what do you like about BDSM?

[Netzach]

I hear a vague flatulent sound from a dark corner somewhere. Wasn't me.

 

[midwestyankee]

I hear a vague flatulent sound from a dark corner somewhere. Wasn't me.

Couldn't have been me, as you're talking about a recent occurrence and I'm an old fart.

 

[Netzach]

Fairly recent, already stale.

 

[Dominant_Chef]

I hear a vague flatulent sound from a dark corner somewhere. Wasn't me.

Oi Panda eyes, was it me?

 

[Dominant_Chef]

Evening midwestpanhead...

 

[midwestyankee]

Evening midwestpanhead...

It's an insult to a legendary Harley when "pan head" leaves your keyboard.

 

[castagnus]

for me it takes sex way beyond the idea of naked flesh, and an orgasm.
it delves into the part of your mind you feared, and then found out it turns you on.
exploration of the mind takes sex beyond just mere sex.
taking a shy, closed minded woman, and taking her to her limits of her own mind. the part she feared.

A resonant, long-lasting BDSM relationship has all the attributes of gold. It is rare, pleasing to the senses and continures to bring durable pleasure.

 

[ivantheterrible]

if people stop responding to DC he might just go the fuck away. like a fart in the wind.

 

[Dominant_Chef]

if people stop responding to DC he might just go the fuck away. like a fart in the wind.

Then again, he may just stay as he knows how much he annoys you perverted freaks...

 

[greeneyed_Lady]

if people stop responding to DC he might just go the fuck away. like a fart in the wind.

I couldn't agree more. *has already put him on iggy*

I'm *new* to BDSM, altho apparently it's been a part of who I am and what I am since I was much younger. I am a pleaser, and if the person I'm with is pleased by a beating, then by gosh I'm going to be the one giving them that. It goes beyond that tho.. it goes beyond physical sex. That they trust me enough to not do some serious damage to them gives me a high. To hear the moans of pleasure/pain make me beyond aroused. I get a complete rush afterwards... they are not the only ones subjected to an endorphin high.

I think it comes back to a better level of communication to me tho. It's honest, open, deeper then I've experienced in any vanilla relationship I've ever had. I crave that honesty I think.

Wow.. more theraputic then a shrink.

 

[subbie_333]

I see women as the dominant sex. Every man needs a woman... women don't need men., they can live without us. I like being submissive and letting her decide what and when I do anything. Women are dominant and superior and I trust fully that she'll guide me, like I could never do for myself because i'm a male.

i know a number of dominant women, dominant men, submissive men, and, submissive women who would all be offended by the idea of any one group of people being "superior".

 

[Homburg]

I'll answer this question if everyone else stops responding to the bloviating thing.

I just ignored him. Simpler.

--

To answer, I enjoy it overall because it allows me a moderately useful framework in which to fulfill my desires.

 

[brigid_fitch]

The release.

I'm a responsible person in the real world, in charge of alot of stuff, like to be a hands on person.

BDSM allows me to let go of all of that.

That's also why I gravitate towards BDSM. I'm in charge of a large piece of business at my company, which keeps me on my toes constantly. At home, I'm also responsible for pretty much everything, as I'm the breadwinner. Being a sub allows me to finally put someone else in charge, make all my decisions for me. It's like a vacation!

 

[Etoile]

I see women as the dominant sex. Every man needs a woman... women don't need men., they can live without us. I like being submissive and letting her decide what and when I do anything. Women are dominant and superior and I trust fully that she'll guide me, like I could never do for myself because i'm a male.

See, I don't believe in males or females being superior/inferior to each other. I think a person is superior/inferior to another person. You have to find the person that works for you. Finding a submissive woman and expecting her to dominate a man because she's a woman is going to result in much awkwardness. Some men are superior, some men are inferior. Some women are superior, some women are inferior. I see it as an individual thing, not a universal thing.

 

[the_mgp]

*************

 

[Harmony_1985]

That's also why I gravitate towards BDSM. I'm in charge of a large piece of business at my company, which keeps me on my toes constantly. At home, I'm also responsible for pretty much everything, as I'm the breadwinner. Being a sub allows me to finally put someone else in charge, make all my decisions for me. It's like a vacation!

Exactly. In real life I'm constantly thinking about the stuff I'm responsible for and my brain is constantly on the go, mulling over different things.

The moment I have playtime, all of that just flies out the window. I don't have to worry about it, I don't even have to think about it, it just leaves me.

And that is the release I want, to not have a care in the world, even if it is only for 2-3 hours.

 

[LFO]

I'm not sure yet, because I'm new to it, but once I get where I'm going I'll let you know for sure!

 

[unpredictablebijou]

One of the things I was most impressed with, when I first began to meet the actual community, was how honest and playful people in this lifestyle are.

First, they own their shit. We take responsibility for what we enjoy, we are straightforward about it, and aren't greeted with shame or judgment about it. I like this, you like that. If those two crooked bits fit together well, then perhaps we go and "play" and we each get to do what we enjoy. If they don't fit, there's no judgment, just an acknowledgment that our kinks aren't compatible.

In the vanilla world, game-playing, shame and lack of self-awareness are somewhat more common, and sometimes even encouraged. Here, you really have to know what you want and what you like, and take responsibility for it, whatever it is, or it isn't going to happen for you.

I was most impressed with this aspect early on, and it has stayed with me. Really, those characteristics have little to do with the actual activities, and would benefit even the most vanilla of people: know what you enjoy, be responsible for seeking it out and asking for it, don't judge other people's desires just because you're not into the same things, and take charge of your own arousal and satisfaction.

It was a refreshing thing to see, to say the least. I remember the first time I watched some people negotiate a scene, and I was blown away by how straightforward it was, and how it didn't seem to take any of the fun or mystery out of it when they talked through what they wanted beforehand. Quite the contrary: it was more satisfying and more appealing because everyone went in knowing the desires and wiring of the other people involved.

Anyway, that's one major reason I continue to hang around...

that and I'm fiercely kinky.

bj

 

[Dominant_Chef]

I just ignored him. Simpler.

How very fucking rude...

 

[Essene]

How very fucking rude...

Meow. MMMMM D_C... I so love it when you're being hypocritical.


I'm not finding anything about BDSM to be to my liking lately, but I'm going through a "thing".

I used to find the intensity incredibly inspiring. I enjoy adventure and healthy risk taking. BDSM is such a broad topic, and so many options are open to you. It's fun. Made me feel alive, sated, relieved, etc etc.

 

[romantic_always]

There are aspects of the BDSM kinks that intrigue and pleasure me, but only a few. It spices up sex and the atmosphere and can bring a new intensity to the bedroom.

 

[Chiisai_Neko]

My favorite part of BDSM is the way I get to completely switch around who I am when I'm "playing." In my normal, everyday life, I'm a very obnoxious, opinionated, domineering cunt (not that that's a bad thing at all). I have to be in control of my daily situation. So, when I go to the bedroom (or the back of my boyfriend's van, or the shower...) and turn into an obedient slave girl, it's a nice release from my usual power and control issues.

 

[Etoile]

Great. A D_C thread got bumped by a spammer.