The hardcore stuff:enemas/fisting/knife-play/needles/strangling...

[h_i_s]

catalina ... and Netzach (great advice .... and ...):

It is SO true !! Not so long ago, my mind was entirely closed to the possibility of many things including fisting, water sports, anal, ... just to name a few. An open & trusting mind many times leads to wonderful levels of excrusiating bliss.

"Never say never, you may decide you don't care for the taste nor the texture, once you are destined to have to eat your own words."

¸,ø¤º°sinn0cent1°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

 

[the_bean]

I've never had an enema, nor has anyone ever cut me, but there have been knives present used to cut other things. I find the cutting of clothing highly erotic, as well as the feel of a cold blade dragging over your skin, knowing that if your lover twitches his wrist in the just the right way that you'll soon feel the warmth of your own blood spilling over...

Just thinking about it gives me shivers.

But there is nothing quite like asphyxiation play for me. Choking, strangling, whatever you want to call it - put your fucking hand on my throat and fuck me until I pass out - I am a happy girl.

I nearly died from drowning when I was in my teens. I think that near-death experience might be a reason that I get off on it so much now.

 

[Desdemona]

I've never had an enema, nor has anyone ever cut me, but there have been knives present used to cut other things. I find the cutting of clothing highly erotic, as well as the feel of a cold blade dragging over your skin, knowing that if your lover twitches his wrist in the just the right way that you'll soon feel the warmth of your own blood spilling over...

Just thinking about it gives me shivers.

But there is nothing quite like asphyxiation play for me. Choking, strangling, whatever you want to call it - put your fucking hand on my throat and fuck me until I pass out - I am a happy girl.

I nearly died from drowning when I was in my teens. I think that near-death experience might be a reason that I get off on it so much now.

mmmmm...when you're bound and helpless, there's nothing quite like having your clothes cut off, is there? The way he shows me the knife and drags it on my skin first, teasing me is just as hot as the actual clothing removal.
I also enjoy breath play, but we don't do it to the point of passing out. That's too edgy for either of us.

 

[darkgoddess2478]

blood play

I noticed some references to blood play. This is something that I have engaged in with a sub of mine and I would gladly do again. I find it very seductive that a person would trust me enough that I could cut their flesh and taste their blood without fear, and with complete love and devotion in their eyes. I love the taste of blood and have cravings for it occasionally.

Granted this is done with pets who are completely willing participants. I wouldn't cut a sub that recieves no pleasure out of the act.

 

[Bandit58]

But there is nothing quite like asphyxiation play for me. Choking, strangling, whatever you want to call it - put your fucking hand on my throat and fuck me until I pass out - I am a happy girl.

I nearly died from drowning when I was in my teens. I think that near-death experience might be a reason that I get off on it so much now.

Interesting I'm the opposite! Breath/asphyxiation play is a hard limit for me, I also had a bad experience in water as a child of 5 and I find I panic if I can't breathe. I think that's why I'm taking quite a while to learn how to deep throat properly, I tense up and tend to fight if I cannot get any air with His cock in my throat. However He is very patient and I'm learning to relax a bit more, even though He has joked about me having to learn to breathe through my ears!

 

[the_bean]

Originally posted by Desdemona
mmmmm...when you're bound and helpless, there's nothing quite like having your clothes cut off, is there? The way he shows me the knife and drags it on my skin first, teasing me is just as hot as the actual clothing removal.
I also enjoy breath play, but we don't do it to the point of passing out. That's too edgy for either of us.

I've never actually had anyone choke me until I pass out. That's always been a fantasy that will never come into play because most people are a little concerned that it might go too far. But I've come very close to losing conciousness, and that's fine with me.

But the knife play is completely delicious, Des. I agree with you, 100%.

