The SCURRILOUS reader - for both whack jobs and mommy lovers . . .

[MarshAlien]

Hey twerp:

What's wrong with inbreeding? It saves changing the intials on all my towels.

Yours sincerely in God,

Smaedra

This post was so good I just wanted to repeat it to make sure everyone saw it.

 

[Guest]

This post was so good I just wanted to repeat it to make sure everyone saw it.

No no no no....you don't get back on my good side that easily, especially after blaming me for all your mental quirkiness. To tell your fans that I was responsible when they all know me as completely quirk free is a terrible slanderous event and I shall be contacting my lawyer....As soon as I can find that 800 number he gave me.

It was something like 800-SUE-EBDY.

By the way, did you hear about the new birth control pill that's out there. You take it right before sex. Best thing, it tastes like mint so if you don't have any water, it doesn't leave that druggy taste in your mouth.

Wanna know what it's called?

Pre-dick-a-mint!

 

[MarshAlien]

No no no no....you don't get back on my good side that easily, especially after blaming me for all your mental quirkiness. To tell your fans that I was responsible when they all know me as completely quirk free is a terrible slanderous event and I shall be contacting my lawyer....As soon as I can find that 800 number he gave me.

It was something like 800-SUE-EBDY.

By the way, did you hear about the new birth control pill that's out there. You take it right before sex. Best thing, it tastes like mint so if you don't have any water, it doesn't leave that druggy taste in your mouth.

Wanna know what it's called?

Pre-dick-a-mint!

Honey, I can't believe that you want to air our dirty laundry like this. But okay. You know what they say, to air is human . . .

So I've started this fairy tale, "Who Snite and the Seven Whores," which has been posted on another site and has been submitted to Literotica (so it should be posted in late August if it gets approved). And I dedicated it to daniellekitten. Today I get this very nice e-mail that said, in part, "How did you come up with such a sick idea?" So I answer him, of course, and say it's all daniellekitten's doing and I give him her e-mail address and tell him to keep trying because she's not always good about answering the first one and sometimes you have to send it about 10 or 11 times. And I copy danielle, of course. That's only polite.

And she gets all huffy and tells me to stop blaming my mental quirks on her. So now you're up to date. I reminded her, of course, that if she hadn't told me she was writing a Snow White story without a prince (it's really more of a Goldilocks story, called "Lisette," and I highly recommend it to you, the discriminating reader), I wouldn't have asked her if it also involved a bunch of lesbian dwarfesses, and I certainly wouldn't have tried to guess their names (in my story, they're Stormy, Cranky, Sweetie, Catty, Chatty, Slutty, and Nurse, and they're all straight).

So I would like to know how it could possibly not be her responsibility? Hmm? This is really more pre-Story Feedback, because the story hasn't been posted yet, but feel free to weigh in. On my side.

Remember, dani, to forgive is divine. Did I mention I thought you were divine?

 

[Guest]

Honey, I can't believe that you want to air our dirty laundry like this. But okay. You know what they say, to air is human . . .

So I've started this fairy tale, "Who Snite and the Seven Whores," which has been posted on another site and has been submitted to Literotica (so it should be posted in late August if it gets approved). And I dedicated it to daniellekitten. Today I get this very nice e-mail that said, in part, "How did you come up with such a sick idea?" So I answer him, of course, and say it's all daniellekitten's doing and I give him her e-mail address and tell him to keep trying because she's not always good about answering the first one and sometimes you have to send it about 10 or 11 times. And I copy danielle, of course. That's only polite.

And she gets all huffy and tells me to stop blaming my mental quirks on her. So now you're up to date. I reminded her, of course, that if she hadn't told me she was writing a Snow White story without a prince (it's really more of a Goldilocks story, called "Lisette," and I highly recommend it to you, the discriminating reader), I wouldn't have asked her if it also involved a bunch of lesbian dwarfesses, and I certainly wouldn't have tried to guess their names (in my story, they're Stormy, Cranky, Sweetie, Catty, Chatty, Slutty, and Nurse, and they're all straight).

