Sph / tiny penis fetish

[policywank]

I appreciate this on a number of levels. My time on this site is mostly about the tease and the extended foreplay. I enjoy getting hard and then settling down. I love leaking throughout the day while carrying on normally to those around me. Rarely do I come here just to “get off”. My challenge has been more about teaching my wife about extended foreplay. She’s the one that tends to think it’s about the deed itself.
My ties to this thread are interesting. I’ve never thought of myself as small although I’m definitely a grower. Add in a couple of prescription meds and sometimes when soft mine can now be quite small. At first it freaked me out but I’m still normal when I am hard. Now I have embraced it as a whole new dynamic to play with.

It has taken me a while to really learn and internalize the range of male sexual preferences. Women are raised to think that men just want to do the deed and get to climax as quickly as possible. Reality is that neither gender is homogenous in our sexual preferences or inclinations. Sometimes we are discouraged from embracing or expressing our individual preferences, but they still exist.

Likewise I think that we see something like SPH through a traditional lens that indicates it is an area of insecurity for men and therefore SPH is necessarily hurtful. But that simply isn't how all men feel. Why are some men aroused when I tell them that their little dicks are inadequate and that their wife deserves a better more manly cock to satisfy her? A bunch of reasons which are unique to each man. I don't need to fully explain or justify every one. It is not so different from why one person likes to be tied up and flogged whereas another would never want that. One doesn't need to share those feelings or fully explain them to recognize that they are real and respect them for what they are. On another level it is like trying to analyze why one person prefers vanilla ice cream and another prefers black cherry - they are just personal preferences that don't require psycho analysis.

Most guys want to create a comforting version of their own sexuality that avoids anything that makes them insecure. I think it is refreshing that some men don't want to do that. Frankly it is beneficial to women for men to see themselves honestly. And by any measure - whether you think women prefer average or larger - there are a great many men who are sub-standard when it comes to penis size. Regardless of what language is used you know that most women don't seek out tiny penises but many seek larger ones. The little guys in this thread may have lots going for them, but a nice desirable sized cock is not one of them.

 

[bjlatx]

Are you saying you wouldn’t desire my hard 4 inches??

 

[NancyPan]

I really do not want to know WHY sph excites me or why any erotic trigger gets me going. Unraveling it would be like taking apart an iPhone thinking that if you did, you could figure out how it worked and successfully put it back together. These triggers were imprinted very early, I am sure of that.

I will say this: when my wife told me that there would be no more PIV sex and cited my size and tendency towards PE as reasons, it hurt a lot, really a lot — but after I licked my wounds it aroused me. (Talk about a “wake-up call!”) I knew she was right. Eventually it excited me that she was taking charge and being honest, and I realized that I had years of selfishness to make up for (plus I love oral worship). And, she has mastered the art of erotic humiliation.

Our sex life has been better since we had this talk. I cum far less often, but I get lots more pussy!

 

[bjlatx]

Here is what my wife told me over text. I’m going to fuck her ass tonight.

“I love it when you eat my ass. I know you can’t fuck me very good with your little cock”.

 

[policywank]

Are you saying you wouldn’t desire my hard 4 inches??

Well maybe I could hang my purse on it. But for vaginal penetration it just isn't enough for me. It is better suited to being caged while you do housework.

 

[bjlatx]

Well maybe I could hang my purse on it. But for vaginal penetration it just isn't enough for me. It is better suited to being caged while you do housework.

what would you say if you were pulling my pants down the very first time?

 

[policywank]

There's so much truth here, and once again I'm humbled at your grasp of it, and your ability to articulate it so clearly and succinctly. Your perspective and insight are so logical that at first glance it almost appears clinical even, as though you hold advanced educational degrees on the topic. I'd bet that you'd look absolutely lovely in a lab coat, with your hair up, a clipboard in one hand and a pair of rubber gloves in the other, but I digress. (You probably look lovely in anything you wear, lol.)
Anyway, sorry to go on like a happy eager puppy here. I just wanted you to know how much men like me appreciate Women like you. Thanks for sharing a bit of that here with us in this thread.

I agree that this insecurity probably applies to most men, at least at some point in their lives. It certainly applied to me from my teen years through my mid-40s. But something changed for me as I approached middle age that caused me to slowly challenge that mentality and eventually turn it around. I don't know if the reason for that was maturity, collective life experiences, growing sexual self-awareness, or just the gradual result of continuing to acknowledge and embrace my lifelong inner submissive nature.

