Welcome to OA - Overthinkers Anonymous - What Are You Overthinking About Today?

[jeff_is_smiling]

Split the hospital scene into two or three parts to change the story pace, or keep it as one longer scene?

 

[mortis]

Well shit

 

[Matt12191982]

I was just thinking of starting a thread and .... being more self-conscious than usual. It's so odd that I desperately need conversation, but at the same time, I think, "I really don't wanna hear any jerks respond trying to show off" (it's corny, I think) and being quiet is one way to ensure that. I've been thinking of my life constantly. I've been wondering if my imagination is doing me more harm than good. The two extremes. So talkative, but thinking, "Do I need more overthinking?"

 

[PMarky2]

I'm over thinking the background noise at work... There is something going on, but I cannot figure out what it is.

 

[Chillygirl]

1. If he wanted to he would.

And in a different situation
2. I may have gone one red flag too far.

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

I may have gone one red flag too far.

You're supposed to stop at the first one! That's why it's a red flag

 

[DinglyDangly]

Insurance mess involving my daughter, her dad, blue cross and the doctor’s office. My daughter finally asked for my help cause her dad is just making a bigger mess. I called the ex yesterday and have taken over this mess. My coworker says I’m doing exactly what he wants and doing wifey things for him. Now I’m wondering if she’s right. I only got involved to help my daughter but did I just get manipulated by him?

You only did what you thought was best for your daughter

 

[DinglyDangly]

I'm over thinking, the lack of messages I haven't had in the last couple of days, that I was getting a day before!!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Resurrecting this little haven for the Overthinkers in the crowd. I’ve been pondering on the many lessons learned in 2024 that I want to take with me into the new year. I’m not much of one for resolutions but … I think keeping hard-earned truths front and center can be really good. Something about not learning from history means you’re doomed to repeat it blah blah

So a list for the New Year -
(literally for my own reference because no one will want to read this ) #selfindulgent

1. I read a quote by French author Michel de Montaigne which says “He who fears that he shall suffer is already suffering what he fears” and that so accurately summed me up. I have a fair amount of anxiety which I’ve learned to navigate pretty well (thanks therapy) but one thing that I’m still struggling to master is my tendency to pre-grieve things. Everyone and everything will come to an end (naturally) and my brain wants to hang out in the inevitable sadness and often self sabotages in order to have some control over that feeling. Instead, I need to learn to enjoy the present and work to make things as good as possible for as long as possible. Thinking of my last days with my good old pup here.

2. To apply an old church term to a lesson - I’ve learned how important “fresh revelation” is to the health of any type of relationship but speaking mostly of friendship. You can only ride on the wave of yesterday for so long. Without new experiences and conversations, relationships will fade into memory. You either accept that, which is sometimes necessary. Or, you work to keep rediscovering what makes the magic. Of course, this takes two but the right people will always match your energy. Thinking of friends who have moved and dropped the contact ball. Putting them high on the good memories shelf.

3.I’ve learned the only person I owe forgiveness to is myself. I’ve always been quick to forgive other people, smooth things over, and not make others feel bad in any way. And, conversely, I am very hard on myself. This year I’ve learned to extend that grace to myself when I did the best I could and others only when necessary. This is a big change for me but one that feels like shiny new armor. (Hey baby, like my breast plate? )

4. And the biggest one is just chasing something I want no matter how scared I am. I’m leaving out on a big adventure in the new year. One I’ve put off out of fear for…. well, let’s just say an embarrassingly long amount of time. I’m trying not to beat myself up for wasting time or self-sabotage in the final approach (see above) but to just dive in head first and be my own biggest fan for once. My main goal in life is simply to make myself proud. Thinking of an educational journey here.


Ok sorry it isn’t a very sexy list - the sexy stuff is maybe too personal for Lit (which is saying something) - but I’d love to know what you’re taking with you from 2024 into 2025.

 

[Apisto42]

Resurrecting this little haven for the Overthinkers in the crowd. I’ve been pondering on the many lessons learned in 2024 that I want to take with me into the new year. I’m not much of one for resolutions but … I think keeping hard-earned truths front and center can be really good. Something about not learning from history means you’re doomed to repeat it blah blah

So a list for the New Year -
(literally for my own reference because no one will want to read this ) #selfindulgent

1. I read a quote by French author Michel de Montaigne which says “He who fears that he shall suffer is already suffering what he fears” and that so accurately summed me up. I have a fair amount of anxiety which I’ve learned to navigate pretty well (thanks therapy) but one thing that I’m still struggling to master is my tendency to pre-grieve things. Everyone and everything will come to an end (naturally) and my brain wants to hang out in the inevitable sadness and often self sabotages in order to have some control over that feeling. Instead, I need to learn to enjoy the present and work to make things as good as possible for as long as possible.