So I would like to know how it could possibly not be her responsibility? Hmm? This is really more pre-Story Feedback, because the story hasn't been posted yet, but feel free to weigh in. On my side.

Remember, dani, to forgive is divine. Did I mention I thought you were divine?

So it's all my fault. Now you sound like my sister. She blames everything on me as well...sigh.

 

[BarbarouSevil]

So it's all my fault. Now you sound like my sister. She blames everything on me as well...sigh.

There's nobody, and I mean nobody (other than himself, of course), that SCURRILOUS enjoys quoting more than Darth Vader:

"...sister. So, you have a sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me."

SCURRILOUS

 

[jomar]

I missed it. If this were GB we'd have popcorn and someone would be instigating.

Psst, DK, c'mere. Wait there MA, I have something I need to tell you in a sec...

 

[SweetWitch]

Honey, I can't believe that you want to air our dirty laundry like this. But okay. You know what they say, to air is human . . .

So I've started this fairy tale, "Who Snite and the Seven Whores," which has been posted on another site and has been submitted to Literotica (so it should be posted in late August if it gets approved). And I dedicated it to daniellekitten. Today I get this very nice e-mail that said, in part, "How did you come up with such a sick idea?" So I answer him, of course, and say it's all daniellekitten's doing and I give him her e-mail address and tell him to keep trying because she's not always good about answering the first one and sometimes you have to send it about 10 or 11 times. And I copy danielle, of course. That's only polite.

And she gets all huffy and tells me to stop blaming my mental quirks on her. So now you're up to date. I reminded her, of course, that if she hadn't told me she was writing a Snow White story without a prince (it's really more of a Goldilocks story, called "Lisette," and I highly recommend it to you, the discriminating reader), I wouldn't have asked her if it also involved a bunch of lesbian dwarfesses, and I certainly wouldn't have tried to guess their names (in my story, they're Stormy, Cranky, Sweetie, Catty, Chatty, Slutty, and Nurse, and they're all straight).

So I would like to know how it could possibly not be her responsibility? Hmm? This is really more pre-Story Feedback, because the story hasn't been posted yet, but feel free to weigh in. On my side.

Remember, dani, to forgive is divine. Did I mention I thought you were divine?

For heaven's sake! I go away for a couple (12) hours and you two are at each other's throats. Go to your rooms! Both of you! Or I'll make you each write a 10,000 essay on how wonderful the other is.

Behave, children!

 

[cloudy]

For heaven's sake! I go away for a couple (12) hours and you two are at each other's throats. Go to your rooms! Both of you! Or I'll make you each write a 10,000 essay on how wonderful the other is.

Behave, children!

I dint do nothin'.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Sheesh, two pointless threads....

 

[jomar]

Sheesh, two pointless threads....

Sad, but true.

 

[Guest]

For heaven's sake! I go away for a couple (12) hours and you two are at each other's throats. Go to your rooms! Both of you! Or I'll make you each write a 10,000 essay on how wonderful the other is.

Behave, children!

He started it!!!

Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. (am I at 10,000 yet?)Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh AlienMarsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.

 

[SweetWitch]

He started it!!!

Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. (am I at 10,000 yet?)Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh AlienMarsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp. Marsh Alien is a twerp.

Dammit! Don't make me stop this car!

 

[naedra]

The only real problem with incest, if indeed there can be said to be any real problem at all, is that it makes breaking up so very difficult. The "mailing list" to which the young lady refers is the Christmas card that I send out to all my cousins, naedra included. And the picture is simply intended to replace the delightful picture of naedra's newest two-month old baby sister, nudera, that I seem to have misplaced. I would have asked her mother, my Aunt Snidera, but the poor woman just began a two-year prison term for attempted lottery fraud. As for the picture of me, I would point out that that was not what she was saying before she broke up. Her story, in fact, is set forth in my epic "Cousin Naedra's Very Needy" (56 blimpillion views, 26 million votes, 1.12), where we find the line "'Oh, God, Scurry Baby, you're sooooo biiiiiig. Can I have another picture for my album, please?"

