Similies - fill in the blank

[Svenskaflicka]

As timid as...
a newbie.

 

[Octavian]

As timid as.....

....Mike Tyson, when he is a tad tetchy.

Octavian

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: As bold as.....

Not possible. Garderobes do not back up until there is a pile of ordure tens of metres high which is unlikely because ordure slumps over the landscape. T'would take a regiment on a fibre rich diet a year to "back up" a garderobe, ma'am.
Og

Let's see........ The derivative of the fiber content of the meals, integral of the 'slump factor,' height of the garderobe seat, square root of the number of men in the regiment, volume of average effluent per day, dimensions of chute ............. Yes, I think it could be calculated.
MG

 

[wildsweetone]

before MG goes ahead and calculates it...

.







As quiet as...

 

[Svenskaflicka]

As quiet as...

...an elf tip-toing in sandals.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Re: Re: Re: As bold as.....

Let's see........ The derivative of the fiber content of the meals, integral of the 'slump factor,' height of the garderobe seat, square root of the number of men in the regiment, volume of average effluent per day, dimensions of chute ............. Yes, I think it could be calculated.
MG

Not all garderobes were enclosed. Often the seat of ease juist projected over the wall so that the crap just fell outside the wall, often into a moat if the castle had one. I think that totally enclosed privies, akin to elevated out-houses, would have been rather too smelly. I do recall hearing of one seige however where the invaders gained access to the castle by climbing up through an abandonef waste shaft. It must have been on the History Channel

Even if it were enclosed, however, it's doubtful that they would have filled it up. A good 75-80& of feces is water. (BTW, about half the mass of feces is composed of intestinal bacteria.)

I read a book where the narrator spend two months as a fire lookout in NE Washington State and he had an outdoor privy of the hole-over-th-void-type. As he trudged back down the mountain after his stint he passed his pile of waste and reported that it was about the size of a baby.

Thought you'd like to know.


---dr.M.

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

As quiet as ...

... a mimed whisper

 

[Svenskaflicka]

As quiet as...
...the inside of a coffin.

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Re: Re: As bold as.....

about half the mass of feces is composed of intestinal bacteria.

Dear Dr M,
Yes, E coli is not an endangered specie.
Sharon

 

[wildsweetone]

I'd appreciate it if this thread could be kept for Similies or variations thereof. There is enough discussion of faeces etc elsewhere, thanks.

 

[wildsweetone]

.




As rough as...

 

[wildsweetone]

and if anybody mentions the last time they were constipated then i'm outa here.

 

[jfinn]

.As rough as...

A cat's tongue.

Jayne

 

[Weird Harold]

As quiet as...
...the inside of a coffin.

The only coffin I've ever been in wasn't quiet at all -- I screamed and hollered myself hoarse before the asshole who closed it on me finally let me out.

As rough as...

The back sheet in a package of assorted sandaper that looks like a bucket of gravel glued to a sheet of poster-board and leaves deep gouges that are almost impossible to sand out and ruined almost every woodworking assignment when I took woodshop in junior highschool.

 

[Guest]

As cold as......

My ex-wife when she actually wanted to get back with me...

And I told her no...........


Best day of my life!


I remain,

 

[Octavian]

As rough as....

...the morning after 6 pints of beer and that double brandy that masqueraded as the perfect nightcap.

Octavian

 

[DVS]

and if anybody mentions the last time they were constipated then i'm outa here.

As rough as the last time I ate at Taco Bell. It had nothing to do with being constipated, believe me!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

As rough as...
...the floor of my high school gym.

(If you tripped and fell, the sandpaper-like carpet would just BURN your skin off!)

 

[redrider4u]

.




As rough as...

A used, 3 day old corn cob employed hygenically in an exterior lavatory in the mountains of West Virginia.

 

[oggbashan]

As rough as ...

The sand on the beach when you've been dumped by a huge wave.

Og

 

[Guest]

As rough as
a 3-day old beard
on my muff.

 

[oggbashan]

Beards

As rough as
a 3-day old beard
on my muff.

Make him grow a proper beard. That's as soft as a muff.

Og

 

[WhisperHaven]

as rough as...

hotel linens

 

[TheEarl]

As rough as my knee after a sliding tackle on astroturf whilst playing football.

The Earl

 

[Weird Harold]

As Bright as...?

As bright as a nine-year-old going on twenty-nine