What ignited that first spark in you?

[norseprince]

My experience

When i was a young boy, my sister and her friends would get me to undress for them. Later, they would dress me in girl's clothes. They would also make fun at my size (i am small down there), and have me masturbate for them.

At 19, i met a girl and we started dating. The first time we undressed to make love, she looked at it, touched it, then held it in her hand, looked me in the eye, and said "not much of a man, are we?'. i should have been insulted, but was sooo turned on by her remark. W/we married, and i was her slave for 8 years, until She decided to move on.

 

[Soron]

I actually posted to this subject a few years back. My girlfriend and I, seniors in high school at the time, skipped class and spent the day at her house. I always had to be in control when the proverbial lights went out. That day though, she was acting a bit feisty, and I warned her that I'd take her over my lap and spank her if she didn't calm down. It was all in fun at that time, but it begot a pervert. After that, I not only wanted to be in control, I LOVED spanking that bottom too.

 

[Soulfiregirl]

Originally posted by rakastuja

Sorry for loong post [/B]

Nothin' wrong with long posts! (thanks for sharing guys....this has turned out to be an interesting thread....keep sharing if ya want ta....)

 

[psychone]

A few years ago when technically a little on the young side I started to look at porn sites on occasion. This gradually lead to looking at some of the more bdsm-type sites I could find with me thinking 'some of this looks fun.'

A period after that I met someone, things progressed and we talked about stuff we'd like to try. Turns out some of the ideas I had picked up were things we both wanted. From there it rolled into motion.

The sex we'd been having was a little rough (teeth marks, with broken skin) from the start before we talked of bondage and things. Also I have always had slightly unusual pain tolerances.

 

[sigsauerprinces]

the first thing i can consciouisly remember (although it may go back earlier than this) is being 8 years old and reading Salem's Lot by Steven King, which in case you dont know is about vampires. the scenes where vampires came and bit their victims always gave me nice funny feelings inside, and i'd read those scenes over and over again..when i was done with the book i'd fantasize that a vampire would come to my window and i'd let him bite me (and do other things as well). thats my first memory of any kind of power/danger/pain turning me on

 

[Desdemona]

the first thing i can consciouisly remember (although it may go back earlier than this) is being 8 years old and reading Salem's Lot by Steven King, which in case you dont know is about vampires. the scenes where vampires came and bit their victims always gave me nice funny feelings inside, and i'd read those scenes over and over again..when i was done with the book i'd fantasize that a vampire would come to my window and i'd let him bite me (and do other things as well). thats my first memory of any kind of power/danger/pain turning me on

Holy crap! I had the same reaction to that book. LOL

 

[arctic-stranger]

....Salem's Lot by Steven King, which in case you dont know is about vampires. the scenes where vampires came and bit their victims always gave me nice funny feelings inside, and i'd read those scenes over and over again

this was not really my start--perhaps my pre-start, but when reading anne rice i got some very intense reactions. I had to put the book down, because the eroticism of the vampires was really disturbing me. I was not into the being the victim of the bite, as you were, and at the time i did want to admit that being on the dull side of the fangs was appealing, but now...

btw, i am not particularly drawn to vampires, or vampire stories, and dont see myself dressing in black and playing vampire games...but anne rice sure put a bug up my ass, which i completely forgot until i read your post

 

[the_bean]

I also had some interesting reactions when I first delved into the world of fantasy and horror. While I am not a vampire-wanna-be, the thought of allowing someone entrance to the safety of my personal space to take me in so many unnatural ways is exciting.

And have any of you seen Labyrinth? While David Bowie is not all that particularly attractive (though I do so love him), the part where he tells Sarah, "Love me, fear me, do as I say and I will be your slave." OMG. I was so young and I wanted to hear someone say something like that to me so badly. I always wanted to love someone enough to do everything they said, and to fear them without being "afraid" (which is what.. respect?).

I know a large part of me is my need to have a father-figure. I won't get into sobby details - I wasn't molested (that I can remember) by anyone, but the male-models in my life have been shaky at best, thanks to my Mother and her whims. I've always had my "Dad", my "Father" has been there sometimes, and then there are all those other men my mother brought in and out. While my "Dad" will always be my "Dad", he can't give me what I really want.

I want a Daddy. I need a Daddy. I am so desperate to be that little princess, to be special, to be adored. And while I feel that constant need, there is nothing quite like being reprimanded. I will admit that sometimes I can get a little snotty because I know that I'll get punished. But what is that punishment really but more attention from the man I long for the most.

 

[darkgoddess2478]

My Introduction

I was first introduced into the lifestyle by a friend of mine. (her story as to how she got into BDSM is great!)

Like others, mine was through the internet. I was chatting with a guy online... and he was irritating me. Mystie and I always had a habit of sending snippets of conversation to one another when we were bored or when something really funny happened. So I sent her parts of this conversation. She laughed at me. And then started telling me things to say to him.

They were absolutely terrible!

He absolutely loved it.