Her cursing, moreover (the plaintive "JESSSSSSSUS CHRISTTTT"), suggests that she has not lost her interest in family relationships. In the most April 30 submission by my fellow famous best-selling author, sc****es, whose stories also have a whiff of incest about them, we find this curse: "Jesssus Christtttttt." Coincidence? I think not. Inbreeding? Maybe so.

SCURRILOUS

You’re in so much trouble now! I had a talk with Uncle Daddy and he says that you’re out of the family reunion/orgy. Don’t be expecting your invitation anytime soon.

And, who are you to tell the entire world about Cousin Mama’s momentary loss of control on her gambling addiction? I’m so angry with you. Word is spreading through the entire family. You ain’t gonna get laid again—ever! If you ever want someone to touch that tiny little noodle again, you’re going to have to step outside the family. I shudder at the thought.

Good luck, Cuz. You’re done.

 

[BarbarouSevil]

You’re in so much trouble now! I had a talk with Uncle Daddy and he says that you’re out of the family reunion/orgy. Don’t be expecting your invitation anytime soon.

And, who are you to tell the entire world about Cousin Mama’s momentary loss of control on her gambling addiction? I’m so angry with you. Word is spreading through the entire family. You ain’t gonna get laid again—ever! If you ever want someone to touch that tiny little noodle again, you’re going to have to step outside the family. I shudder at the thought.

Good luck, Cuz. You’re done.

Somebody's looking for a spanking. Of course, you were always looking for a spanking, weren't you, Naedra? As I recall, my best-selling story "Just Cuzzin' You Belong Over My Knee, That's Why" (94 chipchillion views, 34 million votes, 3.14159) was about that weekend we spent together last November at my cabin in the Poke-a-Nose (now I remember why I liked Cloudy's entry in the SCURRILOUS Poetry Contest so much (Post # 37)).

Anyway, SCURRILOUS has no time for family squabbles. As devoted subscribers will no doubt recall, I promised at the very beginning of this thread to:

* Give you my views about people who annoy me.

.

Today's annoyance is drecksideofthemoon (or maybe it's darksideofthemoon - the man clearly needs to buy a vowel at the very least). Above, drksdfthmn posted the following:

Sheesh, two pointless threads....

This is only one pointless thread, drksd. If you want to compare us to another one, a link would be the minimum in politeness. What, do you think SCURRILOUS has time to go around reading other threads on which you may have dropped one of your pearls of wisdom? Hah. Who would write all the bestsellers?

Oh, and ellipses have three dots, NO MORE AND NO LESS!!

And now to someone who has successfully curried favor with SCURRILOUS. Jomar referenced The SCURRILOUS Reader in another thread, and has been named the interim director of publicity for the SCURRILOUS publishing empire. In return, I have mailed him two of my sisters. That's right, all the way to Canada. "But I'm not from Canada," Jomar whines. Shut up. You're a Canadophile. Same thing. I'm sure your friends up there will forward them to you if you're telling the truth. Don't feed them too much (they get heavy quickly (I'll send Cousin Naedra's picture)).

SCURRILOUS

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Today's annoyance is drecksideofthemoon (or maybe it's darksideofthemoon - the man clearly needs to buy a vowel at the very least). Above, drksdfthmn posted the following:

This is only one pointless thread, drksd. If you want to compare us to another one, a link would be the minimum in politeness. What, do you think SCURRILOUS has time to go around reading other threads on which you may have dropped one of your pearls of wisdom? Hah. Who would write all the bestsellers?

And your point?

 

[BarbarouSevil]

And your point?

sigh..................... [size=+4]\/[/size]

* Give you my views about people who annoy me.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

sigh..................... Give you my views, just to be annoying [size=+4]/\[/size]

Okay.

