Sph / tiny penis fetish

[Dapperguy]

Every woman I’ve plunged into have appreciated my eight inch-er. They moan and wail like a injured animal as they shoot their juices over my balls. I don’t think a short cock would satisfy any of these whores.

 

[policywank]

I do fear impotence, and in spite of my smallness, I do take pride and delight in my erections. Although I am forbidden from ejaculating without permission, most every day I do achieve one or more erections. She has never seriously considered putting me in a device, as “the honor system” has worked for us. Part of me desires that level of control, but I love experiencing erections. I actually think it requires more self-control and devotion to have the freedom to jerk off, but not to so because of my promise to HER.

As to losing any more size … no thank you!

For us the cock cage is more symbolic than utilitarian. It is the evidence of my claim on and dominion over him, a demonstration of his unique and valued role as my cuckold and the instrument that compels him to continue to refine and improve the other ways in which he gives me sexual pleasure.

If it wasn't there he would be on the honour system.

As we know a submissive man submits because he wants to. If he wanted to remove the cage he could just get some bolt cutters or not submit to having it put on in the first place. The same in view applies to the whole practice of small penis humiliation. It may have the appearance of a woman "imposing" on a man but the truth is that he is w willing and enthusiastic participant. Even to the extent that we push a man's limits it is because that is part of the dominant's role and one which the submissive enjoys.

Every man here who engages in this fetish likes being reminded of how his little or barely average penis is not adequate or at least not optimal for female pleasure. I enjoy giving them what they need, knowing that I am really just telling the truth. The fact that it benefits women for more men to understand their limitations is a bonus.

 

[policywank]

I am more or less average in the cock size department. But as my wife once asked me why would you think women want average? Do you want an average looking woman with whom you have average sexual experiences? Of course it isn't all about size so what is deemed average in size may be the ideal fit for some women. That depends upon the woman. And she is really who sets the reference points not some text book study of average cock size. My wife likes larger cocks. Almost all of her lovers are more well endowed than I am. Those that aren't need to have something special going on otherwise. Frankly I think a lot more women feel this way than they admit - as an analogy I think that the average male height is 5'9" but if you ask most women their preference it will be more like 6'0". My wife is a size queen so to her I am small. But her view is that even of women who aren't so size oriented the preferred is still somewhat above average. No matter what they say most women are very well attune to enjoying a thick 7"-8" cock and will say it was a uniquely pleasurable experience relative to average.

I think that female feedback on penis size is like our feedback on most sexual topics - we moderate and obfuscate somewhat to avoid giving offence and awkward interactions. Seriously even if we are more inclined to be fully honest about it after the 3rd or 10th or 100th time asked we are just thinking "tell me what you need to hear so that you can shut the fuck up about it."

Obviously there is a range of preferences and there is someone for every possibility. But on balance when it comes to female pleasure there is a scale upon which bigger is better up to a point, then past that point it is too much. Anecdotally if a woman says she prefers average she probably means 5"-7", which is a range that skews a little more to above average. And if she is being honest she prefers the 7" to the 5", ideally with some healthy girth. Now parse that to take out the parts that serve to assuage male insecurity. What she is really saying is that she prefers 7" and girthy which is anything but average. So how many women see average (say 5.5") as the upper end of the range past which she can't handle it? Very few. Even if she is very small, believe me she can take at least another inch and enjoy it.

Look at it another way. If we asked all women to opine as to their preferred penis size it would not average out to 5.5". Or at least I very much doubt it. Lots of women might say "average". But if we asked them to provide a specific number or a specific range from which we take the mid-point, the proportion of women that would cite a preference for a penis smaller than 5.5" would be minuscule. The practical reality is that 5.5" would be the bottom or close to the bottom end of the range that most women would cite and it would go up from there. There would be a cluster of votes in the 6"-8" range. Then fewer but not an insignificant number above that. And I predict that at every point above the 5.5" average the proportion of women who prefer any given size would exceed the proportion of men who are that size.

As a result, to the extent that penis size is a factor in choosing a sexual partner, men with larger penises will have a substantial advantage in terms of female selection criteria. Men who are 8" may be only 3%-5% of the population but they are the ideal size for a much larger proportion of women. I'd guess 15-20% which means those men enjoy a favourable ratio of 5-to-1. In other words, on this particular criteria there are five women who would cite an 8" cock as their preferred size for everyone one man that actually has a cock that size. Conversely perhaps 30-40% of men are actually the 5.5" average, but the proportion of women who truly prefer that size is more like 15-20%. There are at least two men for every woman who prefers this size.

