What being a slave means to me...

[MoonduskSub]

Thank you James Sir. Yes it is important. I would love to hear from any and all....bottoms, subs, slaves, Dom/mes, Masters/Mistresses. It does not matter. No classifications here....I just wanted to gather everyone's definition of what they thought....::smiles::
None are better, none are worst...all are special


Moonie

I think it's important to say that no one here is saying any of these self-defined states of being are "better" or above one another
A submissive is as wonderful in her way as a slave or a bottom
None of them are "mere" and nothing here is intended to make anyone feel that way

 

[ownedsubgal]

slave...

to me, to be a slave means to be the property of another, or others. i know that many feel they are slaves without being owned, but when i read their definitions of slavery, to me they are defining what it is to be a natural/born submissive. the example of being called to serve a man while cooking...i'd switch off the heat and immediately take care of him, whoever he was...that is how i am and always have been. i was born submissive...i do not know how to be any other way. i aim to please others, even if i do not care for them or like them, i do what i'm told, whether i truly want to or not. saying "no" or refusing someone is next to impossible for me, particularly to a man. of course, i'm referring to real day to day life here, and not the internet. i'm not able to function well in positions of leadership or control. i'm best suited to do the "grunt" work, that needs to be done, but that most consider above them. i'm shy, quiet, generally keep to myself in public vanilla situations. that is all just me, and how i have been since day one.

nearly 3 years ago now, i became the property of my Master and Daddy. so, i was from that point on a slave. still a submissive, i will always be a submissive...being owned doesn't change that for me...but i'm now a submissive who is a slave. i belong to only One. but i am still submissive to all, because that is who i am at my core. my Master owns me mind, heart, body and spirit...i have given my complete self to him...denied him nothing...my life and fate are in his hands now and until the end of my days on this planet.

 

[WillowPuss]

I think it's important to say that no one here is saying any of these self-defined states of being are "better" or above one another
A submissive is as wonderful in her way as a slave or a bottom
None of them are "mere" and nothing here is intended to make anyone feel that way

Thats why I put mere in inverted commas!
(Perhaps there should be a punctuation mark for tongue in cheek!)

 

[MoonduskSub]

Re: slave...

Thank you for your explaination of what being a slave is to you...
I did want to comment on something you mentioned about being submissive in your daily life.
The people I have talked to, whether they be submissive or dominant (or anything along those lines, yes im being lazy with typing it all out) have different prespectives of what a submissive, bottom, slave is in their daily life. My first post mentioned that generally, a slave doesn't have a submissive bone in her body, but that is not necessarily true in all cases.

This is true for only part of the people I have spoken to. Many submissives and/or slaves are in careers that demand so much focus and modivation, that this lifestyle they choose to live, turns out to be a relaxation from the daily stresses in some cases. This can be noticed more with Men. For instance, a CEO of a business (male) might be the head of the largest cooperation, but at home a whimmering, begging, submissive who wants nothing more than to serve his Mistress (movies tend to portray this more than the other way around...Did I hear something about women's rights having an influnce? ::grins:. Of course this is a sterotype, but true in alot of situations.

It all depends. One thing I hear alot about is that submissives, slaves, bottoms are not passive. I on the other hand am quite passive (I usually never make a first move). That is something I work on...because the desire is always there to do what needs to be done, but sometimes i need that reinforcing voice behind me telling me to do it. LOL. But being passive does not make me submissive, a slave, or a bottom either. It all depends..there are other times when I won't even ask.

Everyone is different....thank you again for sharing your insight. Does anyone have a comment on the topic of how their nilla lives differ from their BDSM lifestyle? Do you find that submissives, slaves, bottoms are more apt to be in higher positions in their nilla lifestyle? I'd love to hear any comments.



