That's not BDSM.

[Recidiva]

general question to the masses:

If the sexual subculture of SM and leather sucks so bad, why do you come here?

You're going to find small minds and bad attitudes wherever you go. What I find weird is that people *expect* otherwise anywhere.

Sometimes subcultures because stuck on symbols so that the experience is poor overall, but can be good individually.

Say you are Wiccan, but you hate goth people who wear a lot of black and silver jewelry and just want to be "different" and "rebel" and revel in the drama. They're really not there for the reasons I might be. But it is a place where you can meet someone else who might at least have an inkling, and at least has a surface acceptance, isn't about to socially burn you at the stake.

Like you. You're stalkable

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

she never stalks me .......

( agrees with Miss Recidivas post )

 

[MorfeuV]

oOo

You're going to find small minds and bad attitudes wherever you go.

What I find weird is that people *expect* otherwise anywhere.

Some people are not afraid to experience life.

 

[Recidiva]

she never stalks me .......

( agrees with Miss Recidivas post )

*stalk*

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

*stalk*

awwww I you......laughsmiles

 

[the captians wench]

general question to the masses:

If the sexual subculture of SM and leather sucks so bad, why do you come here?

You're going to find small minds and bad attitudes wherever you go. What I find weird is that people *expect* otherwise anywhere.

Maybe even more so when you have a group of people who believe in a simular fashion. There are people out there who have this need to feel superior (dom, sub, vanillia doesn't really matter) and so they form clubs and create rules and if you don't follow those rules exactly how they see they should be then you are beneth them, even if you are a member of said club. This is perhaps more clearly demenstrated in the teenage years, but as my highschool days become more and more of a distant memory I'm noticing that the trend that I thought would disapear is still very much there, just hidden more. Adults tend to be sneakier about these things, where as teens are more obvious about it. There are always people who will say "you're not doing it right", but who the fuck cares if you're happy.

My mom for example, can't cook anything with out a recipe. She carefully measures out each ingredient to the ounce, stiring exactly the number of strokes it says, cooking not a second longer than the set time and so on and so on. When I cook, it's a crash of pinches and smidgets and dashes. Everything is guestimated and thrown together. But if we make the same dish, put them side by side no one could tell the difference. They taste the same and look the same, but some out there would argue that she doesn't cook the way she should because she doesn't feel her way around but uses an exact guide following it to the t, and others would say that I'm not cooking right because I don't follow a guide. But we each prefer our own method, and could care less what other people say about it.

 

[CutieMouse]

Why should I use ten words when I can just use two?

Hmm... you must have a better organized mind, than I.

 

[Marquis]

general question to the masses:

If the sexual subculture of SM and leather sucks so bad, why do you come here?

You're going to find small minds and bad attitudes wherever you go. What I find weird is that people *expect* otherwise anywhere.

Where exactly is "here"?

 

[Jailhouse]

If the sexual subculture of SM and leather sucks so bad, why do you come here?

I come here for other things, not for the BDSM section. I keep an eye on the BDSM stuff, but that's not what I'm here for.

 

[jadefirefly]

Hmm... you must have a better organized mind, than I.

I don't think that's it at all.

It's just that you actually bother to make sure you're understood, rather than expecting everyone else to automatically understand you because you will it so.

I much prefer your way.

 

[CutieMouse]

I don't think that's it at all.

It's just that you actually bother to make sure you're understood, rather than expecting everyone else to automatically understand you because you will it so.

I much prefer your way.

I've also spent the last year or so working on paring down my word useage/organizing my way of expressing myself... I used to babble something awful. (Okay I still babble something awful, but I try really hard not to.)

 

[O'Mac]

general question to the masses:

If the sexual subculture of SM and leather sucks so bad, why do you come here?

You're going to find small minds and bad attitudes wherever you go. What I find weird is that people *expect* otherwise anywhere.

I don't think it's so bad enough to be intolerable. Besides, if people don't are not made aware of these criticisms, there would be no need for improvement.

 

[Etoile]

I don't think that's it at all.

It's just that you actually bother to make sure you're understood, rather than expecting everyone else to automatically understand you because you will it so.

I much prefer your way.

Hear hear! Seconded.

 

[Jailhouse]

I don't think it's so bad enough to be intolerable. Besides, if people don't are not made aware of these criticisms, there would be no need for improvement.

