the whole "dont look at me" thing

[rosco rathbone]

ya sure about that? heh.

Shup you. I meant amongst ladies. Slaves will slug it out in the galley when master is not looking.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Shup you. I meant amongst ladies. Slaves will slug it out in the galley when master is not looking.

you cant make me shup

 

[sunfox]

Human females, babe. Not lionesses and such.

re humans, check the disclaimer at the end.

Women have their own troubles that we as men can barely understand. They don't tend to lead to bar fights, though.

Again, I have to say you must not be closely acquainted with a lot of ladies.

Being raised in a pastor's household, I spent a lot of time observing the adult women growing up... and there's quite a bit of infighting. It may not always be physical.. and a lot of it is spoken cruelty or undercutting, but women are by no means immune or incapable of understanding the way that men act in regards to eye contact.

Silly boys. I promise I'll shush now, and let you think you have your Super Secret Eye Contact Fight Club.

 

[caela]

wow, y'all have a wide variety of opinions on this subject and what can i say but that i can't help throwing my own two cents worth into the mix.

being told not to look at someone - anyone at all - is for me one of the quickest ways not only to turn me off, but to light the fuse on my temper. i am one of those people that looks at everyone and loves to see the expressions on other peoples faces. if i am out in public and see someone trying not to look at anyway i always try to catch their eye and offer a smile and my gaze never waivers from anyones. i might blink first but i have to be ashamed of something i did to drop my eyes.

ohhh and those looks that damn a girl if she holds your gaze and damn her if she doesn't...i take them as an invitation to saucy behavior....but that is probably part of why my friends call me a wench or brat so often.

 

[graceanne]

Again, I have to say you must not be closely acquainted with a lot of ladies.

Being raised in a pastor's household, I spent a lot of time observing the adult women growing up... and there's quite a bit of infighting. It may not always be physical.. and a lot of it is spoken cruelty or undercutting, but women are by no means immune or incapable of understanding the way that men act in regards to eye contact.

Silly boys. I promise I'll shush now, and let you think you have your Super Secret Eye Contact Fight Club.

I have 3 sisters, and I agree. Women are territorial, but about different things then men. They are territorial about their houses, things like that. All I can say is that women can be down right cruel.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: Pffft

I'd be willing to bet that I wouldn't avert my eyes ... What big eyes you have, AA!

Your shoe's untied ... madja look ... again.

Dayum you folks are easy ...

As for the more serious side of the thread .... different strokes. i don't demand, and never have, anyone bow their head. Usually, the command from me hits the other end of the spectrum, "Look at me."

Forgive the diss if you take it that way, but i don't demand eye contact to see through the windows into another's soul. i do it to make sure what i say registers in the person's head. i watch the pupils for dilation and constriction, another body language dead giveaway, and nearly impossible to control within oneself.

As for bowing my head at the bequest of anyone, i gave up following that "advice" even from priests. Kowtowing is for kids. Since my early 20s, i think i've shown that kind of respect once, maybe twice, and i did it for a very specific cultural reason to an elder for a very special person for a very special reason. i, however, made that choice. No one demanded it of me, nor would i have heard tongue clucking for not doing it. Other than that, i figure if God wanted my head down, he'd have attached my chin permanently to my chest.

 

[snowy ciara]

Re: Re: Re: Pffft

Your shoe's untied ... madja look ... again.

Dayum you folks are easy ...

<snippage>

Forgive the diss if you take it that way, but i don't demand eye contact to see through the windows into another's soul. i do it to make sure what i say registers in the person's head. i watch the pupils for dilation and constriction, another body language dead giveaway, and nearly impossible to control within oneself.


'Zactly. I don't have good enough control of my emotions to not telegraph what I'm thinking. No poker face, so to speak. I'd love to not wear my emotions on my face. But it seems most PYLs demand that sort of transparency. pondering transparency of emotions in a D/s context.

As for bowing my head at the bequest of anyone, i gave up following that "advice" even from priests. Kowtowing is for kids. Since my early 20s, i think i've shown that kind of respect once, maybe twice, and i did it for a very specific cultural reason to an elder for a very special person for a very special reason. i, however, made that choice. No one demanded it of me, nor would i have heard tongue clucking for not doing it. Other than that, i figure if God wanted my head down, he'd have attached my chin permanently to my chest.

