The pain/pleasure aspect
- Thread starter Owlz
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PinkOrchid
Anal Whore™
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catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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Arden, While I respect your right to your opinion, I have found the few instances where discussions have become rude to be from non-regulars or non-BDSM folk to the most part, and sometimes to heightened emotions of community members which occur in all areas of debate and discussion. That does not excuse it, but I prefer someone to feel comfortable with voicing their opinion, albeit a bit heated, than keeping it to themselves and developing resentment or misunderstandings.
Often too, such discussions on the board are the result of much more than you are seeing on the threads, and as has been mentioned here in this instance, contain a lot of offline/behind the scenes troublemaking for the express purpose of providing someone with their kicks. All I can say is I feel sorry for them if their life is so boring they can only find entertainment in coming here to create trouble and upset.
We are not all that bad and for the most part I have found everyone accepting and welcoming. Even those I have crossed swords with at times, still remain friendly and at times supportive, as do I with them as they recognise adults get over it and recognise the humanness of emotional reactions to certain topics and words. Is all part of growing and accepting we are not perfect, nor live in a vaccuum.
Catalina
Often too, such discussions on the board are the result of much more than you are seeing on the threads, and as has been mentioned here in this instance, contain a lot of offline/behind the scenes troublemaking for the express purpose of providing someone with their kicks. All I can say is I feel sorry for them if their life is so boring they can only find entertainment in coming here to create trouble and upset.
We are not all that bad and for the most part I have found everyone accepting and welcoming. Even those I have crossed swords with at times, still remain friendly and at times supportive, as do I with them as they recognise adults get over it and recognise the humanness of emotional reactions to certain topics and words. Is all part of growing and accepting we are not perfect, nor live in a vaccuum.
Catalina
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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PinkOrchid said:
PO please feel free to post when you want. Even the most experienced can still learn something and sometimes that learning can come through sharing the vision through new eyes. I myself have also found that through posting, even when I may get jumped on for something I say or think, I can learn and evolve to be more the person I am happy with. Can relate to how you feel though as I have experienced similar on more than one occasion, but as you realised, it is our own insecurity that inhibits us. I for one look forward to reading more from you.
Catalina
PinkOrchid
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Ebonyfire
Ball Stretcher
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PinkOrchid said:
I remember what the board was like last year, and it was not that respectful and kind. I was treated like shit when I first posted here until I stood up for Myself and got some things straight.
The kinder gentler forum that Arden speaks of is not one I am familiar with.
Mr Blonde
Literotica Guru
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Caitlynne said:
That was an awesome summary.
Nothing is perfect but the BDSM area at Literotica is still a great place to learn about others and yourself. Even if one is not familiar with the formal aspects or is not interested in some topics, there is still the curiosity to review what has been said and to try to put our own thoughts into words. It is not a chore when one has a sincere interest in the subject matter.
Mr Blonde
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Ebonyfire said:
I am trying to pile on....but look at my registration date. I only started posting a few months ago. I cannot speak for the other areas of Literotica, but the BDSM forum is much stronger right now than it was in the past. It has more quality people with diverse perspectivies, plus most people seem to have a more sincere interest in the topic without the poor signal to noise ratio. That was my perspective but now I see it is shared by others.
Arden
Un amor, Una verdad
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No, this has never been a perfect place. However the older threads that dealt with BDSM issues seemed to have posts that were well thought out, well written, and were very imformative even if people had different opinions or experiences to share. Sure, there were a few that thrived on creating controversy. There always will be, that's life.
When I come to this board, I do so to read about certain topics - and hopefully learn a thing or two along the way. I enjoy reading differing opinions, being able to see things from an alternative perspective is something good.
Not long ago, the Cafe was created to handle everyday chat, humor, and other things that were making it difficult to follow the serious posts at BDSM Talk... I thought it was a great idea.
But the serious threads here still turn into personal chat sessions. Some drop by and leave rude remarks just because they feel like it. There seems to be little respect for those attempting to start a serious discussion when the thread is hijacked several times per page with off topic posts and personal banter that doesn't relate to the thread.
It's just my opinion that some things are better said elsewhere. And, I'm not asking anyone to agree with my opinion either. Just stating the way I feel.
