What feeds your soul?

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Bobmi357
Ok I'm gonna get shameless here and toot my own horn, but hey, its a goooood feeling to toot your horn once in a while.

Last week my webhost decided our server needed to be retired. So they relocated us to a new box and in the process wrecked some 11 years of custom programmed software. Due to time constraints and another job I wasn't able to get to our software until today.

Now I haven't gotten everything working again, but I did manage to get our main program online for our subscriber base. Only 3 lines of code needed to be changed across 5 code modules. Out of nearly 18,000 lines of code. Only 3 needed changing.

Damn I'm good

Yeah usually we do the tooting for you. Want a little tug too Bob?

*seriously though...way to go!*

 

[jacuzzigal]

sleeping in

 

[CoyoteTales]

Shadowcasting.

...and an anniversary of sorts.

A year ago tomorrow, I chose to step out into what others might consider a 'dark place'; outed myself, relatively speaking, as an admitted reader of things most laviscious, and, for whatever reason, in a large part of our society, forbidden.

I invited myself to dance, and the year that followed was ever different than the ones that came before it. I crossed paths with a whole bunch of people that I'd never known before, and I let some of the things I learned add new experiences to my personal story, and found things to laugh about. A lot.

Mind, I wasn't laughing at anyone -- hardly that -- derisive laughter is reserved for the things that you cannot change and also dislike; rather, it was the laughter of an epiphany found, a joy expressed and shared, or a truly good joke.

When we are young, someone inevitably tells us about a treasure, and gives us a map to follow. Sometimes the treasure at the end is worthless, other times there's nothing at all. But the journey is there, too, the fun part; conjure to mind with me a child, putting one foot in front of the other, counting out the paces in some attempt to make the span of a juvenile foot match the stride length of an adult; excitedly pointing out the next landmark ('Look! A rock that looks like the Pope's hat!') and then the inevitable digging, while watching out for the neighbor's dog.

What is treasure? Is it that which other people value? Or is it that which you place value upon? One man's junk, as the saying goes.

How often do you ask yourself, 'what do I place value on? What lights my days when I have it at hand?'

I realize now that I've been looking away from the light a little too long; living in the shadow of myself, and seeing only the darkness instead of the light. (with a quiet nod to an erstwhile sensei) You'll never reach the shore by placing the lighthouse at your back.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about today.

Last week, I found another good epiphany; drives to work seem to be good for thinking and bad for writing things down. I realized that I am, in fact, a sexually aware creature, and my instincts are part of my sensory package. As much as I see color, hear music, and smell pizza, I have a mind that percieves my sexuality, and integrates the signals that I pick up from my world (such as it is) and folds it into my experiences.

And I realized just how Okay it was to like what I liked -- just as much as it's okay to like eating certain foods, or listen to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of books -- this is, and will always be in opposition to folks who have *their own identities* and likes and dislikes. Should I let President George Bush Sr's hatred of broccoli prevent me from liking the stuff with alfredo sauce and chicken? Hell no. Should I let others' perceptions of me, a long-haired, soft-voiced, skinny fella of a coyote, alternately persuade me that I am, in fact, homosexual, or unattractive to women?

Hell no.

I am who I am, and who I am changes based on what things I take into myself, learn about myself, and change about my practices and my perceptions.

When I -let someone else- tell me what I am, I allow them to control my path, and make me into something they see me as -- creating a personal identity dissonance that makes me question myself. And questioning myself leads to doubt, based on the -external facts placed upon my head by someone else-, and everything can spin out of control from there, if you're not careful.

If you haven't asked yourself, 'Am I..?' lately, I suggest you do it now.

This self awareness comes with a day, a week, a month, a year, and a lifetime of refining. Maybe you can't change something today, but tomorrow ought to be different. Or the day after that. One foot in front of the other.

