Using manners when giving commands

[AngelicAssassin]

Dom/me(s) how do you feel about using words like "please" and "thank you" when giving commands and acknowledging efforts/obedience? ... Please pass the salt and hold the onions...thank you

Fark the salt. You better bring some bread to the table. Pass the Scorned Woman.

As for your question ... a nice thing about occasionally mercurial sadism? Your playmate never knows when the politeness indicates genuine manners, or "Oh chit, can i possibly yank my tail out of the flames and get back in the frying pan."

Case in point, and using one of the recent popular topics of conversation, how mannerly would the playmate view the following:

• "please open your mouth" *inserts cock*
• "please secure your lips firmly around the shaft" *caresses her head*
• "please don't allow a drop to spill from your mouth" *releases the contents of bladder*
• "please swallow it all now"*smiles politely at the look of horror on the playmate's face*
• "Thank you (insert loving pet name here)"*gently withdraws cock, and kisses playmate's forehead"

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Re: Using manners when giving commands

Fark the salt. You better bring some bread to the table. Pass the Scorned Woman.

As for your question ... a nice thing about occasionally mercurial sadism? Your playmate never knows when the politeness indicates genuine manners, or "Oh chit, can i possibly yank my tail out of the flames and get back in the frying pan."

Case in point, and using one of the recent popular topics of conversation, how mannerly would the playmate view the following:

• "please open your mouth" *inserts cock*
• "please secure your lips firmly around the shaft" *caresses her head*
• "please don't allow a drop to spill from your mouth" *releases the contents of bladder*
• "please swallow it all now"*smiles politely at the look of horror on the playmate's face*
• "Thank you (insert loving pet name here)"*gently withdraws cock, and kisses playmate's forehead"

Could be wonderful....but only if not an everyday performance style for my tastes. Variety is the spice of life and even good things can be overdone..and of course also depends on the ability of the deliverer to deliver it in a way which does not come off as ineffective and missing the mark.

Catalina

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: Re: Using manners when giving commands

Could be wonderful....but only if not an everyday performance style for my tastes. Variety is the spice of life and even good things can be overdone.

That's the point kittycat ... the next time might not entail any verbal commands, nor reassuring body language. Think taken off your feet, slapped when you didn't understand the non-verbal cues, and left at the completion of said act without a backwards glance the following morning.

and of course also depends on the ability of the deliverer to deliver it in a way which does not come off as ineffective and missing the mark.

Catalina

i seldom miss that at which i aim. Besides, my parents taught me not to piss on my own fingers.Love the emoticon, although i'm having a hard time not thinking of an M&M exhibiting abject surrender.

 

[Marquis]

AA brings up a good point.

I can be eerily polite when I'm in the evil mindfuck mode, but if I'm really horny I have nothing nice to say.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

AA brings up a good point.

I can be eerily polite when I'm in the evil mindfuck mode, but if I'm really horny I have nothing nice to say.

And God forbid i get in both at the same time.

 

[Desdemona]

Re: Re: I agree with many of the other posts.

You totally get it

But of course.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

I for one, tend to be deadly polite in most instances, and prefer to phrase my commands as firm requests. I use tone of voice to carry the power, and actually prefer the mind-fuck the dichotomy between the politeness and the command can cause. Guess it's a bit of that Suthern' Gent coming through...

 

[silver_inari]

A question in how you see this.

Example "A": The Dom/me wishes the bedroom to be cleaned up and then to join them to watch a movie.

a1. I want you to clean up the bedroom and then join me afterwards to watch a movie.

a2. Please clean up the bedroom and then join me afterwards to watch a movie.


Example "B": The Dom/me wants to restrain the submissive to the bed.

b1. Give me your wrist *ties*, now give me your other wrist *ties*, now give me your ankle *ties*, now give me your other ankle *ties*.

b2. Please give me your wrist. *ties* Thank you, Please give me your other wrist. *ties* Thank you, Please give me your ankle. *ties* Thank you, Please give me your other ankle. *ties* Thank you.

If someone is dominating me well, the manners is not going to make a difference. If they are truly alpha to me, then the wording doesn't matter so much as the emotion and feeling that I can sense behind it. I do not view it as a turn off, but the exercise of courtesy is not required of them towards me if they do not so desire. I'm the sub, I submit, regardless of the please and thank yous.

Be as it may, I think they fit in perfectly fine. Someone with a commanding aura that makes me shiver and drop to my knees is still going to inspire that feeling whether or not they say please, even more so when I know disobedience is met with the same punishment. I don't see it as a mark of poor domination. It is not something that is required, but depending on the circumstances of the scene, could be quite a turn on.

 

[Netzach]

Both "Fold your clothes, assmeat."

And "please fold your clothes and put them into this box, thank you"

can lend atmosphere to a night of fun.

 

[RJMasters]

Both "Fold your clothes, assmeat."

And "please fold your clothes and put them into this box, thank you"

can lend atmosphere to a night of fun.

LMAo @ netz... assmeat? Sounds like a latenight snack with begg'con, letcurious, and toeDommo.

 

[RJMasters]

I can see what you mean with the idea of replacing please with 'please me', but IMO I would also find that too false or worse still, an underlying request in that it implies there is a choice available, a softness perhaps.
Catalina

For clarification....

Though using the phrase "please me" could be interesting if use in a certain way, my original comment about it was really a ponderance of the usage and meaning of the word.

