To keep the review thread clean...

[annaswirls]

Wasn't long ago Anna wanted you to put on a belt, now Seattle wants you to them off. Those girls have got to learn to get along!

you misunderstood what I said about the belt Mister Man.
hold on to something heavy

 

[annaswirls]

My money's on Anna. I think Seattle is all bark, I mean, meow.

okay you are forgiven for whatever it is you did. I don't remember.

put a shirt on damn it I cant concentrate. my vibrator is in reverse and I keep getting further away

 

[champagne1982]

I've unzipped my pants plenty already, I'd think you'd be bored by now.

<snip><insert poetic liscentiousness>friggin' abdominal avatars!</snip>

Flex for me and give my heart
better cause to add a little
V tac to the mix. I wanna

shake it to the fibrillating
max and do a little
tachycardia dance
c'mon baby take a chance
that the paramedics
can be here in less than five.

Sin for me and give my womb
better cause to add a little
clench to the grip. I wanna

spasm in that convulsing
gush and do a little
multi-orgasmic shake
c'mon baby go ahead, make
my ass shake in quick
response in less than ten.

Yes, I know this is the second arrhythmic poem tonight. I've had a skippy feeling day!

 

[Tzara]

Flex for me and give my heart
better cause to add a little
V tac to the mix. I wanna

shake it to the fibrillating
max and do a little
tachycardia dance
c'mon baby take a chance
that the paramedics
can be here in less than five.

Sin for me and give my womb
better cause to add a little
clench to the grip. I wanna

spasm in that convulsing
gush and do a little
multi-orgasmic shake
c'mon baby go ahead, make
my ass shake in quick
response in less than ten.

Yes, I know this is the second arrhythmic poem tonight. I've had a skippy feeling day!

Splat! Spilt! Split! Spurl!
(The sounds of laughter, making hurl.)

Oh, you most indulgent god, dear Champ, but that is funny!

The whole thing is fucking hilarious, but O the lines

..................I wanna

shake it to the fibrillating
max and do a little
tachycardia dance
c'mon baby take a chance
that the paramedics
can be here in less than five.

were, there is no other word, sublime.

O humor, thy name is Champagne,
Vintage 1982.
Cristal or Perignon,
Cliquot Verve or no,
je dit, merci beaucoup.

And as I had a very stressful day today it was most most welcome.

tz

 

[4degrees]

thank you, fish-man, for such a nice lil plug. it's quite flattering.

curt.

 

[wildsweetone]

thank you Rybka. by the way, why shouldn't you argue with an editor's choice if you feel the need?

 

[flyguy69]

Ah! There's the AED! You should come with a bright red sign:
In case of emergency
break out glasses
and imbibe deeply

Thanks for a fun poem, Carrie!

Flex for me and give my heart
better cause to add a little
V tac to the mix. I wanna

shake it to the fibrillating
max and do a little
tachycardia dance
c'mon baby take a chance
that the paramedics
can be here in less than five.

Sin for me and give my womb
better cause to add a little
clench to the grip. I wanna

spasm in that convulsing
gush and do a little
multi-orgasmic shake
c'mon baby go ahead, make
my ass shake in quick
response in less than ten.

Yes, I know this is the second arrhythmic poem tonight. I've had a skippy feeling day!

 

[annaswirls]

Um tungtied2U--- is it your week?

There have been no poems the past 2 Fridays. Let me know. I am hostessing a partee tonight, could do them tomorrow if you can't.

~AS


edited: I am gonna do them while the dye settles into my hair. I blame fumes if they suck.

 

[tungtied2u]

Sorry anna, it was my week...

but I'm on the left coast, and had some errands I had to do first.

I'll take next week, and I apologize for not having at least left notice earlier. Thank you for stepping in despite your partee...your a heroine.

Spank me..... ...please

 

[darthjser]

Poems by Jeffrey

Hi everyone,

My name is Jeffrey and I have some poems posted.

I received a public comment as I view my member section.
It says my poem on “She swallows” and “Lust” has been mentioned in the New Poem Reviews.

I am in this forum but do not see anything.

Could someone enlighten me?
These 2 poems are posted in www.literotica.com

Thanks!



