Welcome to OA - Overthinkers Anonymous - What Are You Overthinking About Today?

[Amanda330]

Dude, chill. That's not what she was thinking.

She called you baby because she totally wants to fuck you. Simples.

Wow. Lol.

Now my eye is twitching.

 

[Lord Pmann]

The new question is: What does Pmann overthink?

Pmann clearly doesn’t think.

Wow. Lol.

Now my eye is twitching.

I was totally kidding! Didn’t mean to make your eye twitch.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

The new question is: What does Pmann overthink?

Vacuums and horses

 

[Chillygirl]

My boss said I need to slow down and stop working so hard. She said “I get that you want to stay busy so you can block out what’s going on in your life….”

So now I’m overthinking my motivation to work. I thought it was just my work ethic but maybe it’s avoidance? Control? How do I fix this? I don’t know how to work less hard

 

[MrDevereaux]

Overthinking to the point of paralysis.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

My boss said I need to slow down and stop working so hard. She said “I get that you want to stay busy so you can block out what’s going on in your life….”

So now I’m overthinking my motivation to work. I thought it was just my work ethic but maybe it’s avoidance? Control? How do I fix this? I don’t know how to work less hard

I think it can be primarily work ethic that occasionally serves as a distraction or helps you feel in control. None of that is inherently bad. If it’s done intentionally and with thought, it can even be a healthy thing. I started a new job right after my dad died and then shortly after that agreed to temporarily move to another country. I loved all of it. It made me feel good to learn new things and be productive which helped me find a path through the loss.

It probably depends on your specific job, but I’ve been on both sides of the “don’t work so hard” conversation. When I received that feedback I eventually took it to heart. I thought about what I could delegate more and what things weren’t important and I should stop doing altogether. I thought about what motivated and fulfilled me versus what drained me. I also tried to come up with some boundaries that were specific to how I was balancing/juggling work and my personal life (taking lunches even if it’s just to socialize, not working on the weekends unless it’s really an emergency, not bringing my laptop on vacation, making sure I prioritized myself and health, etc.)

When I’ve given that speech, it has always been motivated by a genuine concern for their stress levels, health, and well being. They’ve all been rockstar performers who cared a lot about their career and I want them to be able to continue to enjoy it and do well. Hence, making sure they don’t burn out.

So maybe think about what parts of your job you love and want to keep as well as what parts you dislike and find demotivating? This might be an opportunity to get rid of (or greatly reduce) the stuff that doesn’t serve you well.

 

[Chillygirl]

I think it can be primarily work ethic that occasionally serves as a distraction or helps you feel in control. None of that is inherently bad. If it’s done intentionally and with thought, it can even be a healthy thing. I started a new job right after my dad died and then shortly after that agreed to temporarily move to another country. I loved all of it. It made me feel good to learn new things and be productive which helped me find a path through the loss.

It probably depends on your specific job, but I’ve been on both sides of the “don’t work so hard” conversation. When I received that feedback I eventually took it to heart. I thought about what I could delegate more and what things weren’t important and I should stop doing altogether. I thought about what motivated and fulfilled me versus what drained me. I also tried to come up with some boundaries that were specific to how I was balancing/juggling work and my personal life (taking lunches even if it’s just to socialize, not working on the weekends unless it’s really an emergency, not bringing my laptop on vacation, making sure I prioritized myself and health, etc.)

When I’ve given that speech, it has always been motivated by a genuine concern for their stress levels, health, and well being. They’ve all been rockstar performers who cared a lot about their career and I want them to be able to continue to enjoy it and do well. Hence, making sure they don’t burn out.

So maybe think about what parts of your job you love and want to keep as well as what parts you dislike and find demotivating? This might be an opportunity to get rid of (or greatly reduce) the stuff that doesn’t serve you well.

Sadly my work load is not heavy…I just do more than my coworkers. Example I do my assigned duties while the other 3 watch TikTok videos for 90% of the work day. I had recently gone to my supervisor saying I was feeling a bit demoralized by the situation and was just given the generic sympathetic noises. Then today I was given the “don’t work so hard” speech….but I do think I use work to escape other life issues.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Sadly my work load is not heavy…I just do more than my coworkers. Example I do my assigned duties while the other 3 watch TikTok videos for 90% of the work day. I had recently gone to my supervisor saying I was feeling a bit demoralized by the situation and was just given the generic sympathetic noises. Then today I was given the “don’t work so hard” speech….but I do think I use work to escape other life issues.

It sounds like your colleagues, and maybe your boss, are kind of lazy not the best role models

Maybe you can come up with a special work project or learn a skill to help battle feeling demoralized? And in parallel figure out how cope with other life issues without having to drown yourself in work.

 

[orangecurious]

My boss said I need to slow down and stop working so hard. She said “I get that you want to stay busy so you can block out what’s going on in your life….”