Are you sure you're saying what you mean here? Just asking.

 

[Netzach]

Where exactly is "here"?

The BDSM forum of literotica, which appears to be labeled with the commonly understood acronym favored by the community so many seem to love to hate on.


Including people who have never been to munches. No offense.

In my experience it's the rare person who's not a total tool in the community but it's the rare person who's not a total tool period.

I met my husband at one of those pointless and stupid affairs. I have friends possessed of social skills who do go to things regularly. I myself run pretty hot and cold on "the community" but I'm not one to write it off.

 

[Netzach]

she never stalks me .......

( agrees with Miss Recidivas post )

If I did, miss, do you think you would know it?

 

[Jailhouse]

Including people who have never been to munches. No offense.

I'm actually glad you said this, because it's a great example of what I was talking about: Dismissing someone because they don't have all the little boxes on the form checked off.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I'm actually glad you said this, because it's a great example of what I was talking about: Dismissing someone because they don't have all the little boxes on the form checked off.

Everyone has to be using the same scorecard for that to be workable.

I'm pretty sure I don't work on the same one that everyone else does. And I'm even more sure that no one is working from mine.

I am deliberately not acknowledging those silly bdsm checklists, if that's what you are referring to. ;-)

 

[Netzach]

I'm actually glad you said this, because it's a great example of what I was talking about: Dismissing someone because they don't have all the little boxes on the form checked off.

I am all for doing things more ways than you can shake a stick at, you have no idea. Ask anyone who's ever bothered to read anything I post about how I f3eel about rigid categorizations and must-do's.

I don't generally think that people can review books they have not read and movies they haven't seen. How is this different?

Do you have to go to the event circuit to be a "real perv?" Fuck no. But I don't think you can really weigh in on what you'll find there.

And of course, being painted as one of a cabal of cliquish idiots involves no assumptions on anyone else's part.

 

[Jailhouse]

I am all for doing things more ways than you can shake a stick at, you have no idea. Ask anyone who's ever bothered to read anything I post about rigid categorizations and must-do's.

I don't generally think that people can review books they have not read and movies they haven't seen. How is this different?

If you're saying that you can't judge the community without meeting the community, you're right. But we're not talking about that.

I have met the BDSM community... not just in my own home town but communities in many different places and, you know what? There's rather little variation between them. Some people are cool, and that's an inarguable fact, but I can meet cool people without having to deal with the other thing the BDSM community has to offer: People who have the need to make themselves feel more worthwhile by telling you what you're doing is wrong for some reason. Too Dom, not Dom enough, too sub, not sub enough... fuck that. I don't lay paper cutouts of footprints on the floor to put my feet on and learn how to dance; I just listen to the music and let myself move. That's how I roll.

 

[Netzach]

Oh, ok. I just don't listen to those people and most of the people I choose to be around treat it like the joke it is and do what we do.

I'm also accustomed to being a lifestyle persona non grata in a lot of ways because of professional activity and being a professional persona non grata because I'm married to a sub and have other subs who aren't clients. If I let this get to me too much I wouldn't get out the door to anything scene-related ever.

 

[A Desert Rose]

... People who have the need to make themselves feel more worthwhile by telling you what you're doing is wrong for some reason. Too Dom, not Dom enough, too sub, not sub enough... fuck that...

And again, I'm going to say... everyone HAS to be working from the same page for this to work.

No one is... no one ever will be.

 

[Daddyslilpet]

You know honestly, I'm sitting here thinking to myself, if people argue as much in the real life local community as they do on just about every BDSM board I've ever looked at, why would I want to subject myself to that? Where would the fun in that be?

Just the thought that flashed through my head, and I could see someone new feeling the exact same way. Something to think about maybe. ~shrugs~

 

[Jailhouse]

You know honestly, I'm sitting here thinking to myself, if people argue as much in the real life local community as they do on just about every BDSM board I've ever looked at, why would I want to subject myself to that? Where would the fun in that be?

Just the thought that flashed through my head, and I could see someone new feeling the exact same way. Something to think about maybe. ~shrugs~

Generally speaking, I tend to advise people NOT to join in with the community. That's just me.

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Generally speaking, I tend to advise people NOT to join in with the community. That's just me.

I've read your comments, I don't think you're any better than the ones that are telling you that you are wrong if you are advising people against joining in with the local community based solely on your personal views. Just my opinion.