2. To apply an old church term to a lesson - I’ve learned how important “fresh revelation” is to the health of any type of relationship but speaking mostly of friendship. You can only ride on the wave of yesterday for so long. Without new experiences and conversations, relationships will fade into memory. You either accept that, which is sometimes necessary. Or, you work to keep rediscovering what makes the magic. Of course, this takes two but the right people will always match your energy.

3.I’ve learned the only person I owe forgiveness to is myself. I’ve always been quick to forgive other people, smooth things over, and not make others feel bad in any way. And, conversely, I am very hard on myself. This year I’ve learned to extend that grace to myself when I did the best I could and others only when necessary. This is a big change for me but one that feels like shiny new armor. (Hey baby, like my breast plate? )

4. And the biggest one is just chasing something I want no matter how scared I am. I’m leaving out on a big adventure in the new year. One I’ve put off out of fear for…. well, let’s just say an embarrassingly long amount of time. I’m trying not to beat myself up for wasting time or self-sabotage in the final approach (see above) but to just dive in head first and be my own biggest fan for once. My main goal in life is simply to make myself proud.


Ok sorry it isn’t a very sexy list - the sexy stuff is maybe too personal for Lit (which is saying something) - but I’d love to know what you’re taking with you from 2024 into 2025.

You got this Dixie. Make yourself proud!

 

[subdudeme13]

What chant should I use to rest my thoughts. So many to choose from.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

Ok sorry it isn’t a very sexy list - the sexy stuff is maybe too personal for Lit (which is saying something) - but I’d love to know what you’re taking with you from 2024 into 2025.

The biggest thing I'm taking into next year is my newfound ability to say No. About midway through this year I just started getting completely burned out. Too many tasks, too many responsibilities, too many committees. I'm still going to be doing extra stuff, but not as much. Just going to be a lot more judicious with my time. It's valuable and I deserve some of it for myself.

 

[Chillygirl]

3.I’ve learned the only person I owe forgiveness to is myself. I’ve always been quick to forgive other people, smooth things over, and not make others feel bad in any way. And, conversely, I am very hard on myself. This year I’ve learned to extend that grace to myself when I did the best I could and others only when necessary. This is a big change for me but one that feels like shiny new armor. (Hey baby, like my breast plate? )

4. And the biggest one is just chasing something I want no matter how scared I am. I’m leaving out on a big adventure in the new year. One I’ve put off out of fear for…. well, let’s just say an embarrassingly long amount of time. I’m trying not to beat myself up for wasting time or self-sabotage in the final approach (see above) but to just dive in head first and be my own biggest fan for once. My main goal in life is simply to make myself proud.

I like your list, I like the thought behind it.

This has been a big therapy year for me too and your comments above are things I’m working on too.

I’m quick to forgive others, show them grace but rarely do it for myself. I lower my standards for others but not for myself. All of that needs to change.

I’ve given the last 25 years of my life to a husband and child. Well he left and she’s grown so now it’s my turn. I need to figure out what I like and bake my dreams come true now. I let fear of the unknown hold me back and that has to change.

I also need to work on letting go and not reacting. I like to know the whys and that keeps me stuck. I need to continue working on not reacting. Not everything deserves my energy or reaction.

As for sex and relationships. I need to learn to trust myself again so I have the confidence to pursue sex and a relationship. I can’t even imagine getting naked for another person right now. It scares the hell out of me. And a full blown relationship?! Id rather do my own root canal.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Good idea, PLP

Had a rough year, lost my dad (dementia, months of hospitalization & eventually death) and watching my mom starting into dementia as well - she's in her 80s now, not that I'd wish dementia on anyone.

I've not really learned much this last year, I don't think. More like calcifying habits, both good and bad, and taking it one day (sometimes, one breath) at a time. Lots of changes around me, but not much inside.

Dunno. *wry grin* Guess I'll stop blathering for a bit.

 

[Chillygirl]

I met a guy online a couple months ago and I thought things were fine. Last week he said he felt I was holding back and that made him want to pull back. So I got brave and honest and told him what was on my mind. We had a really good discussion and came up with some better boundaries and goals. So a couple days ago he tells me his happy he is and how good he feels about us and then he disappeared mid conversation. I haven’t heard from him since.

