Were you spanked as a child?

[artful]

Spanked?

Yes I was! If I could remember them all,...I could count them on the fingers of one hand. Beaten or abused by spanking? Nope,...at least I don't think so. Who spanked me? My Dad. What did he use? His moderately wide leather belt,...yes,...the one that *swished* out of his pants belt loops.(I can still hear it)

Where? In our bathroom, (it was a large one), large enough for me to spin around in lurching circles, JUST before the belt found it's mark.
TARGET: My ass cheeks and upper thighs. My take on it? I was TERRIFIED of my Dad's wrath, he was the most quiet authoritative person I have ever met. He was CRUEL to others, but treated me as a nuisance.

I was something that RARELY evoked his attention. I was raised in a VERY dysfunctional family setting. My stepmother NEVER punished me physically,...but there was no reaching out to give me what EVERY child needs,...understanding and affection.

My stepmother gave me those,..."Just wait till your Father gets home", kind of threats.

I agree wholeheartedly with M666's method of parenting, and I can see the possibility of certain children being reared, without the NEED for a spanking.

 

[zipman]

Yes.

Hands, wooden spoons, and belts, mostly.

I still won't play with wooden spoons. They remind me of my mom.

Were you writing for me or yourself with this post. Mom used a wooden spoon and I could never use one with a sub. Too many memories.

Dad used his hand, fist and a belt (his favorite). The only way those early spankings have affected my play is that I would never, ever give a sub a spanking in anger. I still remember my father's rage when he would hit me. That and the fact that I view spanking in anger as a loss of self-control - something a good Dom should never do, IMHO.

 

[MzChrista]

I can remember only one time my Mom spanked me. My dad never did then when I was in Jr High and got rebellious he would smack me a lot.
It didnt do a bit of good.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I got the belt on my butt a couple of times that I can remember, but thankfully, I wasn't smacked around all the time.

 

[MzChrista]

I got the belt on my butt a couple of times that I can remember, but thankfully, I wasn't smacked around all the time.

I just had that one period about 2 years when it seemed like i was getting whacked in the head about every other day, and then either I got less provoking or he just got worn out with it.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I don't know how my parents lived through my years 14-17 without smacking me daily.

 

[MasterKensbeany]

Hello Everyone

I'm still pretty new around here. This subject caught my eye as I've given a lot of thought to the effects of childhood experiences on my choices as an adult. I was spanked as a child, not often and never abusively. Usually it was my mother who administered the spankings (does every mother use the wooden spoon?) although I did get a couple from my father as well. Like Monster666, my parents were very fair and methodical about our spankings. When a spanking was earned, they would have us sit in our rooms alone while they calmed themselves, they would never hit us in anger. We were always held and cared for afterwards as well. I know that part of the reason that I have no problems with Master spanking me in punishment is that I too associate love and caring with being spanked. Of course, they didn't teach me to love the more erotic aspects of spanking, that lesson I learned from my first Master and his mentor.

Respectfully
beany

PS I never hit other children when I was young, my parents made sure I had a clear understanding of the correct time and place for hitting.

 

[cymbidia]

I know that part of the reason that I have no problems with Master spanking me in punishment is that I too associate love and caring with being spanked. Of course, they didn't teach me to love the more erotic aspects of spanking, that lesson I learned from my first Master and his mentor.

Hello beany and a warm welcome to you. Please feel free to post on any thread that catches your eye and/or your imagination. We welcome new voices and new points of view in this place.

I associate love and caring with being spanked (as well as a healthy dose of good old fashioned wet 'n slippery eroticism), too. Only that didn't come from being spanked from my parents when i was a child.

Of course, i was fifteen when i had my first erotic spanking. Maybe i was still a child. He was already 22. Maybe he was something of a father figure.

Ewwwww...
No!
That's not one of my kinky turn-ons, thanks!

I'm not passing any judgements on you who get off on the father-figure thing. Not at all. It's just not at all for me. (Hey! Just like y'all, i get to have at least a few things on my ewwwwwww...no! list, don't you think?)




Ahem.
Welcome beany!
It's a pleasure to have another intelligent and well-spoken presence among us.

 

[MasterKensbeany]

Thank you Cymbidia for your warm welcome. I noticed a couple of similarities between us when I read your message on the "welcome newbies" thread. We're about the same age and we both started when we were 15 years old. Both from California too, just opposite ends....must say something about the times we grew up in I guess.

Thank you again
Respectfully
beany

 

[Kitte]

Yes, often and hard with belts and fists.
Is there a connection, I think so. I just havent been able to express it coherantly.