 

[jomar]

And now to someone who has successfully curried favor with SCURRILOUS. Jomar referenced The SCURRILOUS Reader in another thread, and has been named the interim director of publicity for the SCURRILOUS publishing empire. In return, I have mailed him two of my sisters. That's right, all the way to Canada. "But I'm not from Canada," Jomar whines. Shut up. You're a Canadophile. Same thing. I'm sure your friends up there will forward them to you if you're telling the truth. Don't feed them too much (they get heavy quickly (I'll send Cousin Naedra's picture)).

SCURRILOUS

Hey...thanks for the...job. Your sisters are here. My Canadian friends got them a ride in an 18-wheeler delivering food to Chick-fil-A's. Are you sure you're related? I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but they're not even close to what I imagined they'd look like and their facial hair is distracting.

 

[_Lynn_]

Sheesh, two pointless threads....

I missed out on both. Should I feel bad???

 

[SweetWitch]

You guys are having way too much fun.

 

[BarbarouSevil]

I missed out on both. Should I feel bad???

Well, we did have a poetry contest over here on this one, and certainly would have been grateful for an actual poet, particularly one who knew how to rhyme.

And of course, another mistress is always welcome. We're not related, though, are we? Bummer

SCURRILOUS

 

[_Lynn_]

Well, we did have a poetry contest over here on this one, and certainly would have been grateful for an actual poet, particularly one who knew how to rhyme.

And of course, another mistress is always welcome. We're not related, though, are we? Bummer

SCURRILOUS

What a Bummer
I'm not a Poet;
you want rhyme
now I know it;
not your sister
you aren't My dad;
please don't spit
this is really bad.​

 

[BarbarouSevil]

What a Bummer
I'm not a Poet;
​

Don't lie to SCURRILOUS. It annoys him.

MistressLynn

MISTRESSLYNN'S SUBMISSIONS

This page shows a list of stories and/or poems, that this author has published on Literotica.

POETRY SUBMISSIONS

Accept Me Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 04/17/07

Big Man Of The House Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 03/13/07

Corners Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 03/25/07

Crushed Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 03/03/07

Cry For help Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 03/13/07

Did You Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 04/04/07

Did You Ever Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 03/13/07

Fantasy Fuck Poem Erotic Poetry 04/17/07

Freedom Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 04/17/07

God's Test Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 03/13/07

Locked Up Inside Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 02/28/07

Nature Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 03/13/07

Playing With Fire Poem Erotic Poetry 04/17/07

Seasons Change Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 04/04/07

Shadows Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 03/25/07

The Answer Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 03/25/07

The Mask Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 03/13/07

There Is Still Hope Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 03/07/07

You Were My Chance Poem Non-Erotic Poetry 03/07/07​

I count 19 poems. Some of them even rhyme.

 

[_Lynn_]

I don't see anywhere that it says I am a Poet.

 

[BarbarouSevil]

I don't see anywhere that it says I am a Poet.

Are you deliberately trying to annoy SCURRILOUS? According to TheFreeDictionary.com, which SCURRILOUS uses because a) it's free; and b) he would otherwise have to get up off the couch and find the real dictionary, a poet is:

1. A writer of poems. 2. One who is especially gifted in the perception and expression of the beautiful or lyrical:
"[the naturalist John Burroughs] was the bard of the bird feeder, the poet of the small and homey" Bill McKibben.​

According to YOUR homepage, accessed from YOUR public profile (very nice pictures, btw), "These are a list of the . . . poems . . . that this author [i.e., you] has [i.e., have] published on Literotica." So if you wrote them, you are a writer of poems, i.e., a poet. And if you didn't, you are taking credit for somebody else's work, i.e., a plagiarist. Your choice. Poet or plagiarist. Don't make SCURRILOUS pick. Up until now, he has assumed you're a poet. He even likes poetry. Here is one of his:

Little boy blue, come blow your horn.
The sheep's in the meadow, the cows in the corn.
Your sister, I noticed, was looking real phat;
But you do whatever, we're okay with that.​

So he at least fits the second definition. For your turn we've selected a stanza from Playing With Fire, one of "your" poems.

Body lean and taut yet soft
looking forward to anothers touch.
Shaft reaching up high
promising mutual fulfillment.​

So, um, what time do you get off work?