Orginally posted by Bandit58
Interesting I'm the opposite! Breath/asphyxiation play is a hard limit for me, I also had a bad experience in water as a child of 5 and I find I panic if I can't breathe. I think that's why I'm taking quite a while to learn how to deep throat properly, I tense up and tend to fight if I cannot get any air with His cock in my throat. However He is very patient and I'm learning to relax a bit more, even though He has joked about me having to learn to breathe through my ears!

I felt very much the same way my first time, Bandit. I didn't want his hand on my throat. I freaked out, asked "what the hell do you think you're doing?!", pushed to get him off of me, etc etc. But he would just squeeze a little harder and tell me to shut up. (This was not a relationship with a Dom.. just an asshole, lol.) I relaxed and learned to like it alot. There is an incredible tension that I still feel, I know what you mean, but I think part of that inability to breathe properly is what excites me so much.

 

[Soulfiregirl]

I've been trying to keep up with this thread. Each post fascinates me more and more. I've had little fantasies here and there over the years as far as the "strangling" thing. I'm not sure why because I have asthma and when that acts up, I get nervous. But the thought of someone (I trust completely that is) putting a hand around my neck and gently squeezing is kind of erotic to me. As if they are saying, "you're all mine bitch and I'm going to fuck you now". Not so much strangling, but maybe more that they are "holding" me tightly so that I can't lift my head up. I probably shouldn't attempt actually strangling since I do have asthma. That could be dangerous for me. But someone just putting light pressure on my neck and holding me down is kind of hot to me.

So many fantasies, so little time.

I've also always had a bit of a fascination with "vampires" so I suppose some bloodletting might be a possibility one day.

It's funny. Some of you mentined earlier in this thread that I started that I may change my mind on things in time. But just reading this thread has slightly changed my mind on some things that I thought I'd never be open to. Even the enema thing doesn't gross me out as much as it did a week ago. The more research I do about things, the less afraid I am. I guess that's the key to a healthy BDSM type of relationship and lifestyle. No fear. If you fear something, you'll never try it or be comfortable with it. I may still never try some of these things but at least I'm educating myself more about them.

Very interesting posts, to say the least.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

<snip>even though He has joked about me having to learn to breathe through my ears!

Are you quite sure that he was joking?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

... if you are a masochist, you don't have to be extreme. Just communicate your desires/limits clearly and negotiate well.

Hear, Hear, Hear!

If you can't

• communicate your desires, to include the edges that make you heady and panicky,
• negotiate with a little common sense when needed rather than assume your partner can read your mind,
• and bail when you get exactly what you implied you wanted,

you have no business in a BDSM relationship. Period.

That dishonest behavior may actually work in "non-kinked" relationships, but the hypocrisy stinks nonetheless.

 

[TaintedB]

Except it's not always hypocrisy. The average "no hands-on experience" sub has no clear idea about what is going to make them panicky and want to bail. Of course, they'll know, going into a scene a few basic things like life-long phobias and activities that really turn them off, but if they've never experienced erotic pain, how is such a submissive going to be able to tell you what things to try and what to avoid? Then there's the whole issue of strong emotional flashbacks that an intense beating or something similar will often bring up in someone inexperienced. These flashbacks are like the spanish inquisition: nobody expects them, but when they rear their scene-stopping little heads, it's not exactly the submissive's fault. She didn't carefully plan her freakout ahead of time just to thwart you and ruin the evening, you know.

I'm just saying that with someone brand new, AA, it isn't fair apply those standards you listed as rigorously as you would toward somone with a few years experience under their belt. I know that in the world of short-term bdsm encounters there are a lot of selfish people who are just there for what they can get out of it sexually, and if a sub says she is Miss SuperMaso and then runs at first sight of the knives or matches, such individuals tend to get really pissed, but I would think that an experienced and not-too-narcissitic dominant, dealing with someone new, would enjoy helping her with this and teaching how to learn to gauge her own limits realistically.

I think I would be that kind of dom, if I were a dom, as I am a helpful type in general and I would find the unrealistic "I can take anything no limits at all" attitudes that newbies with no pain experience often have to be rather cute and charming.