Up until now I'd have wagered that anyone interacting with me in social or professional situations would immediately peg me (no pun intended) as a masculine, confident, extroverted alpha male. Because it's been that way my whole life, and I do exude those characteristics. And if you interacted with me in a public situation for more than a few minutes you'd probably think it would be silly if I attempted to act otherwise. But now that I know there's at least one enlightened and observant woman like @policywank out there I'm not going to be so confident of that anymore. Seriously.

Anyway back to the topic in at hand. Nowadays my kinky submissive proclivities see me seeking out opportunities and situations where insecurity, humiliation, embarrassment and emasculation in general are dished out by confident and somewhat cruel Women. I now recognize that these are some of my fetishes and that they're key to my sexuality and arousal.

So it might surprise some (but not @policywank I'm sure) that I have an average size manly member that I wish was smaller than it is. That's one of the reasons that I enjoy extended male chastity and being "forced" to have any permitted semen release limited to prostate milking or vibrator-induced ruined orgasms in my cage. Because it forces me to remain flaccid and erection-free, and living this way for an extended period (usually measured in months) actually shrinks my manhood as the skin eventually loses elasticity due to abstinence from erections.

I also enjoy the perpetual sexual focus and attentiveness to all women that results from being forced to live chaste, flaccid, and in a semi-perpetual state of sexual frustration and desire. For me just the opportunity to handle my own cock uncaged for cleaning and grooming purposes is perceived as a treat when I'm keep in the right submissive mental space. And any opportunity given to enjoy an erection and edge for a while is very exciting. SPH and/or UPH (useless penis humiliation) is a big part of this, and chastity is basically just the enforcement and reminder mechanism for that.

For example, few things are as humiliating and arousing to me as being told by my owner/keyholder "Oh my, it looks like your little cocklet is getting even smaller. I guess it's time for us to fit you into a smaller cage again" or "I'm not sure what we're going to do with you pet, your current cage size is already 'nub'. Do you think they even make a smaller size than that? I think 'null' would be a good size for you, don't you?" She's not in my life anymore, but wow could she get into my submissive headspace instantly and quite unexpectedly with that kind of thinking and talking. I never knew I had a fetish for SPH until she locked me into chastity for 6 months and gave me a lesson on SPH/UPH and male insecurity. (She did a pretty good job of leveraging that to turn me into a bit of an anal-oriented bitch boy too, but that's another story for a different discussion.)

On a related note, this is also the backstory and kink behind the ad I placed in the BDSM Personals section a couple of weeks ago seeking a new owner/keyholder. I miss the experience of being physically controlled (chastity and anal play) while simultaneously receiving a sound mindfuck at the same time. I never realized until participating in this thread, and especially not until contemplating @policywank's insightful posts, that SPH/UPH was such a big part of my own kink.

Thanks for attending my SPH TED Talk.

I think that it must be just exhausting for some men to cultivate and protect their distorted sexual self image. Men with little dicks spend so much energy convincing themselves that size doesn't matter. Others convince themselves that if they can just somehow pass for average that they represent what women want. Eventually you learn that women want more. Some guys never come to accept that reality. But for those who do it can be very liberating.

One of the most misleading things we teach young people is that you can be whatever you want to be. It isn't true. We all need to play to our strengths. If a little boy talks about being an NBA player it is cute. And we think what a laudable goal. Who knows maybe he will. But when it turns out he is slow and uncoordinated we start to think well maybe direct him somewhere else. But pretty soon he grows up and it is up to him to face his own reality. Having a little dick isn't the end of the world just like not being a good basketball player isn't the end of the world - deal with it and don't make it other people's problems to shelter you. I think the mature man knows this and can find comfort in embracing reality.

 

[policywank]

what would you say if you were pulling my pants down the very first time?

I would probably stifle a giggle and try to hide my disappointment by finding something else to talk about.

 

[bjlatx]

So if we had been on a date and gone back to your place, we wouldn’t end up having sex?

