The Poets' Collaboration Thread
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Lauren Hynde
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During the long weeks I was Internetless in December, I thought of a thousand things to do here in the boards. Start a new Form of the Month thread, but one to really do every month, no exceptions, was discussing with Ange the other day a bi-monthly thematic challenge of some sort, remembered to revive this thread, post that forgotten poem and start a new one (as well as doing something special with Rowdy Ted 
-- don't ask)...
Of course that as soon as I come back, I got all kinds of distractions and forgot about it.
-- don't ask)...Of course that as soon as I come back, I got all kinds of distractions and forgot about it.
Lauren Hynde
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*hugs*WickedEve said:
JUDO
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Quick! Pencil and paper! Emergency! Before she loses her train of frustrated thought! Make a list!
1.) Start a new Form of the month thread.
2.) Bi-monthly thematic challenge, hosted by Angie and Lauren
3.) Post old poem
4.) Write the new one
5.) Do something really fun with Rowdy Ted.
Okay, I got the first few. Anyone have more suggestions on how to keep the Poetry Forum lively?
- Judo
PS- Oooo...I just thought of one. heh-heh...
1.) Start a new Form of the month thread.
2.) Bi-monthly thematic challenge, hosted by Angie and Lauren
3.) Post old poem
4.) Write the new one
5.) Do something really fun with Rowdy Ted.
Okay, I got the first few. Anyone have more suggestions on how to keep the Poetry Forum lively?
- Judo
PS- Oooo...I just thought of one. heh-heh...
Lauren Hynde
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Tease... I'll show you my train of frustrated thought... Tomorrow.JUDO said:
Luffing Sheet to Point Break is posted. GO VOTE!
Lauren Hynde
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Have you ever heard of 'Glosas' (glosses)? It's a poetic composition (not formally strict, as you'll see) very popular in some romantic countries (Spain, Italy, Portugal,...) between the 14th and 17th centuries, but which kept many followers in these countries even today, as a poetic exercise if nothing else.
I couldn't find any example in English, so I suppose this short explanation will have to suffice. The structure is very simple.
1st part--Mote (motto): an introductory short stanza (can even be only a single line) usually authored by another poet;
2nd part—Glosa(s) (gloss(es)): A (series of) stanza(s) that expand on the theme presented in the mote.
There are many variations, but the most usual composition consists of stanzas that end with a verse from the mote, until all of them are used. If the mote has four verses, the subsequent glosa would be of four stanzas.
Any questions? No? Perfect.
I thought we could get started with a 6-stanza poem, and selected Alfred Lord Tennyson's "The Eagle". Because this poem only has two rhyme sounds, and there is a limited number of additional rhymes in English, I thought it wasn't a good idea to mirror the mote's structure in the glosa, but tried to kept some of its flavour.
Mote
He clasps the crag with crooked hands;
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ring’d with the azure world, he stands.
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt he falls.
Glosa
He stands alone, dark and upright--
In his chest, promises unbound
In his lips no smile or a sound
But the perfect clandestine rite
Of closing fists, close to the ground--
He reads the sand of future strands,
He clasps the crag with crooked hands.
...
So, I hope you understood what I've been talking about: next poet to come writes a stanza (preferably following the structure and rhyming scheme of my initial stanza) which will end with: 'Close to the sun in lonely lands'
Just remember that this is one poem, and not a group of disconnected stanzas.
Best of lucks.
I couldn't find any example in English, so I suppose this short explanation will have to suffice. The structure is very simple.
1st part--Mote (motto): an introductory short stanza (can even be only a single line) usually authored by another poet;
2nd part—Glosa(s) (gloss(es)): A (series of) stanza(s) that expand on the theme presented in the mote.
There are many variations, but the most usual composition consists of stanzas that end with a verse from the mote, until all of them are used. If the mote has four verses, the subsequent glosa would be of four stanzas.
Any questions? No? Perfect.
I thought we could get started with a 6-stanza poem, and selected Alfred Lord Tennyson's "The Eagle". Because this poem only has two rhyme sounds, and there is a limited number of additional rhymes in English, I thought it wasn't a good idea to mirror the mote's structure in the glosa, but tried to kept some of its flavour.
Mote
He clasps the crag with crooked hands;
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ring’d with the azure world, he stands.
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt he falls.
Glosa
He stands alone, dark and upright--
In his chest, promises unbound
In his lips no smile or a sound
But the perfect clandestine rite
Of closing fists, close to the ground--
He reads the sand of future strands,
He clasps the crag with crooked hands.
...
So, I hope you understood what I've been talking about: next poet to come writes a stanza (preferably following the structure and rhyming scheme of my initial stanza) which will end with: 'Close to the sun in lonely lands'
Just remember that this is one poem, and not a group of disconnected stanzas.
Best of lucks.
Last edited:
Lauren Hynde
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Thanks. I'm sure you'll do great.
WickedEve
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This is still rough and needs work. Not sure if the last part works or if I should use hands again.
Details glimpsed upon grains shifting,
The sea smoothes his sanded sheet
Of dissolving words as waves retreat.
What will be is seaward drifting.
Now he waits for tides to complete
The answers that slipped from his hands
Close to the sun in lonely lands.
Details glimpsed upon grains shifting,
The sea smoothes his sanded sheet
Of dissolving words as waves retreat.
What will be is seaward drifting.
Now he waits for tides to complete
The answers that slipped from his hands
Close to the sun in lonely lands.