Interesting points. Food for thought.

Five edits. Damn, I'm getting tired. Even misquoted my thoughts up there..

 

[rosco rathbone]

Again, I have to say you must not be closely acquainted with a lot of ladies.

Being raised in a pastor's household, I spent a lot of time observing the adult women growing up... and there's quite a bit of infighting. It may not always be physical.. and a lot of it is spoken cruelty or undercutting, but women are by no means immune or incapable of understanding the way that men act in regards to eye contact.

Silly boys. I promise I'll shush now, and let you think you have your Super Secret Eye Contact Fight Club.

There's no defeating you in debate, is there, sunny.

super secret eye fight club LOL

 

[rosco rathbone]

Although, I did fuck a half-chinese girl that I met on the subway when she simply refused to look away. That was really hot. Usually I can make people look away...who wants to stare down some big random guy? But she wouldn't and the mutual glare became a mutual giggle. She wasn't very pretty but she had a spectacular body.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Although, I did fuck a half-chinese girl that I met on the subway when she simply refused to look away. That was really hot. Usually I can make people look away...who wants to stare down some big random guy? But she wouldn't and the mutual glare became a mutual giggle. She wasn't very pretty but she had a spectacular body.

I bet you are saying that naked. In black socks. With a hole in the toe.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I bet you are saying that naked. In black socks. With a hole in the toe.

Let's just say that, though the details may be incorrect, the overall gestalt is on the money.

 

[sunfox]

There's no defeating you in debate, is there, sunny.

super secret eye fight club LOL

I am woman, hear me never give up the last word.

Glad I could amuse you, rosco.

 

[sunfox]

I bet you are saying that naked. In black socks. With a hole in the toe.

What a mental image -that- is.

 

[le Dragon Noir]

ohhh and those looks that damn a girl if she holds your gaze and damn her if she doesn't...i take them as an invitation to saucy behavior....but that is probably part of why my friends call me a wench or brat so often.

'

That they are. The young lady in question is not a brat or a wench; and that sort of mock power struggle is a great turn on. When I'm doing the "look away, I dare you" look, it's an inivitation for some really rough play.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I am woman, hear me never give up the last word.

Glad I could amuse you, rosco.

I am the self appointed captain of the bitchy warrior doms. Please fold your chairs and put them away after this meeting of the super secret eye fight club. Now what is the secret password?


"rawr!"

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I am the self appointed captain of the bitchy warrior doms. Please fold your chairs and put them away after this meeting of the super secret eye fight club. Now what is the secret password?


"rawr!"

THAT, Gaston, required a spew alert of the highest magnitude ...

 

[sunfox]

I am the self appointed captain of the bitchy warrior doms. Please fold your chairs and put them away after this meeting of the super secret eye fight club. Now what is the secret password?


"rawr!"

*falls out of her chair laughing*

rosco.. I'd have a terrible time taking you seriously in person after all this... and you so owe me another Pepsi, dammit!

 

[m wisdom]

I am the self appointed captain of the bitchy warrior doms. Please fold your chairs and put them away after this meeting of the super secret eye fight club. Now what is the secret password?


"rawr!"

LOL

 

[Kajira Callista]

looks at uncle rosco and simply shakes my head.

 

[hamiJJ]

The Beauty is In the Eyes

the eyes tell the story of life and love.

If your relationship is right and your preferences are supporting both you and your partner, then its the eyes that tell you.

Looking into th eyes of a girl who is excited and wants more is very powerful stuff. The eyes are the window to the soul.

besides there is nothing more amazing then watching your partner cum! Is There?

JJ

 

[Esclava]

<-----Not in the No-Eye Contact Club...

I can't claim to have an aversion to making eye contact. I make eye contact with anyone (male or female) walking down the street. Perfect strangers have backed into walls to get away from a look and the smile that immediately follows eye contact in passing.

Many friends, acquaintences and SOs have commented on the intensity of my eyes; but I have never had anyone tell me to look away. A SO once told me, "Your eyes give looks that can kiss or kill. Remind me to stay on your 'kiss' list."

I also have to agree with Graceanne about the victim mentality and walking, briskly, with your head up. If you look like a victim, someone WILL mistake you for one.

Esclava

 

[s'lara]

Re: <-----Not in the No-Eye Contact Club...