 

[Bandit58]

Are you quite sure that he was joking?

Well I am hoping he was!

Except it's not always hypocrisy. The average "no hands-on experience" sub has no clear idea about what is going to make them panicky and want to bail. Of course, they'll know, going into a scene a few basic things like life-long phobias and activities that really turn them off, but if they've never experienced erotic pain, how is such a submissive going to be able to tell you what things to try and what to avoid? Then there's the whole issue of strong emotional flashbacks that an intense beating or something similar will often bring up in someone inexperienced. These flashbacks are like the spanish inquisition: nobody expects them, but when they rear their scene-stopping little heads, it's not exactly the submissive's fault. She didn't carefully plan her freakout ahead of time just to thwart you and ruin the evening, you know.

I'm just saying that with someone brand new, AA, it isn't fair apply those standards you listed as rigorously as you would toward somone with a few years experience under their belt. I know that in the world of short-term bdsm encounters there are a lot of selfish people who are just there for what they can get out of it sexually, and if a sub says she is Miss SuperMaso and then runs at first sight of the knives or matches, such individuals tend to get really pissed, but I would think that an experienced and not-too-narcissitic dominant, dealing with someone new, would enjoy helping her with this and teaching how to learn to gauge her own limits realistically.

I think I would be that kind of dom, if I were a dom, as I am a helpful type in general and I would find the unrealistic "I can take anything no limits at all" attitudes that newbies with no pain experience often have to be rather cute and charming.

I had no "hands on" experience until a year ago. I had no idea what a spanking would feel like, or whether I'd enjoy it or not. I tend to be of the opinion that I have limits until they are pushed, not that I am super subbie and want to jump into everything feet first and damn the torpedoes! I am however willing to try things with Him that no one else in my limited experience has even got close to. He's spanked both my butt and my pussy, used toys on me, He's the only one I have enjoyed having my hair held tightly and being face fucked

The key ingredients we employ are love, trust, respect and communication. We've taken things slowly because of a number of reasons, so I am still relatively inexperienced. But I'm really loving the journey we are on, and loving where He is taking me

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Except it's not always hypocrisy ...

My one night sexcapades ended half a life time ago. i did a one scene wonder and won't ever again. i indulged once many moons ago with the understanding up front once better be enough. The sub didn't fold because i showed her things she couldn't handle.

As for the rest, my approach at the beginning of a relationship doesn't include pain. Lots of talking happens going both ways, and not for just a single night. During that walk on the slippery slope, general boundaries get explored. i exercise dominance to get the partner used to control more than anything else. Once we decide to go forward, we find out where the real boundaries exist and adjust from there. Based on those facts, your reply has nothing to do with what i discussed.

 

[TaintedB]

Originally posted by AngelicAssassin
My one night sexcapades ended half a life time ago. i did a one scene wonder and won't ever again. i indulged once many moons ago with the understanding up front once better be enough. The sub didn't fold because i showed her things she couldn't handle.

As for the rest, my approach at the beginning of a relationship doesn't include pain. Lots of talking happens going both ways, and not for just a single night. During that walk on the slippery slope, general boundaries get explored. i exercise dominance to get the partner used to control more than anything else. Once we decide to go forward, we find out where the real boundaries exist and adjust from there. Based on those facts, your reply has nothing to do with what i discussed.

Sigh. I think you're taking things way too personally and, as this isn't the first time you've done this with me, it kind of makes me wonder. Lower the paranoia level. Nothing I wrote above had anything to do with you personally, your experiences or your life. You were saying that a sub going to meet a dom had better do this, that and the other thing. I responded by arguing that someone brand new to bdsm isn't capable of doing all of that. Nothing in anything I wrote had anything to do with you at all, except that it was responsive to the ideas you wrote, but I did mildly disagree with those ideas. I fail to see how expressing a differing opinion from yours is some sort of personal attack. Are you always this touchy with people?

