Submissive "Thought of the Day" Calendar

[Esclava]

August 12th - Words of ghosst_K&H

rick,
i dont sweat what "other" Dominants say about my posts, frankly they may be Dom/mes in their world but not in mine.

i post my thoughts and feelings, accept positive, or negative feedback, and respect diffrent points of view, but ignore flames, because the flamer isn't worthy of my time.

you may be submissive, but you're still a person, and worthy of an opinion, just like the rest of us.

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Great thread...I would go read if I were you...

Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 13th - Words of AnelizeDarkEyes

This conversation would piss me off, royally. As a submissive, in the "informational interview" stage, you have a right to have your questions answered, as fully as possible. You also have a duty to yourself to make sure that you ask the right questions. At least that's how I see it. You asked the right questions, but this twit played dance around the mulberry bush with the answers. I suppose it's up to you to decide what you're going to do with that information.

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Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 14th - Words of A Desert Rose

I try not to use the term "wannabe" because I'm not in a position to make that judgement of someone. We are discussing people who are online.

I do think there are many who present themselves as something they are not. I also think there are many who have a different understanding of what a D/s relationship is. Those who enter into a conversation and begin with "I want" are topping from the bottom and obviously don't know any better.

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Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 15 - Words of malcah_ms

So when we aren't living in the same place we do what we can, meaning visits in person when we can afford it, lots of phone time, im'ing of course and the proverbial web cam. While it isn't the same as sessioning in person, because of the depth of our relationship, we're able to stay close and in touch. The wonders of technology never cease. I still miss His touch tremendously, but He still touches me in here (pointing to head) and here (pointing to my heart).

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Interesting opinions on LDRs.

Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 16th - Words of redelicious

I guess my idealised version of a D/s relationship is made up of two people who participate equally. A sub has to trust that the Dom will listen, comprehend, and in the end make the best choices for them both. But in order to trust this much I think the sub needs to feel valued. I don't know how the relationship could possibly grow with a Dom who continually makes decisions for the relationship based ONLY on his needs.

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Lively discussion ... enjoy!

Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 17th - Words of SkyBluAngelEyes

I still believe that Dom/mes are born, not made. It is something in maybe their genetic building codes that map themselves into being what they are. I think these true Dom/mes would not have to go to a school to learn this. They would naturally want to learn about this. Seek the answers that haunt them and then put that education to work.

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Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 18th - Words of cellis

5 questions for the sub girls and boys
Would you....

1. Have intercourse with a PYL male or female that you were not attracted to?

2. Perform oral sex on PYL you were not attracted to?

3. Could you be in a long term relationship with a PYL who did not fuck you in your ass/ pussy or other orifice?

4. Which do you consider more intimate... the ass ? the pussy? or the mouth?

5. Which is more important to you... the mental aspects of bdsm or the physical?

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I've not yet responded, but I will...

Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 19th - Words of Esclava

I can only pass on the words I was given by a number of Litsters in a thread where I solicited advice as I looked to deal with a prospective Dom(?) that was not a match with me.

Trust in your own intuition - it will NEVER steer you wrong. If warning bells go off or red flags start waving, PAY ATTENTION to them. If what a Dom offers does not meet your needs, thank them for their interest and decline their offer immediately.

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Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 20th - Words of AnelizeDarkEyes

First of all, will somebody PLEASE tell me what the hell a "true master" is? LOL!!!

That definition varies from person to person, ya know. One sub's true master is another sub's asshole.

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Posted at the request of a Dom... Really cool thread, though - go read!

Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 21 - Words of serijules

"I consider myself a submissive to my Domme because I have an interest in giving myself to another person entirely. My body, my mind, my pain, my pleasure, my wants, my needs, my desires, my discomforts, etc. There is a thrill for me in giving that ALL to someone, and a lot of trust that goes with it, trust that I will not find on that level in the average play partner.

I bottom to many. I submit to one."

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Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 22 - Words of Etoile

It is all about the dom...but that's the sub's responsibility! The submissive is responsible for the dom's pleasure and meeting expectations...meanwhile, the dominant is responsible for taking care of the submissive and keeping safety first.

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A thread about responsibility and ethics. Very interesting...

Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 23 - Words of Technodivinitas

I'm more than half-inclined to disagree about checklists and novices. I agree they're pointless as far as what someone has tried, but if one was to hook up with someone who was completely new to the whole BDsM concept and interested/curious, you have to admit, ours is a really complicated world, with a million little variations, to which this very board is a testimony!

It'd certainly be helpful to let the experienced party know in which area of BDsM the novice has an initial interest. It also would serve to clue said novice in to just how vast and varied is what they're looking into, and to let them know that the aforementioned experienced party does care about their interests and desires, and doesn't want to take them somewhere that they don't actually want to go, or realize that they are already going...

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I like the discussion in this thread...I hope you do as well...

Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 24th - Words of graceanne

There's an article called the acid test, it's on the sub retreat, and it deals with ways to detect imposters. Here's the link:

http://sub-retreat.markandelle.com/memory/acidtest.html

It was really cool. You should check it out.

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Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 25th - Words of incubus'_sub

Now that's actually a good question for this board. I've wondered (& worried) about some posters who do seem to define their whole lives by BDSM as opposed to commitment to a good relationship which happens to satisfy their particular desires.

In our case, the recognition of our B&D compatibility was possibly the extra spark which ignited our love for each other, but is balanced by an all round attraction of intellect, ordinary physical desire, common interests & tastes, the whole range of "stuff" that makes a relationship work.

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Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 26th - Words of Technodivinitas

Conversely, I have known one Dom who insisted that safewords were exactly the opposite- UNsafe. He felt that having a safeword allowed Tops to be careless and less attentive to the submissive's safety and/or health. His logic is not entirely unsound- but I feel too strongly that Tops should be responsible for their own skill and attentiveness, without asking/requiring a bottom to "fly without a net" so to speak.

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Nice discussion ensues...

Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 27th - Words of avadore

I experienced this yesterday. We had a bit of a play, and afterwords I had to change the bedsheets and clean up the sex toys. I had just gotten out of the shower and had to do this while he was in the shower. Now it is the middle of winter here and his flat is fucking cold, but somehow walking around naked doing stuff wasn't so bad - I barely felt the cold.

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Lively discussion of eroticizing everyday tasks!

Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 28th - Words of MissTaken

Good thread. You did a nice job on this poll to include our kinkified friends!

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Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 29th - Words of Limbhugger

I think one of the first misconceptions about the bible or religion is that we are only allowed to have sex in the missionary position and it has to be quick and only for making babies. That is BS perpetuated by the Puritains and the EARLY Cathololics (no offense meant to anyone). This idea was man-made and meant to attempt to thrust control over difficult situations.

The bible is riddled with stories of deep love and wonderful passion if one reads it closely. And from my male subbie point of view there are a whole bunch of strong women in the bible. Look up Rose and of course Mary.

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Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 30th - Words of serijules

This is a comment I can relate to. When I first became actively involved in scening in the lifestyle, my aftercare needs were quite, well, needy. I think this is pretty common for newcomers, as there are a lot of emotions and fears related to the self discovery involved, and learning what your own reactions and desires mean. After a scene, it was common for me to need a lot of reassurance, to have someone touching me and helping me come down from my headspace.

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Esclava

 

[Esclava]

August 31st - Words of Kajira Callista

We actually arent living outside their teachings. Take a min. to think bible and the actually words in the bible. The people who are judging us are doing more religious rule breaking then any of us are. Not to scare anyone but im a little on the religious side lol. No one has a right to judge a person that was created by their God... because in the end they too will be judged. Thats what gives me my peace.

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Esclava

 

[Esclava]

September 1st - Words of Valcorie

I was very nervous approching the room we were meeting in. However, i have played with the person one once before and although it was mainly just vinilla fun (but what fun it was) It gave me something to expect. After i was there for the scene i was a lot calmer. He went over the things he was going to use and explained things So i kind of knew what to expect. i got to try all of the clamps and gadgits for a short period to figure out what i was comfortable with right off.

i did find though that i was a little more dominate than i thought. i may try that in the future.

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Esclava

 

[Esclava]

September 2nd - Words of Safphyre

My biggest problem is that I associate these as Dom/mme activities. I e-mailed her back and politely thanked her for her interest but told her I thought I was the wrong person for this.

We have exchanged a couple more e-mails about this and many of my “hang-ups” and while I am still unsure that I would be able to do what she originally requested to her satisfaction (and she knows this) I fids her a wonderfully understanding and accepting Domme and for whatever reason I am drawn to her.

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Go and see what advice the Dom/mes gave her...

Esclava

 

[Esclava]

September 3rd - Words of Esclava

This can never be said too much or too often:

Thank you!

To Catalina for allowing me to take up this banner in her absence as she resolved those family issues that required her undivided attention.

To those who have offered their words of wisdom for new (and not so new) subs to explore, learn, seek answers, find comfort, acceptance, and understanding.

To all who will walk with me to help us keep this thread up to date...

I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Esclava

 

[Esclava]

September 4th - Words of DreamsSurrender

While I was walking back from work I was thinking about the lifestyle,and my thoughts began to wander. What makes you personally need the lifestyle...what makes you come back? Over and over again? I am just curious on peoples reactions...please tell me.

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Go see answers to the question: What brings you back to BDSM?

Esclava

 

[Esclava]

September 5th - Words of SkyBluAngelEyes

You should not feel any guilt.

It was consensual play, right?

My Master used to leave bruises all over my body. They were all in the course of consensual play. He enjoyed giving them to me, and I certainly enjoyed getting them.

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