The Psychology of Pain

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Psychology of Pain

Oh I don't know.....I enjoy a good grovel now and again !!

Oh Baby!!!I'll grovel at your feet ANY DAY, WITH PLEASURE!! I mean*****SIR*****


-kym- trying to get back in MY-Sir's good graces

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Psychology of Pain

Oh I don't know.....I enjoy a good grovel now and again !!

Yes but you have a "vested" interest! LOL

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

Contrats!

pain in a sexual situation has always equaled pleasure for me, from the outset. i need the pain, to feel satisfied....even in my past 'nilla relationships... so, i'm sorry Eb, i don't know which one is me am i a masochist, or a submissive woman, who enjoys pain?

by the way.. dentist= bad pain for me.. not good.. lol

edited to add: WOOHOOO i made GURU with this post!!

on your 500th post, SierraMoon!

Is there anyone who likes the dentist? I like him bound naked to his own chair with his legs splayed opened with all his tender bits displayed for fun and amusement!

Eb

 

[SierraMoon]

Re: Contrats!

on your 500th post, SierraMoon!

Is there anyone who likes the dentist? I like him bound naked to his own chair with his legs splayed opened with all his tender bits displayed for fun and amusement!

Eb

OMG Eb... that is toooo funny!! i would pay to see that!! i may even shed my subskin to have a crack at him!!! hehe

thanks for the congrats on my new status... Guru.. i like the sound of that... never thought i would make it this far!!
sierra

 

[morninggirl5]

Here is a another question for Dom/mes and subs alike. I would appreciate it if submissives speak from their own point of view, and dominants give their perspective on the submissives that have encountered (past or present).

Thanks.

Do you consider your self to be a masochist, a person who like pain for its own sake, or a submissive, who enjoys pain because it becomes pleasure?


In may case, I have the later. My male subs enjoy pain because it becomes pleasure.

Eb

I'm a submissive who doesn't enjoy pain. For me, pain is that bad thing that streaks through my body and stops me dead still with tears in my eyes.

The sensation of a spanking or heat of a bite on my nipple? That's not pain, that's all pleasure.

 

[monster666]

Re: Re: Re: The Psychology of Pain

It makes sense. But I am not submissive generally. With the right woman I can be, but my submissiveness is a gift, and in turn I want respect. If submissiveness is demanded, it's gonna be a bad day for everyone. And my submissiveness is left at the bedroom door on the way out.

My desire to please also leads me to switch from time to time when my partner wants to be dominated, though I am most comfortable as a submissive in the bedroom.

Hmm, that's a toughy Monster.

Let's look at it. If your ability to take pain is in direct relation to her administration of it, with the result being pain becomes pleasure, perhaps that places you in the submissive category.

This is my reasoning, if you were a masochist, you would like/crave the pain regardless of her need to be sadistic.

Does that make sense? It is an intriguing thought. Thanks for your great post.

Eb

 

[MsWorthy]

Re: Contrats!

. . .
Is there anyone who likes the dentist? I like him bound naked to his own chair with his legs splayed opened with all his tender bits displayed for fun and amusement!

Eb

Eb, I have a dentist for you. If you will take care of him I will be in your debt. ~lol~


My partner enjoys pain because she knows I enjoy administering it and that I intend it to be pleasureable. She enjoys *rough* sex and spankings but has no real craving for anything more (in the way of pain/intense sensation).

 

[Persephone36]

Re: Thanks

to all who have posted. Some of you had a hard time labelling yourselves. Which goes to show that sometimes things are not black or white. There are nuances and shading that perhaps means we have a little of both in us.

Eb

You're so right Eb.

First off, lol, I'm not sure I'm submissive or just as easily kinky sexually speaking. Perhaps I'm something of both.

Secondly the pain/pleasure boundary to me is an interesting question in and of itself. I like nipple clamps because they heighten sensation for me. But not when they're made so tight that they hurt. I'm not drawn to pain for pain's sake. I'm actually somewhat frightened of pain.

And yet, I'm someone who gets acupuncture once a week and have for a few years. Now, for a lot of people -- they would see that as someone who has a high threshold for pain. I don't even make a peep when the needles go in -- I barely notice them. If I do, it's like someone hitting my funny bone -- an odd sensation. But not painful. However, in my acupuncturist's office, she works as part of team, you can sometime hear a number of different patients. And soooo many of them yell out when the needles are going in. Still, they come and do it because I suppose they find like I do that it's an effective treatment.

So perhaps the reason why I enjoy nipple clamps or anal sex, is the edge of pain/pleasure for me. I'm drawn to spanking for the same reason, but I've yet to experience so I can't know. So, I suppose I do have (what I would call) a medium threshold for pain.