Truly,


Jeffrey

 

[Guest]

Hi everyone,

My name is Jeffrey and I have some poems posted.

I received a public comment as I view my member section.
It says my poem on “She swallows” and “Lust” has been mentioned in the New Poem Reviews.

I am in this forum but do not see anything.

Could someone enlighten me?
These 2 poems are posted in www.literotica.com

Thanks!



Truly,


Jeffrey

Two posts above yours in annaswirls review.

 

[Guest]

Thank you anna, I'm in great company too.

Two more I would like to recommend:

incompatible
by Tristesse ©

Rite
by Liar ©

as

 

[annaswirls]

but I'm on the left coast, and had some errands I had to do first.

I'll take next week, and I apologize for not having at least left notice earlier. Thank you for stepping in despite your partee...your a heroine.

Spank me..... ...please

oh gosh, nothing to be sorry about! I cannot keep track and was not even sure. but I will still spank you if you wish, but I prefer an all over body punishment--- tickle torture and biting while pinching calves with my toes... My toes are incredible pinching machines.

and
Thanks Tess!

 

[Du Lac]

Sunday's reviews

Hi all I am packing and discarding all my worldly goods like a banshee... wild and crazed so poem reviews will be done later today........in the meantime... if you see some that should be read post it and review it for us here!!!!! I also need someone to take over for the next 3 weeks.... in my move and drive out west I will not be able to do the reviews... no PC! so if someone could help me Please it would be appreciated!
blessings
du lac~

 

[My Erotic Tale]

Hi all I am packing and discarding all my worldly goods like a banshee... wild and crazed so poem reviews will be done later today........in the meantime... if you see some that should be read post it and review it for us here!!!!! I also need someone to take over for the next 3 weeks.... in my move and drive out west I will not be able to do the reviews... no PC! so if someone could help me Please it would be appreciated!
blessings
du lac~

No Problem Du...I got you covered, I am almost @ my 'Publication' deadline and will have the time, (this week maybe) I'll make time. Hurry back and wave at those big mountains for me<grin>

 

[darthjser]

Rating

Hi everyone,

I am a writer and have some poems and a story at www.literotica.com

I would like to know what the rating of x.xx means …

Can anyone point me to the source where the code can be deciphered?
Thanks!



Truly,


Jeffrey

 

[sweet GA peaches]

Happy Birthday To Me !!!!

WITH A GREAT BIG FAT ..........E..........

Thank you , thank you ....

this absolutely thrilled my soul !!
what in the world will I write now ?
suddenly, I want it all, LOL..

thank you , thank you , thank you ......
and you , and you and you ..

***for the review...
sweet GA peach KISSES !

There were no words, Until they were read by YOU.

 

[The Poets]

Hi everyone,

I am a writer and have some poems and a story at www.literotica.com

I would like to know what the rating of x.xx means …

Can anyone point me to the source where the code can be deciphered?
Thanks!



Truly,


Jeffrey

x.xx is a zero votes rating.
You have your voting turned off or no votes yet.

 

[Senna Jawa]

a bit sad

Let me [...] point you towards annaswirls' Another Deer Path, a poem that affected me deeply.

[...] this poem speaks to me without my being fully able to articulate its meaning. It is mysterious and lovely and I really really like it.

Anna's poem has fooled you but not me. When Anna came to Literotica (almost two years ago), she was, to use a cliche, like a breath of fresh air. Today she's just another regular here.

What does it mean to be a regular on this board? It means that you listen to others without blinking your eye or raising your brow when they talk like this:

Most of the time my inspiration comes from...
My ideas are the best when ...
I hate to have writer's block...
In my writing experience I have encountered...
When I was a beginner I was like you, thus I understand you...
Before you know you will be a [strong] writer too...​

Anna's phrase may sound smoother than two years ago, but that's an easy achievement of unclear value. (Smoothness is an element of style. It's good to have it under control, that's all). In the given poem only the phrase is smooth. Otherwise the text is pityfully choppy (with respect to its concepts, meaning) and, first of all--superficial. Too bad. I like it's voice. Unfortunately the voice of this poem has nothing to tell us.