It is the mismatch between actual average penis size and actual preferred penis size that drives scarcity dynamics for women who prefer larger penises. It isn't that all women prefer big cocks so much as enough do that those guys enjoy a different level of choice and better sexual terms. Guys who are average sized have the opposite dynamic and you boys with your little dicks need to accept the terms given to you.

 

[NancyPan]

Every man here who engages in this fetish likes being reminded of how his little or barely average penis is not adequate or at least not optimal for female pleasure. I enjoy giving them what they need, knowing that I am really just telling the truth. The fact that it benefits women for more men to understand their limitations is a bonus.

For sure! And from the submissive’s POV, a Domme who understands our need for humiliation is to be cherished. My wife is naturally a “kind” person, but she has learned that it is most kind to say things that arouse me. Denying me and telling me it is because she prefers my pussy worship to my “little thing” drives me wild and makes me want to perform for her. I can’t change what nature gave me, but I can make her proud of how I worship her to make up for “it.”

 

[SlutAddicted]

I think that female feedback on penis size is like our feedback on most sexual topics - we moderate and obfuscate somewhat to avoid giving offence and awkward interactions. Seriously even if we are more inclined to be fully honest about it after the 3rd or 10th or 100th time asked we are just thinking "tell me what you need to hear so that you can shut the fuck up about it."

Obviously there is a range of preferences and there is someone for every possibility. But on balance when it comes to female pleasure there is a scale upon which bigger is better up to a point, then past that point it is too much. Anecdotally if a woman says she prefers average she probably means 5"-7", which is a range that skews a little more to above average. And if she is being honest she prefers the 7" to the 5", ideally with some healthy girth. Now parse that to take out the parts that serve to assuage male insecurity. What she is really saying is that she prefers 7" and girthy which is anything but average. So how many women see average (say 5.5") as the upper end of the range past which she can't handle it? Very few. Even if she is very small, believe me she can take at least another inch and enjoy it.

Look at it another way. If we asked all women to opine as to their preferred penis size it would not average out to 5.5". Or at least I very much doubt it. Lots of women might say "average". But if we asked them to provide a specific number or a specific range from which we take the mid-point, the proportion of women that would cite a preference for a penis smaller than 5.5" would be minuscule. The practical reality is that 5.5" would be the bottom or close to the bottom end of the range that most women would cite and it would go up from there. There would be a cluster of votes in the 6"-8" range. Then fewer but not an insignificant number above that. And I predict that at every point above the 5.5" average the proportion of women who prefer any given size would exceed the proportion of men who are that size.

As a result, to the extent that penis size is a factor in choosing a sexual partner, men with larger penises will have a substantial advantage in terms of female selection criteria. Men who are 8" may be only 3%-5% of the population but they are the ideal size for a much larger proportion of women. I'd guess 15-20% which means those men enjoy a favourable ratio of 5-to-1. In other words, on this particular criteria there are five women who would cite an 8" cock as their preferred size for everyone one man that actually has a cock that size. Conversely perhaps 30-40% of men are actually the 5.5" average, but the proportion of women who truly prefer that size is more like 15-20%. There are at least two men for every woman who prefers this size.

It is the mismatch between actual average penis size and actual preferred penis size that drives scarcity dynamics for women who prefer larger penises. It isn't that all women prefer big cocks so much as enough do that those guys enjoy a different level of choice and better sexual terms. Guys who are average sized have the opposite dynamic and you boys with your little dicks need to accept the terms given to you.

This makes sense to me. Plenty of women hook-up with guys for a primarily sexual experience. Obviously one of the factors in choosing those guys is the likely quality of that experience. And while size isn't the only thing that matters it is a factor. As one data point, recent literature indicates that when women cheat it tends to be in pursuit of a better or more varied sexual experience. When those women were asked what the ideal penis size for their lover was on average they indicated about 1-1.5" larger than they did when asked the ideal penis size for a husband.

