What made you laugh your ass off today?

[Saucyminx]

My husband is wearing a shirt with a small cigar-burn hole on the front, and our (still-unnamed) cockatiel is poking her beak through the hole and pulling out his chest hair.

If I had chest hair, I probably wouldn't be laughing about this.

LMAO--probably not.

I had a cup of coffee today at the coffee shop where i'm hoping to find gainful employment soon, that i thought was going to require me to shave my chest. Gee whiz, was that strong.

 

[midwestyankee]

For all my friends who consider themselves to be grammar geeks:

Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.

The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then he says, "This is powerful medicine but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!" The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?" The medicine man replies: "All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and it will go down. But be warned: It will not work again for another year."

Harry rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers and prowess. That night he is ready to surprise his wife. He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion and cologne. After he gets into bed and is lying next to her, he says, "123" and suddenly he becomes more aroused than anytime in his life, just as the medicine man had promised.

His wife, who had been facing away from him, turns over and asks, "What did you say 123 for?"

And now you know why you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition.

 

[silverwhisper]

[chuckles]

i love that one!

ed

 

[biggysmallz]

29 balls to the face in 28 seconds.

If you've ever seen America's Funniest Home Videos...you know what I'm talking about.

 

[Sarojaede]

hearing a three year old girl tell my 5 year old son..."oh look at that. we're all sticky. we're going to have to go take a shower now."

 

[silverwhisper]

bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

ed

 

[Sarojaede]

it was scarily funny.

the little girl told her father that she and my son were boyfriend and girlfriend.

my son insisted on explaining that he was the boyfriend and she was the girlfriend.

15 minutes later, she was dragging around her elmo "baby" and announced that my son was the father of her "baby".

 

[silverwhisper]

i'm picturing a mini-cardiac.

ed

 

[Sarojaede]

i'm picturing a mini-cardiac.

ed

yes, a mini-cardiac along with a serious snarfing of diet coke that had my eyes watering for a full 10 minutes.

 

[silverwhisper]

woo-hoo, snarfing!

ed

 

[silverwhisper]

right now: eviltwin.

ed

 

[Mazuri]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=424106153365164447&q=sex&hl=en

This video....no, it's not going to make anyone cringe, but it definitely made me laugh.

 

[Nightbird]

it was scarily funny.

the little girl told her father that she and my son were boyfriend and girlfriend.

my son insisted on explaining that he was the boyfriend and she was the girlfriend.

15 minutes later, she was dragging around her elmo "baby" and announced that my son was the father of her "baby".

OMG that should have had a spew alert!! That was sooooooooo funny.

 

[Quoll]

My 9 yo confronting the midwife who had put a hospital gown on LF, "Why is my brother wearing a dress?" "It's more of a nightshirt really." "Well it looks like a dress to me and I don't like it."

 

[tickletickle]

watching " the Curse of Mr Bean" bwahahahahahahahaha...i've probably watched the reruns kazillion times already. He cracked me up every single time.

 

[Guest]

 

[HindolumX]

My first pm, concerning a post I made, my first also. From dragonlady telling me, if you want to be a part of the D&D thread that is fine, if not Then shut the fuck up and get out and stop trashing it with dribble.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I've been working a ton of evenings and this week is no exception. Friday ngiht i was working at home, and my wife and I had spent then entire evening flirting and just doing those things that two people who love each other do. To her, that's foreplay. By the time I got done working I was hungry and tired, so we took a ride to Dairy Queen. As we waited in the drive through I told her I was just too tired to enjoy making love tonight, and I was sorry if I'd got her reved up for nothing, but that I would certainly be in the mood tomorrow, since I wasn't working. As the kid in the drive through opened the window she said "that's ok, I can live with 48 hours of foreplay."

The look on the poor kid's face was classic!

 

[Quoll]

Some excellent snark. Nice one Yank.

 

[Sarojaede]

OMG that should have had a spew alert!! That was sooooooooo funny.

Whooo hooo!!! I scored a virtual snarf.

 

[Sarojaede]

My 9 yo confronting the midwife who had put a hospital gown on LF, "Why is my brother wearing a dress?" "It's more of a nightshirt really." "Well it looks like a dress to me and I don't like it."

Oh god, quoll...that is too, too funny.

 

[midwestyankee]

From a friend in this morning's email:

Apple Computer reported today that it has developed a computer chip that can store music in women's breast implants.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

 

[bobsgirl]

From a friend in this morning's email:

Apple Computer reported today that it has developed a computer chip that can store music in women's breast implants.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

I don't have implants. Better add that to my to-do list.

 

[ntsu]

A man mistakenly took Viagra instead of his anti-depression medication and went fucking nuts.

 

[Nightbird]

THIS made me laugh my ass off.

I couldn't resist posting this before I went to bed.