Since most of my friends are on this forum...

[BeachMomma]

I'll snuggle under the doona with you anytime Sweets! What's a doona?

We can give each other mani's, pedi's, facials, and massages too.

Yes, I know the boys' minds are in the gutter right now. Game, set, match.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I've got the wine! Well... I mean, I'm about to finish a bottle but I've got more!

Can we snuggle under the doona, and paint each other's toenails?

*squirt*

 

[BeachMomma]

hahahahhah whats a doona

I have two words for you Little Miss Smart Ass.

Graham Crackers.

 

[BeachMomma]

Does her best Oprah impression...

SLUUUUUUMMMMMBER PARRRRRRRRTY!

*digs out my tiniest baby doll nightie*

 

[BeachMomma]

Touche!!



Brown chicken brown cow!

Are you calling me a chicken? Or a cow?

*warming up e-bitch face*

 

[BeachMomma]

Oh no no no, neither my friend, neither.

*looks for more wine*

Hahahahaha!

I discovered a new flavored vodka I just have to try. S'mores vodka. I even found a page of recipes.

Somebody please remind me tonight that I have to work tomorrow and cut me off at three drinks. Two if I drunk text ya.

 

[Emerson40]

What's a doona?

That's broken Italian, isn't it?

As in: "Doona make a talk 'bout pajama parties anda pillow fightsa. Itsa goona make pmann squirta. Thatsa all itsa goona take to make that cawka go offa."

 

[Emerson40]

 

[BeachMomma]

I guess it's time for an update. It's been pretty *Q word* lately. I guess that's changing. (For those of you fortunate enough not to work in health care, the Q word is quiet. Damn, I jinxed myself already.)

On the health front I've been eating nitro lately like it's candy. Lots of chest pain. Nothing serious enough or persistent enough to send my stubborn ass to the ER, but enough that I make a run for the nitro and baby aspirin bottles. My cardiologist is not amused; neither am I. Fuckin shit. I'm tired of it.

On the home front: I have a new roommate. A man. Yeah, don't get your hopes up. I love him to pieces, but he likes dick as much as I do. Yeah.

He's the sweetest damn man. Of course he'd be gay! When I work, he has a drink ready for me as soon as I walk in the door - and dinner ready! When we both work, we ride together. He's definitely a keeper! If I only had a dick. (Isn't that a song from The Wizard of Oz or something?)

Within a few days of living here, he noticed that I eat grape tomatoes by the handful. Yesterday, he turned on the light on the lanai - to show me the grape tomato vine that he potted and put outside for me. Good Lord in heaven, he's the sweetest man I've ever known!

I got some news today. I made a dive for the vodka bottle. You guessed right; it wasn't good. I feel hurt, betrayed, and a few other emotions that if I go there, I'll start crying again. The bottom line is.....the only possible therapy is alcohol therapy, and I'm already drunk. I took a left at plastered, and I can see the lights of three sheets to the wind. Please ignore any drunken texts, posts, or IMs. I promise I'll see things more clearly in the morning. Maybe. I hope.

(((((((((ETOH therapy)))))))))

 

[Emerson40]

I guess it's time for an update. It's been pretty *Q word* lately. I guess that's changing. (For those of you fortunate enough not to work in health care, the Q word is quiet. Damn, I jinxed myself already.)

On the health front I've been eating nitro lately like it's candy. Lots of chest pain. Nothing serious enough or persistent enough to send my stubborn ass to the ER, but enough that I make a run for the nitro and baby aspirin bottles. My cardiologist is not amused; neither am I. Fuckin shit. I'm tired of it.

On the home front: I have a new roommate. A man. Yeah, don't get your hopes up. I love him to pieces, but he likes dick as much as I do. Yeah.

He's the sweetest damn man. Of course he'd be gay! When I work, he has a drink ready for me as soon as I walk in the door - and dinner ready! When we both work, we ride together. He's definitely a keeper! If I only had a dick. (Isn't that a song from The Wizard of Oz or something?)