Lauren Hynde
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I like where it's going. Personally, I don't have any problem with 'hands'. The repetition could work very well, in fact. We can edit a little later, but right now, I think it's consistent enough for someone else to pick up and start working on the next stanza!
Ring’d with the azure world, he stands.
Ring’d with the azure world, he stands.
JUDO
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A third Glosa:
Assured by success, he surveys his realm
Of targets, currents, rocks and waves;
A soaring master with them, his slaves.
Adapted o'er eons to guide this helm,
His gold eyes see yon quickened knaves.
Wings tucked and leaning, he makes his plans,
Ring’d with the azure world, he stands.
Could use a little work. Little help, gals?
- Judo
Assured by success, he surveys his realm
Of targets, currents, rocks and waves;
A soaring master with them, his slaves.
Adapted o'er eons to guide this helm,
His gold eyes see yon quickened knaves.
Wings tucked and leaning, he makes his plans,
Ring’d with the azure world, he stands.
Could use a little work. Little help, gals?
- Judo
Lauren Hynde
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I really like the way your stanza reads, Judo. Just have a couple of things I'd like to point out, although I'd need more time to think how to correct them.
--The third verse, A soaring master with them, his slaves. I know there's nothing wrong with it, but doesn't that 'with them' sound weird? Is there any way of getting rid of that and making the line flow better?
--The sixth verse, Wings tucked and leaning... Here we have a problem of continuity with the rest of the stanzas. In the first one, I'd made a reference to 'lips' and 'fists', and in the second, Eve used 'hands', following the same lead. My initial idea was that the 'eagle' image, while clearly present, remained metaphoric throughout the poem, or at least in the first 3 stanzas. I'd like to hear what you two (and anyone else interested in writing the 4th stanza, The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls--Angeline?) have to say about this.
Let's talk.
--The third verse, A soaring master with them, his slaves. I know there's nothing wrong with it, but doesn't that 'with them' sound weird? Is there any way of getting rid of that and making the line flow better?
--The sixth verse, Wings tucked and leaning... Here we have a problem of continuity with the rest of the stanzas. In the first one, I'd made a reference to 'lips' and 'fists', and in the second, Eve used 'hands', following the same lead. My initial idea was that the 'eagle' image, while clearly present, remained metaphoric throughout the poem, or at least in the first 3 stanzas. I'd like to hear what you two (and anyone else interested in writing the 4th stanza, The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls--Angeline?) have to say about this.
Let's talk.
JUDO
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A third Glosa:
Edited as suggested. Better?
Assured by success, he surveys his realm
Of targets, currents, rocks and waves;
A soaring master who loves his slaves.
Adapted o'er eons to guide this helm,
His gold eyes see yon quickened knaves.
Goal locked and ready, he makes his plans,
Ring’d with the azure world, he stands.
Edited as suggested. Better?
Assured by success, he surveys his realm
Of targets, currents, rocks and waves;
A soaring master who loves his slaves.
Adapted o'er eons to guide this helm,
His gold eyes see yon quickened knaves.
Goal locked and ready, he makes his plans,
Ring’d with the azure world, he stands.
Lauren Hynde
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Much better. And we can always edit the whole lot later, right?
Mote
He clasps the crag with crooked hands;
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ring’d with the azure world, he stands.
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt he falls.
Glosa
He stands alone, dark and upright--
In his chest, promises unbound
In his lips no smile or a sound
But the perfect clandestine rite
Of closing fists, close to the ground--
He reads the sand of future strands,
He clasps the crag with crooked hands
Details glimpsed upon grains shifting,
The sea smoothes his sanded sheet
Of dissolving words as waves retreat.
What will be is seaward drifting.
Now he waits for tides to complete
The answers that slipped from his hands
Close to the sun in lonely lands.
Assured by success, he surveys his realm
Of targets, currents, rocks and waves;
A soaring master who loves his slaves.
Adapted o'er eons to guide this helm,
His gold eyes see yon quickened knaves.
Goal locked and ready, he makes his plans,
Ring’d with the azure world, he stands.
Next:
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls
Mote
He clasps the crag with crooked hands;
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ring’d with the azure world, he stands.
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt he falls.
Glosa
He stands alone, dark and upright--
In his chest, promises unbound
In his lips no smile or a sound
But the perfect clandestine rite
Of closing fists, close to the ground--
He reads the sand of future strands,
He clasps the crag with crooked hands
Details glimpsed upon grains shifting,
The sea smoothes his sanded sheet
Of dissolving words as waves retreat.
What will be is seaward drifting.
Now he waits for tides to complete
The answers that slipped from his hands
Close to the sun in lonely lands.
Assured by success, he surveys his realm
Of targets, currents, rocks and waves;
A soaring master who loves his slaves.
Adapted o'er eons to guide this helm,
His gold eyes see yon quickened knaves.
Goal locked and ready, he makes his plans,
Ring’d with the azure world, he stands.
Next:
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls
Lauren Hynde
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If no one else decides to join in before the 17th, the three of us will just have to write another extra stanza each. But I do wish someone else would have a go.
juicyjesus
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Poetry
I'd like to participate. Do you accept controversial verse?
I'd like to participate. Do you accept controversial verse?
Lauren Hynde
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We accept everyone. Just as long as you follow the Glosa rules that are ^up there^ somewhere...
Define controversial.
Define controversial.
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