Uppity, mouthy, and fun-loving subs, right this way!

[Quint]

Hi, Lance. I was wondering how long it would take you to show up, and I guessed this would be the first topic you brought up. Yes, kudos to preemptive thinking. Pat on the ass and wot all.

I have read a lot of topping-from-the-bottom thoughts here, as I intended to, having opened up the discussion myself. However, I have not read in these words the intention of trying to seize control from our Dom/me, or trying to prove that we CAN seize control from our Dom/me. I've read simply that we want to know that we are in capable hands. Hands that we know are strong and trustworthy.

Trust. This is the key, from what I've read. I said in another thread that I think trust cannot safely be given without proving its worthiness first. No blind trust in a D/s relationship. By testing my Dom (excluding the /me because as much as I'd like putting myself in MzChrista's tender care, it's not likely that I'll ever be with a female in this context), I am reassuring myself that I have done all I could to prove his ability at ruling me. I'm using my resources of a rational mind and the methods of applying it to test him. I think that's fair. I have to trust him, and so I make sure that it's earned.

It does manifest itself in a funny way, admittedly. I'm speaking strictly for myself when I say that I enjoy getting a rise out of T. It's lots of fun to play around with him. However, that stops when he decides he wants it to stop. Multifaceted relationship, you know.

There's a thought: how much of my life am I to be subservient in order to classify myself as a submissive? I have all sorts of sides: child, slut, mother, lover, friend, sister, girl. They all show up at some point or another. Am I going to keep myself from teasing T because I'm in Friend mode? No. Am I going to refrain from holding him with his head between my breasts because I feel like Mother? No.

I am 32 flavors and then some.

I constantly question where I am, what mood I'm in, what needs I have that want fulfilling at this moment. I'm on a quest for self-discovery, and I thank you for reminding me that I have so far to go yet. As I am right now, however, I am not happy with T unless I am either his equal or his submissive or both. No more. I test him, I trust him, I leave my shoes at the door and submit.

Quint "Seeker of Truth"

 

[Lancecastor]

An origamy crane, down the chimney...

~~~~~~~~and who says your not one?

See ya back and raise you 2,
Rose

Saying "Like you said of yourself, I too like to tease people at times. So, if teasing is headfucking, I'll call your bet and stand even with you anytime. Is this for our clothes?

But this is a separate issue from the topping from the bottom-fest you folks were having, isn't it?

Lance"

 

[Lancecastor]

Hi, Lance. I was wondering how long it would take you to show up, and I guessed this would be the first topic you brought up.


Quint "Seeker of Truth"

Sorry for disrupting your meeting.

Later;
Lance

 

[morninggirl5]

Re: Re: Re: A note, slid under the door....

You should always search for and embrace your true nature, grasshopper.

It's not up to me to tell you what your truth is.

If you enjoy topping from the bottom and say so in a thread, I think it's appropriate for someone to suggest they think more about their Truth, don't you?

My always being right about things is a separate topic.

Cheers;
Lance

Where did i ever say i enjoyed topping from the bottom?

The only thing i ever said was i was considered challenging. That challenging has nothing to do with topping from the bottom, it's more about the challenge in reaching that place of trust that i allow myself to submit.

I also said that i want to be heard. I need to feel that my opinions, thoughts, feelings on a matter are important enough to be heard. Did i ever say i expected them to change a situation? No, i simply asked to be heard. That is all.

In fact, if something feels like topping from the bottom and a Dom lets me get away with it, i hate it. My truth is simply this - i am submissive. Your continued suggestion otherwise is not only not appreciated, it's disrespectful, in my opinion.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: An origamy crane, down the chimney...

Saying "Like you said of yourself, I too like to tease people at times. So, if teasing is headfucking, I'll call your bet and stand even with you anytime. Is this for our clothes?

But this is a separate issue from the topping from the bottom-fest you folks were having, isn't it?

Lance"

~~~~~~~~~~~I am not going to mud wrestle you for the last word here. (Now, strip backgammon is a possibility.) You can have it, pal. All I have to say on this issue is I think you know that trying to take control and trying to teasingly push some buttons once in awhile, are two seperate things. I always knew who was in charge, but that never stopped me from trying to lighten things up occassionally.