The treasure awaits. *quiet cough* The pleasure awaits. (Wouldn't it be sad if you learned that there was no more joy to be had in your future, ever again?) Darnit, we all have a right to be happy, and how we get there is up to us -- because if we don't fight to be happy on our own terms, we get what someone else thinks will make us happy.

Um. Getting off the soapbox.

I percieved myself as a sexual creature, and I stopped feeling guilty and self-conscious for that moment, and several after that.

So maybe I'm not physically active right now. So maybe I'm being utterly consumed by my work at the moment, and not thinking about being here very often; nor am I reading regularly, or writing regularly as I aspired to do last year, and I certainly haven't gotten anything published yet.

That doesn't change who I am, or what I have inside of me, or what I -can- do given the mind to do it.

It just takes a mind and a moment and an opportunity to do so. The epiphany happened roughly two weeks ago, but I couldn't find the words until now. I just had to keep thinking about doing it until the words came.

And you know what?

That works for just about any other skill you can name, sexual or not. True, we have our limitations, but many of them can be overcome by exerting an effort to be more -- and be There.

We only lose the skills we forget; we only forget when we cease to think about things now and again. We never gain any skills we do not choose to practice and perhaps fail at, at first.

We are never left behind, except for when we believe we cannot catch up.

In life, we have moments where we see the road ahead clearly. In death, there may be nothing to see -- so we ought to go see what we can, when we can, while we can.

Well, as long as it doesn't get us thrown in jail, or killed, anyway.

I chose to dance, a year ago tomorrow, and I choose to dance again, whenever I hear the music.

Do you hear the music with me?

If not -- you just have to listen.

Enjoy. Believe. And when the time is right? Do.

-CoyoteTales, for a moment, feeling right as rain again.

 

[Eilan]

Cathleen, thanks for the welcome. De-lurking feels good!!


WFMS today. . .

Time spent with loved ones that I haven't seen for a while.

Seeing others "blossom."

 

[Feistyred16]

Re: Shadowcasting.

...and an anniversary of sorts.

A year ago tomorrow, I chose to step out into what others might consider a 'dark place'; outed myself, relatively speaking, as an admitted reader of things most laviscious, and, for whatever reason, in a large part of our society, forbidden.

I invited myself to dance, and the year that followed was ever different than the ones that came before it. I crossed paths with a whole bunch of people that I'd never known before, and I let some of the things I learned add new experiences to my personal story, and found things to laugh about. A lot.

Mind, I wasn't laughing at anyone -- hardly that -- derisive laughter is reserved for the things that you cannot change and also dislike; rather, it was the laughter of an epiphany found, a joy expressed and shared, or a truly good joke.

When we are young, someone inevitably tells us about a treasure, and gives us a map to follow. Sometimes the treasure at the end is worthless, other times there's nothing at all. But the journey is there, too, the fun part; conjure to mind with me a child, putting one foot in front of the other, counting out the paces in some attempt to make the span of a juvenile foot match the stride length of an adult; excitedly pointing out the next landmark ('Look! A rock that looks like the Pope's hat!') and then the inevitable digging, while watching out for the neighbor's dog.

What is treasure? Is it that which other people value? Or is it that which you place value upon? One man's junk, as the saying goes.

How often do you ask yourself, 'what do I place value on? What lights my days when I have it at hand?'

I realize now that I've been looking away from the light a little too long; living in the shadow of myself, and seeing only the darkness instead of the light. (with a quiet nod to an erstwhile sensei) You'll never reach the shore by placing the lighthouse at your back.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about today.

Last week, I found another good epiphany; drives to work seem to be good for thinking and bad for writing things down. I realized that I am, in fact, a sexually aware creature, and my instincts are part of my sensory package. As much as I see color, hear music, and smell pizza, I have a mind that percieves my sexuality, and integrates the signals that I pick up from my world (such as it is) and folds it into my experiences.

