What does it take to become a HT regular?

[Norajane]

I don't think we need to beat ourselves up for being cliquish just because we choose to spend our time posting regularly to one forum or another. The definition of a regular is someone who posts often and interacts with others. For good or ill, that's we are.

The forum is open to everyone. If they want to come here and post often, they too will become familiar to us all, again, for good or ill.

I can tell you from my recent experience with, erm, identity management, that the HT people are actually quite welcoming to newbies. I got plenty of welcomes in threads, and even some PMs from folks who appreciated something I said in a thread.

 

[midwestyankee]

I don't think we need to beat ourselves up for being cliquish just because we choose to spend our time posting regularly to one forum or another. The definition of a regular is someone who posts often and interacts with others. For good or ill, that's we are.

The forum is open to everyone. If they want to come here and post often, they too will become familiar to us all, again, for good or ill.

I can tell you from my recent experience with, erm, identity management, that the HT people are actually quite welcoming to newbies. I got plenty of welcomes in threads, and even some PMs from folks who appreciated something I said in a thread.

Norajane, I can't disagree with anything you said here. However, your experience is not necessarily the norm.

 

[bobsgirl]

This could be true. I don't remember the extent to which the friendliness drew me to the HT, but I'm sure it played a part. The thing is, and this takes me to the second question in my opening post: what is it about the regulars in HT that bring about the unique nature of this community?

Humor, for one thing. And I've never seen an example of when it was mean-spirited.

I have to say that I lurked here for a LONG time before I posted. The sense of community never intimidated me--it was what drew me. And like WW said, the names have changed in large part but the friendliness of the HT aas a whole is the same.

 

[Eilan]

what is it about the regulars in HT that bring about the unique nature of this community?

You could ask this same question of any other board on Lit.

For the GB, I'd say it's having a thick skin, having the ability to give as good as you get, and having the ability to accept that some people are so determined to be right that they'll disregard anything and anyone who disagrees with them.

The AH is similar to the GB except the debates seem to be more carefully reasoned and (mostly) more civil.

On the Personals Board/Playground, the banter seems to be more overtly sexual, for the most part, and it's been my experience over there that there's a pretty strong core of regulars, but people also come and go more often. And because of the amount never-ending threads over there, that environment seems more intimidating to a n00b. Or at least it did to me when I de-lurked.

The other boards, like the RP and Poetry boards, I can't really speak for because I don't go there often enough to have an opinion, but I'm sure there's the same core group of people on those boards as well.

I'm gonna second what BG said about the humor on HT. But really, it's something that I can't put my finger on; it seems like a chemistry issue. I just know that I like most of the people who post here even though I don't know some of them as well as I'd like to.

 

[Norajane]

Norajane, I can't disagree with anything you said here. However, your experience is not necessarily the norm.

Probably not - I'm not a 20 year old, meaning I'm neither shy nor easily intimidated. I don't think shy, easily intimidated people find it easy on any of the forums.

 

[bobsgirl]

Probably not - I'm not a 20 year old, meaning I'm neither shy nor easily intimidated. I don't think shy, easily intimidated people find it easy on any of the forums.

Absolutely correct. Anyone who is shy and unsure of themselves will have difficulty even on the most friendly and open of forums. I think it's really important to lurk for a while to get a handle on the dynamics and personality of the board. It takes a while to fit in.

Apropos of nothing, I remember my first PM from someone sat in my Inbox for a month before I even realized it was there! I was very unsure of myself at first.

 

[midwestyankee]

Absolutely correct. Anyone who is shy and unsure of themselves will have difficulty even on the most friendly and open of forums. I think it's really important to lurk for a while to get a handle on the dynamics and personality of the board. It takes a while to fit in.

Apropos of nothing, I remember my first PM from someone sat in my Inbox for a month before I even realized it was there! I was very unsure of myself at first.

And I thought you were such a snob.

 

[bobsgirl]

And I thought you were such a snob.

Nope. Just a weenie.

 

[midwestyankee]

Nope. Just a weenie.

I beg your pardon. I usually call it something much more majestic.