In other words, if a woman wants to have a no strings attached sexual fling she is substantially less likely to choose a guy with an average or small cock than she is a more well endowed man. Conversely when she is seeking a long-term mate she may not be looking for a guy with a little dick, but penis is size less relevant. And chances are that a more comprehensive and complex set of criteria apply. It isn't a matter of consciously applying different parameters to different guys so much as making an informed decision about seeking what she wants and needs.

Some of us average guys get confused into believing women aren't inclined to embrace a purely sexual experience. The truth is that they are but they choose different men when they do that. Chances are that if we do want a sexually dynamic and engaging woman, she has (or perhaps will) at some point fucked some guy mainly for his sexual prowess or the size of his cock. Then in choosing us for marriage she applied a different set of criteria because we play a different role in her life and sex life. It isn't a question of fairness. She is allowed to want what she wants sexually. So are we. But if we choose a woman primarily due to her lack of such sexual experience that has its own set of sexual implications.

 

[whenagain]

I think that female feedback on penis size is like our feedback on most sexual topics - we moderate and obfuscate somewhat to avoid giving offence and awkward interactions. Seriously even if we are more inclined to be fully honest about it after the 3rd or 10th or 100th time asked we are just thinking "tell me what you need to hear so that you can shut the fuck up about it."

Obviously there is a range of preferences and there is someone for every possibility. But on balance when it comes to female pleasure there is a scale upon which bigger is better up to a point, then past that point it is too much. Anecdotally if a woman says she prefers average she probably means 5"-7", which is a range that skews a little more to above average. And if she is being honest she prefers the 7" to the 5", ideally with some healthy girth. Now parse that to take out the parts that serve to assuage male insecurity. What she is really saying is that she prefers 7" and girthy which is anything but average. So how many women see average (say 5.5") as the upper end of the range past which she can't handle it? Very few. Even if she is very small, believe me she can take at least another inch and enjoy it.

Look at it another way. If we asked all women to opine as to their preferred penis size it would not average out to 5.5". Or at least I very much doubt it. Lots of women might say "average". But if we asked them to provide a specific number or a specific range from which we take the mid-point, the proportion of women that would cite a preference for a penis smaller than 5.5" would be minuscule. The practical reality is that 5.5" would be the bottom or close to the bottom end of the range that most women would cite and it would go up from there. There would be a cluster of votes in the 6"-8" range. Then fewer but not an insignificant number above that. And I predict that at every point above the 5.5" average the proportion of women who prefer any given size would exceed the proportion of men who are that size.

As a result, to the extent that penis size is a factor in choosing a sexual partner, men with larger penises will have a substantial advantage in terms of female selection criteria. Men who are 8" may be only 3%-5% of the population but they are the ideal size for a much larger proportion of women. I'd guess 15-20% which means those men enjoy a favourable ratio of 5-to-1. In other words, on this particular criteria there are five women who would cite an 8" cock as their preferred size for everyone one man that actually has a cock that size. Conversely perhaps 30-40% of men are actually the 5.5" average, but the proportion of women who truly prefer that size is more like 15-20%. There are at least two men for every woman who prefers this size.

It is the mismatch between actual average penis size and actual preferred penis size that drives scarcity dynamics for women who prefer larger penises. It isn't that all women prefer big cocks so much as enough do that those guys enjoy a different level of choice and better sexual terms. Guys who are average sized have the opposite dynamic and you boys with your little dicks need to accept the terms given to you.

I like how your writing can be so analytical— clinical even— and in the last two sentences gets hot and nasty:

 

[betabrad]

I cant help it, sph does turn me on, as long as its not too mean or cruel. I do like being reminded that I am small and most men are bigger. Over the years most women didnt say anything, but I have had a few stifle a snicker the first time they've seen my hard penis, and the times when i've been with a woman more than once, a few of them have pretty much told me to just please them with my tongue. One woman made me wear her panties as she had me lick her pussy and rub myself until she came. After she came she had me kneel in front of her, masturbate into my hand for her and then lick up my cum. That really turned me on.

 

[policywank]

Thank you for your time and effort in contributing to this thread. All of your posts were on point and insightful, but the quotes pasted above particularly resonated with me. This mostly because I found myself unexpectedly enlightened and nodding in agreement as I read them.

You also lay out a great logical case for the benefits and reasons behind the polyamorous cuckold dynamic from the Female perspective. It's refreshing to read this from your perspective.

Your grasp of how the submissive male psyche works is insightful, inspirational, and quite arousing. This because you appear to understand some fundamental aspects of small-dicked and/or submissive men that many of us don't understand about ourselves.