The truth is...when anyone says please...they are infact asking that you please them by doing a request. Such as "please" give me a glass of water mommy.

I agree there is a suttle difference in that the request rather than the command comes through. If you drop off the word "please", you are left with "Give me" which is a demand or a command. When added adding please to the command, you are implying it would "please me" if you gave me a glass of water mommy. As weird as it may sound...I just find that interesting.

So in a sense I can agree and say it adds a certain softness, yet as others have pointed out...it also can be used in a very diabolic sort of way as well.

 

[RJMasters]

I for one, tend to be deadly polite in most instances, and prefer to phrase my commands as firm requests. I use tone of voice to carry the power, and actually prefer the mind-fuck the dichotomy between the politeness and the command can cause. Guess it's a bit of that Suthern' Gent coming through...

Bullseye TNR. It not that I have to even think about it...it just seems to flow naturally depending on the situation.

 

[RJMasters]

Re: Re: Re: Re: I agree with many of the other posts.

Well i like that also... that polite no nonsense tone that makes you shiver with excitement. I guess maybe manners are ok but only if done right?

 

[FungiUg]

The truth is...when anyone says please...they are infact asking that you please them by doing a request. Such as "please" give me a glass of water mommy.

I always thought that "please" was a shortened form of "if you please" or even "if it pleases you." (Avoiding stepping into ye olde English here.)

So really it's at the pleasure of the person you are asking.

 

[RJMasters]

I always thought that "please" was a shortened form of "if you please" or even "if it pleases you." (Avoiding stepping into ye olde English here.)

So really it's at the pleasure of the person you are asking.

you know you might be right there...

I guess I see things through Dom colored glasses...lol Funny how things spin out that way.

 

[Marquis]

Both "Fold your clothes, assmeat."

And "please fold your clothes and put them into this box, thank you"

can lend atmosphere to a night of fun.

Fold the clothes and put them in a box... I motherfucking love it.

How do you come up with this stuff?

We need to make a BDSM Kama Sutra. These days I bet we could even sell it at Borders or Barnes and Noble if we leave the extreme stuff out. I'm talking big money Netz, let's do this.

 

[Marquis]

LMAo @ netz... assmeat? Sounds like a latenight snack with begg'con, letcurious, and toeDommo.

I was just thinking how totally emasculated I would feel if some bitch called me assmeat.

 

[Netzach]

*smile*

then you get it.

SM Kama Sutra? Do we get to make types, you know like cow, doe, elephant?

how about puppy, cat-in-heat, or cockraoch?

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

I for one, tend to be deadly polite in most instances, and prefer to phrase my commands as firm requests. I use tone of voice to carry the power, and actually prefer the mind-fuck the dichotomy between the politeness and the command can cause. Guess it's a bit of that Suthern' Gent coming through...

Maybe all the Suthern' Gents are the same way. This so echos my old Masters actions. "Deadly polite" is an excellent definition.


Even though He said it as a request, it wasn't really a request. Unless I was hoping for a flogging that I would never forget, those quiet, almost whispers, spoke greater volumes than if he screamed in front of my face.

**Does this make sense? I'm so tired, I can't tell.**

 

[catalina_francisco]

For clarification....

Though using the phrase "please me" could be interesting if use in a certain way, my original comment about it was really a ponderance of the usage and meaning of the word.

Yes I got it was only a thought which is why I referred to it as an idea, but my response also was only based on a personal feeling if I were on the receiving end, and especially if it were a repeated over and over scenario. And yes, as we have all said it can have it's place if delivered in a particular way, if not it then becomes a laughing (or crying) matter depending on the situation at hand. Fortunately for me, F is many men in one and can keep me on my toes by varying his delivery often and instantaneously

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

I always thought that "please" was a shortened form of "if you please" or even "if it pleases you." (Avoiding stepping into ye olde English here.)

So really it's at the pleasure of the person you are asking.

It is, but can be used in a sarcastic and/or teasing, sadistic way to make the choice seem that much more sinister and even insulting if the mood fits.

Catalina

 

[Desdemona]

I for one, tend to be deadly polite in most instances, and prefer to phrase my commands as firm requests. I use tone of voice to carry the power, and actually prefer the mind-fuck the dichotomy between the politeness and the command can cause. Guess it's a bit of that Suthern' Gent coming through...

Being a Suthern Lady, perhaps that's why I respond to the deadly polite commands so strongly.

 

[fallon2]

I didn't know I was from the South

"Deadly polite commands" are exactly what I use. I do NOT need to raise my voice . . . but I have been told many times that when I speak it is entirely clear through my tone of voice and inflection of speech that I am deadly serious in my commands and requests.
I hope one day to live in the South . . .

 

[silver_inari]

Re: I didn't know I was from the South

"Deadly polite commands" are exactly what I use. I do NOT need to raise my voice . . . but I have been told many times that when I speak it is entirely clear through my tone of voice and inflection of speech that I am deadly serious in my commands and requests.
I hope one day to live in the South . . .

Yes, but if the right presence is there, you shouldn't NEED to raise your voice. It's all about attitude, IMHO. Depending on the situation I might find the politeness more threatening.

 

[graceanne]

Yelling smacks to me of lack of control and confidence. If you have to yell, then their's something missing. And quite frankly, yelling at me is a good way for me to emotionally disappear. I'll go inside my head, and I won't come out till you're done.