THE STALKING

[Womanlover]

LMFHO!!!!!

Eh, you vary smart Muffeen.....and funny girl! In case you don know, dem letter I type in da SUBJECT mean: LAUGHIN MY FUCKIN HASS HOFF!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I am lovVING you so much my Chere Muffeen!

You know dat stoopid woman lovAIRE he still complain dat you not spell separatist right........even aftAIRE all dat good hissry lesson you gave dat guy eh? Whad a jerk!

[Edited by womanlover on 08-31-2000 at 01:51 PM]

 

[Womanlover]

DEM SEPARTIST TENSHONS

An boy do dey continyou eh??? I tell you I wanna bodysheck dem anglophones sometime.......!

 

[Womanlover]

Re: Canada: A Brief Dissertation

By the stupid Yank who knows nothing.

First visited in the 11th century by vikings, it was later penetrated (I love that word) by explorers, including but not limited to: John Cabot, Jacques Cartier and Samuel de Champlain. The french founded Quebec in 1608 and made Canada a colony of france in 1663. In the Treaty of Paris signed in 1763 the colony was ceded to Britian. French rights were guaranteed by the Quebec Act of 1774. Only one serious revolt against British rule occurred in 1837-38, well two seperate uprisings, one led b WL MacKenzie in Upper Canada (English speaking) the other by Louis Papineau in lower Canada (french speaking). The British North America Act established Canada as a dominion, the four founding provinces being Quebec, Ontario, Nova Scotia, and New Brunswick. Manitoba in 1879, British Columbia in 1871, Prince Edward Island in 1873, Saskatchewan in 1905, Alberta in 1905, Newfoundland in 1949. The Northwest Territories were administered by the Hudson Bay Company and eventually became federal territory in 1970. The Yukon was made a seperate territory in 1898. Seperatist tensions particularly in the french speaking Quebec, developed in the 1960s and still continue.

I could go on, but you still have to play catch up.

Ahem, very good cutie toes, but you forgot the most significant event in Canadian history.........LOST WAYNE GRETZKY TO THE YANKS! GOBBLED UP BY THEIR SECRET WEAPON JANET JONES!!!

 

[Womanlover]

Beverly Lee Davis is amazed

Dang Muffin, how'd yall learn all that? An' here's me thankin that ya didn even know what State Vancouver is in.........an it's B.C., in case ya don't!!!!

 

[KillerMuffin]

Vancouver is the largest city in British Columbia. Its on the Burrand Inlet, Strait of Georgia. Its an important pacific port and a major manufacturing center of wood, paper, iron, steel, and chemicals. It does shipbuilding, oil refining and fish processing. It became the terminus of the trans-Canada railroad in 1886 and was named for the English explorer George Vancouver who surveyed Vancouver Island. He was associated with Captain Cook in some of his voyages.

 

[Womanlover]

HELMUT KRAUSS IS SUSPICIOUS!

Kan no vun but me see sroo ziss.........????? Ziss is overrrvelmingly obvious zat ziss......ziss......ziss.....Muffin Kreature iss going to ze veb site off Fancoufer unt looking up ze information zat she iss needing!!! CHEESEBURGER, BEEK MAC, FRIES, COKE UNT MILKSHAKES!!!!

 

[KillerMuffin]

You're a dead man walkin kraus. Enjoy every breath you breathe, when I catch you I intend to do things to you that not even your fevered evil little imagination could come up with and all of them very very very very painful.



I did not go to a website for my information. So there.

 

[Womanlover]

Helmut Is Delighted

Ahhhhhh!!!! So ziss......ziss Muffin iss not zo bad afterall.....yes, unt I vas only vondering iff you could.........maybe........possibly.....vare....some lezzer outfit ven you hurt me? Zat last bodycheck you gafe me vuz not bad........UNT! Za followup attack from ziss.....ziss......Dixon Karter Lee....vuz zo rudely interrupted by ze police!

Ve must meet vare ve can be alone togezzer! Nya ha ha ha!

 

[Womanlover]

Jean Claude

Eh, Ma Chere Muffin, I just bodycheck dat Krauss off dis compooter.......don't lissEN to dat asshole eh? I tol dat womanLOVAIRE dat you smart an' don need Web side to fine out dat stuff about Canada an Vancouver.....I said, dat girl got an IQ higher den dat CN TowAIRE in Toronto, eh? An you know dat WomanlovAIRE he just smile like e know someting more dan Jean Claude.........an I tot he gonna say someting real profond eh, an' e say, to ask you for a nice pic of your toesies.........EH??? Whad a crazy bassard eh, dat womanLOVAIRE!