Quite frankly, I am starting to get a bit irritated over this paranoia, as this isn't the first time you've directed it at me. Sometimes these sorts of communication gaps are impossible to fix. Perhaps we should both put each other on ignore so we don't continue to rub each other the wrong way? I'll miss looking at your pictures, but it'll sure beat feeling constantly weirded out because someone else is always reading meanings into my posts that are not there.


Taint

 

[waterkemist]

Enemas can be fun

I understand how you became turned off about them, but for other people they can be fun. There is something about having a nozzle placed up your butt to emphasize your own vulnerability. That feeling can be heightened if you are naked and the other person(s) are not. The vulnerability aspect may not be apparent, but it is a definite turn-on for many people.

An enema eventually causes one to lose control of one's bowels. All mammals can control their bowels to a larger extent than one may think. When someone gives you an enema, you lose that control for a short period of time. For some people, that loss of control is erotic; just look at how many bondage stories are out there. Some people get off on being bound and given an enema, talk about a double whammy!

Some people think of an enema as a punishment, and that makes it erotic for them. For some, it is just about deep dark dirty things like going to the bathroom being brought out so others can view them in the act. The more forbidden, the more erotic.

If you were feeling in the mood to experiment, I would let you give me an enema. Here is a link to my story. It is about an enema that I got some years ago. Maybe it won't seem so hard core to you.

http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=85074

Just copy and paste the text into your browser address bar, or click.

If you don't like it, that is OK too. I can see no way to make knife play fun, and I hate needles. When I encounter erotica with those features, I just move on. Just because other Lit members like an enema, it does not mean that you have to like one too. But, thanks for having an open mind.

By the way, just what is it that gets you all wet when you think about it?

 

[Etoile]

Heh, this is pretty much all stuff I'm into. I never thought it made me particularly hardcore. Great thread though!

I'm one of those who will say that enemas do "hurt." I suppose it's more of extreme discomfort, but it's so uncomfortable for me that I would indeed say it hurts a little. We mostly use them for punishment, but have also used them exclusively for cleaning purposes. When it's for punishment (the kind where I didn't necessarily do anything wrong...), it is usually also for cleaning because my punishment is not only the enema but also heavy anal play thereafter. For these enemas I have to hold them longer than I'd like, receive more fluid than I'd like, etc. When it's just for cleaning, I get a bit less fluid and I don't have to hold it; those sessions are generally much more loving rather than there being a crackle of tension in the air.

As for fisting - as anybody here can tell you, that's my favorite sex act! For vaginal fisting, the hand does indeed ball up after it is inside, but I have heard of anal fisting (handballing) being practiced (by experienced partners) by inserting the fist already formed. Fisting is not painful for me at all - it never was, even in the beginning. If it hurts, stop - communication is the most important part of fisting. If there's pain, stop and talk about it, and determine whether or not the fistee can handle the pain. (Yes, sometimes we kinksters do like to inflict pain deliberately, but this is one situation that shouldn't be forced without communicating about the issue.)

I'm not really into needles - in fact I have run away from them, but only because they were fucking tapestry needles and not play-piercing or real-piercing needles! - but I do like knife play. We did try a cutting session once but it wasn't particularly erotic for either of us (and it hurt more than I expected). Instead our knife-play is mostly threatening: having the knife brandished at me, held to my skin (but not at a cutting angle), used to slice off clothing/undergarments. It's the violence of knives that attracts me, personally.

Strangling...well, I prefer to call it choking. I have indeed been choked enough to pass out, though only for an instant - as soon as I began to pitch over (from a seated position onto something soft) I was caught and immediately came back to consciousness. I find choking extremely erotic, and I will frequently ask for it either vocally or by bringing Daddy's hand to my throat. Occasionally if the positioning is wrong, I will use my own hands, but that's not as good.

Like I said, none of this seems especially hardcore to me. I guess it's all a matter of first-hand experience, knowledge, and degrees.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Sigh.

