Submission a Gift or What?

[ecstaticsub]

Does anyone else but me think we spend WAY too much time analyzing all this shit and not nearly enough time enjoying it?

SKL...this is in no way a "slam" against you. It is just a trend i notice in the community as a whole.

YES!!! However as long as people don't get into one way of thinking is better or more "real", discussing it is much more interesting than watching TV. lol

 

[intothewoods]

Yeah - I hear some patronizing undertone in 'submission as a gift' as well. It sounds a lot like all the talk about women's virginity as a 'treasure' and a 'wonderful gift' to me. When do we hear about men's virginity as a 'treasure' or a 'gift'?

That being said, I really don't care if someone I'm not involved with wants to see or talk of their submission as a gift.

Dude, I said the same exact thing myself around here in a similar thread, which I have no desire to dig up.

 

[intothewoods]

Does anyone else but me think we spend WAY too much time analyzing all this shit and not nearly enough time enjoying it?

SKL...this is in no way a "slam" against you. It is just a trend i notice in the community as a whole.

I dunno, I enjoyed myself a couple of times last night.

 

[Netzach]

Dude, I said the same exact thing myself around here in a similar thread, which I have no desire to dig up.

I've always felt a serious me three on that. Some people are very happy being in a submissive and service position to darn near everyone they meet - they are first in line to be "the party favor" or the coat check girl at your dinner, they're really turned on by service and don't have a precious "cherry" attitude toward it.

I actually respect those people hugely, whereas I think we still love to have this virgin/slut kind of nose in the airness about it all.

 

[intothewoods]

I've always felt a serious me three on that. Some people are very happy being in a submissive and service position to darn near everyone they meet - they are first in line to be "the party favor" or the coat check girl at your dinner, they're really turned on by service and don't have a precious "cherry" attitude toward it.

I actually respect those people hugely, whereas I think we still love to have this virgin/slut kind of nose in the airness about it all.

Ooh yes! It's like this guy I know, a slave who always assists at his owner's friend's house parties. He serves as valet for the evening. I asked if we should tip, and I was told no, he is basically on loan from his Mistress. And he gets great satisfaction from the service.

Actually, come to think of it, though I'm not much of a service submissive, I have volunteered for bartending duty at these parties. Unfortunately, I kind of suck ass at it, but I absolutely love this kind of service, and it's very natural for me. I don't need to be wooed with sweet nothings describing how precious I am.

 

[Marquis]

Submission is a gift.

A Hannukah gift.

 

[intothewoods]

Submission is a gift.

A Hannukah gift.

I - um - hmm. Well, you're an abusive man-whore with good teeth!

I'm so glad you changed the AV, and I know it was a special gift just for me.

Ok, clearly I have been at work too long and am now punchy.

 

[Marquis]

I - um - hmm. Well, you're an abusive man-whore with good teeth!

I'm so glad you changed the AV, and I know it was a special gift just for me.

Ok, clearly I have been at work too long and am now punchy.

What was wrong with the last av?

The Hannukah gift joke might've been too obscure, even for the jews among us, so let offer an anecdotal explanation.

My paternal, Jewish, side of the family is very into giving gifts. They try to outdo each other with gift giving, it's very similar to watching Jerry Seinfeld and his father fight over who's going to pay for the restaurant bill. They give great gifts (or at least they used to, before I was written off) that any young man would kill for, and then wait with bated breath to see the gift you have for them and/or your undying appreciation. Even the smallest gift requires a thank you card from hallmark lest you be ostracized and thought spoiled and ungrateful.

My maternal side of the family don't give shit.

 

[Netzach]

What was wrong with the last av?

The Hannukah gift joke might've been too obscure, even for the jews among us, so let offer an anecdotal explanation.

My paternal, Jewish, side of the family is very into giving gifts. They try to outdo each other with gift giving, it's very similar to watching Jerry Seinfeld and his father fight over who's going to pay for the restaurant bill. They give great gifts (or at least they used to, before I was written off) that any young man would kill for, and then wait with bated breath to see the gift you have for them and/or your undying appreciation. Even the smallest gift requires a thank you card from hallmark lest you be ostracized and thought spoiled and ungrateful.

My maternal side of the family don't give shit.

Yes!

OMG yes yes yes. Everything I ever got was like that, down to whatever I got for tuition. It's a gift like a free suit from your mafia cousin is a gift, only the mafia wants you to do a favor they want your SOUL!

 

[unfoundiamond]

hm.

I believe it can be a gift based on the level of devotion, I am a hopeless romantic, and I happen to believe when I find "Master Right" I will devote myself to his/her hapiness.. Completely...

