What made you laugh your ass off today?
- Thread starter Eilan
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pleasteasme
*Endangered Species*
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oh.
dear.
god...
ROFLMAO!!!!
dear.
god...
ROFLMAO!!!!
PhilGarlic
Literotica Guru
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Text I received
Husdand grabs wife's ass saying "if you firm this up you can do away with your support knickers,
later he grabs her tummy saying "if you firm this up you can do away with your girdle"
later in bed he grabs her tits saying " if you firm these up you can do away with your bra"
She grabs his dick and says "if you firm this up I can do away with the milkman, paper boy, and your brother"
old I know but made me laugh.
Husdand grabs wife's ass saying "if you firm this up you can do away with your support knickers,
later he grabs her tummy saying "if you firm this up you can do away with your girdle"
later in bed he grabs her tits saying " if you firm these up you can do away with your bra"
She grabs his dick and says "if you firm this up I can do away with the milkman, paper boy, and your brother"
old I know but made me laugh.
Me too..... And Judd Nelson was such a hottie at the time. Look at him now 
EJFan
Absolute Genius
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"everything comes down to poo" from the musical episode of scrubs last night.
silverwhisper
just this guy, you know?
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yep, i'll second that. :>
ed
ed
Saucyminx
High heels and attitude
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holy moses!
My but that is a lovely snack you have in your av there BG. Wowee.
Qster--you kill me. I want a Fucking sign. Here i thought it was bad enough living near Lancaster county in PA with Intercourse, Blue Ball, Paradise, and Virginville. Not to mention Upper Leacock--we NEVER mention Upper Leacock or East Petersburg.
No really. See?
My but that is a lovely snack you have in your av there BG. Wowee.
Qster--you kill me. I want a Fucking sign. Here i thought it was bad enough living near Lancaster county in PA with Intercourse, Blue Ball, Paradise, and Virginville. Not to mention Upper Leacock--we NEVER mention Upper Leacock or East Petersburg.
No really. See?
ShinigamiSama
piecemaker
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I just had a midterm
I was laughing hysterically after it
more or less because I'm loopy and it scared the first years
I was laughing hysterically after it
more or less because I'm loopy and it scared the first years
SlickTony
Literotica Guru
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I so seldom get to have a good laugh. I don't think we lack for good material, so it must be me.
But I did hear something that got a loud snicker out of me, which I had to partially suppress, because I was listening to NPR with earbuds, and nobody would have known what I was laughing at.
This guy has written a book about autism, and he explored how autism was identified and treated in other cultures besides ours. In Korea, the mother is automatically blamed. In India, they are starting to be more enlightened. In Africa, a mother wanted to take her autistic child to a specialist, and she had to go around and around with her in-laws, who insisted that the child was possessed, and needed to be taken to a witch doctor. Finally the in-laws prevailed, and the child was taken to the witch doctor.
After the child had been with the witch doctor a couple of days, the witch doctor told the family, "This child has autism."
Of course he then went on to explain that the family must have neglected some important ritual or sacrifice, or the kid would not have been inflicted with this white person's disease.
But I did hear something that got a loud snicker out of me, which I had to partially suppress, because I was listening to NPR with earbuds, and nobody would have known what I was laughing at.
This guy has written a book about autism, and he explored how autism was identified and treated in other cultures besides ours. In Korea, the mother is automatically blamed. In India, they are starting to be more enlightened. In Africa, a mother wanted to take her autistic child to a specialist, and she had to go around and around with her in-laws, who insisted that the child was possessed, and needed to be taken to a witch doctor. Finally the in-laws prevailed, and the child was taken to the witch doctor.
After the child had been with the witch doctor a couple of days, the witch doctor told the family, "This child has autism."
Of course he then went on to explain that the family must have neglected some important ritual or sacrifice, or the kid would not have been inflicted with this white person's disease.
angelkitty7888
Really Really Experienced
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oh my god that is so awesome.......i love it..... *cracks up again*quoll said:
silverwhisper
just this guy, you know?
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quoll, that was beautiful!
ed
ed
midwestyankee
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Quoll, you always measure up to me expectations....for humor, of course.
EJFan
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A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss
program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before
him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a
pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces
herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads:
"If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later,
huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing
happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has
lost 10 lb. as promised.
He then calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands
the most stunning, bea utiful, sexy woman h e has ever seen in his life.
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck
that reads: "If you catch me you can have me."
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot! This girl is in excellent
shape and it takes him a while to catch her; but when he does, it's
definitely worth every muscle cramp and wheeze, so for the next four
days, the same routine happens.
Much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself to discover
that he has lost another 20 lb. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50
lb. program..
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone - "This is our
most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies,"I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he
finds a huge, muscular, 6'6" hairy man wearing nothing but pink running
shoes and a sign around his neck th at reads:, "I'm Leroy. If I catch
you, you're mine..."
program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before
him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a
pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces
herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads:
"If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later,
huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing
happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has
lost 10 lb. as promised.
He then calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands
the most stunning, bea utiful, sexy woman h e has ever seen in his life.
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck
that reads: "If you catch me you can have me."
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot! This girl is in excellent
shape and it takes him a while to catch her; but when he does, it's
definitely worth every muscle cramp and wheeze, so for the next four
days, the same routine happens.
Much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself to discover
that he has lost another 20 lb. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50
lb. program..
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone - "This is our
most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies,"I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he
finds a huge, muscular, 6'6" hairy man wearing nothing but pink running
shoes and a sign around his neck th at reads:, "I'm Leroy. If I catch
you, you're mine..."
Saucyminx
High heels and attitude
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- Jan 23, 2005
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I was sitting at a stop light today, with the kids in the back, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, my daughter hit my son in the head with a 3 foot long inflatable hammer. I don't know where it came from--i didn't even know they had it. But in the rear view mirror i saw WHAMMO! and heard that hysterical squeaky noise. I nearly had to pull over.
pleasteasme
*Endangered Species*
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- Jun 3, 2001
- Posts
- 16,389
I felt like I was in a cartoon or a comedy... I had the "mom" bag full of my doggy stuff and both dogs on leashes. They wrapped themselves around me, catching me with the leashes, nearly tripping me. As soon as I would get unwrapped, they would bind me up again! This went on for a couple of minutes and unfortunately other people saw 
EJFan
Absolute Genius
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- Jan 19, 2004
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now i know what to do with my old leashes.pleasteasme said:I felt like I was in a cartoon or a comedy... I had the "mom" bag full of my doggy stuff and both dogs on leashes. They wrapped themselves around me, catching me with the leashes, nearly tripping me. As soon as I would get unwrapped, they would bind me up again! This went on for a couple of minutes and unfortunately other people saw
poppy1963
Born Yesterday
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pleasteasme
*Endangered Species*
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EJFan said:now i know what to do with my old leashes.
Oh yes... remember, I have a collar for you with my phone number. You know, in case you get lost.
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