The subject at hand, if you bothered to read the original and subsequent posts, had to do with personal experience. i spoke concerning a personal experience. Get over it when someone tells you they didn't make a blanket statement concerning all subs and you continue to try to make it one.

Put me on ignore if you like. Considering you didn't bother to answer a direct question in our last exchange, (wandering off to threaten someone else with ignoring them) i figured you already had. The only individual with a paranoia issue appears to be you.

 

[blue kat]

and if you are a masochist, you don't have to be extreme. Just communicate your desires/limits clearly and negotiate well. I personally prefer a maso sub, but there are people who are strictly into control, or don't really go to extremes.

If you can't
communicate your desires, to include the edges that make you heady and panicky,
negotiate with a little common sense when needed rather than assume your partner can read your mind,
and bail when you get exactly what you implied you wanted,

you have no business in a BDSM relationship. Period.

That dishonest behavior may actually work in "non-kinked" relationships, but the hypocrisy stinks nonetheless.

Thanks..

Except it's not always hypocrisy. The average "no hands-on experience" sub has no clear idea about what is going to make them panicky and want to bail. Of course, they'll know, going into a scene a few basic things like life-long phobias and activities that really turn them off, but if they've never experienced erotic pain, how is such a submissive going to be able to tell you what things to try and what to avoid? Then there's the whole issue of strong emotional flashbacks that an intense beating or something similar will often bring up in someone inexperienced. These flashbacks are like the spanish inquisition: nobody expects them, but when they rear their scene-stopping little heads, it's not exactly the submissive's fault. She didn't carefully plan her freakout ahead of time just to thwart you and ruin the evening, you know.

I'm just saying that with someone brand new, AA, it isn't fair apply those standards you listed as rigorously as you would toward somone with a few years experience under their belt. I know that in the world of short-term bdsm encounters there are a lot of selfish people who are just there for what they can get out of it sexually, and if a sub says she is Miss SuperMaso and then runs at first sight of the knives or matches, such individuals tend to get really pissed, but I would think that an experienced and not-too-narcissitic dominant, dealing with someone new, would enjoy helping her with this and teaching how to learn to gauge her own limits realistically.

I think I would be that kind of dom, if I were a dom, as I am a helpful type in general and I would find the unrealistic "I can take anything no limits at all" attitudes that newbies with no pain experience often have to be rather cute and charming.

Oy.. I hate when there's lots of points to hit. I'm always afraid I'm gonna miss something.

Tainted, you make a very good point about a sub not knowing where all her trigger points are. Hell, I don't know where all mine are. However. That's no excuse for good negotiation skills. It almost looks like you're saying the sub is off the hook for ANY thing that goes wrong by virtue of their inexperience. Not so.

First off, responsible tops are aware that hidden trigger exist. We try to look out for them, as safe-wording is not always a reliable brake when something is too intense. Second, we're also aware that fantasy is not real life. Hot fantasies can be terrifying realities, and a new pyl may not know where the line is. But if we, as PYL's know this, we can watch for it. If we don't know that it was new or scary for you and it goes badly, the blame (if there is any) goes both ways. I ran into an old friend when we moved who's a new sub. I know her. I know her history. I also know what her hot fantasies are. Does that mean I'm going to run in with a singletail and beat her bloody and then fist her inside out? HELL NO. She's never done anything like this before. Is that one of her fantasies? Yes.

When we were talking about humiliation, I told her I'm into face slapping. She said "Well, that sort of makes me hot, but then again, it sort of makes my stomach turn over too." Did I mention she's a rank newber? Yet she is being COMPLETELY honest and above board in her answers. She's not using her inexperience as a shield or excuse or what have you. Her newbieness is negated by the fact that I now know this is edgy for her because she took the responsibility to tell me honestly how she feels. Am I going to do it? Yes. Not tonight, or tomorrow. But sometime down the road I'm going to very quietly backhand her across the cheek and see how she reacts. I might warn her ahead of time that's its coming. It depends on where I think she's at sub wise.