 

[Quint]

What she said.

MG, I was thinking of you when I wrote most of my response. I also hate "getting away" with bad behavior, which is why I'm so delighted with T. Your philosophy on "challenging" rather than "provoking" inspired much of my response to Lance.

I say that because I reread the first page of this thread and found that I did say a lot about teasing for fun, rather than for exploring and proving trust and all that pretty stuff I just wrote. I'd only like to add that I was thinking of my previous relationship with Hunny, who did let me get away with all kinds of crap. I didn't find that rewarding at all past the initial "heeheehee, I'm misbehaving, look at me!" which I chalk up to sexual immaturity. Lance, you're quite right when you say that it only damages relationships; like I said in one of my first posts, my ability to do whatever I wanted ruined BDSM for me for quite awhile. I think that in itself is a pretty big clue that I don't enjoy being dominant.

Lance, it seems to me that if a good submissive allows whatever her Dom/me chooses to give her, even within limits, then she is putting herself in a potentially dangerous situation, where the "abusive Doms that will 'control' [us] with aggression of one form or another" are likely to be the only ones we see. If we can't question, prod, or test the trustworthiness, empathy, and intelligence of our Dom/me, then we're pretty much hoping that Fate will bestow us with one that will always do what's in our best interest. Not likely to happen, and anyway I'd much rather trust in myself than Fate. It's self-empowerment in a way totally unrelated to our capacity as a submissive; it's simply common sense.

 

[Lancecastor]

A smoke signal from the next hill...

...saying "Thanks for giving some serious thought to what I said, Quint. Creating a strong relationship of any kind is hard work and requires serious effort. Getting to the place where an s trusts a D to truly let go is no small thing. With that, I'm off...sorry again for interrupting the flow of your discussions.

Lance"

What she said.

MG, I was thinking of you when I wrote most of my response. I also hate "getting away" with bad behavior, which is why I'm so delighted with T. Your philosophy on "challenging" rather than "provoking" inspired much of my response to Lance.

I say that because I reread the first page of this thread and found that I did say a lot about teasing for fun, rather than for exploring and proving trust and all that pretty stuff I just wrote. I'd only like to add that I was thinking of my previous relationship with Hunny, who did let me get away with all kinds of crap. I didn't find that rewarding at all past the initial "heeheehee, I'm misbehaving, look at me!" which I chalk up to sexual immaturity. Lance, you're quite right when you say that it only damages relationships; like I said in one of my first posts, my ability to do whatever I wanted ruined BDSM for me for quite awhile. I think that in itself is a pretty big clue that I don't enjoy being dominant.

Lance, it seems to me that if a good submissive allows whatever her Dom/me chooses to give her, even within limits, then she is putting herself in a potentially dangerous situation, where the "abusive Doms that will 'control' [us] with aggression of one form or another" are likely to be the only ones we see. If we can't question, prod, or test the trustworthiness, empathy, and intelligence of our Dom/me, then we're pretty much hoping that Fate will bestow us with one that will always do what's in our best interest. Not likely to happen, and anyway I'd much rather trust in myself than Fate. It's self-empowerment in a way totally unrelated to our capacity as a submissive; it's simply common sense.

 

[Quint]

Right-o, next order of business

How can we plot the downfall of smug, sardonic Doms by unceasing questioning of their authority?

Quint "I was born with my tongue in my cheek"

 

[WillowPuss]

Re: Right-o, next order of business

How can we plot the downfall of smug, sardonic Doms by unceasing questioning of their authority?

Quint "I was born with my tongue in my cheek"

Pssssst .... Quint - don't forget that some of those really, really nice people are sitting right here with canes in their hands ...

