THE STALKING

[Womanlover]

SILLYABLES?

Too many Syllables? Fuck, you're kidding! I heard Reba McIntire get FIVE, count em, FIVE out of the word 'dog' it sounded something like:

Daaaaaooowahguh!!!!

nyha ha ha ha ha!

smoochies on toesies to Sweet darlin Scrumptious American honey pie Muffin!

[Edited by womanlover on 08-25-2000 at 02:51 PM]

 

[Womanlover]

Eh, Muffeen! Dat crazy bassard dat womanLUVAIRE.......dat dum fuck e walk aroun' everware now tryin' a tock like dat Baverlee lee lee......Davies eh? E, drivin' me crazy wid dat deep sout stuff, eh? E taken too manny body shecks an all dat, I tink!

 

[Womanlover]

HELMUT KRAUS uses Womanlover's Computer and Literotica membership

Alrrrriiiiiite!!!!! Schwein hunt! I haff herd enuff, enuff of ziss shtocking bullshit sreads! On ze vun hant, ve haff ziss....ziss.......imbecile, voomanluffah who sinks only off ze toes of ziss.....ziss........Muffin person.....who iss von of zees.....zees........ gatchet luffing, Big Mac volfing American frauleins who sink about nussing but sex, sex, sex.....! Vut iss cumming of my Kanada.....?? Vut, I ask you! Ziss iss not ze same place zat I came to after ze fall of ze REICH ven ziss fine country helped me to eshcape after I serfed faisfully at Ausvitch under Himmler!!!! Sveinhunnnnnnnt!!!!.........

*bang* *goes flying off computer chair* *CRASH*

[Edited by womanlover on 08-25-2000 at 03:28 PM]

 

[Womanlover]

EH! Bavarlee lee..........dat was a great body sheck eh?? You learn dat real quik, eh?

Why, thankee, Gene Klod......y'know, Ah thank this har gayem jes maht sell some down south y'all thank so???

[Edited by womanlover on 08-25-2000 at 04:00 PM]

 

[KillerMuffin]

Re: SILLYABLES?

Too many Syllables? Fuck, you're kidding! I heard Reba McIntire get FIVE, count em, FIVE out of the word

Dawg is SUPPOSED to sound that way. When I say dog, it has more syllables than Mississippi, which I, of course, always shorten to Missssippi.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I'm a shameless hussy and the diff needs a new gasket... I wonder...

*bats her eyes at jean claude and says in her sexiest most come hither voice...* "Ooooo you big strong canadian, would you please change the grease in my differential? Pretty please? With sugars on top?"

 

[Womanlover]

Re: I'm a shameless hussy and the diff needs a new gasket... I wonder...

*bats her eyes at jean claude and says in her sexiest most come hither voice...* "Ooooo you big strong canadian, would you please change the grease in my differential? Pretty please? With sugars on top?"

Ehhhhhhhhhh..........heh heh heh.........FinaLEE La Chere Muffeen see da lite eh? She see ow shallow is dat womanLUVAIRE an' he only suck dem toes.......heh heh, an' also, La Muffeen reconnize dat Jean Claude is Le Vraie Canadian eh, an' not dat ANGLAIS WomanLUVAIRE, who is more like a yank, eh? Come to La Riviere Chaudiere, Belle Muffeen an' we play in dat mud! Eh, I sink zat Canadians and Americans should unite eh? An' what say we begin zat wid you an' me eh, sweet darlin American honey pie goddess!

Oh an' eh, dat Helmut Krows, he want to know eef you eat many cheeseberGAIRES like mos' American Frauleins........what a peeg he is, eh?

[Edited by womanlover on 08-26-2000 at 07:44 AM]

 

[KillerMuffin]

With studious delicacy and great care, KillerMuffin slowly crosses her eyes, sticks out her tongue, and attempts to touch the tip of her nose with it.

 

[Womanlover]

With studious delicacy and great care, KillerMuffin slowly crosses her eyes, sticks out her tongue, and attempts to touch the tip of her nose with it.

Ehhhhhhhhh!! he he! Dat las tread I pose give you a toe curling orgASMA eh, Muffin! Dat excite you so much, ma Cherie!

 

[Womanlover]

Nuther message frum Beverly Lee Davis

Howdy Muffin!

Ah, gotta tell ya, there nuts up har.........that Jean Klod and the Womanlover live in a for story Igloo......damn an' is it cold??? Las nyahht it the temperchure dipped to 75 freezin fuckin DEgrees.......! Ana way, them boys got up ina mornin' an fixed me sum vittles.....hotcaykes, Canadian bacon, half dozen ayeggs, and it all looked fahn and dandy when they set it down in fronna me but then that frog Gene Klod pored a half bucket o maypul seerup raht over the hole damn mess an said sumpin lahk......"Eh, Baverlee lee lee, you eat dat eh? Dat will grow air on your chess and blow dem off yer bum too, eh?
Well, I wanna tell ya them Canucklehead gomma loots kep a feedin me til I was fit t bust an' mayde me warsh it all down with Molson Canaydian beer then gayve may three more lessons in body sheckING! Anaway, shore do miss Amarica.....y'all sen me a message t' comfort me long a little eh,......damn! there I said it agin!!! I meant HUH......the word is HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH!!!! Dammit and the letter is ZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZeeZee!!!! There! Oh oh.........YIIIIIIIIIIIIKESSSSSSS HERE COMES TWO MORE BODY SHECKS HELP ME SOMEBODAYYYYY!!!!!!