When I come to this board, I do so to read about certain topics - and hopefully learn a thing or two along the way. I enjoy reading differing opinions, being able to see things from an alternative perspective is something good.
Not long ago, the Cafe was created to handle everyday chat, humor, and other things that were making it difficult to follow the serious posts at BDSM Talk... I thought it was a great idea.
But the serious threads here still turn into personal chat sessions. Some drop by and leave rude remarks just because they feel like it. There seems to be little respect for those attempting to start a serious discussion when the thread is hijacked several times per page with off topic posts and personal banter that doesn't relate to the thread.
It's just my opinion that some things are better said elsewhere. And, I'm not asking anyone to agree with my opinion either. Just stating the way I feel.
MissTaken
Biker Chick
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Regarding Owlz: Unless I am missing something, it appears he has habitually annoyed others here and on other forums. He did over react to anelize's comments and I believe he misread her post. Anelize is one who can easily cut someone off at the knees when they are deserving and does so well and succintly. That post wasn't one of them.
However, I don't believe board members would be reacting to Owlz as they are based only on his asking questions that have been previously addressed. Many do do this. So, if he is a "preditor" as his troll frequently suggests or if there is something that has been made public knowledge, isn't it better to confront him with facts and links rather than by innuendo, suggestion and opinion. Pissing people off is not a crime and in fact, is standard fare in certain forums. I am not inviting a flame war, but am confused by the nature of this conflict. And no, I will not be doing an extensive search on this poster as there are thousands of posts and I, as well as most of you, just dont' have time for that.
Or, second option, isn't better to ignore him if his posting isn't to your tastes?
I have no opinion on Owlz. I take everyone at face value with a certain element of caution. And as the almight sticky suggests, anyone with a "serious" interest in BDSM is welcome here and we have a history of making them welcome, in most cases. So, Owlz, feel free to post. Be aware that your lit history and your history here will follow you. That isn't a BDSM trick, it is human nature and the nature of bulletin boards.
Regarding the state of the forums: Good stuff and bad stuff happens here as elsewhere. I will agree with arden that there are times when the hijacking is a bit excessive and also will be the first to raise my hand and admit guilt. I will do what I can about that, but as I said a couple of months ago, I will not be altering threads, moving threads or splitting threads unless it is the desire of the posters involved. You moderate yourselves, by and large and I must say, to that end, you have done a great job.
I also believe there is a quite diverse number of new posters and topics here on a daily basis and we are very active in posting. Or you are. I haven't been posting a lot, but have been reading.
Sorry for letting my two cents turn into a buck, but there it is folks!
However, I don't believe board members would be reacting to Owlz as they are based only on his asking questions that have been previously addressed. Many do do this. So, if he is a "preditor" as his troll frequently suggests or if there is something that has been made public knowledge, isn't it better to confront him with facts and links rather than by innuendo, suggestion and opinion. Pissing people off is not a crime and in fact, is standard fare in certain forums. I am not inviting a flame war, but am confused by the nature of this conflict. And no, I will not be doing an extensive search on this poster as there are thousands of posts and I, as well as most of you, just dont' have time for that.
Or, second option, isn't better to ignore him if his posting isn't to your tastes?
I have no opinion on Owlz. I take everyone at face value with a certain element of caution. And as the almight sticky suggests, anyone with a "serious" interest in BDSM is welcome here and we have a history of making them welcome, in most cases. So, Owlz, feel free to post. Be aware that your lit history and your history here will follow you. That isn't a BDSM trick, it is human nature and the nature of bulletin boards.
Regarding the state of the forums: Good stuff and bad stuff happens here as elsewhere. I will agree with arden that there are times when the hijacking is a bit excessive and also will be the first to raise my hand and admit guilt. I will do what I can about that, but as I said a couple of months ago, I will not be altering threads, moving threads or splitting threads unless it is the desire of the posters involved. You moderate yourselves, by and large and I must say, to that end, you have done a great job.
I also believe there is a quite diverse number of new posters and topics here on a daily basis and we are very active in posting. Or you are. I haven't been posting a lot, but have been reading.
Sorry for letting my two cents turn into a buck, but there it is folks!