Within a few days of living here, he noticed that I eat grape tomatoes by the handful. Yesterday, he turned on the light on the lanai - to show me the grape tomato vine that he potted and put outside for me. Good Lord in heaven, he's the sweetest man I've ever known!

I got some news today. I made a dive for the vodka bottle. You guessed right; it wasn't good. I feel hurt, betrayed, and a few other emotions that if I go there, I'll start crying again. The bottom line is.....the only possible therapy is alcohol therapy, and I'm already drunk. I took a left at plastered, and I can see the lights of three sheets to the wind. Please ignore any drunken texts, posts, or IMs. I promise I'll see things more clearly in the morning. Maybe. I hope.

(((((((((ETOH therapy)))))))))

Hey it's Beach Lady!

Drunky Wunky Beach Lady, sure. BUUUUT, Beach Lady!

WOOT! WOOT!

Nitro, Gay dudes, Grape Tomatoes, and Voddie... You are gonna make some girl jealous here.

Seriously though, I've made room in my Inbox for you, and I'm covered for any damage done due to drinkin' and messagin'.

 

[Emerson40]

I dreamt about you last night Beachy. We were sitting onthe floor in some library eating coconuts and talking about doing the Sound of Music tour in Salzburg.

WTF

For the record a lot of dreams I have do come true, so you best start planning the itinerary.

*pmann searches inappropriate "coconut" recipes online and starts practicing von Trapp classics on his air guitar*

 

[Saucyminx]

Beachy,

I shall raise my own glass in your honor this evening, but think I'm going for gin. Big hugs to you.

Gay men are the best. I got to see my own "non-sexual life partner" the other day and he brought me flowers. Only man in my life who every has.

And I would totally pay to see you and RS in a Sound of Music Tour. I would even film. . . or film anything else y'all may want to do too. Nudge nudge wink wink.

 

[Emerson40]

He's one of my favourite things. (See what I did there?)

I did, cause when you simply remember your favorite things, then you don't feel so bad.

 

[BeachMomma]

Hey it's Beach Lady!

Drunky Wunky Beach Lady, sure. BUUUUT, Beach Lady!

WOOT! WOOT!

Nitro, Gay dudes, Grape Tomatoes, and Voddie... You are gonna make some girl jealous here.

Seriously though, I've made room in my Inbox for you, and I'm covered for any damage done due to drinkin' and messagin'.

Em, I fucking love you! *big wet kiss*

 

[BeachMomma]

I dreamt about you last night Beachy. We were sitting onthe floor in some library eating coconuts and talking about doing the Sound of Music tour in Salzburg.

WTF

For the record a lot of dreams I have do come true, so you best start planning the itinerary.

I hope you don't mind that I can't sing for shit, I only know 2 words in German and one phrase in Swesish, ......Swedish? WTFE. And I couldn't play a guitar if my life depended on it. I play paino tho! *closes one eye and tlits head to heft.* Pinao. Piano. Dammit! WTFE. *CLINK1*

 

[BeachMomma]

Beachy,

I shall raise my own glass in your honor this evening, but think I'm going for gin. Big hugs to you.

Gay men are the best. I got to see my own "non-sexual life partner" the other day and he brought me flowers. Only man in my life who every has.

And I would totally pay to see you and RS in a Sound of Music Tour. I would even film. . . or film anything else y'all may want to do too. Nudge nudge wink wink.

Sugar, if you're gonn aplay cameraman, we should make it good! We could probably make a killing off of it!

 

[BeachMomma]

Boozing? For ME?!? Now that's a real friend! Especially since it's somewhere in the vicinity of 0700-0900 where you are. On a (err, what day is this again?) Tuesday! Yeah. That's it! It's Tuesday am where you are.

That's a TRUE goddamned firend! I love ya, Rainy!

