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What made you laugh your ass off today?

President Bush, First Lady Laura and Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."

Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."

Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Shit, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy."




That did.
 
well, i'm more a moderate liberal, really but i also have some strong libertarian tendencies.

ed
 
The kind of letter every father dreads.

A couple got home to their big house in a leafy suburb.

They go in and call out for their only daughter, whose 18th birthday it was that day. No answer. So the father went upstairs to the daughter's bedroom and saw a letter on the bed. With the worst possible fears, he
read:

Dear Mum and Dad,
I'm sorry if it upsets you, but I've eloped with my new boyfriend. He is so nice, especially with all his piercings, tattoos, and his big motorbike.

But not only that, I'm pregnant and Ahmed says we'll be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He already has six children and wants to have many more with me.

I'm told that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends, who are already providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want.

We are both praying that science will find the cure for that 'social disease' so Ahmed gets better soon.

Don't worry about money, Ahmed has arranged for me to be in the films that his friends make in their basement. I can earn $50 a scene and I get a $50 bonus if there are more than three men involved, and an extra $100 if they use a horse.

Someday I'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your grandchildren and step-grandchildren.

Your loving daughter, Aimee

p.s. Dad, none of all that is true. I'm staying at Julie's house next-door. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than denting the car. Sorry about your Mercedes.
 
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is?
"Billy."
"And what is your question, Billy?"
"I have 4 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? And fourth, why are you so concerned about gay marriage when half of Americans don't have health insurance?"
Just then the bell rings for recess.
George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right - question time. Who has a question?"
Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is.
"Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"
"I have 6 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why are you so concerned about gay marriage when half of Americans don't have health insurance? Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And sixth, what the hell happened to Billy?"
 
midwestyankee said:
Grrrr.....must erase bookmark.....only 327 cartoons to go.
Click to expand...

Yes, Questionable Content is a very addicting comic. You just can't seem to stop reading it.

And MWY, did you just growl at me?!?!?!?
 
Sarojaede said:
Yes, Questionable Content is a very addicting comic. You just can't seem to stop reading it.

And MWY, did you just growl at me?!?!?!?
Click to expand...
Pay no attention to your perceptions...I was merely howling at the moon.
 
the other day i got a variety pack of dentyne gum at sam's. there are five flavors represented by 15 packs of gum. i was reading the ingredient list and commented to my uncle (who has the sam's membership) that they all contained sorbitol. he asked, as i'd hoped, what sorbitol was. my immediate (and planned) response was, "it's like a sponge... you use it when you spill something so it'll sorbitol."

*groan*
 
The little guy came in the room asking if we wanted to watch Scooby-doo with him.
When we said he could watch it in the office because we were on the computers, so he came in and said he was Scooby-doo, I could be Fred, and asked if SJ wanted to be Daphine. SJ repsonded that she wanted to be Velma to which the response was,
"She's the smart one and you will have to do all the science."
 
EJFan said:
my immediate (and planned) response was, "it's like a sponge... you use it when you spill something so it'll sorbitol."
Click to expand...
I think you could write entries for Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary. :)
 
EJFan said:
the other day i got a variety pack of dentyne gum at sam's. there are five flavors represented by 15 packs of gum. i was reading the ingredient list and commented to my uncle (who has the sam's membership) that they all contained sorbitol. he asked, as i'd hoped, what sorbitol was. my immediate (and planned) response was, "it's like a sponge... you use it when you spill something so it'll sorbitol."

*groan*
Click to expand...

*taking aim*

Boobie-swat for you, young man. ;)
 
When asked what our 5 year old did at the neighbor's this afternoon,
"We played boyfrined and girlfriend. I was the football player and she was the cheerleader."
 
Eilan's sig made me laugh so hard I cried, because it made me think of the time Cartman was convinced he had his period, and when he went to buy pads, the brand was, "Beaver Dam."
 
center_stage said:
Eilan's sig made me laugh so hard I cried, because it made me think of the time Cartman was convinced he had his period, and when he went to buy pads, the brand was, "Beaver Dam."
Click to expand...
I love South Park. It's one of my guilty pleasures. :D


What made me laugh today:

My three year old put on one of my bras and said, "Look, Mommy. I'm you!"
 
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