Moonie

to me, to be a slave means to be the property of another, or others. i know that many feel they are slaves without being owned, but when i read their definitions of slavery, to me they are defining what it is to be a natural/born submissive. the example of being called to serve a man while cooking...i'd switch off the heat and immediately take care of him, whoever he was...that is how i am and always have been. i was born submissive...i do not know how to be any other way. i aim to please others, even if i do not care for them or like them, i do what i'm told, whether i truly want to or not. saying "no" or refusing someone is next to impossible for me, particularly to a man. of course, i'm referring to real day to day life here, and not the internet. i'm not able to function well in positions of leadership or control. i'm best suited to do the "grunt" work, that needs to be done, but that most consider above them. i'm shy, quiet, generally keep to myself in public vanilla situations. that is all just me, and how i have been since day one.

nearly 3 years ago now, i became the property of my Master and Daddy. so, i was from that point on a slave. still a submissive, i will always be a submissive...being owned doesn't change that for me...but i'm now a submissive who is a slave. i belong to only One. but i am still submissive to all, because that is who i am at my core. my Master owns me mind, heart, body and spirit...i have given my complete self to him...denied him nothing...my life and fate are in his hands now and until the end of my days on this planet.

 

[ownedsubgal]

hi Moondusk...

...this is a very interesing thread you started, and actually what prompted me to start posting on these boards. so thanks.

wanted to give my take on this:

"Everyone is different....thank you again for sharing your insight. Does anyone have a comment on the topic of how their nilla lives differ from their BDSM lifestyle? Do you find that submissives, slaves, bottoms are more apt to be in higher positions in their nilla lifestyle? I'd love to hear any comments."

i do know of many submissives/slaves who are in positions of power in their work or in their family lives, male and female. but i wouldn't go so far as to say that a submissive or slave is more likely to be in a more powerful position in the vanilla world...to be absolutely honest, i think that those with an extremely submissive nature, which i think is rare, would find it very difficult, if not impossible, to have a career which required them to be in control or lead others. there is no way in the world i could ever have a job in which i was anyone's "boss", not because i don't have the mind or skill for it, but because it would completely go against my nature, and i'd do very poorly at guiding/leading anyone or telling anyone what to do.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: hi Moondusk...

[B<snip>...to be absolutely honest, i think that those with an extremely submissive nature, which i think is rare, would find it very difficult, if not impossible, to have a career which required them to be in control or lead others. there is no way in the world i could ever have a job in which i was anyone's "boss", not because i don't have the mind or skill for it, but because it would completely go against my nature, and i'd do very poorly at guiding/leading anyone or telling anyone what to do. [/B]

It is interesting that you mention this because I have met a sub who is male, very submissive, and he is having health problems associated with the stress of being in charge when he would rather be at home serving his Mistress.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Re: Re: hi Moondusk...

It is interesting that you mention this because I have met a sub who is male, very submissive, and he is having health problems associated with the stress of being in charge when he would rather be at home serving his Mistress.

yep, that is exactly what i mean...poor guy.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: hi Moondusk...

yep, that is exactly what i mean...poor guy.

He is good at it, but he just does not want to do it anymore. He does not enjoy it. I know of others in the same boat, male and female.

 

[MoonduskSub]

Re: Re: Re: Re: hi Moondusk...

I am still in college, and rather young. I am in a position of power at my college as well. I am what is considered a student leader, being a part of the Student Goverment (on the executive board) and other orgainzations. I love the community service, the helping, the doing, the reconigition, BUT the stress is unbelievable. I get very tensed up, but I handle it. Could I do it everyday for the rest of my life. Yes. I love being bossy ::grins:: There are times when I HATE what I do. I can't stand the people I am surrounded with, and I want nothing more than to escape into a world of quiet and peace. I am a very solitare person, and amazingly introverted. Anyways, I understand what both of you are saying....it becomes a burden a times. You have to truely love it...(just like any other job)...Thanks for posting, Im glad that I got you going on a thread ::smiles::


Moonie
P.S. Id still love to hear others comments on the question asked eariler....

He is good at it, but he just does not want to do it anymore. He does not enjoy it. I know of others in the same boat, male and female.

 

[Richard49]

I am reading and rereading

I am not to old to learn

Eb you mentioned a male slave that the stress of work
(I think it was work)
of an obsticle that keeps him from "serving" has caused health issues ... don't you think a Dom/me that has an obsticle slowing down his/her dominating can get sick also?