I don't think we would get very far! rofl





We would have to be very, very quiet and careful!

 

[Persephone36]

Re: Right-o, next order of business

How can we plot the downfall of smug, sardonic Doms by unceasing questioning of their authority?

Quint "I was born with my tongue in my cheek"

Why by putting them on "ignore" Quint! *sheesh*

Hey goils -- (or actually I shouldn't be sexist here -- but we haven't had any sub men visit yet, oops -- perhaps we have -- perhaps we have some "in training" and they just haven't yet accepted their "true" nature yet!)

So, lol -- Willow -- you're gonna be scared off by a couple of passive Dommes in the corner with canes? Come on -- I thought this was *our* place to kick off the shoes and speak openly.

I'm not going to worry about being challenged every minute for what I think is right for me. And quite frankly, every relationship between each Dom and their sub or Top/bottom is unique. We're here to talk about what works or doesn't work for us. Share our points of view, problems, et al without having to explain it to anyone but each other.

BUT *how* lovely to know though that there's always someone here to *enlighten* us because we can't think for ourselves *Perse blinks innocently* LOL!

MG -- I really agree with *everything* you've said on the thread so far...now, I'm new to exploring my sub side -- but I know that having a voice and knowing that I'm being heard is incredibly important to me. For that matter -- I happen to know it's as equally important to the guy I'm getting more involved with. For us -- that's exactly what communication is about. But aside from that -- I just feel the way you do about pretty much, er -- well, everything you said.

Now -- Quint, you said this was a hang-out, right? *Perse gets out the blender* Margarita? Daiquari? Anyone for straight Tequila? It's Sunday night and I'm not working tomorrow so I'm not only your bartender -- I'm also your fellow drinker!

Jeez, when's lilminx going to get her butt in here and then we can really start shaking up the place.

Cheers kids! Down the hatch *Perse slams a Cosmo* Ha! Hit the spot!

P.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Right-o, next order of business

Why by putting them on "ignore" Quint! *sheesh*

Hey goils -- (or actually I shouldn't be sexist here -- but we haven't had any sub men visit yet, oops -- perhaps we have -- perhaps we have some "in training" and they just haven't yet accepted their "true" nature yet!)

So, lol -- Willow -- you're gonna be scared off by a couple of passive Dommes in the corner with canes? Come on -- I thought this was *our* place to kick off the shoes and speak openly.

I'm not going to worry about being challenged every minute for what I think is right for me. And quite frankly, every relationship between each Dom and their sub or Top/bottom is unique. We're here to talk about what works or doesn't work for us. Share our points of view, problems, et al without having to explain it to anyone but each other.

BUT *how* lovely to know though that there's always someone here to *enlighten* us because we can't think for ourselves *Perse blinks innocently* LOL!

MG -- I really agree with *everything* you've said on the thread so far...now, I'm new to exploring my sub side -- but I know that having a voice and knowing that I'm being heard is incredibly important to me. For that matter -- I happen to know it's as equally important to the guy I'm getting more involved with. For us -- that's exactly what communication is about. But aside from that -- I just feel the way you do about pretty much, er -- well, everything you said.

Now -- Quint, you said this was a hang-out, right? *Perse gets out the blender* Margarita? Daiquari? Anyone for straight Tequila? It's Sunday night and I'm not working tomorrow so I'm not only your bartender -- I'm also your fellow drinker!

Jeez, when's lilminx going to get her butt in here and then we can really start shaking up the place.

Cheers kids! Down the hatch *Perse slams a Cosmo* Ha! Hit the spot!

P.

Ya'll got to do better than this! LOL

Eb

 

[MzChrista]

Ill say one thing because, well I pretty much do what I want, and that is that topping from below is not the fault of the sub its the fault of the dominant. You cant be topped from below unless you allow it so take cherage or else deal with and be a service dom.

 

[Persephone36]

Re: Re: Re: Right-o, next order of business

Ya'll got to do better than this! LOL

Eb

Hey -- I'm just trying to rev the team up here -- gimme a chance!