 

[Emerson40]

Em, I fucking love you! *big wet kiss*

Well *blushes*, that's prolly the booze talkin', but grande kisses of the moist variety are not shown the door round these parts.



I hope you're well Beachy. I'm raising a Guinness to the Southeast right now, Sláinte.

FYI - I don't think that song appeared in any of the OZ flicks, but you should ease off the cups if you find you're only singing that tune. I would push back from the bar if I stopped thinking about boobs and started thinking about having boobs. It's one of those unwritten life rules, like not getting a penis tattoo bigger than your own penis.

 

[BeachMomma]

Well *blushes*, that's prolly the booze talkin', but grande kisses of the moist variety are not shown the door round these parts.



I hope you're well Beachy. I'm raising a Guinness to the Southeast right now, Sláinte.

FYI - I don't think that song appeared in any of the OZ flicks, but you should ease off the cups if you find you're only singing that tune. I would push back from the bar if I stopped thinking about boobs and started thinking about having boobs. It's one of those unwritten life rules, like not getting a penis tattoo bigger than your own penis.

I love being a chick too much to *really* want a penis. Peni? WTFE. (I'm saying WTFE a lot tonight.)

You guys are fucking awesome. I don't care what anybody says about y'al. You're the best in my book!

Who the fuck would get a tattoo bigger than his own penis anyway? A moron? Someboyd sufferin from.....fuck. I forgt the personality disorders. You know what I mena thosgh.

This window has a helluva lot of red in it. Maybe I should jut sut up and pass out

 

[Emerson40]

I love being a chick too much to *really* want a penis. Peni? WTFE. (I'm saying WTFE a lot tonight.)

You guys are fucking awesome. I don't care what anybody says about y'al. You're the best in my book!

Who the fuck would get a tattoo bigger than his own penis anyway? A moron? Someboyd sufferin from.....fuck. I forgt the personality disorders. You know what I mena thosgh.

This window has a helluva lot of red in it. Maybe I should jut sut up and pass out

He-heh... Peni. I'm rubbin' off on ya (see what I did there Rainy?) Beachy.

Peni. Yeah, you can borrow it.


For the record, and my own personal enjoyment, I am reading all your "WTFE"s as What The Fuck Emerson? tonight.

As for the red in the window, are you looking at your new grape tomatoes?

 

[BeachMomma]

LMFAO! I just realized it's Tuesday here. (It throws me off when I only work Mondays.) That means it's.....MTW....WEDNESDAY! there! Yeah! That's it! Wednesday!

WTFE. I love you guys! (And I love autocorrect too - but only when it's convenient to love auto-correct!)

 

[BeachMomma]

He-heh... Peni. I'm rubbin' off on ya (see what I did there Rainy?) Beachy.

Peni. Yeah, you can borrow it.


For the record, and my own personal enjoyment, I am reading all your "WTFE"s as What The Fuck Emerson? tonight.

As for the red in the window, are you looking at your new grape tomatoes?

Oh yeah, baby. Rub off on me. That's so hot! *batting eyelashes sweetly*

Sugar, I think I know the combination to pretty much any favor I'd ever want to ask of you. Not that I'm spilling the beans! At leat nog tonight! (I'm not *that* drunk. Yet. )

I dunno where the hell they went, but I saw a metric fuck ton of red editing marks on my screen. Fuck it. I don't give a flying fuck.

Did someone mention flying and fucking? Mile high club? COUNT ME IN!

 

[Saucyminx]

I even broke out the mustache mug.

 

[BeachMomma]

Too fucking cool!

Cheers!

 

[BeachMomma]

Good Lord have mercy! I was fucked up last night! I love you guys! Y'all have the best shoulders for crying on that I could ever ask for.

Just for the record, I'm not crying anymore. I'm pissed as all motherfucking hell. A few people are going to want me to go back to crying Beachy before this is over. It should be a quite entertaining show. And y'all get complimentary front row seats.