I know that I learned a few things about myself while reading your thoughts on the topic, and (like most males) I fancy myself to be a Smart Cookie. I imagine that to be under your heel and gaze in person might also be appropriately intimidating. Your husband is a lucky man, and I expect your lovers probably feel similarly.

Thank you. I suppose for some men it can be intimidating to be under my heel and gaze, but that is really reserved for those that crave and enjoy that feeling. That in turn is typically closely related to men understanding their place in the sexual hierarchy and wanting to embrace it.

Small dicked men can occupy an important place in a woman's life including her sex life. The problems arise when men try to be something that they are not. When men seek to buffer themselves from the truth they have been conditioned to do so by creating barriers that are tethered to their ego. Removing the barriers affects the ego . Some men would rather keep the barriers up. Others want to take them down gently. And still others want to smash them. That latter group embrace the impact that this approach will have on their ego and embrace the resulting sense of humiliation. Any perceived negative impact can be accompanied by a profound cathartic sense of the embrace of reality and a weight that is lifted by no longer having to fight to maintain a delusion.

In any even the removal of those barriers brings men closer to their own sexuality and the sexually dynamic women that they crave. It also gives those women comfort and latitude to reveal themselves and their true feelings and desires.

 

[sterculius]

My best friend Larry was the first person with whom I had ever had sex, and the first boy, other than myself, whose erect cock I had ever seen, and the impact this had on me was devastating!. Before this, I had no idea that my pathetic little penis was so much smaller than everyone else's. I was forced to immediately come to grips with this reality and to accept my low ranking in the sexual pecking order.
It's impossible to underestimate the importance cock size is to adolescent boys and the impact the realization that my penis was so very small had on my psyche, At the time, I didn't know that Larry's erect cock was, not only much larger than my own puny penis, but also much larger than most other boys as well. I thought everyone else's cock was as big as his.
Larry would routinely tease me about my miniscule endowment and threaten to tell all our friends that I was his Cocksucker and that I would have to blow them also. A few of the scenarios in Larry's father's 8mm stag films that we would avidly watch, featured blowjob scenes with girls sucking off multiple men. I would always identify with the female cocksuckers in these films and I would become aroused imagining myself in their place as the one being roughly but impersonally throat fucked by all these men. In spite of his threats, Larry never did tell our friends that I was a cocksucker, but I often wish he had.
I eventually discovered that not everyone's cock was as big as Larry's was, but by that time the damage had been done and I was forced to accept that the role assigned to me by nature was to orally service men whose cocks were larger than my own, which described almost everyone else.
I knew I wasn't gay, as I have always been aroused by thoughts of sex with women, and my same sex desires only involved sucking cock, but I also knew that with my small penis, I wouldn't be able to fuck women the way the studs in the porn films did, so I decided to specialize in satisfying women orally, similar to the way I did with men.

 

[policywank]

Thank you for the reply. It's probably irrelevant considering the context of this thread, but in choosing the word "intimidated" I meant to imply a sense of awe and reverence that accompanies the dawning awareness or knowledge that you probably know things about how we submissive men tick that we don't know themselves. From my perspective that's very best kind of intimidation. The kind that willingly brings submissive men to their knees and hung alpha bulls to your bed.


Wise words indeed. I'm in my 50s now and it's taken me a lifetime to learn this. One of my biggest life regrets is not learning, or perhaps merely acknowledging it, much sooner. But it takes two to tango, as the old saying goes. I've met many wonderful women under a wide variety of social circumstances during my life. I'm not aware of any that even so much as hinted that they've embraced enlightened views such as those you've eloquently and succinctly expressed here. And I'm certainly aware of many that would refuse to do so even if given the opportunity. Again, your perspective is both refreshing and inspirational. It's wonderful to learn that it's worked so well for you and your husband too. Thank you.

Yes I understand what you mean. I think that whether I am playing the role of dominant or slut or both that pleasing the men I am with requires an understanding of their psyche. Reality is that society's understanding of and perspective on the psyche of both genders is simplistic and often just plain wrong. Many people never look deeper to understand more and even those that do tend to be cautious about challenging or disrupting the preconceptions of others.