In short, there's no way you can be prepared for everything, but if you were both honest in your expectations, desires and fears, you can handle it if things go badly.

 

[TaintedB]

Hi Blue Kat,

No I'm not implying that a completely inexperienced sub is off the hook in everything. I just think a dominant has to know how to handle all sorts of situations and levels of self-knowledge, because given the nature of the sex, it's kind of their role to be the responsible one. The kind of example of I was thinking of was not face-slapping, but a more extreme sort of fantasy. You ever meet an inexpereinced submissive who, right of the bat, wants you to brand them or beat them till they bleed? I have met people like that, who have not even been spanked but say they want that sort of intensity. If they were self-masochists and had already done a lot of intense painful things to themselves, I might, as a dominant, trust that they knew what they were talking about, but otherwise, no way I would not take them at their word.

 

[TaintedB]

Originally posted by AngelicAssassin
The subject at hand, if you bothered to read the original and subsequent posts, had to do with personal experience. i spoke concerning a personal experience. Get over it when someone tells you they didn't make a blanket statement concerning all subs and you continue to try to make it one.

Put me on ignore if you like. Considering you didn't bother to answer a direct question in our last exchange, (wandering off to threaten someone else with ignoring them) i figured you already had. The only individual with a paranoia issue appears to be you.

In our last exchange, assuming you don't mean this particular thread, you butted your big Harlequin's nose into a conversation that I was having with someone else, claimed that I was attacking them when I was doing no such thing (although I did take pains to explain that fact in the thread in question), and then arrogantly set youself up as judge over my actions. If someone else were to do that to one of your online buddies, you'd be screaming bloody murder, I imagine, about how reprehensible a swine they were. All I did, in response was ignore your silliness and bad manners. The only time I suffer a fool is when he is sweet-tempered and means well. It is crystal clear to me by this point that those two traits are pretty foreign to your personality.

You are really something else, AA. But as I have absolutely no desire to find out what that something else is, I am quite happy to consider this conversation permanently closed, at least on my end. FWIW, when I first lurked here I liked you and thought you were cool. You are to be congratulated for the great job you did on teaching me differently.

 

[Etoile]

your big Harlequin's nose

I can't help but think that attacking somebody's avatar is a little absurd. C'mon, we all have goofy avatars.

Except blue kat, of course. Stitch rocks.

 

[blue kat]

Hi Blue Kat,

No I'm not implying that a completely inexperienced sub is off the hook in everything.

This is why I was looking for clarification.

I just think a dominant has to know how to handle all sorts of situations and levels of self-knowledge, because given the nature of the sex, it's kind of their role to be the responsible one.

On the first part. I said that a responsible dominant needs to have as much information as possible. I cannot handle all unforeseen possibilities and it is the pyl's responsibility to inform me as completely as they are able to try to prepare ourselves for what mayhappen. This is full disclosure. Again, it is not possible to prepare for everything, but we do our best. That means not holding back any "trivial" bits of information regarding their kink.

On the dominant's role being "the kind of responsible one." No. Or rather, I disagree. The submissive shares equal responsibility. A pyl's responsibility is to communicate their desires, needs and as much information as they possibly can. Within a scene, it is my responsibility to direct things in a mutually satisfying way. Unless there is a real non-consent issue, when a pyl agrees to scene, make love or otherwise get involved with a PYL, they are also responsible in the relationship. Sharing responsibility I will do. Shouldering it all because the poor lil pyl is the poor lil pyl who doesn't know what they want and I'm the big bad PYL doesn't fly.

The kind of example of I was thinking of was not face-slapping, but a more extreme sort of fantasy. You ever meet an inexperienced submissive who, right of the bat, wants you to brand them or beat them till they bleed? I have met people like that, who have not even been spanked but say they want that sort of intensity. If they were self-masochists and had already done a lot of intense painful things to themselves, I might, as a dominant, trust that they knew what they were talking about, but otherwise, no way I would not take them at their word.