 

[bobsgirl]

I beg your pardon. I usually call it something much more majestic.

Well, if you wanna get into a size contest, I can almost guarantee you mine is smaller.

 

[midwestyankee]

Well, if you wanna get into a size contest, I can almost guarantee you mine is smaller.

Nope. I don't get into pissing contests either, though I used to win more than my share of real ones.

 

[Eilan]

I think it's really important to lurk for a while to get a handle on the dynamics and personality of the board. It takes a while to fit in.

I've said the same thing. And I don't say it because I'm a snob and I'm trying to tell people how to post. IRL, how many of us would jump into a random group of people and start talking? Or, since it's more Lit-appropriate, how many of us would whip out our cocks or flash our boobs?

Back when I was pregnant with one of my youngest children, I lurked on a pregnancy/parenting forum. I was there for ages and I think I had maybe 10 posts. Hell, I don't even remember my username. I just didn't click with the people, and I'm not sure why. Probably because of my love of porn.

 

[bobsgirl]

Nope. I don't get into pissing contests either, though I used to win more than my share of real ones.

I don't doubt that a bit.

 

[bobsgirl]

I've said the same thing. And I don't say it because I'm a snob and I'm trying to tell people how to post. IRL, how many of us would jump into a random group of people and start talking? Or, since it's more Lit-appropriate, how many of us would whip out our cocks or flash our boobs?

Back when I was pregnant with one of my youngest children, I lurked on a pregnancy/parenting forum. I was there for ages and I think I had maybe 10 posts. Hell, I don't even remember my username. I just didn't click with the people, and I'm not sure why. Probably because of my love of porn.

I had an experience similar to yours in a quilting forum. I love quilting, but discussing quarter-inch seams and sawtooth stars just wasn't going to cut it with me. Some of them were younger than me and I thought they were all old ladies.

I'd rather flash my boobies.

 

[Norajane]

I'd rather flash my boobies.

LOL!

I was an internet forum virgin before I stumbled onto Lit. And I don't belong to other boards anywhere. I'm a monogomous slut.

 

[Eilan]

LOL!

I was an internet forum virgin before I stumbled onto Lit. And I don't belong to other boards anywhere. I'm a monogomous slut.

Yeah, but I'd never invite you into my house because you'd be offended by my husband's masturbatory habits.

And you're apparently anti-bisexual.

 

[Quoll]

Absolutely correct. Anyone who is shy and unsure of themselves will have difficulty even on the most friendly and open of forums. I think it's really important to lurk for a while to get a handle on the dynamics and personality of the board. It takes a while to fit in.

Apropos of nothing, I remember my first PM from someone sat in my Inbox for a month before I even realized it was there! I was very unsure of myself at first.

I think I had been here for about 3 or 4 months before getting my first PM, I got two on the same day, I nearly shit myself.

As for the clique thing, I don't buy it at all, yes I am a regular here and I have a lot of fun posting with the other regulars. Why? Because they post more often (hence the title regular). Mind you if someone who is not so regular makes a post that I like I will respond to them as well, maybe not in the same way as those whose personalities I am more familiar with.
If someone wants to be a regular all they have to do is post on a regular basis, I mean have a look at the join dates of the people who post here, we didn't all join at the same time, people come and people go.
The one thing I think we all have in common here is respect in all it's forms, and anyone not showing respect will probably get jumped on.
If the HT was really cliquee then very few questions would be answered unless they were posted by regulars. This place thrives on new questions and therefore new people.

 

[Norajane]

Yeah, but I'd never invite you into my house because you'd be offended by my husband's masturbatory habits.

And you're apparently anti-bisexual.

I'll bet you're shocked to find me on a porn board!

 

[Eilan]

I'll bet you're shocked to find me on a porn board!

Hypocrite.

 

[Quoll]

The How to : Bring the lurkers out of hiding thread gives a fairly good indication of how this forum is seen by those who do not post on a regular basis.

 

[pleasteasme]

I think I had been here for about 3 or 4 months before getting my first PM, I got two on the same day, I nearly shit myself.

