing? Ive never said a mean thing about you, kitty or B or anyone close to you... Ive stuck up for you without really knowing you although I wanted to get to know you... I trusted you and chatted with you and you seemed to be my "friend" but I guess it was a fair weather friend or I said or did something but do you have to keep blasting me. ???? EVERYONE is ENTITLED to thier OPINION and you shared yours.. NOW get off your Friggin SOAP box.. Im fine... Like I said before ... I got some advice and I got ridiculed If I were one of those drama type girls.. SHIT i would have jumped off a bridge with some of the responses and PM's I got but since I am not IM FINE IM FINE IM FINE shit! < jumping up and down > can I get off this friggin ride Im sorry I started this thread

 

[BiBunny]

OMG how many times do I have to FRIGGIN point this out... YES I screwed up but at the time I DID not know what I did.. I do NOT need to own his every minute and to be completely honest ive gone longer.. DO I LIKE IT? no does it SUPERCEDE that I want out NO... I wanted an anwser and I finally got it.. Jesus F christ...I never said he was CRUEL.. I said I dont like it but I submitted to him I CHOOSE this life.. Who am I to complain? I Wasnt complaining in my original post I was asking for advice... Bunny what blows my mind in this whole thing? Ive never said a mean thing about you, kitty or B or anyone close to you... Ive stuck up for you without really knowing you although I wanted to get to know you... I trusted you and chatted with you and you seemed to be my "friend" but I guess it was a fair weather friend or I said or did something but do you have to keep blasting me. ???? EVERYONE is ENTITLED to thier OPINION and you shared yours.. NOW get off your Friggin SOAP box.. Im fine... Like I said before ... I got some advice and I got ridiculed If I were one of those drama type girls.. SHIT i would have jumped off a bridge with some of the responses and PM's I got but since I am not IM FINE IM FINE IM FINE shit! < jumping up and down > can I get off this friggin ride Im sorry I started this thread

Um...wow.

Because I don't agree with you, I'm not your friend anymore? And you don't like drama?

Just...wow.

I don't think there's anything else to say because everyone has totally missed my point (again).