Exactly. YOU would not take them at their word, and neither would I. Yes, I have met such a person as you mentioned and when they would not listen to reason they got a firm handshake and a "please be careful, or at least hold off on your desires til you can think rationally about them." This person was not willing to take responsibility for their own safety and I was not willing to be the one who did it. It's kind of like the whole "ignorance of the law is no defense." thing. Inexperience is not an excuse for abdicating your personal responsibility for your own health and well being. You see, most PYL's would not listen to that person saying 'beat me til I bleed." and would try to tell them why. If that person still insisted, we'd take a pass. Especially if they had the "well, I'm not really responsible because I'm not the PYL." tack.

I find your comment that face slapping is not as intense as "beat me bloody." to be a bit amusing. I was thinking you were referring to emotional hot buttons and freak outs from your earlier posts, but then it looks like you're going back to the physical realm in this one. Face slapping IS an emotional hot button for many people. That's why I like it as a PYL. I hated it when I was a pyl. It did things to my heart and soul that I still can't describe, and the reaction wasn't always the same. Sometimes it was a one way ticket to sub-space. Sometimes it was an instant yellow. Sometimes it didn't effect me at all. That's why I used it for my example. The emotional impact frequently overpowers the physical blow.


Following your train of thought on self masochists a bit. Ask a really hard core self masochist about the difference between hurting themselves and receiving pain. I have, but I can't really explain it well, since I'm not a masochist. Suffice to say, I wouldn't rely on that for a gauge with an inexperienced sub, because the difference is that big. Another interesting thing is to ask a self masochist who is a sadist with others. RJMasters had an interesting thread about that somewhere around here.

edited to kick the spell checker.. I said dominant dammit, not dominate!

 

[blue kat]

I can't help but think that attacking somebody's avatar is a little absurd. C'mon, we all have goofy avatars.

Except blue kat, of course. Stitch rocks.

Thanks! There's one in every family. That'd be me in mine.

 

[blue kat]

On the dominant's role being "the kind of responsible one." No. Or rather, I disagree. The submissive shares equal responsibility. A pyl's responsibility is to communicate their desires, needs and as much information as they possibly can. Within a scene, it is my responsibility to direct things in a mutually satisfying way. Unless there is a real non-consent issue, when a pyl agrees to scene, make love or otherwise get involved with a PYL, they are also responsible in the relationship. Sharing responsibility I will do. Shouldering it all because the poor lil pyl is the poor lil pyl who doesn't know what they want and I'm the big bad PYL doesn't fly.


Exactly. YOU would not take them at their word, and neither would I. Yes, I have met such a person as you mentioned and when they would not listen to reason they got a firm handshake and a "please be careful, or at least hold off on your desires til you can think rationally about them." This person was not willing to take responsibility for their own safety and I was not willing to be the one who did it. It's kind of like the whole "ignorance of the law is no defense." thing. Inexperience is not an excuse for abdicating your personal responsibility for your own health and well being. You see, most PYL's would not listen to that person saying 'beat me til I bleed." and would try to tell them why. If that person still insisted, we'd take a pass. Especially if they had the "well, I'm not really responsible because I'm not the PYL." tack.

Clarifying myself, and apologizing for making the same sort of blanket statements that piss me off.

A PYL who lurks here shot me a quick email reminding me that there is a group (albeit a small one, he says.) of PYL's that DO enjoy the sort of "helpless lil sub" pyl. I personally don't, and I'm trying to get him to register and post. He refers to them as "childlike" subs, and reminds me that some, but not all parental style PYL's look for that quality and encourage it.

I obviously, do not find that trait attractive, but I do acknowlege that it's out there, it's just not my kink. So I guess there are relationships where that is successful. I still can't imagine ever doing a one night stand sort of thing or immediately jumping into that relationship without a lot of soul searching and negotiation.