 

[spankableBelle]

Yes. The worst one was with a belt right before a 5 hour road trip when i was in the 5th grade...bare assed, came from my mother. Hurt like hell. Not the good kind of hurt either. i was spanked raw (along with all my other classmates) with a wooded paddle by a female teacher in the second grade...Ever since, women in authority positions, or female teachers, have always scared me, made me nervous, feel inadequate in ways...when i first started learning about BDSM, i stayed as far away from Dommes as i could get...just the dominance of them reminds me of the way my mother was (even though it is different) and i bolt like a bat out of hell...i have seen women be so cruel, more than a man sometimes...cold...no feeling...no emotion...no passion for anything but pain...and it frightens the shit out of me...not so much since i've been here around Shadowsdream, EB, MsWorthy, MsChrista...but i still have images and flashbacks...and i still am a frightened child when it comes to women with power, emotional or professional or whatever...it doesn't matter...

Of course with my screen name one would have to question some of this...i enjoy spankings of an erotic nature with a hand, a wooden spoon, a cock...from a man...though i think if He pulled out a belt, we'd have an issue...

Just my little quirks...

 

["angel" eve]

i

i was spanked as a child. by my father, only ever using his hand. it would be a few hard swats across the ass right then and there. the majority of times it came from me refusing to do a chore i had been assigned. refusing. being rude to my parents, generally disrespectful. after an hour of lecturing, me whining, arguing, he'd stop me where i was and smack my ass. it was never about bending over and pulling my pants down. my ass would be sore, but the pain faded pretty quickly really. i don't remember being spanked for disobedience, just when i was being seriously disrespectful. and only ever in our house. never in public.

if it was mom i was being really rude towards she'd tell me to go talk to dad, if he was home. if he wasn't, i had to go to my room. sometimes dad would decide to send me to my room instead of swatting my bum. i think i got smacked out of anger, simply because i never remember being spanked for doing anything except being rude toward my parents. but it was never abusive. definately unpleasant, humiliating, and i hated it, but not abusive.

i tend not to be disrespectful to anyone, not in the "no! i won't do what you say. you don't love me! you're so mean! i hate you. you're stupid. f-you" kind of way. more i point out where i think they're wrong and tell the person i don't like them. somewhat of an improvement.

monster 666, and cymbidia have explained the way i feel about spanking children. if it is done to protect them, if it is done with consitancy and an aim to teach, an underlying message of caring then it is completely acceptable. but if the child is capable of reasoning (not arguing and talking back) in that case a discussion is a better way of handling things.

today, i enjoy being spanked. by a partner i have chossen, for love, trust, caring etc. it doesn't remind me of my childhood. it just feels good, then and there, with that person in specific.

 

[Desdemona]

Yes, I was spanked (infrequently) as a child. I was also slapped. My grandmother used switches from a forsythia bush; she stripped the leaves except at the tips of the branch. She never stopped until she drew blood. As I think about it, all my spankings, etc came from my mother and grandmother. Dad never hit me in any way.

 

[luvsubbbbb]

Re: Yep

I was spanked as a child. However, I have never thought spanking was sexy or sensual as an adult. None of that "who's your Daddy?" stuff for Me. However I love spanking my subs!

Ebony

i was spanked a few times as a child as well, but NOT formally (over knee, etc.)...usually it was me running away and my mom "trying" to catch me to land a couple of swats......my dad never laid a hand on me growing up.........

today.....being spanked denotes to me like being treated like a child ............especially if one has been deemed to be acting like one.....

it is part of the territory if one's Owner feels it is necessary for correction purposes......and if part of a formal ritual, it is also very meaningful, symbolic and a catharsis of sorts.........

 

[Kitte]

i enjoy spankings of an erotic nature with a hand, a wooden spoon, a cock...from a man...though i think if He pulled out a belt, we'd have an issue...

That is the irony for me, I feared and loathed the belt as a child I would have chosen closed fists over it any day.
Now when I hear the belt coming...I shiver, I get wet, I whimper, I moan....

Maybe I am just twisted like that.

 

[MasterKensbeany]

You say "twisted" like its a bad thing...isn't being twisted why we're all here??

beany

 

[Mr Wolf]

I was spanked as a child, probably more than average but then I was a right little sod! I have always been very dominant and physical with the result that I got into lots of fights and other trouble hence my punishment. I knew if caught I would be so tried not to get caught but always excepted that I made a choice and paid the price for that choice. Did this make me a Dom, I think not it was already there, yes I punish my children this includes smacking as I feel that it worked for me ie; taught me right from wrong and to except the end result of your actions.
My daughter seems to have the same mental attitude that I have and I can see it now and have done for the last 2 years even though she is only 9, perhaps its genetics I don't know but I do feel that it is a mental mindset.
I am an ex-Army NCO, a bouncer and I work in Security not exactly what you would call wallflower occupations so perhaps this effects my daughters outlook on life again I don't know. It has lead me to my view that there is a mental aspect to who and what people are as well as genetic and not as much to do with social programming. All in my *humble*? opinion.