By the end of the conversation, I was forwarding my comments along with his instead of following prompts that Mystie had given me, he was on his knees and begging me to collar him. Someone could have breathed in my ear and made me cum.

I've not looked back since. I now have two collared slaves and a rather submissive hubby.

I love reading about everyone's experiences. This is an awesome board.

 

[darkgoddess2478]

the scenes where vampires came and bit their victims always gave me nice funny feelings inside, and i'd read those scenes over and over again..

this was not really my start--perhaps my pre-start, but when reading anne rice i got some very intense reactions. I had to put the book down, because the eroticism of the vampires was really disturbing me.

I'm glad that I am not alone in finding vampires erotic. Although depending on the mythos, it could be rather disturbing... such as those that were more like rotting corpses than just well preserved beauty queens. I'm not really into necrophelia... *grins*

 

[sigsauerprinces]

Holy crap! I had the same reaction to that book. LOL

how old wer eyou when you read it? (if you dont mind me asking).

its cool to know i wasnt the only one who reacted that way to that book. i dont know, steven king just has a way with words....my reading material wasnt censored when i was a kid and i read all kinds of stuff. although i liked the whole vampire thing at the time, i think for probably a year or so after i read that book, with time that faded a bit and today vampires arent any fetish of mine or anything...but when i started exploring bdsm i started thinking back, looking for that first time i felt attracted to danger/power, and what i remember is reading that book and wishing so badly that a vampire would come to my window...bite me and do whatever he wanted with me i can see why others still find vampires erotic tho, too. theres something very sensual/powerful about them.

 

[lindiana]

Sparks!

My father was soooo dominant growing up. As an adult, my four siblings would dismiss him when he asked them to do something. But I would always do it. I loved to serve and take care of him. It wasnt sexual in the least but I love him and it was the least I could do.

I am very controlling myself and switched for years. But I never felt comfortable dominating men. I realized it was because I dont find submissive men exciting (sorry boys). I love big powerful men who make me feel like a woman.

And now, here I am.

 

[Marquis]

Re: Sparks!

I love big powerful men who make me feel like a woman.

Where's RJ?

 

[Aeroil]

Re: Sparks!

My father was soooo dominant growing up. As an adult, my four siblings would dismiss him when he asked them to do something. But I would always do it. I loved to serve and take care of him. It wasnt sexual in the least but I love him and it was the least I could do.

I am very controlling myself and switched for years. But I never felt comfortable dominating men. I realized it was because I dont find submissive men exciting (sorry boys). I love big powerful men who make me feel like a woman.

And now, here I am.

you don't think subs can be powerful lindiana? Maybe you mean just very controlling, not powerful.

 

[jkitten]

I had a number of things that lead me down that path: For one, I read a book when I was at the -most- 10, called The Reincarnation of Peter Proud. There's a scene in which he comes in from a swim, and he's naked-- he ends up shaking his hips and his hard-on slaps against his skin, and it goes into -great- detail about the redness of his cock, etc. This was -all- new to me, and fascinating. Anyway, after this he ends up throwing down his wife and raping her. It was the only sex scene I had (my reading materials generally -were- censored, and this was the one 'racy' scene in the book), and I ended up reading it again and again.

Also, the first boy I ever slept with was very rough, and though I never liked the sex he did once push me against a wall, hard, and kiss me-- and god that was hot.

I've always been into vampires and neckbiting, and I always did beg my ex-husband to "fuck me so hard it hurts".

I also agree with an earlier poster who said they'd always wanted to please others just to be sure they liked them. It's why my first actual turn-on in the bedroom was giving head. Yum!

 

[Liana26]

When I was maybe about seven, me and my friend Jenna used to pretend that she was my older brother and I was her bad little sister who always had to be punished by being spanked, tied up, pinched, etc.

Me and another friend used to pretend that we had a sadistic babysitter that was always beating us and making us do chores.

And the best was when I got a *little* older, like maybe 10, and me and my friend Jessica used to play all kinds of twisted games. One I remember in particular was that we were sisters and our father, the bar-owner, used to prostitute us to his customers and make us walk around without shirts.

Jessica and I sort of grew apart, but we were best friends for years and looking back on it, she must have some BDSM tendencies. I know she turned out to be a bisexual, which I always suspected when I was little, even though I didn't really know what it was. I'll have to get in touch with her later and ask because now I'm curious.

But when I actually found out that BDSM existed, it was when I was watching Robinhood Men in Tights at age 14 for about the millionth time and I started to like the idea of that chastity belt Maid Marian wore. So I did some google searches, stumbled upon Altairboy's website, clicked on "Fiction", and I suddenly had a new hobby. Of course I didn't start practicing until about four months ago at age 18.

Isn't it strange looking back on your childhood and realizing how sexual you were? I've never been molested or raped or anything like that, so I guess it's just natural in a strange psychological way to have thoughts like that.

 

[Marquis]

Isn't it strange looking back on your childhood and realizing how sexual you were?

No, I think it's strange how much child-like play we mix into our adult sex lives.