And I realized just how Okay it was to like what I liked -- just as much as it's okay to like eating certain foods, or listen to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of books -- this is, and will always be in opposition to folks who have *their own identities* and likes and dislikes. Should I let President George Bush Sr's hatred of broccoli prevent me from liking the stuff with alfredo sauce and chicken? Hell no. Should I let others' perceptions of me, a long-haired, soft-voiced, skinny fella of a coyote, alternately persuade me that I am, in fact, homosexual, or unattractive to women?

Hell no.

I am who I am, and who I am changes based on what things I take into myself, learn about myself, and change about my practices and my perceptions.

When I -let someone else- tell me what I am, I allow them to control my path, and make me into something they see me as -- creating a personal identity dissonance that makes me question myself. And questioning myself leads to doubt, based on the -external facts placed upon my head by someone else-, and everything can spin out of control from there, if you're not careful.

If you haven't asked yourself, 'Am I..?' lately, I suggest you do it now.

This self awareness comes with a day, a week, a month, a year, and a lifetime of refining. Maybe you can't change something today, but tomorrow ought to be different. Or the day after that. One foot in front of the other.

The treasure awaits. *quiet cough* The pleasure awaits. (Wouldn't it be sad if you learned that there was no more joy to be had in your future, ever again?) Darnit, we all have a right to be happy, and how we get there is up to us -- because if we don't fight to be happy on our own terms, we get what someone else thinks will make us happy.

Um. Getting off the soapbox.

I percieved myself as a sexual creature, and I stopped feeling guilty and self-conscious for that moment, and several after that.

So maybe I'm not physically active right now. So maybe I'm being utterly consumed by my work at the moment, and not thinking about being here very often; nor am I reading regularly, or writing regularly as I aspired to do last year, and I certainly haven't gotten anything published yet.

That doesn't change who I am, or what I have inside of me, or what I -can- do given the mind to do it.

It just takes a mind and a moment and an opportunity to do so. The epiphany happened roughly two weeks ago, but I couldn't find the words until now. I just had to keep thinking about doing it until the words came.

And you know what?

That works for just about any other skill you can name, sexual or not. True, we have our limitations, but many of them can be overcome by exerting an effort to be more -- and be There.

We only lose the skills we forget; we only forget when we cease to think about things now and again. We never gain any skills we do not choose to practice and perhaps fail at, at first.

We are never left behind, except for when we believe we cannot catch up.

In life, we have moments where we see the road ahead clearly. In death, there may be nothing to see -- so we ought to go see what we can, when we can, while we can.

Well, as long as it doesn't get us thrown in jail, or killed, anyway.

I chose to dance, a year ago tomorrow, and I choose to dance again, whenever I hear the music.

Do you hear the music with me?

If not -- you just have to listen.

Enjoy. Believe. And when the time is right? Do.

-CoyoteTales, for a moment, feeling right as rain again.

I'm speechless, not something that happens often.

Somehow you have put to paper(screen) some of what I've been feeling lately.

Thank you Coyote
A hug & for you!

 

[babydoll2u]

WOW... Coyote, that is awesome...
whew, makes one stop and think... about alot

 

[sailorswife22]

Him wanting me to take care of myself first.

 

[someplace]

Re: Shadowcasting.

...and an anniversary of sorts.

A year ago tomorrow, I chose to step out into what others might consider a 'dark place'; outed myself, relatively speaking, as an admitted reader of things most laviscious, and, for whatever reason, in a large part of our society, forbidden.

I invited myself to dance, and the year that followed was ever different than the ones that came before it. I crossed paths with a whole bunch of people that I'd never known before, and I let some of the things I learned add new experiences to my personal story, and found things to laugh about. A lot.

Mind, I wasn't laughing at anyone -- hardly that -- derisive laughter is reserved for the things that you cannot change and also dislike; rather, it was the laughter of an epiphany found, a joy expressed and shared, or a truly good joke.