I feel stupid for being vulnerable. I feel like I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.

A friend told me to let it marinate for a couple days. It’s been a couple days. I’m tempted to just delete and block and move on like it never happened. And I’m constantly checking to see if he read my last message…

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I met a guy online a couple months ago and I thought things were fine. Last week he said he felt I was holding back and that made him want to pull back. So I got brave and honest and told him what was on my mind. We had a really good discussion and came up with some better boundaries and goals. So a couple days ago he tells me his happy he is and how good he feels about us and then he disappeared mid conversation. I haven’t heard from him since.

I feel stupid for being vulnerable. I feel like I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.

A friend told me to let it marinate for a couple days. It’s been a couple days. I’m tempted to just delete and block and move on like it never happened. And I’m constantly checking to see if he read my last message…

I believe I recently got ghosted myself...
"I'll message you tomorrow" he said.
Nope.
Next.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I met a guy online a couple months ago and I thought things were fine. Last week he said he felt I was holding back and that made him want to pull back. So I got brave and honest and told him what was on my mind. We had a really good discussion and came up with some better boundaries and goals. So a couple days ago he tells me his happy he is and how good he feels about us and then he disappeared mid conversation. I haven’t heard from him since.

I feel stupid for being vulnerable. I feel like I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.

A friend told me to let it marinate for a couple days. It’s been a couple days. I’m tempted to just delete and block and move on like it never happened. And I’m constantly checking to see if he read my last message…

I'd have to make sure he was still living before I blocked him. If he breathes, fuck him.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

@Chillygirl and @Ssbbw4u1974



This is one of the worst feelings.

I know it’s a sounds an unwanted platitude but … you are both awesome … you are both enough …

Because northerners (chillygirl) and GenXers (1974) are the very best of all.

 

[PMarky2]

I met a guy online a couple months ago and I thought things were fine. Last week he said he felt I was holding back and that made him want to pull back. So I got brave and honest and told him what was on my mind. We had a really good discussion and came up with some better boundaries and goals. So a couple days ago he tells me his happy he is and how good he feels about us and then he disappeared mid conversation. I haven’t heard from him since.

I feel stupid for being vulnerable. I feel like I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.

A friend told me to let it marinate for a couple days. It’s been a couple days. I’m tempted to just delete and block and move on like it never happened. And I’m constantly checking to see if he read my last message…

Sorry, me duck - you deserve better.

 

[Chillygirl]

I believe I recently got ghosted myself...
"I'll message you tomorrow" he said.
Nope.
Next.

I’m so sorry. I wish people could just be honest.

 

[Chillygirl]

I'd have to make sure he was still living before I blocked him. If he breathes, fuck him.

Well his social media has been quiet so maybe he’s not breathing….

 

[Chillygirl]

@Chillygirl and @Ssbbw4u1974



This is one of the worst feelings.

I know it’s a sounds an unwanted platitude but … you are both awesome … you are both enough …

Because northerners (chillygirl) and GenXers (1974) are the very best of all.

Thank you

Sorry, me duck - you deserve better.

Thank you, I think we all do

 

[Cruel_summer]

I met a guy online a couple months ago and I thought things were fine. Last week he said he felt I was holding back and that made him want to pull back. So I got brave and honest and told him what was on my mind. We had a really good discussion and came up with some better boundaries and goals. So a couple days ago he tells me his happy he is and how good he feels about us and then he disappeared mid conversation. I haven’t heard from him since.

I feel stupid for being vulnerable. I feel like I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.

A friend told me to let it marinate for a couple days. It’s been a couple days. I’m tempted to just delete and block and move on like it never happened. And I’m constantly checking to see if he read my last message…

Sending hugs because I’ve been there for sure

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Well his social media has been quiet so maybe he’s not breathing….

The not knowing is the worst, whether it’s a romantic, sexual, or platonic relationship. I wish more people felt confident enough to just be direct about things. You don’t owe someone more details than you want to share, but honor whatever you had by communicating something.

 

[quickshadow]

Sending hugs because I’ve been there for sure

Wow that is awful. Some guys (not all but some) are like rain: they show up when you least expect it, don’t really do too much h, then go away sooner than you want. Or the exact opposite, they show up and hang around so long you want them to go away. Some Guys are not good with deep feelings, because that makes us appear vulnerable and weak. Sadly, that false bravado also makes us incredibly insecure. My thoughts, if you didn’t have anything solidly established, you just saved yourself some trouble.