What made you smile or laugh today? Part IV
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muddler35
Guest
Me sweet talking my girl at bedtime: I can’t wait to bring you breakfast in bed.
Her: mmmmm, but I don’t like toast.
Me: Okay, I’ll make an English muffin.
Her: Just don’t toast it.
Me: ??? An untoasted English muffin?
Her: zzzzzzzzzz
10 minutes later. Still her. Talking/yelling in her sleep: I DONT LIKE TOAST!
She doesn’t like toast
Her: mmmmm, but I don’t like toast.
Me: Okay, I’ll make an English muffin.
Her: Just don’t toast it.
Me: ??? An untoasted English muffin?
Her: zzzzzzzzzz
10 minutes later. Still her. Talking/yelling in her sleep: I DONT LIKE TOAST!
She doesn’t like toast
L
Lady2020
Guest
A comment on one of my threads. 
seela
Quark Thief
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Coming home from work to find J cooking. Not only was he cooking, but he was also listening to Bad Medicine by Bon Jovi on his headphones, singing and jamming while cooking. He didn't hear me come in, so I could watch and listen to him do his thing in the kitchen for some time before he realized he wasn't alone anymore.
So happy to attach another great memory to this song, one of my favorites.
So happy to attach another great memory to this song, one of my favorites.
Orchidea73
Adaneth, I am!
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The sea is always right.
The sky is bipolar.
The peaks are always high.
The sand is always hated.
The river is passive-aggressive.
The Valleys are always depressed.
The coastline wants to speak to a manager.
The sky is bipolar.
The peaks are always high.
The sand is always hated.
The river is passive-aggressive.
The Valleys are always depressed.
The coastline wants to speak to a manager.
IrisAlthea
Literotica Guru
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traill
Puppy
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I had to laugh at it as well. The pipes are just supposedly so small that one has to empty the water slowly. Bizarre!I’m truly sorry, but that made me laugh.
Moochienanu
Gives hot transcript
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I wear protective glasses on a lanyard at work so that I can take them off and they won’t get lost. Last night I scarfed down my broccoli and kale chop salad real fast because I had a pressing emergency. While scrubbing my hands later on during the night, I happened to look over to the mirror next to the scrub sinks and burst out laughing: I had a piece of kale stuck in between my nose and glasses for at least 30 minutes! I did an entire assessment with it there! And it wasn’t small! 
Serves me right for eating healthy!
Serves me right for eating healthy!
Wonderer67
Optimistic nihilist
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Happened a few weeks ago:
Went to bathroom in middle of the night, go back to bed, can’t see anything. Accidentally walked into my nightstand and now there’s a VERY LOUD buzzing sound. WTF!?!
Scares the fuck out of me and wakes my wife out of a very deep sleep. She is panicking, I have no idea what the fuck is happening!
I had to turn on the light to see what’s going on, now I’m blind….
The culprit? We had been playing with her hitachi, she or I put it in the nightstand drawer, left it open and when I walked into it, it the hi/low switch must’ve been right where the drawer was and turned on the vibrator!
This has been a public service announcement. Put your sex toys away when done w them.
Went to bathroom in middle of the night, go back to bed, can’t see anything. Accidentally walked into my nightstand and now there’s a VERY LOUD buzzing sound. WTF!?!
Scares the fuck out of me and wakes my wife out of a very deep sleep. She is panicking, I have no idea what the fuck is happening!
I had to turn on the light to see what’s going on, now I’m blind….
The culprit? We had been playing with her hitachi, she or I put it in the nightstand drawer, left it open and when I walked into it, it the hi/low switch must’ve been right where the drawer was and turned on the vibrator!
This has been a public service announcement. Put your sex toys away when done w them.
BiBunny
Moon Queen & Wanderer
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I had this happen to me when I was in college! It was a little bullet-type vibrator, and I had it laying on the counter next to the sink because I had just cleaned it. I went to bed, and I guess it shifted just enough to hit the on switch somehow. I heard something that sounded like a jackhammer coming from the bathroom, and it scared the crap out of me. I didn't put two and two together immediately and actually ended up calling my then-boyfriend at work (he worked night shift) because it scared me so badly. It was loud enough that he could hear it over the phone! Then, I finally got brave and went in the bathroom, and there's this damn vibrator vibrating so hard it's jumping up off the counter.
Wonderer67
Optimistic nihilist
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Jesus Christ - that tops my story! We’re watching a basketball game on tv and I just read your story to my wife. . she is literally on the couch out of breath laughing and no noise is coming out of her mouth.I had this happen to me when I was in college! It was a little bullet-type vibrator, and I had it laying on the counter next to the sink because I had just cleaned it. I went to bed, and I guess it shifted just enough to hit the on switch somehow. I heard something that sounded like a jackhammer coming from the bathroom, and it scared the crap out of me. I didn't put two and two together immediately and actually ended up calling my then-boyfriend at work (he worked night shift) because it scared me so badly. It was loud enough that he could hear it over the phone! Then, I finally got brave and went in the bathroom, and there's this damn vibrator vibrating so hard it's jumping up off the counter.
L
Lady2020
Guest
Pretty sure it was a Mozart piece I played in recital that froze my love of piano. Could it have been that I was pushed too soon to achieve artistic greatness? The last time I played the piano was after a bf died. But he was into heroin and I was a naive frozen twit.
The last time I played the piano was after a bf died. But he was into heroin and I was a naive frozen twit.
seela
Quark Thief
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Were you armed with something when you approached the vibrator? I want to imagine you wielding a baseball bat or maybe a gigantic dildo.I had this happen to me when I was in college! It was a little bullet-type vibrator, and I had it laying on the counter next to the sink because I had just cleaned it. I went to bed, and I guess it shifted just enough to hit the on switch somehow. I heard something that sounded like a jackhammer coming from the bathroom, and it scared the crap out of me. I didn't put two and two together immediately and actually ended up calling my then-boyfriend at work (he worked night shift) because it scared me so badly. It was loud enough that he could hear it over the phone! Then, I finally got brave and went in the bathroom, and there's this damn vibrator vibrating so hard it's jumping up off the counter.
IrisAlthea
Literotica Guru
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Were you armed with something when you approached the vibrator? I want to imagine you wielding a baseball bat or maybe a gigantic dildo.
Or twirling anal beads like nunchakus!
BiBunny
Moon Queen & Wanderer
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Were you armed with something when you approached the vibrator? I want to imagine you wielding a baseball bat or maybe a gigantic dildo.
I think I did pick up something, but I can't remember what it was. It was probably not very useful, whatever it happened to be, lol.
AngelWithAShotgun
Kitten Bites
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twister947
Childless Cat Dude
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World Toilet Day
Wonderer67
Optimistic nihilist
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Working outside in the cold today. Refreshing, focusing, feeling very purposeful.
melimelissa
Presque perdue.
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The dark nun off the road
https://i.imgur.com/uzlOjZu.png
https://i.imgur.com/uzlOjZu.png