So, does that make me a submissive if it's about pain turned into pleasure? I think not if I went with that definition. I think for me -- submission is more purely psychological and control oriented (still a mental process in many ways.) And of course, it's solely sexually in my case.

Does that answer anything, lol? I think it goes to reinforce what I quoted you on. That nuances and shadings are more the rule than the exception.

As always -- a great question.

Perse

 

[Quint]

I'm nuanced as well.

Hard to believe that one weekend with T was enough to change my post from a "I only dig the wussy pain combined with liberal doses of pleasure" to "well, pain by itself is okay...actually, it's kinda nice. But only if he's giving it to me or commanding me to give it to myself!"

The physical part of it is largely involuntary. I seriously need a weekend vacation to sub space. I've only visited once, and it looked like a nice place to hang around for longer. So far, pain has been pain. But it gets me wet, even when I'm bordering on "yellow"! I don't know why exactly that is.

But my enjoyment of it is much more mental. T wants to hurt me. I want to please T. Therefore, I will take more pain than I would in any other situation. That makes it all worthwhile, not just tolerable.

 

[spankableBelle]

Re: Re: The Psychology of Pain

I'm a submissive who doesn't enjoy pain. For me, pain is that bad thing that streaks through my body and stops me dead still with tears in my eyes.

The sensation of a spanking or heat of a bite on my nipple? That's not pain, that's all pleasure.

i'm in complete agreement here...

 

[Cirrus]

Cripes, I don't know what I am. Masosub, maybe. I experience 2 different kinds of pain during play, and 2 different responses/sensations as a result.

Let me see if I can explain this well enough.

There's straight pleasurable pain which only "works" on certain body parts. For example, I go NUTS when He bites my neck and the tops of my shoulders over the traps. And I'm not talking little hicky giving nibbles...full on, teeth clamped down, hard enough so that you can differentiate the outline of every one of his front teeth. It hurts, but it's pleasurable as all hell...sometimes, if I'm in the right mood, I think I could have an orgasm from that alone. Same treatment and response goes for nipples. He said he's afraid he'll bite one off one of these times. Inner thighs is also a good one, though those are a little more tender.

Then there's painful pain. He fashioned a wooden paddle, ala Catholic school, and the first time he used it he started out soft and went gradually harder. At about half strenght, he knocked the breath out of me. Not because it was terribly painful, even though it did hurt...I still don't know why I responded like that. Just something about it. This kind of pain to me isn't overtly erotic, in fact in a non-erotic setting it would probably hurt like hell, but I think the fact that it's part of the scene, part of the whole energy, is what excites me about it, not the pain itself because I don't find the physical sensation arousing, but the mental aspect of receiving it is.

 

[lovetoread]

I am so not into pain.

Things such as spankings,nipple play (to an extent) and things like that is about all that I do.

I seem to get very dry when there is too much pain,and thats just not fun in my book.

 

[Hot4Heels]

Pain is an interesting topic for me.

I live with pain everyday. Between the trashed knees, bursitus, carpal tunel, and a few other assorted dings and things me and pain have become close intimate friends over the years. I don't take any medications but deal with pain mentally.

The "sensations" I experience in a BDSM scene are not pain to me but intense and generally quite pleasurable sensations. If something does pass into the realm of "pain" then I start mentally blocking it out which really defeats the purpose.

I remeber an old post by cym about 'ohh baby" pain and "FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, It HURTS" pain. There are different flavors and degrees of pain some are good some are not.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Pain is an interesting topic for me.

I live with pain everyday. Between the trashed knees, bursitus, carpal tunel, and a few other assorted dings and things me and pain have become close intimate friends over the years. I don't take any medications but deal with pain mentally.

The "sensations" I experience in a BDSM scene are not pain to me but intense and generally quite pleasurable sensations. If something does pass into the realm of "pain" then I start mentally blocking it out which really defeats the purpose.

I remeber an old post by cym about 'ohh baby" pain and "FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, It HURTS" pain. There are different flavors and degrees of pain some are good some are not.

Thanks for posting your views hot 4 heels!

I think that pain in this context is meant to be good pain.

Eb

 

[Shadowsdream]

pain...

I have trained pain sluts that craved the strongest sensations for the sake of pain but soon learned that the pleasure their endurance brought to Me when I showed them how low their real tolerance was..became more a pain sought for My pleasure than their own. I would say there is growth in seeking pain for to please rather than be pleased in many cases. If a pain slut is always left just on the verge of almost close enough they will seldom get past just seeking pain rather than truly enjoying it. IMO.