 

[NancyPan]

I wasn’t a good basketball player and I have a small dick, but She has taught me to be compliant, good at housework, and I am extremely enthusiastic and skilled at oral worship of Her! (and She finds me to be a good companion)

 

[policywank]

I wasn’t a good basketball player and I have a small dick, but She has taught me to be compliant, good at housework, and I am extremely enthusiastic and skilled at oral worship of Her! (and She finds me to be a good companion)

You play to your strengths and maybe a bit of SPH nudged you in that direction. Sounds like a win-win.

 

[policywank]

So if we had been on a date and gone back to your place, we wouldn’t end up having sex?

It depends on your attitude and my mood. I might give you a pity fuck so you have a chance to demonstrate your oral skills.

 

[bjlatx]

I’ve got a great attitude and am magic with my tongue. I just have a 4 inch dick.

 

[Jeph77]

I appreciate this on a number of levels. My time on this site is mostly about the tease and the extended foreplay. I enjoy getting hard and then settling down. I love leaking throughout the day while carrying on normally to those around me. Rarely do I come here just to “get off”. My challenge has been more about teaching my wife about extended foreplay. She’s the one that tends to think it’s about the deed itself.
My ties to this thread are interesting. I’ve never thought of myself as small although I’m definitely a grower. Add in a couple of prescription meds and sometimes when soft mine can now be quite small. At first it freaked me out but I’m still normal when I am hard. Now I have embraced it as a whole new dynamic to play with.

There's a delicious desperation to extreme arousal, a fullness between one's legs and one's frontal lobe. You can only sublimate it for so long.

 

[Jeph77]

I’ve got a great attitude and am magic with my tongue. I just have a 4 inch dick.

My ex had a thing for tiny cocks. Loved going down on them. The appreciation she got was the hottest aspect, she said.

 

[Jeph77]

My ex had a thing for tiny cocks. Loved going down on them. The appreciation she got was the hottest aspect, she said.

Also if they know how to grind it just right she would cum and cum.

 

[bjlatx]

That’s awesome. I had plenty of girlfriends before I got married and have been happily married for over 20 years. It’s only been recently that she’s indulged bigger dicks and begun to realize how much she’s missed them over the last 20 plus years.

 

[stiv837]

I don't think men with average or better size cocks can possibly understand why some of us smaller men crave SPH.

 

[bjlatx]

I don’t understand why I love it, but I do.

 

[NancyPan]

I have 19 stories on Literotica. One of them is specifically about sph: https://literotica.com/s/exposed-to-the-domme-club. (Exposed to The Domme Club) If you decide to read it (or others) and like, please leave me a PM.

 

[Escierto]

I don't think men with average or better size cocks can possibly understand why some of us smaller men crave SPH.

As the owner of an average sized cock, I can understand it. My girlfriend has a cock at least two inches bigger than mine and I love being submissive to her.

 

[policywank]

I’ve got a great attitude and am magic with my tongue. I just have a 4 inch dick.

Then you may be suited to a warm-up or a clean-up role.

This is why women are generally well suited to non-monogamy. I personally would have a difficult time settling for just the one 4" dick even if the man does have a talent tongue. But as a non-monogamous woman I can indulge the variety of multiple men and enjoy each for what they are. Sometimes a little dick man with a good tongue is enough. Other times he can play a role before or after a well hun man fucks me properly. As long as you can accept your role all is well.

 

[bjlatx]

I have absolutely accepted that role with my wife and I love it. She hasn’t been able to hook up with one of her bulls for a couple of weeks now and she was very horny last night. I went down on her to make sure she had an orgasm. I then began fucking her and she looked right at me and asked if I was in yet. She told me that she can’t wait to see one of her bulls again because she needs a big dick now. I loved it. I didn’t last very long at all. I’ve completely accepted that she needs a bigger dick than I can give her and support her getting one as often as she needs to.

 

[Jeph77]

Well maybe I could hang my purse on it. But for vaginal penetration it just isn't enough for me. It is better suited to being caged while you do housework.

So harsh, but so hot.

 

[policywank]

So harsh, but so hot.

Perhaps harsh but true. Very very few women who actually enjoy and desire vaginal penetration will find a 4" cock to be adequate.

She may be willing to settle for only oral sex or for what limited stimulation can be provided by a 4" cock. By neither experience compares to or is a substitute for being fucked by a more adequately sized man.

It is a little like having an appetizer, but no main course. If you aren't very hungry it might be enough. And if you are hungry it is a welcome contribution - certainly better than nothing. But is not enough and certainly no substitute for a main course.