Particularly on the topics of virility, submission and small penis size men are often very sensitive and unwilling to see things as they truly are. And women have been conditioned to do the same. So not only is a man whose appropriate role is that of submissive and/or cuckold not willing to see that, but most women don't really think about it either. We just know he isn't suitable to the role that he imagines for himself, which leads to many of the relationship dynamics we hear about regularly.

 

[policywank]

My best friend Larry was the first person with whom I had ever had sex, and the first boy, other than myself, whose erect cock I had ever seen, and the impact this had on me was devastating!. Before this, I had no idea that my pathetic little penis was so much smaller than everyone else's. I was forced to immediately come to grips with this reality and to accept my low ranking in the sexual pecking order.
It's impossible to underestimate the importance cock size is to adolescent boys and the impact the realization that my penis was so very small had on my psyche, At the time, I didn't know that Larry's erect cock was, not only much larger than my own puny penis, but also much larger than most other boys as well. I thought everyone else's cock was as big as his.
Larry would routinely tease me about my miniscule endowment and threaten to tell all our friends that I was his Cocksucker and that I would have to blow them also. A few of the scenarios in Larry's father's 8mm stag films that we would avidly watch, featured blowjob scenes with girls sucking off multiple men. I would always identify with the female cocksuckers in these films and I would become aroused imagining myself in their place as the one being roughly but impersonally throat fucked by all these men. In spite of his threats, Larry never did tell our friends that I was a cocksucker, but I often wish he had.
I eventually discovered that not everyone's cock was as big as Larry's was, but by that time the damage had been done and I was forced to accept that the role assigned to me by nature was to orally service men whose cocks were larger than my own, which described almost everyone else.
I knew I wasn't gay, as I have always been aroused by thoughts of sex with women, and my same sex desires only involved sucking cock, but I also knew that with my small penis, I wouldn't be able to fuck women the way the studs in the porn films did, so I decided to specialize in satisfying women orally, similar to the way I did with men.

It is interesting to contemplate the impact your experience had on your psyche. I tend to think that the male psyche is conditioned towards are certain self image to begin with. That is why less well endowed guys are so sensitive about penis size - because the reality of it stands in opposition to their self image. Your experience with Larry may have altered your self image, but wasn't it already somewhat conditioned by what society tells you that you are supposed to be.

You may not be smaller than average to the degree that you thought you were, but you do have a small dick and it is smaller than what most women prefer. Meanwhile you seem very contented in the role of being a devoted cocksucker with a little dick. Even if Larry did alter your perspective perhaps it was more towards the truth. It sounds like you are better off than you would be if you were just another guy with a little dick who spends his life trying to get women to tell him that size doesn't matter.

 

[Escierto]

Any guy who has played sports or worked out regularly in a gym or other facility has seen enough cocks to have a pretty good idea how he rates. Geez, I have seen hundreds of cocks and while some of them may be growers and not showers, it’s a pretty good sample size. Of course, any guy with an average sized cock wants to be bigger and I am no exception

 

[sterculius]

It is interesting to contemplate the impact your experience had on your psyche. I tend to think that the male psyche is conditioned towards are certain self image to begin with. That is why less well endowed guys are so sensitive about penis size - because the reality of it stands in opposition to their self image. Your experience with Larry may have altered your self image, but wasn't it already somewhat conditioned by what society tells you that you are supposed to be.

You may not be smaller than average to the degree that you thought you were, but you do have a small dick and it is smaller than what most women prefer. Meanwhile you seem very contented in the role of being a devoted cocksucker with a little dick. Even if Larry did alter your perspective perhaps it was more towards the truth. It sounds like you are better off than you would be if you were just another guy with a little dick who spends his life trying to get women to tell him that size doesn't matter.

All of my adult life I have been careful to conceal my same-sex oral activities from the women with whom I have had relationships.
My first wife had no idea that I was a closet cocksucker, in spite of the fact that I regularly gave blowjobs to a next door neighbor and his nephew.
But after many years of dishonesty, I decided to come clean to my current wife and confess to her about my oral obsession.
I revealed my history to her in stages, first telling her about my relationship with my best friend Larry and explaining how I became his personal cocksucker and would suck his cock daily all through high school. She was shocked but ultimately attributed my behavior to adolescent sexual experimentation, which in a way, I guess it was.
Later on, I further admitted to her that as an adult, I continued sucking cock, telling her of my adventures with my next door neighbor and that up until the time we met I would routinely meet with men to suck their cocks, describing in detail having once sucked the cocks of six men at one sitting, one after another, encouraging them all to aggressively fuck my throat.
I further admitted to my wife that I truly loved sucking cock and that I especially loved the slutty way that being a submissive and subservient "Cocksucker" made me feel. I conveniently omitted telling her of my currently ongoing sexual activities.
I'm not sure what effect my revelations will have on our relationship, but I suspect my wife no longer respects me.