 

[roadkinger]

We are a couple in our 40's. We both love a very kinky but safe sexual life.

For us enemas are done for cleanliness and in preparation for anal sex and fisting.

I got out of shower after a warm water enema, and slipped into bed next to my wife. She started to tie my arms and legs wide apart to each bed post. The she blindfolded me and put a ball gag in my mouth. I couldn't see, I couldn't speak, I was unable to move, basically I was helpless, BUT, I was with someone I love and trust. It made it all so sexy. I had no idea what she had in mind. The first thing I felt were nipple clamps with a chain attached being put on my nipples. They were tight and made my nipples tingle. Then she pushed some pillows under me to get clear access to my ass. Then I heard the slippery sounds of a dildo sliding in and out of her pussy or ass, after a while I felt warm liquid being worked into my raised ass. Then she began inserting a small vibrating dildo into me and I felt her warm, wet lips take my stiff cock into her mouth. She was pulling on the nipples clamps and sucking my cock. Then I heard her slip her strap-on harness on and before I knew it the dildo was removed from me and she began to work the strap-on deep in my ass. This one is almost ten inches long and three inches in diameter.
She fucked me like this for a long time then abruptly pulled out. She told me it was time for her to fist fuck me. I felt her slowly work all four fingers into me then she began to push and after a few minutes I could feel her whole hand deep in my ass. She started breathing reall had and fast, I could hear her fingers rapidly working her clit, she took me again into her mouth and she fucked her mouth with my cock. Just as she started to cum, she sucked me over the edge, and I shot a hot load down her throat. After we both came back to our senses, she slowly removed her fist from me, and undid the ropes and blindfolds. We rested together for awhile, then together got in the shower, washed each other off, and while she worked the shower massage on her clit, I slowly slid into her ass and we both fucked to wonderful mutual climax again.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

In our last exchange, assuming you don't mean this particular thread ...

Well let's take a good look at that thread shall we?

Whether you intended to, or not, your abrasive posting style rubbed more people than me wrong. You managed to

• blow shit at AnelizeDarkEyes for a very valid question most of us had asked in some form or fashion,
• trot out your opinion about something Betticus had read elsewhere, without bothering to read where it came from, how it was used, and to what degree it accomplished exactly what the originator intended,
• insult (or not, depending on the subject of your ambiguous you) s'lara, a long standing member here that maintains the library,
• get into a "woe is me, i'm going to ignore you" pissing match with Etoile when she took you to task for your ambiguous use of "you,"
• make a smart assed remark towards CutieMouse about the use of dude,
• and couldn't bother answering a straight question from me.

Instead, you referred me to some imagined nugget of gold buried in your ongoing diatribe with Etoile. Had you bothered to keep track with whom you argued about what, you might have figured out my question concerned what you supposedly clarified. That ranks right up there with using a word to define itself.

What i referred to here from that thread appears below.

Dismissal, to me, represents a reality radically different from that of breaking up and in my opinion the two cannot honestly be equated or seen as synonyms for the same actions.

i don't mind a strong opinion. If nothing else, such an opinion can create a lively swap of ideas. Since i'm still curious about your post, i'd like to hear the difference between dismissal and breaking up. Call me old-fashioned, but i like to be on the same sheet of music before i debate anyone on a topic.

Hmm. Did I not answer that adequately above in my latest response to Etolie? If not, I'll be happy to clarify.

As best i can tell, you've described them as radically different realities, but you haven't defined either.

If you meant the same thing as kittycat, i get it.

You never bothered to answer.

i don't have online buddies here. Like Etoile, i'll butt heads with someone in one thread and agree with them in another. Ask Pure.

After making it painfully clear you didn't understand my posting in this thread, you had to stir the kettle with your nose. Kindly remove your head from your ass. Your pot boils over while you dither.