What made you laugh your ass off today?
- Thread starter Eilan
- Start date
silverwhisper
just this guy, you know?
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- Mar 30, 2005
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- 11,319
[giggle]
ed
ed
silverwhisper
just this guy, you know?
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2005
- Posts
- 11,319
bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!
[trout-smacks SJ]
now now: you know that the ownership is inverted, SJ. we don't own the cats: they own us. :>
ed
[trout-smacks SJ]
now now: you know that the ownership is inverted, SJ. we don't own the cats: they own us. :>
ed
silverwhisper
just this guy, you know?
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2005
- Posts
- 11,319
er...laughter isn't the expected response, i wouldn't think.
just remember, if he becomes self-conscious later, it's all your fault!
ed
just remember, if he becomes self-conscious later, it's all your fault!
ed
I knew it wasn't going anywhere and did it just to drive her nuts.silverwhisper said:er...laughter isn't the expected response, i wouldn't think.
just remember, if he becomes self-conscious later, it's all your fault!
ed
And FYI, I have a damn fine ass.
EJFan
Absolute Genius
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2004
- Posts
- 6,591
a friend of mine was telling me about a trip she took to a haunted house with her husband. before entering they had to sign a waiver that included warnings about not touching the actors (it also had stuff about the building not being structurally sound and whatnot but i suspect some of that was for effect).
in the middle of the walk-through there was a section where an actor was in a cell begging to be helped out. he was reaching through the bars and speaking in a ghoulish voice, "please... help me out... please... i have to get out of here..." when my friend's husband said, "i wish i could, but i signed a waiver."
ya kinda had to be there but trust me when i say it was funny.
in the middle of the walk-through there was a section where an actor was in a cell begging to be helped out. he was reaching through the bars and speaking in a ghoulish voice, "please... help me out... please... i have to get out of here..." when my friend's husband said, "i wish i could, but i signed a waiver."
ya kinda had to be there but trust me when i say it was funny.
silverwhisper
just this guy, you know?
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rev: i don't doubt it for a moment. although you do realize that if you make a statement like that, there's a good chance people will ask you for corroborating evidence, right? :>
EJ: that was beautiful, dude. :>
ed
EJ: that was beautiful, dude. :>
ed
Quoll
Area 25
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2004
- Posts
- 10,886
Pay increase
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Response:
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other
locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in
order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the
assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Response:
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other
locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in
order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the
assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
I walked into the office and the little guy had Command & Conquer: Generals running. I watched him take a single tank and get shredded, so I asked him if I could use the mouse and proceeded to select 5 or so tanks and started looking at the map.
I clicked on a single unit for the tanks to attack when he took the mouse, "No daddy, you gotta do this." He proceeded to select the defend button and say, "It is the biggest and baddest...." He then centered the image on the enemy unit, and said in a drawn out fashion, "watch and learn."
I have been schooled by a 5 year old.
I clicked on a single unit for the tanks to attack when he took the mouse, "No daddy, you gotta do this." He proceeded to select the defend button and say, "It is the biggest and baddest...." He then centered the image on the enemy unit, and said in a drawn out fashion, "watch and learn."
I have been schooled by a 5 year old.
Last edited:
EJFan
Absolute Genius
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2004
- Posts
- 6,591
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! my friends know me so well...
A North Carolina redneck passed
away and left his entire estate in
trust for his beloved widow.
However, she can't touch it
until she turns 14.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Folks in Georgia now go to
some movies in groups of
18 or more. They were
told 17 and under are not
admitted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The minimum drinking age in
Tennessee has been raised to
32. It seems they want to keep
alcohol out of the high schools.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Mississippi, reruns of "Hee Haw"
are called documentaries.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How can you tell if a West Virginia
redneck is married? There's dried
tobacco spit on both sides of his
pickup truck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tennessee has a new $3,000,000
State Lottery. The winner gets $3 a
year for a million years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recently, the Governor's Mansion
in Little Rock burned down. In fact,
it took out the whole trailer park.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The best thing to ever come out
of Arkansas is Interstate 40.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(And my very favorite.........)
An Alabama State Trooper stopped a
pickup truck. He asked the driver,
"Got any ID?" The driver said,
"Bout what?"
A North Carolina redneck passed
away and left his entire estate in
trust for his beloved widow.
However, she can't touch it
until she turns 14.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Folks in Georgia now go to
some movies in groups of
18 or more. They were
told 17 and under are not
admitted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The minimum drinking age in
Tennessee has been raised to
32. It seems they want to keep
alcohol out of the high schools.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Mississippi, reruns of "Hee Haw"
are called documentaries.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How can you tell if a West Virginia
redneck is married? There's dried
tobacco spit on both sides of his
pickup truck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tennessee has a new $3,000,000
State Lottery. The winner gets $3 a
year for a million years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recently, the Governor's Mansion
in Little Rock burned down. In fact,
it took out the whole trailer park.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The best thing to ever come out
of Arkansas is Interstate 40.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(And my very favorite.........)
An Alabama State Trooper stopped a
pickup truck. He asked the driver,
"Got any ID?" The driver said,
"Bout what?"
Eilan
Absent(ish)
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2005
- Posts
- 10,431
This thread. Some of you will know why. 
midwestyankee
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2003
- Posts
- 32,076
The Halloween cartoon from Non Sequitur.
(If you see this after 10/31, you'll have to click to the cartoon for 10/31/06)
(If you see this after 10/31, you'll have to click to the cartoon for 10/31/06)
wicked woman
from my travels
- Joined
- May 3, 2003
- Posts
- 16,022
quoll said:
wow quoll...someone had time on their hands....and a lot of imagination
G
Guest
Guest
wicked woman
from my travels
- Joined
- May 3, 2003
- Posts
- 16,022
Scalywag said:
cool though wasn't it?
G
Guest
Guest
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wicked woman
from my travels
- Joined
- May 3, 2003
- Posts
- 16,022
Scalywag said:
fascinating....my youngest son has a degree in computer science...not graphics though. Yours must be creative.
silverwhisper
just this guy, you know?
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2005
- Posts
- 11,319
i'm just remembering a story about my little brother about which i must blog. :>
ed
ed
silverwhisper
just this guy, you know?
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2005
- Posts
- 11,319
easily the funniest thing i'm likely to see all day.
ed
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