 

[Womanlover]

A WORD STUDY FOR KILLER MUFFIN FROM WALTER STOYANOVICH

Noo verd studee for tooday from Ukrainian/Canadian Dikshonary ve are now havink! Verd in kvestion is:

ELEVATOR

Elevator: dat is vat is livink in svamp in Florida an' makin' lukkage an vallett out off dat bastud!

Mor interestink verd studee direkt from Vagina Saskatchewan to cum.

Kisses from Walter to Muffin in between bites of good Ukranian garlic sausage!

[Edited by womanlover on 09-01-2000 at 08:25 AM]

 

[KillerMuffin]

*shudder* ick, I'd rather kiss a drunken scot eating haggis. And yes, I know that can be arranged.

Yo dead man, will this do ya for?

http://www.baroness.com/ecatalog/SKIRTS/microzip.html

I'd prefer the latex to leather. Much easier to get your blood out of it.

 

[Womanlover]

Helmut is Pleased!

Ziss is fairy shinee, niftee unt nice, Muffin! Haff you ordered ziss vun already? Oh,oh, here comes zat lunatic frog Jean Claude wiss a new body check......YIIIIIKES!

Haff many nice Burgers unt fries today! Nya ha ha ha!

[Edited by womanlover on 09-01-2000 at 10:27 AM]

 

[Womanlover]

Angus MacHaggis at yerrrrr serrrrrvice Mufffin!

Yu take th' high rrroad, an I'll take th' low rrrroad......*hick*

ahhhhhhhhhh! Muffin lassie.......I couldn nay hulp bu see yerrr lass thrrrread.....an' th' womanloverrrrr alloued me t' use his computerrrr!

Smoochies t' ya.....frrrom betwween bites o hagus lassie!

 

[Womanlover]

Anonymous narrator's comment

While she sleeps, the scrumptious Muffin's mind is filled with all sorts of lustful thoughts........what does she want most to do? Torment the disgusting Helmut Krauss? Be squeezed in the arms of her adoring fan, the big strong Canadian, Jean Claude? Or have her toes sucked and her whole body licked and tantalized by the adoring Womanlover? Ugly odours of garlic keep penetrating (love that word) her dreams.........until finally she can resist no longer, she grabs a nice, juicy, thick garlic sausage from her fridge. She takes it in her soft, beautiful female hands, and do you know what she does with it......???? She sucks and licks it.......then screams, "GARLIC FOR ONE.........GARLIC FOR ALL.....!!! YES YES YES!!!

 

[KillerMuffin]

You are a sick and twisted individual. Have you considered professional help? Garlic sausage? What is wrong with you? Are you going to be spamming the wonders of garleek brand garlic soon? I don't like pigs. I do not eat pigs except for the rare meat lover's pizza. Pigs are entirely too close to human flesh for comfort. There are reasons why they utilize pigs parts as organ donations, skins, livers and now hearts. There is a reason the phrase "long pig" came to be. This is just too canniblistic for me. I shall take myself off and be ill now...

 

[Womanlover]

Walter Stoyanovich replies

Yes, I answer Muffin......I seek it profashinal help every time I butcher it pig because I am too busy with farm to do it myself! New verd studee soon to cum from Vagina, Sask.

 

[KillerMuffin]

My adoring public awaits...

Ya'll'll have to pardon me weirdo, doh!, I mean Walter. I can't call you Walter. You just aren't Walter. There simply isn't any way you could hope to acheive Walter's Walterness like Walter does. I'll just call ya'll doofus, kay?

Anyway, my adoring fans await me, the hang around me with constant pleas for things only I can give. Okay, so it's my critters and they're hungry but a girl takes what she can get.

 

[Womanlover]

NEW VERD STUDEE FOR MUFFEEN

From Canadian/Ukranian verd book by Walter Stoyanovich, verd studee for Muffin:

verd in kvestion: CRITTERS

Critters: dat iss peeple vatt for dum reeson vatt they begin do not continew:

Eggshample in senthence: "Keep doing it job, and not be CRITTERS!"

from Vagina, Saskatchewan Garlic kisses frum Walter Stoyanovich.

P.S. That Helmut Krauss tell me giff it messach to Muffin:

"tell ziss....ziss......ziss.....Muffin kreatcher ziss:

Cheeseburker, fries, banana schplit UNT.........Hot apple stchtoodle mit coffee!"

 

[Womanlover]

Beverley Lee Davis Invites Muffin to the Igloo!

HOOOOOOOWWWWWWWDY MUFFIN HONEY!