I also train others that pain is only about pleasure...it fills their entire beings with heat and erotica. My toy needs the pain to feel he is fullfilling all of My needs which in effect fills his as well.

 

[cellis]

I really hate the word

pain.

I perfer to think of it as a need for erotic sensations... and make no mistake for me the need is real and keen.

I think I have talked about this before... about how my needs for those sensations change from time to time depending on where my head is.

There are times when Himself can do whatever to me and it is all good... it is all pleasure and then there are times when just a medium touch of the flogger sends me screaming. I don't know what makes the difference.

Then as the switch in me emerges I am more about the service end of the business. I want that little subbie girl to serve me and Himself. I can flog her ass if I have to and derive a certain amount of satisfaction from knowing that I have reached a desired effect with her. But I really get more from the power exchange and the mind control.

So Eb, I am not quite certain where I fall in the spectrum of things, but where ever that is, I am rather enjooying the journey.

 

[Daddyslilpet]

I consider myself to be a submissive who enjoys sensations that border on intense. I enjoy the pleasure I get from a good spanking, flogger, cane, or hand, as well as nipple play, up to and including the Wartenburg Wheel.

I do not consider myself masochistic, because I do not get pleasure from pain.

~smiles~
dixi

 

[Ebonyfire]

I consider myself to be a submissive who enjoys sensations that border on intense. I enjoy the pleasure I get from a good spanking, flogger, cane, or hand, as well as nipple play, up to and including the Wartenburg Wheel.

I do not consider myself masochistic, because I do not get pleasure from pain.

~smiles~
dixi

Thanks dixi for your perspective. You are definitely not alone in your point of view

Eb

 

[MysCynthia]

Here is a another question for Dom/mes and subs alike. I would appreciate it if submissives speak from their own point of view, and dominants give their perspective on the submissives that have encountered (past or present).

Thanks.

Do you consider your self to be a masochist, a person who like pain for its own sake, or a submissive, who enjoys pain because it becomes pleasure?


In may case, I have the later. My male subs enjoy pain because it becomes pleasure.

Eb

My husband/sub feels the same way. He loves to get to the point where the "pain" is pure pleasure.
I don't consider myself a sadist but I love to "hurt" him. The response is wonderful.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: The Psychology of Pain

My husband/sub feels the same way. He loves to get to the point where the "pain" is pure pleasure.
I don't consider myself a sadist but I love to "hurt" him. The response is wonderful.

Thanks for your response. I too, am not a sadist. But I do enjoy the response I get from my "ministrations".

Eb

 

[SexyChele]

I've watched this thread grow, and have found the responses to it most interesting. I think it shows the full range of those involved in BDSM quite well.

As for me, well, I don't yet have the full experience needed to make a valid determination. I know that I do not like pain for pain's sake. And there is certain pain that just turns me off - teeth on my clit is a guaranteed show stopper. However a well-placed clamp on that same clit can make me squirm with pleasure.

I do know that the rougher my nipples are treated, the more pleasure I gain from it. I do like the lick and feel of the flogger, crop, and leather belt as well. But sometimes having my breasts bound too tightly takes away the pleasure.

I suppose it just...depends. (Now, how is that for an answer?) Depends on my mood, which body part is affected, and what he is using to illicit the sensation.

Oh, and what is all this about dentists? Actually, I do enjoy going to my dentist. I should - I've spent enough time there, and have given him enough of my money! Besides, even though he's married with 2 kids, he's goodlooking as hell, and has the greatest sense of humor!

 

[Never]

I enjoy pain, as a challenge, but have no interest in it sexually.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I enjoy pain, as a challenge, but have no interest in it sexually.

I am curious. Can you elaborate on how you use/achieve this challenge?

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

I suppose it just...depends. (Now, how is that for an answer?) Depends on my mood, which body part is affected, and what he is using to illicit the sensation.

It is a very valid answer in my book, Chele. Pain threshholds do change depending on our mood and the atmosphere we are in.

Eb

 

[slave C]

Pain for me is a release mechanism. Life catches up with me and master knows when to lay it on me. I enjoy the gradual climb up the pain ladder. Slowly building intensity. When it gets so painful the tears flow and I am screaming (luckily we live out in the middle of nowhere) he will put those nasty plastic clothes pins on my nipples. Then lets me hang there (enjoying ?) the sensation of being dominated. Then he will whip the hell out of me with a whip he made himself. It will quickly get me into subspace. Afterwards , for some reason, I am more submissive, grateful, soft and loving. Eager to please. Pain is not all about sex. Pain makes me want to be more feminine for master and myself. It bends the mind. We havent had a session in about a month , my sciatic nerve decided to go haywire, so I know when we have the next session I will have to build up again. Hope this helps. submissively slave c