 

[jkitten]

When I was maybe about seven, me and my friend Jenna used to pretend that she was my older brother and I was her bad little sister who always had to be punished by being spanked, tied up, pinched, etc.

Me and another friend used to pretend that we had a sadistic babysitter that was always beating us and making us do chores.

And the best was when I got a *little* older, like maybe 10, and me and my friend Jessica used to play all kinds of twisted games. One I remember in particular was that we were sisters and our father, the bar-owner, used to prostitute us to his customers and make us walk around without shirts.

Isn't it strange looking back on your childhood and realizing how sexual you were?

Wow, some of that brings back memories. A gal who used to spend the night & I played a game where I was the wife asleep in bed, and she was my drunken husband, climbing on top and having sex with his passed-out wife. The funny thing was, neither of us was quite 10 years old, and neither of us had parents who even -drank- or were abusive. I'm fairly certain the idea was mine, too, and I remember it as being incredibly squirmy-yum. I'd lie there, very still, while she would climb on top of me, lightly grinding against me in the process, and then kiss on my mouth-- my job was to lie as -still- as possible, since I was "supposed" to be asleep. The idea was that, for whatever reason, the wife wouldn't -want- to have sex with the husband.

Another game, also before I turned 10 for sure, was with a boy, and part of it involved my "abusing" him. I'd "hit" on him, and often lightly pound on his boy-parts... I had to be careful there... sometimes I'd hit too hard, and he'd be really upset with me, but he -did- want me to "abuse" him. Kind of funny looking back, given how I tend to be highly submissive 99% of the time.

My first fantasies, on a sidenote, involved me kissing on some other girl, and when we were in bed I'd be on top of her, and it would turn out she had boy parts so it was "okay" for us to do stuff. I didn't even know that boyparts went inside girlparts-- I thought you were supposed to just rub up against them.

Ironically, I -highly- prefer Dommy men to women of any kind or subby men.

 

[mellian]

i first discovered bdsm on the internet at 16, which is when the 'spark' started in me. only first got into the local bdsm community two years ago at 19.

-mellian

 

[jkitten]

No, I think it's strange how much child-like play we mix into our adult sex lives.

I was sharing this with my Dom, and he said something I found really interesting:

I don't find this strange at all. A child's play differs from that of an adult's largely in terms of formality, not content.

For instance, kids and adults both run around playing with balls and sticks. Except kids just do it - adults set up baseball, or soccer, or whatever, and score points.

Kids play cops and robbers. Adults play Dungeons and Dragons, or paintball, or other imaginative play that has rules.

Kids play doctor, or the sort of games discussed here. Adults have BDSM protocols, among other formal types of sex play.

Growing up doesn't change what people want - just how they go about it.

 

[Marquis]

Android.

 

[jkitten]

Android.

I laughed so hard I started coughing... he laughed too. Thanks. ;D

 

[Desdemona]

how old wer eyou when you read it? (if you dont mind me asking).

No, I don't mind you asking. Um, it's been so long ago that I don't remember. I guess I was about 18. I read it the year it came out.

 

[sigsauerprinces]

Isn't it strange looking back on your childhood and realizing how sexual you were? I've never been molested or raped or anything like that, so I guess it's just natural in a strange psychological way to have thoughts like that.

i dont think its strange. our sexuality starts being "built" or developed the moment we're born and probably even before that...all our experiences contribute to it. children are sexual beings just as adults are, in a different way of course, but most children masturbate, some start quite young, and it doesnt mean they were molested or anything, it means they discovered wow, this feels kind of nice there's a fear of talking about the fact that children are sexual because of course no one wants them to be victimized, and parents want to see their children as "innocent". but i think we'd all be better off if it was just acknowledged as normal that children have sexual thoughts. it doesnt necessarily mean anythings wrong with them. BUT because they are seuxal like us doesnt mean that anyone has a right to victimize them. ideally theyre left alone and respected for who they are-human beings, and allowed to grow and develop, and explore their own sexuality at their own pace,whether that means playing doctor with friends or siblings, playing kidnapper and kidnap victim, or reading a book and wishing a vampire would come bite you and they should be able to do so without anyone forcing something on them that they dont want.

but then, society as a whole, especially western society, is all hung up about sex. i know adults who still giggle and blush when you talk about sex. it's so odd to me, its like theyre still back in the 7th grade mindset of "ohhh hahaha she said PENIS!". i think we could ALL stand to be a little more open and relaxed about sexuality. i never understood how something so natural, wonderful, and beautiful came to be considered so dirty, shameful, and dangerous.

 

[lindiana]

Re: Re: Sparks!

you don't think subs can be powerful lindiana? Maybe you mean just very controlling, not powerful.

Well, actually no.

Being a powerful submissive is an oxymoron.

Submission by definition means yielding, non-resistant, docile, humble, surrendering. I don't see how "power" could possibly fit into that.

The D/s and M/s relationship is a power exchange.
The submissive gives her/his power to their Dom/me.

Certainly a submissive can exude power, attempt to use their power or retake it. Usually that will result in one heck of a spanking.