Best regards Tzara and Anna and the rest,

 

[tarablackwood22]

Anna's poem has fooled you but not me. When Anna came to Literotica (almost two years ago), she was, to use a cliche, like a breath of fresh air. Today she's just another regular here.

What does it mean to be a regular on this board? It means that you listen to others without blinking your eye or raising your brow when they talk like this:

Most of the time my inspiration comes from...
My ideas are the best when ...
I hate to have writer's block...
In my writing experience I have encountered...
When I was a beginner I was like you, thus I understand you...
Before you know you will be a [strong] writer too...​

Anna's phrase may sound smoother than two years ago, but that's an easy achievement of unclear value. (Smoothness is an element of style. It's good to have it under control, that's all). In the given poem only the phrase is smooth. Otherwise the text is pityfully choppy (with respect to its concepts, meaning) and, first of all--superficial. Too bad. I like it's voice. Unfortunately the voice of this poem has nothing to tell us.

Best regards Tzara and Anna and the rest,

In my opinion, Anna’s poem has much to say. You should all go there and judge for yourselves. I believe you will find a poem well worth the time that takes, but I realize some are indeed fans of the trite and quite fond of superficiality. For those I recommend this poem: silver

As you will see in the poem’s comments, one reader opined on its triviality, an opinion with which I wholeheartedly agree. The author, however, then saw fit to immediately lecture her on his omniscience.

As is the case with most of this author’s poetry, and with all of his poetic and thread commentary, this poem and his comment, to me, bear not only an arrogant close-mindedness and self-importance, but the foul aroma of pedantry as well. The author is one who obviously fancies himself a poet of amazing eyes, but to me, the plain truth seems to be that he is not only obnoxious, but has no vision at all.

Best regards,

Tara

 

[Du Lac]

Sunday reviews

Thank you all for picking up my slack on Sunday much appreciated.

I enjoyed Anna's Poem and suggest you read it.

There was a good selection on Sunday unfortunately I did not read them throughly enough to comment. So thank you all for posting your poems and look forward to when I am settled in to returning and getting into the Sunday Reviews.

blessings
du lac

 

[Senna Jawa]

poetry is not about democracy

In my opinion, Anna’s poem has much to say.

Democracy is irrelevant for poetry. Ignorant opinions don't matter (actually, they are counter-productive, so that they kind of matter in a negative way by introducing a disagreeable noise). You didn't compare the first Anna's Literotica posts with the given one. More importantly, you do not know what it means to read a poem, you don't know your reader's duty.

In the earlier poems Anna had a scene in front of her (mind) eyes, and she was describing the scene. Thus her poems made sense, they were good, strong. You could discuss this or that detail but there was a poem. The reader who did her/his reader's duty, meaning the reader who followed the Anna's images, had a reward because indeed there were coherent images.

This time Anna, when writing her poem had only some fog in front of her mind eye, she saw nothing. If she did, she would be disgusted with her imagery. The reader who puts her/his effort into reading Anna's "Another Deer Path" gets junk in return. There is no coherence. The images which a true reader tries to recover from the text don't make any sense. On the top of it the whole poem is superficial. Instead of providing something hard, concrete, which would in turn induce certain ideas and emotions in the reader, this time Anna simply provides the reader with those things via a very thin layer of pseudo-imagery, without providing anything real underneath the proposed emotions. And that's not poetry. Thus we got an empty poem with selfcontradictory, nonsensical images as the result. Why, even the title and the poem are already at odds, showing the author's lack of imagining the images proposed to the reader.

Anna is showing some technique here and there, but technique alone is a shallow thing.

You don't understand, Tara, what I am talking about, do you? And instead of learning you prefer to offend me in a childish way. Such puerile attacks are easier than reading and understanding poetry. Go ahead and sprinkle my poems with 1's--it will add to my collection of stats and trivia. Even if Anna's poem gets nothing but thirty 5's, it will still mean ziltch, zero. (Sure, by Literotica standards it's not a bad poem, but so what)?.

Ok, Tara, until you get more sensible I will not even bother with my customary "regards" in your case,

 

[bluerains]

ty

This is by no means a complaint. Blue's previously posted recommendations are all excellent. I will not comment more there. Read them--they are all worthy of your attention.