 

[NancyPan]

Sterculius, Very, very bad idea to tell her. No benefit to her, only hurt. IMO, selfish to tell her. What is she supposed to do with this information? How could it possibly benefit you for her to know?

 

[SlutAddicted]

Any guy who has played sports or worked out regularly in a gym or other facility has seen enough cocks to have a pretty good idea how he rates. Geez, I have seen hundreds of cocks and while some of them may be growers and not showers, it’s a pretty good sample size. Of course, any guy with an average sized cock wants to be bigger and I am no exception

I think you are correct. Although I would add that I think Policywank is also right about how women see things. What I see as more or less average in the locker room is quite different from my wife's preference.

 

[policywank]

All of my adult life I have been careful to conceal my same-sex oral activities from the women with whom I have had relationships.
My first wife had no idea that I was a closet cocksucker, in spite of the fact that I regularly gave blowjobs to a next door neighbor and his nephew.
But after many years of dishonesty, I decided to come clean to my current wife and confess to her about my oral obsession.
I revealed my history to her in stages, first telling her about my relationship with my best friend Larry and explaining how I became his personal cocksucker and would suck his cock daily all through high school. She was shocked but ultimately attributed my behavior to adolescent sexual experimentation, which in a way, I guess it was.
Later on, I further admitted to her that as an adult, I continued sucking cock, telling her of my adventures with my next door neighbor and that up until the time we met I would routinely meet with men to suck their cocks, describing in detail having once sucked the cocks of six men at one sitting, one after another, encouraging them all to aggressively fuck my throat.
I further admitted to my wife that I truly loved sucking cock and that I especially loved the slutty way that being a submissive and subservient "Cocksucker" made me feel. I conveniently omitted telling her of my currently ongoing sexual activities.
I'm not sure what effect my revelations will have on our relationship, but I suspect my wife no longer respects me.

I'd like to think that we should all respect one another's sexual preferences. The idea that anyone would respect a man less because his predilections don't fit the stereotype of what a man is suppose to be or supposed to want is unfortunate. But it is reality.

Meanwhile it is human nature to want to share who you really are with loved ones. Whether or not it was advisable in the circumstances is of course very personal to you and your wife, but I think that wanting to share your reality is understandable.

 

[Escierto]

I think you are correct. Although I would add that I think Policywank is also right about how women see things. What I see as more or less average in the locker room is quite different from my wife's preference.

I am sure that is true. Having been fucked by two different size cocks, I know that I prefer the larger one. I will say though that the transgender woman with the small cock had a lot of sexual energy and really liked to fuck.

 

[SlutAddicted]

I am sure that is true. Having been fucked by two different size cocks, I know that I prefer the larger one. I will say though that the transgender woman with the small cock had a lot of sexual energy and really liked to fuck.

Absolutely. My wife would be the first to say that it is about more than just size. But all other things being equal she prefers larger than average.

 

[sterculius]

I'd like to think that we should all respect one another's sexual preferences. The idea that anyone would respect a man less because his predilections don't fit the stereotype of what a man is suppose to be or supposed to want is unfortunate. But it is reality.

Meanwhile it is human nature to want to share who you really are with loved ones. Whether or not it was advisable in the circumstances is of course very personal to you and your wife, but I think that wanting to share your reality is understandable.

If my wife no longer respects me as a man because of my confessed oral obsession, I must accept at least a portion of the blame for not having admitted this to her at the outset of our relationship. What I suspect affected her the most though, was when I explained to her that my early experiences of being throat fucked and sexually "used" by my best friend Larry, instilled in me a craving to be denigrated and humiliated by other men. I had told her that whenever we watch blowjob porn, I always identify with the female Cocksucker being throat fucked, and the rougher it is, the more aroused I become.
My wife is well aware of my submissive nature, and enjoys my willingness to orally stimulate her to orgasm. During lovemaking, we have experimented with unorthodox practices and she has penetrated me anally with one of the large dildos that she uses on herself, but I'm afraid my revelations might suggest to her that I am 'gay'.
As you correctly surmise, I'm tired of being dishonest and pretending to be someone I'm not. The question remains of whether my wife is ready to accept as her husband, the person I truly am.
I'm a Cocksucker and I like being a Cocksucker, but is she willing to be the wife of a Cocksucker?

