The validity of online relationships.

[Light Ice]

For it not to be cheating the spouse/bf/gf/whatever needs to know you come here and be okay with it but I refuse to judge anyone. There are those who feel their life is such crap they have to escape and have some little secret to make them feel like they have power over some little portion of their lives. Or a passive aggressive get back at who they feel has done them wrong... to each their own... Life is too short to care what others do unless they are family and they are harming themselves.

I imagine his wife and kids wouldn't share your tolerance of his behavior.

 

[Ahren]

There are those who feel their life is such crap they have to escape and have some little secret to make them feel like they have power over some little portion of their lives. Or a passive aggressive get back at who they feel has done them wrong... to each their own... Life is too short to care what others do unless they are family and they are harming themselves.

I can't believe someone just said this with any seriousness. Is this a joke?

 

[Light Ice]

I can't believe someone just said this with any seriousness. Is this a joke?

We're still on Lit, Ahren. Believe it.

 

[Asa]

I imagine his wife and kids wouldn't share your tolerance of his behavior.

Okay how do you feel it would still fall under cheating if the spouse KNEW and had no problem with his presence on this site. I speak from a fairly open minded past I was in an open relationship Marriage for 7 years prior to my current marriage.

 

[Hikari]

For it not to be cheating the spouse/bf/gf/whatever needs to know you come here and be okay with it but I refuse to judge anyone. There are those who feel their life is such crap they have to escape and have some little secret to make them feel like they have power over some little portion of their lives. Or a passive aggressive get back at who they feel has done them wrong... to each their own... Life is too short to care what others do unless they are family and they are harming themselves.

That is all well and good, but when you have a family and kids you should conduct yourself with a little more integrity.

I'm not married. My boyfriend knows I like to write erotica. I've told him everything. He actually likes it because it makes me randy, causing me to take it out on him.

However, when you enter into a marriage, an agreement, your spouse agreed to it on the grounds that you would not be engaging in relationships with other people.

Now if your in a marriage where that's okay, fantastic, but if that's not the case it's your responsibility to not violate the terms of your romantic agreement or instead to terminate a relationship that isn't panning out.

 

[Asa]

I can't believe someone just said this with any seriousness. Is this a joke?

And I can't believe that there are such judgmental people with nothing better to do with tehir lives on a site like this... To each their own

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

How odd. The conversation had started out so well, too.

 

[Light Ice]

Okay how do you feel it would still fall under cheating if the spouse KNEW and had no problem with his presence on this site. I speak from a fairly open minded past I was in an open relationship Marriage for 7 years prior to my current marriage.

No. If the spouse knows about it then how is that dishonest?

 

[Asa]

That is all well and good, but when you have a family and kids you should conduct yourself with a little more integrity.

I'm not married. My boyfriend knows I like to write erotica. I've told him everything. He actually likes it because it makes me randy, causing me to take it out on him.

However, when you enter into a marriage, an agreement, your spouse agreed to it on the grounds that you would not be engaging in relationships with other people.

Now if your in a marriage where that's okay, fantastic, but if that's not the case it's your responsibility to not violate the terms of your romantic agreement or instead to terminate a relationship that isn't panning out.

All I can state is my personal situation. My children know nothing about any of this and my husband finds it entertaining.

 

[Ahren]

And I can't believe that there are such judgmental people with nothing better to do with tehir lives on a site like this... To each their own

You hear a story on the news about how a young girl was abducted and murdered on her way home from school.

Is your reaction really to be "Whoever did it is not my family and they're not harming themselves, so there's no reason for me to judge"? Because that's essentially how you described your way of thinking. If this is incorrect then you probably should have worded yourself a bit better. If this is indeed how you think, then something is straight up wrong with you. Literally, something is not right with your brain.

 

[Asa]

No. If the spouse knows about it then how is that dishonest?

Thats all I was saying was IF the spouse knew then it was not cheating. Guess yet again Translation was needed... Getting kinda used to that with you *lol*

 

[Light Ice]

All I can state is my personal situation. My children know nothing about any of this and my husband finds it entertaining.

Well, I imagine your children don't watch you and your husband fuck, either. You deserve to keep your romantic life private from them. But your spouse knows, that's what makes you a better person than Daddy, for instance.

Who has an oblivious wife he does not love and lives in a fantasy world where it's OK to lie to the people closest to you for the sake of some cyber fucking with someone you've never met.

 

[Light Ice]

Thats all I was saying was IF the spouse knew then it was not cheating. Guess yet again Translation was needed... Getting kinda used to that with you *lol*

Yeah, it's weird. It's like if you don't say what you mean then people might not understand you.


Fuck, seriously?

 

[Asa]

You hear a story on the news about how a young girl was abducted and murdered on her way home from school.

Is your reaction really to be "Whoever did it is not my family and they're not harming themselves, so there's no reason for me to judge"? Because that's essentially how you described your way of thinking. If this is incorrect then you probably should have worded yourself a bit better. If this is indeed how you think, then something is straight up wrong with you. Literally, something is not right with your brain.

Yes such drastic situations are bad and grounds for judgment but Peoples personal relationships are just that their PERSONAL relationships and no one business but their own and in THAT case I have more important things to do then judge them because they don't fall under what I think is right or wrong.


((Translation #3 *lol*))

 

[Asa]

Well, I imagine your children don't watch you and your husband fuck, either. You deserve to keep your romantic life private from them. But your spouse knows, that's what makes you a better person than Daddy, for instance.