As for the clique thing, I don't buy it at all, yes I am a regular here and I have a lot of fun posting with the other regulars. Why? Because they post more often (hence the title regular). Mind you if someone who is not so regular makes a post that I like I will respond to them as well, maybe not in the same way as those whose personalities I am more familiar with.
If someone wants to be a regular all they have to do is post on a regular basis, I mean have a look at the join dates of the people who post here, we didn't all join at the same time, people come and people go.
The one thing I think we all have in common here is respect in all it's forms, and anyone not showing respect will probably get jumped on.
If the HT was really cliquee then very few questions would be answered unless they were posted by regulars. This place thrives on new questions and therefore new people.

I find the entire group/forum dynamic amazing. That is, all of the forums here. Sometimes, I just lurk and read because I find people fascinating. One of the more interesting facets of the HT & Cafe are the people that drop in from time to time...not the regulars. I mean the hardcore GB types that will stop by and ask for advice; genuinely. This is an absolutely amazing interaction to me!

I don't consider myself a "regular" by any means because quite honestly when it comes to advice (especially about relationships and such) I am sooo, NOT the person to be doling out advice! I tend to read more than I give. I do much better with banter and being silly.

However, being here allows me some introspection and I learn so very much from reading about other people and their trials and tribulations. Perhaps, someday I will be able to use all of this newly acquired relationship knowledge.

 

[Quoll]

I find the entire group/forum dynamic amazing. That is, all of the forums here. Sometimes, I just lurk and read because I find people fascinating. One of the more interesting facets of the HT & Cafe are the people that drop in from time to time...not the regulars. I mean the hardcore GB types that will stop by and ask for advice; genuinely. This is an absolutely amazing interaction to me!

I don't consider myself a "regular" by any means because quite honestly when it comes to advice (especially about relationships and such) I am sooo, NOT the person to be doling out advice! I tend to read more than I give. I do much better with banter and being silly.

However, being here allows me some introspection and I learn so very much from reading about other people and their trials and tribulations. Perhaps, someday I will be able to use all of this newly acquired relationship knowledge.

I used to lurk on pretty much any forum I came across, I found them utterly fascinating, but lit was the only one that I really felt I wanted to be a part of.

I see you as a regular (flirt) here, you post often, you give your opinions and share your experiences, what else do you need to do.

 

[bobsgirl]

I find the entire group/forum dynamic amazing. That is, all of the forums here. Sometimes, I just lurk and read because I find people fascinating. One of the more interesting facets of the HT & Cafe are the people that drop in from time to time...not the regulars. I mean the hardcore GB types that will stop by and ask for advice; genuinely. This is an absolutely amazing interaction to me!

I don't consider myself a "regular" by any means because quite honestly when it comes to advice (especially about relationships and such) I am sooo, NOT the person to be doling out advice! I tend to read more than I give. I do much better with banter and being silly.

However, being here allows me some introspection and I learn so very much from reading about other people and their trials and tribulations. Perhaps, someday I will be able to use all of this newly acquired relationship knowledge.

You actually start threads on the GB! Did it take you long to feel comfortable there?

Oh, yeah. Whaddya mean, you don't consider yourself a regular?

 

[pleasteasme]

I used to lurk on pretty much any forum I came across, I found them utterly fascinating, but lit was the only one that I really felt I wanted to be a part of.

I see you as a regular (flirt) here, you post often, you give your opinions and share your experiences, what else do you need to do.

Thanks quoll

You actually start threads on the GB! Did it take you long to feel comfortable there?

Oh, yeah. Whaddya mean, you don't consider yourself a regular?

That I do. Funny thing, way back when in 2001 when I joined, I started out on the GB! There was a time that I didn't come to Lit when I was finishing up college and my credential...no time! Then I came back and was in the PG for a while with little day trips to the GB.

I don't know that you can ever feel comfortable there, lol

I guess, what I meant by that "regular" part was that I don't contribute any wisdom, just me being silly and as quoll pointed out, being a flirt.

Although, I am in this secret society....

 

[EJFan]

Although, I am in this secret society....

i'm actually contemplating a sex change just so i can join.

yes. it's that damned alluring!