Y' no, this Womanluvver and the frenchy Jon Klod got this for storey igloo here in downtown Vancouver, State of B.C., an' they was fixin' t' throw a big party here an' wonted me t' INvite y'all t' come........he even set up a speshal room for ya filled with all kinds o' sharp devices where y'all can ennertain that Helmut Krauss........an' he's got a hhhhhheeeeeewge bed we can all get inta.......ha ha.......

Womanluvver, Jon Klod, Helmut, Walter, an' yours truly Beverley can all git in thar with ya.....we cood have a hewwwwge pardy an' all an' womanLuvver wunders if'n y' got some geerlfrenns who might wanna cum too? But he says, if'n ya don wont all us guys......it's real, EASY for him t' get rid uv us if'n y' wont it t' be jist for two? Naymley.....you 'n' him 'n' Jon Klod....heh heh!"

Kisses from Beverley Lee

 

[KillerMuffin]

KillerMuffin dcc's some black market prozac to Womanlover. "Here you go, this should help."

 

[Womanlover]

JEAN CLAUDE

Eh, Muffeen, I meese you eh? You know, I foun' out wad is dat Pro zak eh? Dat stuff give WomanLUVAIRE hard on, an he say he don' need dat.......he need soft on so dat he can roll over in bed when he sleepin......heh heh! Crazy bassard eh, dat WomanLUVAIRE.....he sure luv you CHERE MUFEEN You make him laughing alot, and he say dat good ting!

 

[Womanlover]

REV. DR. PROVIDENCE ZACHARY

Due to the incessant insistance of one known as womanlover, (he pestered my office daily with his calls) I have come to review his case. I am Dr. PROvidence ZACary, (Harvard) B.A.,TH.B, B.Sc., M.A.,Th.M.,Ph.D.,D.D., Pie R2, NBC, ABC, CBS,CBC,CNN, Oprah, Rosie, Letterman, Short, I am the inventor of PROZAC.

I would seem that Womanlover is so respectful of your erudite opinion, that he took immediate and swift action to consult the best "professional" help that money could procure......namely, yours truly. However, after having thoroughly examined him, I can find nothing wrong with him more than the typical wild, childish, moronic ramblings that seem to be so common in especially,Canadian males when hockey is in off season......other such examples are Jim Carrey, Martin Short, Dan Akeroyd, Leslie Neilsen, John Candy,(the late) and other such with whom, it is difficult to maintain an apparently sane converstation for the duration of at least five minutes.

However, after having thoroughly read this five page long thread, it has come to my attention that you, Killer Muffin, have given yourself up to be "Seraphically disinclined." This is serious. Of the two conditions, Seraphicical Disinclension, and Cherubifical Disinclension, the Seraphicical condition is much more serious.

After careful consideration of all relevant factors, it would tend to appear that YOU have need of my product, AND, in addition, as well, you also, need the added, extra, treatment, of having your vagina vigorously penetrated by a long, thick, hard penis, all the while having your toes sucked, this, of course, done in reality and not merely in the imagination, wherein lies the Seraphicical Disinclension affliction, i.e., to merely imagine and not do. Therefore Womanlover and Jean Claude have offered their loving services ONLY, in your best interest, and of course, unselfishly putting aside their own desires which they both loathe to fulfill.

 

[Womanlover]

Eh, Muffeen!!! Whaddya tink o' dat doctor eh? She spell a hole lot o' dam ard word, an' er IQ pretty high like yours eh, Muffeen!!!

Kisses from J.C.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Were I to be of the angelic variety of critter, I fancy that I would be amongst the cherubim, due to my, mmmmmm, rather violent nature and equally as violently overprotective maternalistic instincts. Not a seraph. Hence my seraphic disinclination. However all the cherubim vacancies have been filled and I have be relegated to mere human.

KillerMuffin dccs womanlover a dictionary for his alternate personalities to peruse and enjoy. "Read it, know it, apply it."

 

[Womanlover]

Paddy O'Limmrick visits Womanlover and gets to read Literotica.com threads!

A limmerick from Paddy to Muffin.

Now who is the lout who says poetry's out?
Who says that a rhyme doesn't matter?
Let him march to the mall and the men's room wall,
he can read while he empties his bladder!

For poems abound with wisdom profound,
and with mysteries they help us to cope.
But my mind is on stuffin' this hon Killer Muffin,
before these Canucklehead dopes!

Smoochies to Muffin lass from Paddy O'Limmerick

YIIIIIIIIIIKEEEEEEESSSSSSS here comes two body checks!!!!!

[Edited by womanlover on 09-05-2000 at 04:52 PM]