When we are young, someone inevitably tells us about a treasure, and gives us a map to follow. Sometimes the treasure at the end is worthless, other times there's nothing at all. But the journey is there, too, the fun part; conjure to mind with me a child, putting one foot in front of the other, counting out the paces in some attempt to make the span of a juvenile foot match the stride length of an adult; excitedly pointing out the next landmark ('Look! A rock that looks like the Pope's hat!') and then the inevitable digging, while watching out for the neighbor's dog.

What is treasure? Is it that which other people value? Or is it that which you place value upon? One man's junk, as the saying goes.

How often do you ask yourself, 'what do I place value on? What lights my days when I have it at hand?'

I realize now that I've been looking away from the light a little too long; living in the shadow of myself, and seeing only the darkness instead of the light. (with a quiet nod to an erstwhile sensei) You'll never reach the shore by placing the lighthouse at your back.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about today.

Last week, I found another good epiphany; drives to work seem to be good for thinking and bad for writing things down. I realized that I am, in fact, a sexually aware creature, and my instincts are part of my sensory package. As much as I see color, hear music, and smell pizza, I have a mind that percieves my sexuality, and integrates the signals that I pick up from my world (such as it is) and folds it into my experiences.

And I realized just how Okay it was to like what I liked -- just as much as it's okay to like eating certain foods, or listen to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of books -- this is, and will always be in opposition to folks who have *their own identities* and likes and dislikes. Should I let President George Bush Sr's hatred of broccoli prevent me from liking the stuff with alfredo sauce and chicken? Hell no. Should I let others' perceptions of me, a long-haired, soft-voiced, skinny fella of a coyote, alternately persuade me that I am, in fact, homosexual, or unattractive to women?

Hell no.

I am who I am, and who I am changes based on what things I take into myself, learn about myself, and change about my practices and my perceptions.

When I -let someone else- tell me what I am, I allow them to control my path, and make me into something they see me as -- creating a personal identity dissonance that makes me question myself. And questioning myself leads to doubt, based on the -external facts placed upon my head by someone else-, and everything can spin out of control from there, if you're not careful.

If you haven't asked yourself, 'Am I..?' lately, I suggest you do it now.

This self awareness comes with a day, a week, a month, a year, and a lifetime of refining. Maybe you can't change something today, but tomorrow ought to be different. Or the day after that. One foot in front of the other.

The treasure awaits. *quiet cough* The pleasure awaits. (Wouldn't it be sad if you learned that there was no more joy to be had in your future, ever again?) Darnit, we all have a right to be happy, and how we get there is up to us -- because if we don't fight to be happy on our own terms, we get what someone else thinks will make us happy.

Um. Getting off the soapbox.

I percieved myself as a sexual creature, and I stopped feeling guilty and self-conscious for that moment, and several after that.

So maybe I'm not physically active right now. So maybe I'm being utterly consumed by my work at the moment, and not thinking about being here very often; nor am I reading regularly, or writing regularly as I aspired to do last year, and I certainly haven't gotten anything published yet.

That doesn't change who I am, or what I have inside of me, or what I -can- do given the mind to do it.

It just takes a mind and a moment and an opportunity to do so. The epiphany happened roughly two weeks ago, but I couldn't find the words until now. I just had to keep thinking about doing it until the words came.

And you know what?

That works for just about any other skill you can name, sexual or not. True, we have our limitations, but many of them can be overcome by exerting an effort to be more -- and be There.

We only lose the skills we forget; we only forget when we cease to think about things now and again. We never gain any skills we do not choose to practice and perhaps fail at, at first.

We are never left behind, except for when we believe we cannot catch up.

In life, we have moments where we see the road ahead clearly. In death, there may be nothing to see -- so we ought to go see what we can, when we can, while we can.

Well, as long as it doesn't get us thrown in jail, or killed, anyway.

I chose to dance, a year ago tomorrow, and I choose to dance again, whenever I hear the music.

Do you hear the music with me?

If not -- you just have to listen.