 

[Rubyfruit]

My grandmother used switches from a forsythia bush; she stripped the leaves except at the tips of the branch. She never stopped until she drew blood.

This broke my heart. No child should have to go through that. I'm sorry you had to.

 

[monster666]

Agreed.

I have no clue how that could not be construed as abuse in any culture, though some pretty extreme caning still goes on in some places in the world. It wasn't that long ago we were having a raging debate here in the states about an american boy scheduled for a public caning (I think in Singapore) as punishment for vandalizing cars.

This broke my heart. No child should have to go through that. I'm sorry you had to.

 

[Desdemona]

This broke my heart. No child should have to go through that. I'm sorry you had to.

Ruby, thank you. I probably shouldn't have been quite so graphic. This part of my past is a well healed scar and I sometimes forget how upsetting it can be.

Monster, I agree. Of course it was abuse.

For me, the important thing was ensuring that the cycle didn't continue into another generation in my family. My siblings and I have been successful in that endeavor and it makes me proud. I don't dwell on it. My scars are a part of who I am and I made peace with the past long ago.

 

[lilfrk]

My mom raised me the way monster raised his son and it's the way I raise Devin. I never hit from anger or frustration.

I think there is a huge difference between spanking and abuse. The way my mom raised me wasn't abuse, she didn't beat me. I only ever took one beating in my life and if I had to do it all over again I'd take it again. My mom had gone to work, it was summer time that's why I was home. My mom's man decided since my mother didn't give blowjobs that I would. He was wrong. I bit him instead, hard on the fleshy part of his inner thigh. I'm pretty sure I broke the skin. He used his elbow as hard as he could on my neck and back. I thought he'd broke my back and I'd never walk again. It took weeks for my bruises to go away and I'd still take the beating anyday over sucking his dick.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Ruby, thank you. I probably shouldn't have been quite so graphic. This part of my past is a well healed scar and I sometimes forget how upsetting it can be.

I hear you on this. It's why I don't get into my past in much detail. Talking with cym (who knows me well enough to know I'm more or less fine now) always reminds me of the *gasp* factor of blood and broken bones...the kinds of things that you can learn to take for granted, under the circumstances.

For me, the important thing was ensuring that the cycle didn't continue into another generation in my family.

Yeah. This is a big part of why I don't want kids, actually. The bullshit stops here.

I don't dwell on it. My scars are a part of who I am and I made peace with the past long ago.

You're very strong to have done so, Des. You sound like you're fully together now. More blessings upon you.

I don't think I've made peace, and I don't know if I ever will. But, I choose my life, I own my choices, and I refuse--as I always have--to consider myself broken by these things I could not control. I left home the minute I could, and I'll never go back. The past is a closed door, and that's enough. It has to be.

 

[artful]

RS

I left home the minute I could, and I'll never go back. The past is a closed door, and that's enough. It has to be.

I so agree with this statement. A reminder to us ALL,...not only are there doors to OPEN,...but there ARE doors that we can CLOSE,...and that's how it should be.

(JMHO),...but it's mine,...and I own it.

 

[cymbidia]

I don't think I've made peace, and I don't know if I ever will. But, I choose my life, I own my choices, and I refuse--as I always have--to consider myself broken by these things I could not control.

You're the strongest person i've ever known, R, and you possess a truly astounding capacity for caring. Those things are interwoven with your flat refusal to see anything at all through rose-tinted glasses and an adamant insistence on the highest standards of honesty and personal integrity.

All this is true.
She'll deny and make fun of it - but it's true nonetheless.

She's not broken at all.

 

[RisiaSkye]

You're the strongest person i've ever known, R, and you possess a truly astounding capacity for caring. Those things are interwoven with your flat refusal to see anything at all through rose-tinted glasses and an adamant insistence on the highest standards of honesty and personal integrity.

I appreciate the sentiment, hon. You know I do.
But you also know that I see myself--my life, my choices, my need to rigidly control and micro-manage my existence--through rose-colored glasses, and I do it without even recognizing it sometimes. I'm at least as complacent as I am self-critical.

I'm not nearly as strong and generally faboo as you insist on claiming, b. But I love you for wanting to insist upon it anyway. And it makes me want to live up to this (unrealistic) picture of me, so thank you for that too.

, RS