The most overused lines in Lit porno

[MathGirl]

Call me recalcitrant, call me weird, call me on 1-800-LUURVE but I have never ever fantasised about scoring a winning touchdown in any bowl, super or otherwise.

Dear Gauchie.
That gives you something in common with about a billion men in the Peoples Republic of China.
MG

 

[Croctden]

Oh those older woman

A: They seem to specialize in "making me a man."

B: They always cause instant erections, which is always "so embarrassing"

 

[the_bragis]

Octavian,

Oh bugger!
A highly embarrassed Octavian
who has used this exact line.

Please don't be embarrassed. Me and mine say ""It's your turn now", often, but just not in any of our stories.

I think erotic stories are like sex, and in more ways than the obvious. We (him and me) tend to repeat words and expressions during sex that we have used time and time before. It fells kind of comfortable, and to be honest I never get sick of hearing of them. It's like a hot story I came across the other day, half way through it I read, " Oh fuck me please, fuck me harder.' I've seen those exact words a dozen times before and yet they still thrill me when I read them in the right context.

I understand what KM saying, much of it can be a total turn off, but I still don't mind re-reading some lines and expressions.


Alex d K,

what you are about to read is a true story (or variations on that theme)?

I haven't ever used this one, but I can understand why an author might. My other half gets really hot and excited reading about something that's suppose to have really happened, even though he knows deep down it most likely hasn't, and I don't think he's alone there.



Dr M,

The classic male fantasy is not straight rape. It's that the woman ...

Believe me, it's not just a 'male' fantasy.




deliciously_naughty,

Those stupid "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHS" That go on for lines...

Yes, that's a pet hate of mine also. Extra letters never give extra impact.





Well happy writing and have a good day,

Alex (fem)

 

[wildsweetone]

Re: It's your turn now

Originally posted by Weird Harold

Oh bugger!

A highly embarrassed Octavian
who has used this exact line.

killing myself laughing!!!

how did i miss this thread?

sorry Octavian... it was the 'Oh bugger!' and its tone that did me in. ignore me, i'm knackered.

 

[Octavian]

Originally posted by wildsweetone

sorry Octavian... it was the 'Oh bugger!' and its tone that did me in.

No need to say sorry for laughing, wildsweetone.

Even though I did use the line, the post was still meant to be funny.

Octavian

 

[wildsweetone]

Originally posted by wildsweetone

No need to say sorry for laughing, wildsweetone.

Even though I did use the line, the post was still meant to be funny.

Octavian

thank you dear i'm glad you weren't offended.

i like your humour

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

A profunctory nod at the thread's topic:
The line that always chaps me in erotic fiction, and you see it in story after story, is, "It was a dark and stormy night."

--

Call me recalcitrant, call me weird, call me on 1-800-LUURVE but I have never ever fantasised about scoring a winning touchdown in any bowl, super or otherwise. Gauche

Well, okay, if that's your trip. Hey, Gauche, you're recalcitrant, weird, and I-800-LUURVE. (hope you feel better now)

--

That gives you something in common with about a billion men in the Peoples Republic of China. MG

Yeah, but that wouldn't be the case if Gauche had mentioned sinking the winning shot in game seven of the NBA championship.

Sporty Rumple Foreskin

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

Originally posted by MathGirl
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by gauchecritic
Call me recalcitrant, call me weird, call me on 1-800-LUURVE but I have never ever fantasised about scoring a winning touchdown in any bowl, super or otherwise.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Dear Gauchie.
That gives you something in common with about a billion men in the Peoples Republic of China.
MG

or any normal non-american guy!

 

[gauchecritic]

sino-american commonalities

Rounders and netball.

Gauche

 

[MathGirl]

Re: sino-american commonalities

Rounders and netball.

Gauche

Ping pong (or is that what you call 'netball?:"
MG

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

Returning to the non-con, I had the same problem when trying to think of one to write for that since I don't believe in rape.

I finally came up with "The Night Nurse" and got some good feedback on it; coz with men...while the mind does have a lot to do with sex...friction is friction, and many of my guy friends tell me it's very difficult to tell Rover to stay down when there is friction present. One reader told me they were laughing and horrified at the same time, which is, I think, the best compliment I've gotten yet!

 

[Croctden]

A profunctory nod at the thread's topic:
The line that always chaps me in erotic fiction, and you see it in story after story, is, "It was a dark and stormy night."

Really? I thought that more of an urban legand. I've never found a story that started way - I figured everyone would think it's too cliche.

PS: How do you do accents here? Do I have to paste from Word or what?