Did the above make sence ?

 

[James G 5]

Thats why I put mere in inverted commas!
(Perhaps there should be a punctuation mark for tongue in cheek!)

And another for "I want to put my tongue between your cheeks"?

 

[James G 5]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: hi Moondusk...

I am a very solitare person, and amazingly introverted.

Hopefully dragging you out in public naked often enough will fix that........

 

[Shadowsdream]

Every male I have Dominated has been in a position of Power in his work world..every one loved their position even though they also craved more time to be at My feet. Fortunately My slave can have the best of both worlds as much of his business can be run from the home office and those board etc moments outside of the home give U/us both some free time....~~grin~~
I do see more submissives, male and female in My real world that are Doctors, Lawyers, Executives or Business owners. I see less of these high power jobs in the lives of the Dominants.

 

[MoonduskSub]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: hi Moondusk...

Who says I want it fixed!?!?! LOL.....I like being like that ...
(me and my mouth)


Moonie

Hopefully dragging you out in public naked often enough will fix that........

 

[MoonduskSub]

Do you think there is a reason for seeing less of these "high powered careers" in the lives of Dominants?
It has been told to me that, generally, Dominants tend to be much more laid back...what are your thoughts and others thoughts on this?


Moonie

Every male I have Dominated has been in a position of Power in his work world..every one loved their position even though they also craved more time to be at My feet. Fortunately My slave can have the best of both worlds as much of his business can be run from the home office and those board etc moments outside of the home give U/us both some free time....~~grin~~
I do see more submissives, male and female in My real world that are Doctors, Lawyers, Executives or Business owners. I see less of these high power jobs in the lives of the Dominants.

 

[Shadowsdream]

submission often originates in the need to give up responsibility ( enough already) Dominance has the need to take responsibility ( not overwhelmed with it already) perhaps.

 

[MoonduskSub]

I am glad you explained it so simply...thank you.


Moonie

submission often originates in the need to give up responsibility ( enough already) Dominance has the need to take responsibility ( not overwhelmed with it already) perhaps.

 

[James G 5]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: hi Moondusk...

Who says I want it fixed!?!?! LOL.....I like being like that ...
(me and my mouth)

Between the words & the cigarettes it DOES get you in a lot of trouble

 

[WynEternal]

Between the words & the cigarettes it DOES get you in a lot of trouble

And a submissive/slave stomping her foot and sticking out her tongue to her Sir...

 

[MoonduskSub]

I don't know a thing about stomping feet or sticking out tongues at my Sir....p).....::smirks::......hehe.....


Moonie

And a submissive/slave stomping her foot and sticking out her tongue to her Sir...

 

[James G 5]

I don't know a thing about stomping feet or sticking out tongues at my Sir....p).....::smirks::......hehe.....

Gee Wyn, she's trying to get her section in the book to be as long as yours...........

 

[MLadyPain]

I can only speak from my own experiences... but my brief stint (2years) as a slave taught me much about myself.

I know that I am NOT a slave

I decided to expore the aspect of bdsm known as "slave" because 1) I knew I wasn't really submissive; 2) I wanted to be an important part of someone's life but not linked romantically; 3) it was an area I was not familiar with, nor had I know anyone up to that point that identified with the label "slave".

We negotiated a no-limits, no-safeword relationship. He knew what my psychological limits and pitfalls were. I trusted him with those.

What ultimately happened was that I lost my identity. I lost all sense of self.... self-respect, self-esteem, self-love... I don't know if he was the wrong person, if it was the wrong time for me (shortly after a painful disolvment of marriage), or if it was simply not meant to be... things happened within the Master/slave relationship that did me harm, and I felt powerless to stop them.

I've heard many embrace and accept the loss of personal power... for me, it destroyed more than it enhanced. I was numb. I felt nothing. I was not creative. I was not spiritual. I was not...ME. I felt cheated that I had not grown as a person as others seem to do. I begin to feel extreme resentment against my Master but was unable to act or express those feelings.