But it would be my pleasure to offer you a cocktail tonight Eb, while you're visiting us in "sub space" -- so, name your drink!


P.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Right-o, next order of business

Hey -- I'm just trying to rev the team up here -- gimme a chance!

But it would be my pleasure to offer you a cocktail tonight Eb, while you're visiting us in "sub space" -- so, name your drink!


P.

How about a Rolling Rock Beer, it is what I drink!

Eb

 

[Persephone36]

One Rolling Rock for the cool lady in the corner -- comin' up!

(Uh, Eb -- do you mind putting the cane aside so I don't trip over it when I'm handing you the bottle?)

P.

 

[MzChrista]

One Rolling Rock for the cool lady in the corner -- comin' up!

(Uh, Eb -- do you mind putting the cane aside so I don't trip over it when I'm handing you the bottle?)

P.

Excuse me but you saying that if you trip on the cane thats Ebs fault and not yours?

 

[Persephone36]

Excuse me but you saying that if you trip on the cane thats Ebs fault and not yours?

Now, now MzChrista -- don't go pulling a Lance on me! I asked her to move the cane so I *wouldn't* trip on it, just being sensible so that there aren't any accidents. And NO if I tripped on the friggin' cane -- it wouldn't be MY fault either. *sheesh* ('nilla is looking better and better again.)

And please don't put words in my mouth when you're a visitor in MY space (one we graciously allowed you to join us in -- although y'all entered without being invited. Not a problem of course -- we're all friendly here. May not be manners where I come from -- but there you have it.)

Now that we have that straight -- may I get you something to drink? Male Dom to use as a foot stool?

P.

 

[James Blandings]

Actually, I think Christa is right. You implied that Ebony was not taking proper care of her implements. Perhaps she ought to show you the correct way a cane is to be handled.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Actually, I think Christa is right. You implied that Ebony was not taking proper care of her implements. Perhaps she ought to show you the correct way a cane is to be handled.

She just wanted me to put it down so she could kick it into some dark corner. LOL

Eb

 

[Shadowsdream]

Persephone36

any Chi Chis hidden in that drink maker?

Good point about speaking with your own voice...if you didn't there would be no communication..couldn't be..it takes two voices to communicate.

Sitting back and enjoying the deep yet semi playful ambiance of the room fúll of intelligent subbie girls not bent on ass kissing.

Not being here to monitor nor instill My opinion but thinking a room full of subs just cannot be ignored I stroke the cain absent mindedly with wicked plots for another day in the back of My mind.

 

[WillowPuss]

Actually Perce ... I am behaving pretty much as I would at a 3D gathering ... sitting quietly and absorbing points made.

At such events, when I have something to say, I usually do pluck up the courage to say it.

But I am not very good at arguing ... and if it looks like an argument - I say very quiet until .......




(Still keeping an eye on those canes though ... and the look that I can see twinkling in Shadowsdream's eye .... )

 

[WillowPuss]

Ohh excuse me ....

Shadowsdream .... have you noticed your post count?

 

[Persephone36]

Persephone36

any Chi Chis hidden in that drink maker?

Good point about speaking with your own voice...if you didn't there would be no communication..couldn't be..it takes two voices to communicate.

Er, Thank you Shadowsdream. Coming right up with that drink

*Persephone begins thinking she is in DEEP over her head in this room with all those Doms & Dommes and their wicked ways infiltrating Quint's space -- and where the heck is Quint, anyway, and where's SexyChele, and MG?!?*

Sorry, Willow -- didn't mean to suggest that you should be anyway other than you normally would behave. Just meant to say, I have your back.

Chi-Chis was it Shadowsdream?

P.

 

[spankableBelle]

i haven't posted on this thread yet, but i am mouthy most times, uppity sometimes, but always loving...

maybe i can find a small corner here in which to visit...

 

[Ebonyfire]

congrats to Shadowsdream

for making it to 500 posts!

Ebony