I can't claim to have an aversion to making eye contact. I make eye contact with anyone (male or female) walking down the street. Perfect strangers have backed into walls to get away from a look and the smile that immediately follows eye contact in passing.

Many friends, acquaintences and SOs have commented on the intensity of my eyes; but I have never had anyone tell me to look away. A SO once told me, "Your eyes give looks that can kiss or kill. Remind me to stay on your 'kiss' list."

I also have to agree with Graceanne about the victim mentality and walking, briskly, with your head up. If you look like a victim, someone WILL mistake you for one.

Esclava

Not necessarily. Inability to meet the eye of another does not mean one does not possess the wherewithall to scratch a yard of skin off a would be attacker if necessary. In addition, presenting a demeanor which is less than aggressive can be a ruse to mask a viciousness not easily discerned.

The "don't attack me" walk and look can smack of hidden fears or a chip teetering precariously on an unsure shoulder. i'd rather have someone presently surprised by my length of tooth than to be pegged the moment i walk in the door. We all have our methods and it sounds like yours (and graceanne's) works for you both. It is cool to keep "them" guessing. Like cracker jacks, a surprise in every box. Cripes, awful pun.

lara

 

[graceanne]

Re: Re: <-----Not in the No-Eye Contact Club...

Not necessarily. Inability to meet the eye of another does not mean one does not possess the wherewithall to scratch a yard of skin off a would be attacker if necessary. In addition, presenting a demeanor which is less than aggressive can be a ruse to mask a viciousness not easily discerned.

The "don't attack me" walk and look can smack of hidden fears or a chip teetering precariously on an unsure shoulder. i'd rather have someone presently surprised by my length of tooth than to be pegged the moment i walk in the door. We all have our methods and it sounds like yours (and graceanne's) works for you both. It is cool to keep "them" guessing. Like cracker jacks, a surprise in every box. Cripes, awful pun.

lara

lol. I'm not like brazen about it. I don't want to come off as someone looking for a fight, cause I'm not. As much as I hate to admit it, in a fight I'd get my ass kicked. I'm 5' tall, I'm chronically ill, and I'm weak. But I don't want strangers to know that. I want them to think that I'd give them a good fight.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Re: Re: <-----Not in the No-Eye Contact Club...

lol. I'm not like brazen about it. I don't want to come off as someone looking for a fight, cause I'm not. As much as I hate to admit it, in a fight I'd get my ass kicked. I'm 5' tall, I'm chronically ill, and I'm weak. But I don't want strangers to know that. I want them to think that I'd give them a good fight.

Which is what all the instructor's recommend when giving self defence classes and tips. Profilers have said if you are distracted (eg. talking on mobile, daydreaming) or looking vulnerable in your posture (eg. hunched over, looking down while walking, avoiding eye contact), you are more likely to be targeted by muggers, rapists, and those who are looking for someone a bit more vulnerable and unsure of themselves than those who present as alert and capable of fending off an attacker or at least doing some damage of their own.

Catalina

 

[Esclava]

Re: Re: <-----Not in the No-Eye Contact Club...

Not necessarily. Inability to meet the eye of another does not mean one does not possess the wherewithall to scratch a yard of skin off a would be attacker if necessary. In addition, presenting a demeanor which is less than aggressive can be a ruse to mask a viciousness not easily discerned.

The "don't attack me" walk and look can smack of hidden fears or a chip teetering precariously on an unsure shoulder. i'd rather have someone presently surprised by my length of tooth than to be pegged the moment i walk in the door. We all have our methods and it sounds like yours (and graceanne's) works for you both. It is cool to keep "them" guessing. Like cracker jacks, a surprise in every box. Cripes, awful pun.

lara

I guess I can always count on being misunderstood out here. I never said anything about eye contact (or the inability to make it) signaling a weakness of any kind. One does NOT have to make eye contact to walk as though they have a purpose in life and that purpose doesn't involve being mauled, mugged, raped or otherwise attacked.

I don't believe there is any such thing as a "don't attack me" walk. If an attacker sees something in you he/she wants, they're going to take it. There IS an "I have a purpose in life and am aware of my surroundings" walk. That is the one that is most apt to save lives.

But if looking like a victim (which stands a better chance of inviting an attack) to "mask a viciousness not easily discerned" works for you, knock yourself right out...

Esclava