[Edited by womanlover on 08-27-2000 at 08:18 AM]

 

[Womanlover]

Bavalee Lee! You scare away dat Muffeen!

Now Baverlee Lee Davis ave you scare away dat darlEENG MuffEEN, EH? All dem reader of dis tread gonna be very fache wid you for dat, not to menshon dat WomanlUVAIRE!!!

 

[KillerMuffin]

*KillerMuffin sits back on her chair, swings her feet cause she can't touch the floor, and eats a few grapes.*

"I hear they're doing wonders with prozac now days. Are you sure that body shecking business isn't some sicko canucklehead sexually deviated practice you're trying to perpetrate on us unsuspecting wildly innocent never doing anything the least bit perverted yanks?"

 

[KillerMuffin]

By the way wtf is fache?

 

[Womanlover]

La Chere Muffeen!

Ah..........darLEENG muFFEEN you cum back........fache.........dat is wad you call angry in engleesh, eh? Pro Zak? What is dat when some Amateur zak get really good he turn pro?? You sweet darleeng yankee hooney pie!

 

[KillerMuffin]

*Shakes head in exasperation* Oy vey...

 

[Womanlover]

Beverley Lee Gives Advice!!

Howdy Muffin!

Y'all gots t' git yoused to these hair Canuckleheads honey...........I find my EGGSasperashon meltin away daylee as the bliss of INsanity sets in!!! Womanluvver wants more toe wigglin' an' Ahm a home sick fer possum!

 

[Womanlover]

HELMUT KRAUS AGAIN

Vy does he insist on talking viss ziss........ziss.......ziss...........Muffin kreature.......cheesburger, gatchet luffing, American!.....Ziss Muffin

 

[KillerMuffin]

KillerMuffin rudely body checks that Kraus guy into homeplate, then jumps up and down on his back viciously.

"I AM ON A DIET YOU WILL NOT MENTION CHEESEBURGERS TO ME AGAIN IS THAT UNDERSTOOD??????"

Kicks a 100 yard field goal kick into Kraus's belly. Pete Stoyanovich would be proud.

 

[Womanlover]

Eh! WomanLOVAIRE, you see wad dat MufFEEN do to dat Kruass eh? She would make a very good Canadian Woman, I tink eh, lots of dem are like dat......ha ha!

*Seeing Helmut Kraus lying helpless at home plate, unable to defend himself........an naked evil figure is seen dashing across the field, he strips the inert body of Helmut Kraus and begins taking advantage of it........the loudspeakers come on.......it is the Police giving DIXON CARTER LEE warning to put down his weapon.......!!!!

 

[KillerMuffin]

All this and I can spell Stoyanovich too.

 

[Womanlover]

Ah! Stoyanovich........Eh, we got lots o dem on da prairie in Canada, eh? WaltAIRE Stoyanovich, I knew dat guy an' e aving sum menTAL problem eh, so e go to da shrink an' da shrink tell im, ansser every word I tell you wid da firs word dat cum to your mind, WaltAIRE......an e say Okay. So here is da interview:

Doctor: feet
WaltAIRE: sex
Doctor: legs
WaltIARE: sex
Doctor: hands
WaltAIRE: sex
Doctor: lips
WaltAIRE: sex
Doctor: neck
WaltAIRE: sex
Doctor: titties
WaltAIRE: sex
Doctor: Vagina
WaltAIRE:.........SASKATCHEWAN!!!

ha ha ha ha ha! Dat crazy Ukranian bugger eh? He tink Vagina da Capital of dat Province, ha ha!

 

[Womanlover]

THE YANKS DON'T KNOW, DIPSHIT!

Jean Claude, I just got through reading your message about Stoyanovich, you dipshit, most of them don't even know where Canada is, let alone that REGINA is the Capital of Saskatchewan!!!

 

[Womanlover]

MUFFEEN SHE KNOW!!!!

EH, WomanluvIARE, La Chere MuffEEN, she know lot more dan you tink eh? She know about dat figger of peach called Ironing, she can spel hard word like dat Syrupinto me disintime.........she know ow to bodysheck.......give er some credEET eh? Beside, don't bug er, she on a diet you know?

 

[KillerMuffin]

Canada: A Brief Dissertation

By the stupid Yank who knows nothing.

First visited in the 11th century by vikings, it was later penetrated (I love that word) by explorers, including but not limited to: John Cabot, Jacques Cartier and Samuel de Champlain. The french founded Quebec in 1608 and made Canada a colony of france in 1663. In the Treaty of Paris signed in 1763 the colony was ceded to Britian. French rights were guaranteed by the Quebec Act of 1774. Only one serious revolt against British rule occurred in 1837-38, well two seperate uprisings, one led b WL MacKenzie in Upper Canada (English speaking) the other by Louis Papineau in lower Canada (french speaking). The British North America Act established Canada as a dominion, the four founding provinces being Quebec, Ontario, Nova Scotia, and New Brunswick. Manitoba in 1879, British Columbia in 1871, Prince Edward Island in 1873, Saskatchewan in 1905, Alberta in 1905, Newfoundland in 1949. The Northwest Territories were administered by the Hudson Bay Company and eventually became federal territory in 1970. The Yukon was made a seperate territory in 1898. Seperatist tensions particularly in the french speaking Quebec, developed in the 1960s and still continue.

I could go on, but you still have to play catch up.

 

[KillerMuffin]

PS Canada is hooked to Alaska which floats off the coast of Mexico with Hawaii.