 

[NancyPan]

My comment that it was hurtful and selfish to share this behavior has nothing to do with judging sexual preference (which I do not). For sterculius to tell his wife that he has been, behind her back, providing oral sex to a neighbor (and others) is revelation of an extremely hurtful betrayal. It may soothe his guilt to tell her, but how does it benefit her, and how could it possibly benefit the relationship?

Just like when a spouse decides to unburden themselves by “confessing” a long-concealed affair from the past, the damage to the marriage far exceeds any benefit, and the motivation almost always is to unload guilt (at the expense of the spouse’s trust, loyalty, and sense of well- being).

Some cracks can never be repaired.

 

[sterculius]

My comment that it was hurtful and selfish to share this behavior has nothing to do with judging sexual preference (which I do not). For sterculius to tell his wife that he has been, behind her back, providing oral sex to a neighbor (and others) is revelation of an extremely hurtful betrayal. It may soothe his guilt to tell her, but how does it benefit her, and how could it possibly benefit the relationship?

Just like when a spouse decides to unburden themselves by “confessing” a long-concealed affair from the past, the damage to the marriage far exceeds any benefit, and the motivation almost always is to unload guilt (at the expense of the spouse’s trust, loyalty, and sense of well- being).

Some cracks can never be repaired.

I agree that it was wrong of me to have withheld this critical information from her for so long, but I also feel that she has a right to know such intensely personal information about her husband, albeit so long after the fact. I honestly think that, had the situation been reversed, I would want her to share with me her innermost feelings and intimate experiences as long as she still loves me, as I do her. Better late than never.

 

[NancyPan]

Unfortunately, what you think you would want is not a reliable measure of what is best for her (any more than what you might want for your birthday is not a reliable guide for what to give her). Your choice to tell her does little to benefit her or the marriage and very likely puts you in an extremely precarious position. I feel sad and worried for you both. I understand how strong sexual urges can be, and also how deep the wounds of betrayal penetrate. You are both now in a very difficult situation. I sincerely wish you the best.

 

[NancyPan]

BTW, the thread is about sph and small penis humiliation, not oral sex or infidelity. Can we re-direct?

 

[SlutAddicted]

Unfortunately, what you think you would want is not a reliable measure of what is best for her (any more than what you might want for your birthday is not a reliable guide for what to give her). Your choice to tell her does little to benefit her or the marriage and very likely puts you in an extremely precarious position. I feel sad and worried for you both. I understand how strong sexual urges can be, and also how deep the wounds of betrayal penetrate. You are both now in a very difficult situation. I sincerely wish you the best.

What he would want is not necessarily what she would want. But he is in a better position than we are to determine what she would want. This is something upon which people are bound to feel differently.

Personally if my wife had betrayed my trust I would want to know. I'd rather have my heart broken than live a lie. In my view it would be something that I am entitled to know and I absolutely do not give consent to anyone to decide otherwise for me - least of all the person that betrayed my trust. Furthermore, if there is any chance at all of rebuilding trust that person needs to be the one to take the initiative to address their own betrayal.

How one feels about the situation is intrinsically personal. We can't really know whether what he did was in line with how his wife would have wanted things or not. We are not in a position to condone or condemn it. At best we can ask whether he considered her point of view or was primarily interested in assuaging his own guilt.

 

[chad132]

This thread has shown a light on my problem. I was about 6 inches and 5 inches in girth my whole life. I got prostate cancer and had prostate surgery. Which damages your nerves for erections. No more erections, so the doctor gave me a small penile implant,3.5L x 4.5 G .this has ruined my life and now I see that women will not want you with that size cock.I know my wife no longer wants sex with me and she is ending our 37 rear marriage and is looking for a man who is about the size used to be. And I hear from this thread that almost all women only want a large cock to be satisfied. So my quest is still on to find a way to increase the size so I can find a woman I can satisfy. So surgery and PE exercises are now my life.