Enjoy. Believe. And when the time is right? Do.

-CoyoteTales, for a moment, feeling right as rain again.

I quote above (again) because I must tell you how much this spoke to me today. You see, I've just returned from the final prouncement of my divorce after four and a half long bitter years of fighting. It is done. A door has shut and another one has opened. Your post reaffirms and prods me to be there and be more of me for me. Thank you sooooo much for sharing yourself with us. You are such an inspiration and a gift. Be very well.

 

[sailorswife22]

That there are people in this wolrd who know how the true value of a friend...

That in the darkest of hours there are a select few who don't mind if you cry on their shoulder...

That although love may not conquor all, it sure as hell will give you a run for your money.

 

[CoyoteTales]

Re: Re: Shadowcasting.

I quote above (again) because I must tell you how much this spoke to me today. You see, I've just returned from the final prouncement of my divorce after four and a half long bitter years of fighting. It is done. A door has shut and another one has opened. Your post reaffirms and prods me to be there and be more of me for me. Thank you sooooo much for sharing yourself with us. You are such an inspiration and a gift. Be very well.

You are welcome. And congratulations on escaping - because it is an escape. And moreover -- an escape back into being you again. I'm sorry for you that it took as long as it did; in this case the destination is definitely the more important point.

And today was even better than the day I wrote that.

*quiet blush and a nod to Feistyred and babydoll2u* I think I found my tongue again. It was right where I left it.

-CT

 

[wicked woman]

WFMS

Hearing fabulous news from a dear friend...even if it's at cross purposes to a hope for myself.

 

[SweetErika]

Making chocolate chip cookies for my students and hubby, just like my mom and I did for her students when I was growing up.

 

[sailorswife22]

Hearing the words, "I love you"

 

[Quoll]

Webcams.
Why they affect me that way, who knows, just know it`s a good thing.

 

[MiloDRemix]

Big & Rich feed my soul.
http://wbrnashville.fanpimp.com/big...seaction=tools.invlink&u=TaniaRides&linkID=10

http://wbrnashville.fanpimp.com/big...seaction=tools.invlink&u=TaniaRides&linkID=11

 

[sailorswife22]

Late night talks

 

[lisasmurf]

i'm a little lose

a good last night show and a lover sleeping next to me........

surf eBay to see if i can bed on a soul!

then i be able to give a better answer
like another post said i have to sleep on it and come back!

 

[Mermaid]

Love.

Intimate chats.

People who stay.

The most perfect dance connection...

Music.

 

[Eilan]

What will be feeding my soul in about five minutes. . .

A nice hot tub, candlelight, and good conversation with my husband.

 

[Cathleen]

WFMS....

* Kindness and support to carry me through a very difficult time today, the comfort I felt fed my soul.

 

[Guest]

 

[Graciee]

Simple things feed my soul...

- my family
- my friends
- my cats
- music
- a walk by the beach
- a sunny day
- a drive in the country
- love
- laughter
- watching a thunderstorm/snowstorm
- sleeping in
- reading
- sitting at a cafe
- hugs

 

[original_cinnamon]

This is such an amazing thread... keep coming back to read more of it!

So, what feeds my soul? Short list -

* Time spent by myself, just me and the Universe. Clean, beautiful, uninterrupted.

* Choosing to share that time with someone else

* Getting It Right. Hey, it doesn't happen often....

There's so much more, and I'm going to be looking out for things now!

Cin xx

 

[curious2c]

My little man and his unconditional love for his poppa...*sigh* Two years old and he seems to know when poppa needs some TLC without anything being said.

 

[Cathleen]

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you, my friend.


WFMS?
Knowing I have done everything I can do. I have no regrets and a clear conscience.

A friend like you feeds my soul VG, thank you.

It's nice to see some new folks on the thread, it helps remind me to look for the obvious.

WFMS.....

* That people I love have returned home - safe and secure.

* Funny friends, roaring laughter.

* Progress.