I have been known to care for my girlfriends and then boyfriends in this way, for years I washed and folded every piece of clothing, cooked every meal from scratch (no boxes or processed food in this organic, high fructose corn syrup/partially hydrogenated oil free household thank you VeryF***ing Much!), and let us not forget about back rubs and sex... and orchestrating every bill and event and balancing the check book... and still finding time for myself to be in school and working,

I have felt strongly about devoting myself to someone, being their swtichie bitch, giving my submission, which comes with devotion, to them, caring for them in every way possible, because I delight in nurturing, and I have waitied my life for someone to give myself to completely, giving them so much love and support and not to mention satasfying every desire, living out the most taboo of my fantasies with, and even having a child for if necesarry, I would give myself completely, and live for nothing but to please, THAT IS a gift...

I don't care, Ill be the hopeless romantic,

I am.

 

[Homburg]

Does anyone else but me think we spend WAY too much time analyzing all this shit and not nearly enough time enjoying it?

SKL...this is in no way a "slam" against you. It is just a trend i notice in the community as a whole.

Nope. In my case, time spent enjoying outweighs time spent analyzing.

This is actually odd for me, as I am one that usually spends more time pondering than doing when it comes to most acts. Then again, I consider planning time, brainstorming to come up with ideas, and sketching ties and such to time spent enjoying. It's not analyzing after all, it's planning.

On-topic: Submission is generally an exchange, at least insofar as D/s is concerned. M/s surrender (or whatever term you like for M/s submission) is closer to a gift. Closer.

 

[nh23]

I believe it can be a gift based on the level of devotion, I am a hopeless romantic, and I happen to believe when I find "Master Right" I will devote myself to his/her hapiness.. Completely...

I have been known to care for my girlfriends and then boyfriends in this way, for years I washed and folded every piece of clothing, cooked every meal from scratch (no boxes or processed food in this organic, high fructose corn syrup/partially hydrogenated oil free household thank you VeryF***ing Much!), and let us not forget about back rubs and sex... and orchestrating every bill and event and balancing the check book... and still finding time for myself to be in school and working,

I have felt strongly about devoting myself to someone, being their swtichie bitch, giving my submission, which comes with devotion, to them, caring for them in every way possible, because I delight in nurturing, and I have waitied my life for someone to give myself to completely, giving them so much love and support and not to mention satasfying every desire, living out the most taboo of my fantasies with, and even having a child for if necesarry, I would give myself completely, and live for nothing but to please, THAT IS a gift...

I don't care, Ill be the hopeless romantic,

I am.

Wow..that's pretty heavy. I see the romantic side to D/s or even a vanilla relationship for that matter. I am very service oriented when it comes to the males in my life that I love. My husband when he is home has dinner on the table when he gets home every night, I do the laundry, I take care of the children, I clean the house. Hell I even bathe him, cut his toenails, and fingernails, and shave his face. And funny thing is I'm not submissive to my husband..lol. He doesn't have a dominant bone in his body. That's just the way I think things should be. That being said, It's really not all that romantic. It's life. Sure it sounds romantic in theory but when he's sitting on the couch scratching his balls and farting..well the romance factor goes down a bit..lol. Also when my two year old and six year old are screaming and hitting each other..there goes a bit more of the romance. The same goes for when I have a Dominant in my life. It's wonderful, it's exciting, it's also real life. Things get in the way. He gets the diarrhea. I mean I can so see the romantic side of life. But, to me life isn't some big fantasy..it's life.

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, call me strange, but whether he farts on the couch or not does not alter the romance in our life...if anything, his being comfortable enough with me to be able to do so adds intimacy and romance.

Catalina

 

[nh23]

LOL, call me strange, but whether he farts on the couch or not does not alter the romance in our life...if anything, his being comfortable enough with me to be able to do so adds intimacy and romance.

Catalina

Ok, you're strange. Lol. Farting and scratching his balls on the couch does not show intimacy to me. But, the neck of the woods that I live in men have no qualms about doing that in front of anyone. So it doesn't show me that he's comfortable enough to do it in front of me. Hell most men will do it in front of a grocery store clerk. I was just using that as an example. Life gets in the way of things. It can't always be some romantic fantasy.

 

[BiBunny]

LOL, call me strange, but whether he farts on the couch or not does not alter the romance in our life...if anything, his being comfortable enough with me to be able to do so adds intimacy and romance.

Catalina

LOL. I think for most people, though, (not for me, but for many) "comfort" and "romance" do not equate.