Who has an oblivious wife he does not love and lives in a fantasy world where it's OK to lie to the people closest to you for the sake of some cyber fucking with someone you've never met.

Exactly what he is doing is cheating but its not for me to judge so I don't...

 

[Hikari]

And I can't believe that there are such judgmental people with nothing better to do with tehir lives on a site like this... To each their own

When kids are involved, people should be fucking judgmental.

It's okay if you want to act childish at times, but when you bring children into this world you need to weigh your actions more heavily. Good parenting starts with the parents being good to each other. What you do concerning your partner reflects upon your children.

It's better to cut your losses and be honest than to fuck up the lives of your kids just because mommy or daddy wanted some extra-marital fun.

 

[Ahren]

Yeah, it's weird. It's like if you don't say what you mean then people might not understand you.


Fuck, seriously?

This seems to be a habit for this person.

 

[Light Ice]

Look, even if you don't have kids it's alright to judge people who are acting dishonestly. Lying to someone you committed to is inexcusable. Marriages break up. We're adults. There's nobody saying that you need to stay with the one you marry forever because, legitimately, marriage is nothing more than an agreement.

But that agreement is made with an expectation of respect and consideration. It's not fucking decent to lie to someone you're supposed to respect and consider. It's not decent as a human being, forget anything else, to be that kind of dishonest. You should have the courage to speak plainly to that person and give them the chance to choose for their own happiness.

By not doing that you're being malicious and cruel.

This isn't fucking complicated stuff. I dislike that on Lit it seems to be treated as a "shades of grey" argument. I mean, how fucking hypocritical? If Ausus' parter was completely dishonest with her I imagine she would not shrug and say, "live and let live."

And I'm really fucking certain, Asa, you wouldn't either.

 

[Asa]

When kids are involved, people should be fucking judgmental.

It's okay if you want to act childish at times, but when you bring children into this world you need to weigh your actions more heavily. Good parenting starts with the parents being good to each other. What you do concerning your partner reflects upon your children.

It's better to cut your losses and be honest than to fuck up the lives of your kids just because mommy or daddy wanted some extra-marital fun.

Cheating in the physical sense can hurt kids yes. Typing occasionally through out the day on a story like I do here No that I do not think can harm my kids. I tend to them first and then answer any storyline posts I have or threads like this to answer.

Taking a little time for yourself even if its 5 or 10 minutes at a time spread out throughout your day when you children are safe secure or in school is good for your mental health and wellbeing.. Trust me as a parent it gets hammered into our brains all during pregnancy and the childs infancy do things for you... take a little time for yourself or you will teach your children they can run everyones life and that not good parenting for them to grow up thinking that cause its not reality in the REAL world.

 

[Asa]

And now that bed time has rolled around for mine and feeling that I have better things to do than waste my time any further for now on this particular thread I leave you with one thing.. A short little song by Rodney Crowell... Simply titled "Its not for me to judge"

A man stumbles home from a lost weekend-it's not for me to judge
Woman gets stoned on valium and gin-it's not for me to judge
It's not for me to judge the rhyme or reason if its something i dont understand
It's not for me to judge what someone else does
There's a reason why so many people cry-it's not for me to judge
A man writes a book and we call him a prophet-it's not for me to judge
If presidents and preachers put it all in there pockets its not for me to judge
It's not for me to judge that truth is a picture
we develop while we learn how to crawl
It's not for me to judge what someone else does
there's a time and place we've all gotta face-but it's not for me to judge
It's not for me to judge-it's not for me to judge
we've got cable-but we're not able-to see the truth and our bitter youth
think they know the game-man it's so insane-ah, but it's not for me to judge

 

[Ahren]

Hey LI, a song tells us not to judge people so I guess we shouldn't do it anymore.

 

[Magnes1976]

Looks like i was premature in a previous post of mine. This is the General Board.

Can not believe the hot feelings this subject bring.

 

[Light Ice]

Hey LI, a song tells us not to judge people so I guess we shouldn't do it anymore.

I'm just fucking staring at my phone at this point as shit gets posted.

 

[Hikari]

Cheating in the physical sense can hurt kids yes. Typing occasionally through out the day on a story like I do here No that I do not think can harm my kids. I tend to them first and then answer any storyline posts I have or threads like this to answer.

Taking a little time for yourself even if its 5 or 10 minutes at a time spread out throughout your day when you children are safe secure or in school is good for your mental health and wellbeing.. Trust me as a parent it gets hammered into our brains all during pregnancy and the childs infancy do things for you... take a little time for yourself or you will teach your children they can run everyones life and that not good parenting for them to grow up thinking that cause its not reality in the REAL world.

Your spouse knows what you do. You are not getting emotionally involved. There is not a problem there.

If you are emotionally involved with someone outside your marriage and you're keeping secrets from them, there's no telling what else you're hiding. That sort of thing tends to scream marital problems.

My boyfriend and I even swap porn.

If you are involved with someone else on a deep emotional level, that is just as bad as fucking someone else. It means that you are not feeling the same way about your spouse as they feel about you. It means that you have grown tired of your lover emotionally and can't be honest about your needs or desires.

If it's pretty much done between a couple, then they should split. Marital problems are going to affect children.

You're wasting the time your spouse could be having with someone else, that may care enough to honor their promises.

That is just plain cruelty. It's also selfishness of the worst kind.

 

[Mephistophelily]

So, what you're saying is that married people should no longer SRP on Lit.
Because writing with others in a sexual manner is considered cheating.


...How long do I have to clear out?