Let me also, though, point you towards annaswirls' Another Deer Path, a poem that affected me deeply.

It sounds wonderfully well (read it aloud) and it seems, well, mysterious in meaning. I don't normally like to recommend work that I am not sure I understand, but this poem speaks to me without my being fully able to articulate its meaning. It is mysterious and lovely and I really really like it.

You may, of course, disagree. But read it and comment. It is worth your while.

tz

I liked the poem as well, but, was reluctant to pass on a review as to the content...
and you did that quite well...

 

[annaswirls]

Hey now y'all. What's the buzz?

Senna, thank you for your honesty, I have learned many things from your critiques of my work. When I was, as you said, a breath of fresh air, you were also very critical of my work, and taught me some fundamentals that I have not forgotten.

The poem in question was written off of a post by Tath, whom I have never met nor spoken to. Perhaps the lack of a concrete vision is because these things I have never done, only imagined.

I posted it on Literotica, not because I believed it to be a masterpiece, but because that is where the poem had its origins. I do not attempt to make every poem perfect. Sometimes I write as a conversation with the people I know will read my work. And sometimes conversations are deeper than others, yes?

Most of what I write never gets submitted here, so it is a bit pointless to make generalizations about my writing, and I will take your comments with that in mind.

I appreciate, as I have said before, your criticism and do not take personal offense to it, as I know it is not emotion that drives your comments.

However, it is kind of silly to critique other people's opinions and recommendations, don't you think?

And my sincere thanks to others who have left kind comments, made recommendations, defended your opinions... I write for different audiences, perhaps you enjoyed it more as I had "you" in mind when I wrote it

I am gonna write one with Senna in mind and see how it turns out.

Respectfully,

~Anna

 

[flyguy69]

The unabashed arrogance of this post is hard to overlook. I suspect you have insightful things to share, SJ, but when they are couched in a perspective that the only opinion that matters is your's they are exceedingly hard to find.

When you claim the ability to step into Anna's mind and see what she saw as she wrote the poem I immediately doubt your credibility. When you claim Tara and Tzara don't know their duties as readers I doubt your intentions.

I count myself in (your assigned) Tara's camp: I don't know what you are talking about. Perhaps I am an idiot. Or perhaps you aren't making sense.

Democracy is irrelevant for poetry. Ignorant opinions don't matter (actually, they are counter-productive, so that they kind of matter in a negative way by introducing a disagreeable noise). You didn't compare the first Anna's Literotica posts with the given one. More importantly, you do not know what it means to read a poem, you don't know your reader's duty.

In the earlier poems Anna had a scene in front of her (mind) eyes, and she was describing the scene. Thus her poems made sense, they were good, strong. You could discuss this or that detail but there was a poem. The reader who did her/his reader's duty, meaning the reader who followed the Anna's images, had a reward because indeed there were coherent images.

This time Anna, when writing her poem had only some fog in front of her mind eye, she saw nothing. If she did, she would be disgusted with her imagery. The reader who puts her/his effort into reading Anna's "Another Deer Path" gets junk in return. There is no coherence. The images which a true reader tries to recover from the text don't make any sense. On the top of it the whole poem is superficial. Instead of providing something hard, concrete, which would in turn induce certain ideas and emotions in the reader, this time Anna simply provides the reader with those things via a very thin layer of pseudo-imagery, without providing anything real underneath the proposed emotions. And that's not poetry. Thus we got an empty poem with selfcontradictory, nonsensical images as the result. Why, even the title and the poem are already at odds, showing the author's lack of imagining the images proposed to the reader.

Anna is showing some technique here and there, but technique alone is a shallow thing.

You don't understand, Tara, what I am talking about, do you? And instead of learning you prefer to offend me in a childish way. Such puerile attacks are easier than reading and understanding poetry. Go ahead and sprinkle my poems with 1's--it will add to my collection of stats and trivia. Even if Anna's poem gets nothing but thirty 5's, it will still mean ziltch, zero. (Sure, by Literotica standards it's not a bad poem, but so what)?.

Ok, Tara, until you get more sensible I will not even bother with my customary "regards" in your case,