 

[DeservingBitch]

LOL, call me strange, but whether he farts on the couch or not does not alter the romance in our life...if anything, his being comfortable enough with me to be able to do so adds intimacy and romance.

Catalina

[hijack]
Oh Cat -- you bring back wonderful memories of farting contests I used to have with my ex. I think there's something to be said about the intimacy of a relationship that involves farting contests. But I've also never claimed to be a grown up yet.
[/end of hijack]

 

[catalina_francisco]

Ok, you're strange. Lol. Farting and scratching his balls on the couch does not show intimacy to me. But, the neck of the woods that I live in men have no qualms about doing that in front of anyone. So it doesn't show me that he's comfortable enough to do it in front of me. Hell most men will do it in front of a grocery store clerk. I was just using that as an example. Life gets in the way of things. It can't always be some romantic fantasy.

Oh I dunno...when he smiles I still go weak at the knees and familiarlty over the years has increased our desire and hunger for each other more than decreased it...thought it should have started slowing down a couple of years back, but seems to grow which can be annoying when you really want to try and resist and you can't. Hmmm, of course, if he asks me to cut his toe open to the bone again it will be sorely tested...sheesh, I don't know how I did that and kept digging under his instruction to get it done and back together again.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL. I think for most people, though, (not for me, but for many) "comfort" and "romance" do not equate.

Yeah but see, he has such an adorable arse it just reminds me of that every time and I have to tell him so.

Catalina

 

[Bandit58]

LOL, call me strange, but whether he farts on the couch or not does not alter the romance in our life...if anything, his being comfortable enough with me to be able to do so adds intimacy and romance.

Catalina

*grins* it took me about 6 months to be comfortable enough to fart in front of Him - now it's a rule that the one who farts loudest raises their hand to "claim" it

I win sometimes

 

[nh23]

Oh I dunno...when he smiles I still go weak at the knees and familiarlty over the years has increased our desire and hunger for each other more than decreased it...thought it should have started slowing down a couple of years back, but seems to grow which can be annoying when you really want to try and resist and you can't. Hmmm, of course, if he asks me to cut his toe open to the bone again it will be sorely tested...sheesh, I don't know how I did that and kept digging under his instruction to get it done and back together again.

Catalina

I'm not saying there aren't romantic moments to life. There are..many of them. But I choose to live in reality. Not a fantasy world where everything is always puppies and sunshine. Most people who live in the same world as me realize that. I think way too many people see D/s, M/s, hell even marriage as some romantic thing. It can be..and is many times, but not all the time. Real life still has to be dealt with.

 

[catalina_francisco]

*grins* it took me about 6 months to be comfortable enough to fart in front of Him - now it's a rule that the one who farts loudest raises their hand to "claim" it

I win sometimes

LOL, I'm still trying to feel that comfortable about a lot of things which delights him no end to torment me over.

Catalina

 

[Kajira Callista]

Is Submissionand or Dominance a gift

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa newpppppppp

 

[unfoundiamond]

well,

I am talking about me finding a PYL for a permanent 24/7 thing...

And I wish you knew who I was specifically talking about, This person is unbelieveable... I wouldn't do all this for anyone, ONLY THE ONE...

"Master Right".... for lack of a better term... haha

I am only this way with a person I love and cherish BTW, not everyone, I DON'T feel the need to do everything for everyone, I just have the ability to devote myself to the persuit (typo) of happyness for me and my loved ones,

I am not a person who submits to everyone or carelessly, and the idea I have for the way I want to give myself to the one I choose is my story, not everyones or yours...

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm not saying there aren't romantic moments to life. There are..many of them. But I choose to live in reality. Not a fantasy world where everything is always puppies and sunshine. Most people who live in the same world as me realize that. I think way too many people see D/s, M/s, hell even marriage as some romantic thing. It can be..and is many times, but not all the time. Real life still has to be dealt with.

LOL, oh I am in touch with reality, but I just don't think there isn't a place for romantic notions where M/s is involved...if anything, it can help get through a lot of those life moments a lot easier...I actually think there is no way I would go those few extra miles for someone I didn't feel that way about a good amount of the time.

Catalina

 

[nh23]

LOL, oh I am in touch with reality, but I just don't think there isn't a place for romantic notions where M/s is involved...if anything, it can help get through a lot of those life moments a lot easier...I actually think there is no way I would go those few extra miles for someone I didn't feel that way about a good amount of the time.

Catalina

I think you just said the same thing I did. There can be romance..but it's not 24/7 yippie the world is perfect, for anyone, all the time.