It has been several years since my release and I still feel the effects. I have little self-respect, esteem & love. I have moments of sheer panic when flirted with or approached sexually. I have not been able to cultivate any healthy, long term relationships since then. A primary partner seems unreachable for me now. Any romantic involvement has failed before even starting...

But all is not bleak... alot of personal growth is going on. I am regaining my creativity, my spirituality, myself-ness (is that a word? LOL) My sexual self is still buried but in there somewhere LOL

Laura

 

[MoonduskSub]

Thank you for posting MLadyPain...I know that must have been hard. I think that it can feel like you might be "losing" yourself and I can related. There have been times when things are overwhelming and for me it could seem like I lost myself. This never proved to be true in MY case, but I can understand how that can be possible...very possible. Again thank you for sharing...and it leads me to other questions....

Have any of you ever felt "lost" in the position you partake in? Any slave, sub, bottom, top, Dom/me, Master/Mistress, care to share?
What about second guessing your position?
Id love to hear the comments....
Thanks


Moonie

I can only speak from my own experiences... but my brief stint (2years) as a slave taught me much about myself.

I know that I am NOT a slave

I decided to expore the aspect of bdsm known as "slave" because 1) I knew I wasn't really submissive; 2) I wanted to be an important part of someone's life but not linked romantically; 3) it was an area I was not familiar with, nor had I know anyone up to that point that identified with the label "slave".

We negotiated a no-limits, no-safeword relationship. He knew what my psychological limits and pitfalls were. I trusted him with those.

What ultimately happened was that I lost my identity. I lost all sense of self.... self-respect, self-esteem, self-love... I don't know if he was the wrong person, if it was the wrong time for me (shortly after a painful disolvment of marriage), or if it was simply not meant to be... things happened within the Master/slave relationship that did me harm, and I felt powerless to stop them.

I've heard many embrace and accept the loss of personal power... for me, it destroyed more than it enhanced. I was numb. I felt nothing. I was not creative. I was not spiritual. I was not...ME. I felt cheated that I had not grown as a person as others seem to do. I begin to feel extreme resentment against my Master but was unable to act or express those feelings.

It has been several years since my release and I still feel the effects. I have little self-respect, esteem & love. I have moments of sheer panic when flirted with or approached sexually. I have not been able to cultivate any healthy, long term relationships since then. A primary partner seems unreachable for me now. Any romantic involvement has failed before even starting...

But all is not bleak... alot of personal growth is going on. I am regaining my creativity, my spirituality, myself-ness (is that a word? LOL) My sexual self is still buried but in there somewhere LOL

Laura

 

[redelicious]

A friend defined the differences as being that, a submissive likes to please all those around him/her, whereas a slave wishes to please "the one", his/her owner in everything they do. She continued to say that slaves don't have a submissive bone in their bodies. Could I agree? Wholeheartly.

Thank you Moonie for this thread.

I have always thought of the term slave as it applied in a 24/7 type relationship. It never really occured to me that a Master/slave dymanic could be present in a more casual environment. I am going to have to think about this awhile because your definitions throw me off a little bit.

 

[MoonduskSub]

Re: Re: What being a slave means to me...

LOL....I think that is good and bad they throw you off. Though many consider me submissive, those who know me through and through think of me more slave than anything. I agree with them, but it is a term that even throws me off at times... I don't act like a "slave" (or what some would consider such), yet that depends also on the situation.
When I am around someone who I consider my Master (and it is agreed upon) I serve them anyway that I can to please THEM....if that involves pleasing others, than I do it...no questions asked....(okay I put up a little bit of a fight if it pushes my limits, but I do it anyways eventually hehe).....very submissive trait..what I just described, but there is something more, something not tangible that I can not describe.
It is like if someone else asked me to do the things my Master asked I'd blantly tell them, "Go to hell" lol....I hope that makes sense......geesh it gets harder and harder to explain

Feel free to ask anything. I hope to give you ideas outside of the box and I hope that others can share thier imput as well


Moonie

Thank you Moonie for this thread.

I have always thought of the term slave as it applied in a 24/7 type relationship. It never really occured to me that a Master/slave dymanic could be present in a more casual environment. I am going to have to think about this awhile because your definitions throw me off a little bit.