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Really? I thought that more of an urban legand. I've never found a story that started way - I figured everyone would think it's too cliche. Croctden

Guess I didn't have my tongue planted deeply enough in my cheek. You're right about that line being a cliche'. Whenever Charlie Brown's dog Snoopy was in his writer mode, that was the line he always used.

It's generally regarded as the worst opening line in the history of English literature. The author was an Englishman named Bulwar-Lytton. Here's a fun site you might want to check out about the contest named after this infamous author. http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

Rumple Foreskin

 

[TheEarl]

'She was 36 years old, but she looked only 18' is one that I'll never miss. Either she's 18, or she's not. Don't piss about. I have seen this sentence applied to 50 y/o in a Lit story.

The Earl

 

[Octavian]

I read that story too, Earl.

'She was 50, but she only looked 49.'

Octavian

 

[Alex De Kok]

Accents. (Presumably written, not spoken!)

<snipped>

PS: How do you do accents here? Do I have to paste from Word or what?

If you mean letter accents, such as in French words, cut-and-paste from a formatted Word document seems to work OK. For example My friend Thérèse.

You can also use HTML entities. It's long-winded, but it works, e.g

This should be e acute é and so should this é

This should be e grave è and so should this è

If you use the 'quote' facility here on the board and look at the source of this message you'll see what I mean by 'long-winded'. For anyone who needs them there's a list of HTML entities at W3Schools.com. Don't forget the semi-colon!

There's probably a much easier method. Weird Harold might know, or Svenskaflicka, as she sometimes writes in Swedish and that's full of accents!

Alex

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Accents. (Presumably written, not spoken!)

There's probably a much easier method. Weird Harold might know, or Svenskaflicka, as she sometimes writes in Swedish and that's full of accents!

Alex

I don't use any long lines with semi-colons or auts or stuff, I just write the sentences as I normally would, but on my Swedish keyboard. I suppose it justs automatically translates into the right HTML-codes. Like, if I write the three letters that only exist in Swedish, that is the a with a ring over it, the a with two dots over it, and the o with two dots over it, it looks that way to me, I can see the dots and the ring, but apparently, you guys can't. Or? Å Ä Ö. å ä ö. Do you see any dots or rings? I do.

I have a magic computer. The only things it can't do is to record my voice and play DVD's.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Svenska,

We always see dots and rings when you write.

No, really, we can see all your Swedish-ese just fine.

---dr.M.

 

[MathGirl]

Originally posted by dr_mabeuse We always see dots and rings when you write.

I always worry about those little loops and dots of Svenska's rolling off into a big pile down at the bottom.

Oops, sorry, Dr. M. I know piles at the bottom are a ... sore subject with you.

MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

MG - the difference between languages and mathematics, is that dots and rings and stuff on letters remain where you put them, nice and obedient things as they are where as your numbers and formulas twist and change without any logic.

I remember trying to solve an algebra problem back in senior high. Being the logic person I am, I was trying to find the method behind the counting, you know, like "whenever you have X, Y will always be the same as X times X, and Z will always be Y-3". Instead, our professor drags in a K that I have never heard of before, and when I try to understand what relation K has to the others, and why K is jumping in here suggesting that I divide everything by 353, and why is K 353, is it ALWAYS 353, and if not, where did that 353 worth of K come from???

My teacher made a -face, and replied sarcastically: "From the town square!"

That is NOT a good way to encourage a student not to drop out of math class...

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Sounds like someone's getting their PhD in potty-mouth studies.

You heard about the kid whose dog got hit in the ass by a truck? So he ran to the vet and said "Doc, Doc, ya gotta help me! My dog just got hit by a truck in the...the...the...."

The kid was embarrassed to say it, so the vet offers, "Rectum?"

"Rectum?" the kid cries, "Damn near killed him!"


---dr.N.

 

[MathGirl]

Woo woo woo

Dear Dr M,
Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh
MG

 

[Erlikkhan]

My Favorites

"She gasped when she saw the size of his manhood"

"She could barely stretch her lips around his swollen girth."

"She had never been penetrated so deeply in her life."

You can call it big penis envy. If I'm writing in the first person I just say "what you are about to read is a true story"

 

[Guest]

in a similarly throbbing vein:

,

 

[Whispersecret]

"Daddy, will you put this sunscreen on me, please?"


Oh, and you don't have to "believe in rape," to enjoy reading or writing non-consent stories. Like Dr m said, it's just fantasy. I don't "believe in" married people involved in threesomes either, but I like reading about it.