So now I’m overthinking my motivation to work. I thought it was just my work ethic but maybe it’s avoidance? Control? How do I fix this? I don’t know how to work less hard

THIS!

i recently had a week off work... just to use holiday time and sunk down as my brain just spiralled into the darkness.

If i have time off and do something, go somewhere, it's fine... otherwise... fall off the cliff.

I'm not sure it's the ACTUAL work, more the thought of doing something... i try and take breaks at work to avoid burnout (happened during lockdown), but to have a whole day away, or more is dangerous. Even hobbies don't fill that gap. It is odd, almost a sense of being worthy, doing something, being remotely useful.

 

[Chillygirl]

THIS!

i recently had a week off work... just to use holiday time and sunk down as my brain just spiralled into the darkness.

If i have time off and do something, go somewhere, it's fine... otherwise... fall off the cliff.

I'm not sure it's the ACTUAL work, more the thought of doing something... i try and take breaks at work to avoid burnout (happened during lockdown), but to have a whole day away, or more is dangerous. Even hobbies don't fill that gap. It is odd, almost a sense of being worthy, doing something, being remotely useful.

Yes! The self worth! I think especially right now for me…my kid is grown, no partner/spouse, I basically live with my parents again….for me there was a huge shift and I’m not where I thought I’d be in life at this point. There’s a lot of adjusting and repositioning in my life right now.

 

[Chillygirl]

It sounds like your colleagues, and maybe your boss, are kind of lazy not the best role models

Maybe you can come up with a special work project or learn a skill to help battle feeling demoralized? And in parallel figure out how cope with other life issues without having to drown yourself in work.

Definitely trying to balance life a bit more and learn better coping skills.

And no more new projects at work. Currently I do all the billing, payment posting and pre authorizations for the entire hospital. I’m learning to say no and not pick up more duties.

 

[orangecurious]

Yes! The self worth! I think especially right now for me…my kid is grown, no partner/spouse, I basically live with my parents again….for me there was a huge shift and I’m not where I thought I’d be in life at this point. There’s a lot of adjusting and repositioning in my life right now.

this site really needs a 'big hug' response emoji!

I love reading your posts on your thread and how honest you are - that is incredibly brave. Stay being yourself, the person i see in those posts is pretty bloody fabulous.

 

[Lmizzler]

Is that squirrel in my brain doing cart wheels again? He's probably going to get tired soon....right. I mean my mind should slow down and focus eventually. Wait....why is there a squirrel in my brain?

 

[Wand3rlust]

Is that squirrel in my brain doing cart wheels again? He's probably going to get tired soon....right. I mean my mind should slow down and focus eventually. Wait....why is there a squirrel in my brain?

And are you pronouncing it properly?

 

[Lmizzler]

And are you pronouncing it properly?

Damnit...good point....Now I need to overthink that too. Am I a Brit in disguise? Will my American south background show up in my pronunciation of this word? Do I even bother trying to say the word "oregano" ever again? I'll just refer to it as the O spice.
There all is good with the world again.

Should I have used a "u" in any of those words? Daumnit.

 

[Wand3rlust]

Damnit...good point....Now I need to overthink that too. Am I a Brit in disguise? Will my American south background show up in my pronunciation of this word? Do I even bother trying to say the word "oregano" ever again? I'll just refer to it as the O spice.
There all is good with the world again.

Should I have used a "u" in any of those words? Daumnit.

If you were a Brit in disguise, you'd know. More likely a Brit wannabe.

If in do ubt, add a 'u'.

 

[PMarky2]

I hate time off because then I'm an Aspie without a plan, and that is bad! My best girl is Aspie too, so when she says odd things like say, 'I don't know whether I will have time to get to it this week' when I give her an article that would take 10 minutes I know she has everything planned down to the last 5 minutes for the whole week.

 

[mortis]

What if everyone else is just under thinking…

 

[Amanda330]

Everything. Isn't that what overthinking is?

 

[FormerAllStar2]

Ever have one of those days where you didn’t sleep all that well to begin with, then you get out of bed and look around and think How the hell did I get here? And then you kind of ruminate in that all day? It’s one of those days for me.

 

[orangecurious]

Ever have one of those days where you didn’t sleep all that well to begin with, then you get out of bed and look around and think How the hell did I get here? And then you kind of ruminate in that all day? It’s one of those days for me.

isn't that every day?
It's odd thinking that that isn't what people think on a regular basis

 

[FormerAllStar2]

isn't that every day?
It's odd thinking that that isn't what people think on a regular basis

Honestly, I’m usually quite content these days. And then some days I wake up and I feel tired, old, and barely useful. These days are why I still go to therapy. Ha!

 

[Wriggle]

I've actually just over thought how to reply to this thread.

 

[PassionsFlame]

The future..

 

[forgotmyantidepressants]

Am I good enough?